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At this point in the season, it’s like a tag line for a bad horror film, no one is safe.  Narrator, “This fall, in a theater near you, Jamie Lee Curtis, the world’s hottest cougar.  A cougar so hot when she enters any room, a DJ plays, “Stray Cat Strut,” but the people in the room replace cat with cougar.”  Unsuspecting person, whistling, “I’m just going to open this random closet over here while this ominous music plays.  No, I’m not going to turn on a light first, that would be silly.”  Unsuspecting person opens the closet door and Jamie Lee Curtis jumps out, “Boo!”  “Boo as in you want to be my boo, because you are so hot for a 70-year-old.  How about me, you and the diner waitress who calls me sugar get a motel room?”  Jamie Lee Curtis shakes her head and walks away as people sing Stray Cougar Strut.  Narrator returns, “No one is safe, and everyone wants to sleep with the 70-year-old Jamie Lee Curtis, because she is so hot.  Has she had work done?”  No one is safe on fantasy teams either.  In the Sells, I’ll get to dropping, but this is about picking up (and not just 70-year-old women).  There’s a good chance I go all-in on Daniel Palka this offseason.  Of course, before going all-in, it’s important to get consent first.  I learned this the hard way with Giancarlo.  This post is just about what he can do over the next week.  That would be best informed by what he’s done over the last week:  4 HRs and hitting .375.  As I tell Jamie Lee Curtis in my daydreams, giddy up, sexy, we’re going for a ride!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This week is all about securing a closer for the end of the season. There are a host of names that could fulfill this role depending on availability in your league. Some of the guys I’m looking at this week are Mychal Givens (FAAB: 3%), Nate Jones (FAAB: 3%), Tommy Hunter (FAAB: 2%), and Ty Buttrey (FAAB: 2%). All of these pitches are providing saves in their current bullpen situations. I’ve listed the players based on talent and opportunity.

Givens and Jones are easily the most skilled of the bunch. Both were vying for the closer role even before other names were traded away from their respective teams. Givens was an add when he secured 8 wins in two-straight seasons as a dominant long reliever for the Orioles, and Jones is always a name people will grab as a high-level 8th inning arm.

Hunter and Buttrey are new to the equation.  I’ve speculated on Hunter multiple times throughout the year when the Phillies bullpen was in flux. He is providing a ton of value the past two seasons without being relevant in the fantasy community whatsoever. Now that Seranthony Dominguez seems to be out, Hunter should be the guy for the rest of 2018. Buttrey is in the same situation with Angels closer Blake Parker being relegated to the 8th inning role. He is a very unknown name that is now saving games and could go overlooked in FAAB this weekend.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Mets outfielder/grandfather Jay Bruce hit his second home run in the past three days last night, a 3-run shot that put the game out of reach and he finished the night 2-for-5, with his eighth home run and four runs batted in. When Jay has-a-day at Fenway that calls for the throwback “Bruuuuuuuuce!” Despite battling injuries all year long, the veteran is now batting .270 with four home runs and 12 RBI in September and he’s getting hot at just the right time for his team and fantasy owners. The Mets have won seven games in a row, you guys! That’s right, that same Mets team that won just five games in June are 7-3 over their last 10 games! Why do you care? Well, Bruce’s mighty power bat could be a big reason why! There was also a rat in the dugout and on the field at ‘Family Friendly’ Fenway Friday night, and I’m inclined to say the New York Mess probably brought the plague with them, but at least no one has hand foot and mouth disease…yet. Barring him catching the black plague, Bruce might catch fire in the next couple days because that’s what Jay Bruce does, so I’m telling you now that all the signs are there for the beginning of an absolute tear and maybe you should grab him before that happens. It’s easy to forget he hit 37 home runs between New York and Cleveland last year. I’m not saying he gets to 30 home runs, or even 20, but the Mets are hot, Jay sits in the heart of this line up and one of a few players capable of a 5+ homer week. He was a BUY and he’s available in over 75% of leagues and the team is Queens in a fantasy gold mine right now. I can’t believe I’m saying that, what a wild season!

