Holding off on info during the height of draft time is just not my M.O.  So I am bringing the goods and the reliever rankings a week earlier than anticipated.  Why go into battle with a water pistol when you can go with the boomstick?  At this point in the preseason, having a few teams with committee situations is normally a bad thing, except when you get to grab the right guy in that committee.  Having multiple draftable options from one team is more of a benefit than a detriment on draft day, because inevitably one person is going to be wrong in that selection process and it is usually the guy who gets drafted higher.  So looking at the situations with the White Sox, Rangers, Cardinals, and Diamondbacks as they sit today committee’s exist.  Whether we want to believe it or not, each team has no clear cut closer and if you are skimming, this is still a good thing.  Let someone else draft Gregerson, Soria, Parker, and Claudio.  While you can sit back and wait a few picks or even rounds and scoop up Leone, Jones, Bedrosian, and Kela.  As the season draws closer, this advantage will dwindle down to nothing, but for now use it to your advantage.  Miss out on a top 8-10 closer, no worries, load up on the maybe’s and possibilities and if they don’t pan out than you can easily pivot to a more useful option on the waiver.  So when someone says a committee is a bad thing, laugh and agree.  Then drop the quartet of save possibilities into your team and see what happens.  At worst they will cost you four out of your last seven picks.  At that point in the draft, you should have an established team with all starters in place and you would be gambling on reliever talent anyways.  Now you have the knowledge in your corner and a little bit of rankings goodness from ole’ Smokey.  The initial installment of the Closer report with rankings is here, get excited!


$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Kenley Jansen – (Scott Alexander, Josh Fields)

2. Aroldis Chapman – (David Robertson, Dellin Betances)

3. Craig Kimbrel –  (Joe Kelly, Carson Smith)



Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

4. Roberto Osuna – ( Ryan Tepera, Seung-hwan Oh)

5. Cody Allen – (Andrew Miller, Nick Goody)

6. Corey Knebel – (Jacob Barnes, Josh Hader)

7. Ken Giles – (Chris Devenski, Will Harris)

8. Felipe Rivero – (George Kontos, Michael Feliz)

9. Brad Hand – (Kirby Yates, Craig Stammen)

10. Sean Doolittle – (Ryan Madson, Brandon Kintzler)

11. Edwin Diaz – (Juan Nicasio, David Phelps)

12. Wade Davis – (Bryan Shaw, Jake McGee)

13. Raisel Iglesias – (Michael Lorenzen, David Hernandez)

14. Alex Colome – (Daniel Hudson, Sergio Romo)

15. Mark Melancon – (Sam Dyson, Tony Watson)

16. Brandon Morrow – (Carl Edwards Jr.,  Steve Cishek)

17. Blake Treinen – (Liam Hendriks, Yusmeiro Petit)

18. Kelvin Herrera – (Brandon Maurer, Wily Peralta)



These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.

19. Hector Neris – (Pat Neshek, Tommy Hunter)

20. Shane Greene – (Alex Wilson, Joe Jimenez)

21. Arodys Vizcaino – (A.J. Minter, Jose Ramirez)

22. Jeurys Familia – ( A.J. Ramos, Anthony Swarzak)

23. Brad Brach – (Mychal Givens, Darren O’Day)

24. Fernando Rodney – (Addison Reed. Trevor Hildenberger)


Brain Freezes

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

25. Cam Bedrosian – (Blake Parker, Kenyan Middleton)

26. Brad Ziegler – (Drew Steckenrider, Kyle Barraclough)

27. Dominic Leone/Luke Gregerson

28. Archie Bradley/Brad Boxberger/Yoshihisa Hirano

29. Alex Claudio/ Keone Kela/ Matt Bush/ Jake Diekman

30. Joakim Soria/Nate Jones/Juan Minaya



  1. Zeus says:

    Carl Edwards Jr was the second male lead on a failed late 1980:s Sherman Hemsley pilot.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @Zeus: ha.

  2. Jorts says:


    Love you guys. And I feel like a d**che saying this. But there’s no apostrophe in “committees” :(

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @Jorts: only douche’s don’t spell out douche. Lol. Just kidding.

  3. Uncle Ernie says:

    Landing spot for Holland? Closing or setup. Thanks

    • Zeus says:

      @Uncle Ernie: The Lansing spot for Holland was a small island at the base of a tidal estuary later named after an English explorer

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @Uncle Ernie: that draft pick connected to him sucks. Waiting for an injury or some team to say yea we need this guy. Texas, St. Louis and Anaheim are most obvious spots although two people f the three have already said not interested.

      • Uncle Ernie says:

        @Smokey: going to drop him then. Would you pick up Miller Leone or Soria

        • Super Terrific Carpal Tunnel Virusy Box vs Mail Robot (who wins) says:

          @Uncle Ernie: a.miller?! him for just best stats, but possibly least saves. for those probably soria/leone/miller but stats wise it’s the opposite.