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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In my Blake Snell sleeper post, my prescience was like the exact opposite of science applied by flat earthers around the world.  Look out the plane window and it’s flat, but pull further back it’s round.  In reverse, if you pull out for enough, you see I wrote a sleeper post for Blake Snell — great! — but if you zoom in closer you see everything I said in that post was far from accurate.  Good from 30,000 feet, less from Altuve’s distance.  I talked up Chris Archer and Jake Faria.  Said Jose De Leon is ready!   Only one I didn’t like was Nathan Eovaldi, who actually was solid.  I went over how Snell could be great, but this good?  Puh-leaze.  Snell and his extended family didn’t think he’d be breathing down a sub-2 ERA in the middle of September.   Most accurate thing I said, “At 25 years of age and in his third major league season while primed for his first full year of innings, is about the best time to get in on him figuring it out.  After 2018, Snell is going to be a known top 20 starter and you’ll never get him cheap again.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Yesterday, Blake Snell went 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners (1 Hit), 9 Ks, ERA at 2.03.  In the AL East!  Actually, my ‘accurate’ quote might not be accurate enough, I should’ve said Blake Snell will be a top 5-10 starter in 2019 fantasy baseball.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Daydream Bieber is a homecoming KEEEEEEN-ing-ing-ing-iiiiing.  If you could’ve heard that in my head, you’d be like, “Damn, Grey’s got some pipes!”  I think I might be tone deaf.  Is there anyway to know for sure?  Because I hear myself and I sound fine, and then I hear Jennifer Hudson and I’m like, “I sound like her in my head.”  Is that tone deaf?   My dog, Ted, is colorblind.  In other words, Ted doesn’t discriminate.  Therefore, maybe tone deaf is the perfect set of ears because it doesn’t discriminate sounds.  Also, do you think my dog translates everything I say into barks?  I’m a curious person probably why I’m off the Mensa scale — or Womensa scale or non-binarysa scale.  Any hoosies!  Shane Bieber threw 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks yesterday and dazzled again, though some of those dazzlers were mixed in with frowny faces — sad-dazzlers?  Sadazzlers?  Frownedazzlers?  Trapped myself into a portmanteau loop and there’s no way out!  I’d use the Stream-o-Nator for his upcoming starts, but for 2019 there’s very little to be pessimistic about with Bieber.  His 9.6 K/9, 1.7 BB/9 and 3.24 xFIP are things of beauty.  If he can do that in 2019, Bieber could easily back himself into a top 40 starter season and a fantasy number three with flashes of two.  I’m down for that even if there’s some frownedazzlers mixed in!  Sadazzlers?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Did you know they’re remaking Magnum P.I. with the title character sans mustache? That’s some bunk, right there. Unlike that fake, Magneuris Sierra could be a real deal smooth operator. Steal a couple roto points these last few weeks by employing a heavy speed approach. Base swipers like Sierra are popping up with September call-ups and certain teams throwing in the towel. Keep grinding speed chasers.

Just for reference, as I was out and about, the “cult” classic by Lisa Lisa was on.  Now you can admit it or you can lie about it, but if you hear this song on in the privacy of your own aloneness, and you turn the radio up.  I’m sorry but it’s true.  If not, it is completely just me and I have some severe music intangible listening ability that is slightly off.  Where was I?  Bullpens you say, bullpens I say.  The first real bullpen post after the trade deadline is always a tough tell.  The good contending teams basically stack up the depth of their pens and make the most unique and usable reliever an after thought, or a “questionable” own in holds leagues.  I hate that this happens, because you roll along all season with a set it and forget it holds option and poof, they go to a contender and now are fourth fiddle.  And nobody remembers the fourth fiddler in the Charlie Daniels’ band.  If you do, climb out the basement and stare at the sun awhile, you two have missed each other’s company.  So if you are sitting on names that changed to a contender that are now tertiary in line for a hold, move on.  Grab a first-chair guy maybe on a lesser team, or even from that guys old team.  This time of the year, if trying to capitalize on the utmost hold capabilities, there can be no allegiances.  No saluting your past accumulation and move on.  I am adding in a chart this week that shows holds and chances for the last 30 days to lessen the load on your research ability.  After all it’s Friday, you ain’t got no job, why not stay and hang out with Smokey?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You know what is fun this time of year?  The bullpen shuffle.  Whomever is closest to the computer or phone wins the waiver game in most cases.  Well… that’s now the case with the Padres with the trade of Brad Hand to the Indians.  