        • Smokey

          Smokey says:

          @Uncle Ernie: I would stash him. And how are those three guys not owned?

          • Uncle Ernie says:

            @Smokey: stash who?

  4. LeftCoastYankee says:

    Roughly, how much would you budget in a standard 5×5 12-team $260 auction league? This look about right…?

    $20 for the $12 salads
    $8-$16 for the D’Corns
    $2-$8 for the Employed
    $1 gamble on the Brain Freezes (if necessary)

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @LeftCoastYankee: 20-25 for top and a few more shelled for gambles is always a good thing. If you choose to spend that way.

  5. LeftCoastYankee says:

    You really think Vizcaino/Familia/Rodney are safely employed with no real threat (from say…Minter/Swarzak/Reed)?

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @LeftCoastYankee: the Braves and twins have already said that Viz and Rodney are the closers, but that category has volatility. Familia has zero pressure from Swarzak who has pitched in one game. Ramos is the pressure guy if any. The employees me section means good not great hold on the job.

      • a says:

        @Smokey: you don’t think their coach saying they won’t use a set closer matters?

  6. Savoy Special says:

    14 Team H2H redraft OPS league

    Drop Kipnis, Villar, or Zimmer for Chris Taylor?

    C: Realmuto
    1B: Josh Bell
    2B: Kipnis
    3B: Matt Chapman
    SS: Lindor
    OF: Trout
    OF: Souza
    OF: Haniger
    UTL: Bradley Zimmer
    Bench: Villar


  7. Super Terrific Carpal Tunnel Virusy Box vs Mail Robot (who wins) says:

    16 team roto. keep 4 at previous season’s ADP. deep rosters. OBP over AVG, slugging, OPS, total bases, steals % and hits added for hitting: holds, QS, K/BB, K/9, net saves and holds added.
    C realmuto (1st time i’ve probably ever gone catcher this early in deeper league, 8)
    1B hoskins (2)
    2B albies (10)
    3B devers (K, 28)
    SS bregman (3B, K, 6)
    CI morales (15)
    MI gyorko (1B/3B, 19)
    LF rosario (7)
    CF pollock (3)
    RF mookie (K, 1)
    OF puig (4.2 had traded for an extra 4th rounder in moving stanton for myers last year)
    util brantley LF (16)
    util maybin CF/LF (LAST starting steals guy left along with cargo 2 at the time 16)
    util wong 2B (26)
    NA (2 slots) big willie (17), senzel (22)

    SP (about 7 optimal, 1800 max innings, with one of them streamer), ray (K, 13), archer (4.1), shark (11), wacha (12), clevinger (18), ryu (21), gohara (will be DL’d 25),
    RP (room for 6): rivero (5), colome (9), lyons (23), boxy (24), dyson (27)

    1. look balanced, war room seems ok with it, but hard to say with that many starters, i don’t think it adjusts for that many starters in 16’s. gambled on getting acuna since i waited so long on 3rd SP and missed him barely.

    2. need some holds with this probably: best guy, j.barnes, vincent, strickland, hunter, hudson, c.smith, m.barnes. nabbed dyson in case closing i can trade, some owners in 16’s are always saves weak.

    3. best extra bat: pinder (but he appears to be lefty only side), soler power, moran, a.diaz, flowers


  8. Scott says:

    How do you rank these RPs for holds, k and ratios and maybe the occasional save or win: cishek, carson smith, phelps, goody, harris, hildenberger (awful spring). And we use k/9 btw. Thanks

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @Scott: Harris Smith Phelps Goody hildenberger cishek

  9. The Itch

    Nick says:

    Why would you condone drafting a pile of non closers and ignore Holland? His value can get the big up arrow from a simple news blip, no? These other guys you suggest need stuff to happen on the field. We won’t know that outcome for weeks. No different than Holland, except their less likely to ever be “the guy” in their respective pens.

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @Nick: not ignoring Holland. He just doesn’t have a job. When he has a job he will be a high ranking donkeycorn. This is just for saves as it sits right now, drafting wise I would take him after Treinen

  10. Squidblob says:

    Care to lay odds on Bud Norris sneaking into Cards saves early on?- he sounds like he’s gunning for it in the Spring Training quotes

    • Smokey

      Smokey says:

      @Squidblob: I figure he gets some saves but never the guy on his own, figure 8 saves.

  11. Super Terrific Carpal Tunnel Virusy Box vs Mail Robot (who wins) says:

    need some holds with this probably: best guy, j.barnes, vincent, strickland, hunter, hudson, c.smith, m.barnes. nabbed dyson in case closing i can trade, some owners in 16’s are always saves weak.

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