The waiver wire is set ablaze for one Kirby Yates, but is he the guy forever, or the guy for now?  I am leaning that the trade door in San Diego is gonna revolve one more time and see Yates come out the other side a bullpen piece rather than a closing man.  Hand’s still a valuable commodity, granted he won’t be a full-time closer with the Tribe, but his peripherals and Cody Allen‘s shakiness as of late… will lead to a “sometimes” situation.  Hand is a hold in all leagues because he should get a shot for every third save or so with his new club.  Add in the K-rate over 13 and he has intrigue that only a dozen or so non-closers have. Back to Yates though, since this is the afternoon post and Grey has gone over it this morning and most likely will after this in his buy post, but Yates has value for now.  In fact, he’s had value for most of the year in holds leagues, with a 11+ K/9 and a ton of success in the setup game in the reliever farm known as the Whale’s Vagina. So why am I so hesitant to give him the go?  He is a journeyman reliever whose value is never going to be higher than right now, or in eight days with some saves to his name.  So if you swung and missed at the waiver wire add for saves with Yates, grab Craig Stammen for free and just wait.  Waiting is always a good thing, especially with a maybe-closer in the making, albeit one with not much quantity potential.  More bullpen goodies and post all star tidbits after the bump.  Cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to the bi-monthly look at nose picking.  Nah, I am obviously talking about bullpens, because they usually come in second to the nose goblins anyways.  Lots of people always ask me: How do you shuffle between holds guys and get an effective return?  First off, if you wanna surf the waiver trend and stream the hell out of relievers for holds purposes, you gotta be aware that you can’t be afraid to let your ratios go to pot.  Not like move to Colorado and play Bohemian drums and stuff, just the trends that I have encountered and noticed is that with the quantity in holds there comes a slight tick to ERA and WHIP.  Not an awful turn of events, if you you have sufficient starters that hold down the metrics.  I don’t even know if metrics was the right word there, but I just saw a commercial for a tutoring service for kids… ummm, its summer.  So back to the picking a winner lede discussion…  When in doubt, pick a winner, four of the top-five hold accumulating teams are in first place.  Six out of the top-10.  I wish I can make the cliche statement that bullpens win games and have it be unique and quirky and new, but quality bullpens don’t not hurt your teams chance at winning. So if you are looking at streaming or even in the business for flip-flopping relievers in this high holy season of the All Star break, ask yourself two questions; how has he done over the last two weeks, and is his team scoring enough runs for the quantity?  Because any good reliever needs to be worth the squeeze.  And it doesn’t hurt to be a front-running team.  So choose wisely, and for all intents and purposes hit me up.  Never hurts to ask the guy who sleeps in bullpen pajamas.  More bits of tid after the jump, cheers!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here’s what I’ve said previously about Aaron Hicks, “Open Up and Buy AH, because owning Aaron Hicks is Nothin’ But A Good Time!  Also, a good time is searching any girl’s name from Rock of Love with your parental controls turned off.  Okay, I have a few Bee Tee Dubs here.  Unless you have a child, you don’t set parental controls on your TV.  You can filter what you see without magically stumbling on porn.  The internet though?  You need parental controls on it, no matter if you’re home, at work, 12 years old, 64 years old, at school or on the john.  You can Google something as innocuous as “Persian cucumber” with no parental controls and all hell breaks loose in your search results.  “Oh em gee, I just wanted a recipe for a cucumber salad!  And, wow, I didn’t know Omar Sharif had so many nude scenes.”   Bee tee dubya II, we’re due for a terrible 80’s hair band renaissance.  Someone needs to do a cover of a Poison song.  Bee tee dubya III, there is no bee tee dubya III.  Bee tee dubya IV, I have this nugget in my brain that says, even though I was only 14 years old, I knew how awful Poison was at the time.  Like, when they did Your Mama Don’t Dance, a big part of me knew they were absolutely terrible, even then.  Any hoo!  Hey, any hoo’s initials are Aaron Hicks.  Coinkydink?  Thinks not.  He’s on a 162-game pace of 25 HRs, 15 SBs and a .260 average.  Of course, that doesn’t matter.  We just want a hot player at this point, and, on our 7-day Player Rater, he’s near top 25, and should be owned everywhere.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Yes, the royal we (which is me wearing a Burger King crown) have been here before, but every year it’s the same story with Hicks, until he gets hurt.  Hey, he’s more predictable than that hair band renaissance apparently!  For now, Hicks is healthy, and should be owned.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?