(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY YESTERDAY ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $5/MONTH.)

You walk into the banquet hall where your cousin, Jared Walsh, is having his bar mitzvah, and the first thing that hits you is the macho-aggressive tones of Kenny Loggins. Kenny shouts at you a question, “Are you gonna wait for a sign, your miracle?” Down by your side, you snap your fingers, and quietly answer, “Stand up and fight.” As if he’s talking directly to you, Kenny’s pulsating voice hits you with another command, “Make no mistake where you are,” and under your breath you quietly respond, “This is it.” Kenny, “Your back’s to the corner.” You slide your back against a wall and louder now, “This is it.” Kenny’s fighting you to be better, “Don’t be a fool anymore.” You, fighting back tears, “This is it.” Then your aunt comes over and asks you if you’re still dating that goy, sees tears streaming down your face and uncomfortably waits for you to compose yourself. Kenny’s back, “The waiting is over,” you run to the stage, but Kenny sings, “No, don’t you run.” Finally, you get to the stage where the deejay has his back to you. All you see is his Orioles’ jersey and his last name Stewart. When he turns to you, you see DJ Stewart, the epitome of cool, and not just because he’s in front of a wind machine. He leans down and says with the wisdom of a great sage, “I’m just a hot schmotato, you’re the real star.” He’s right, of course. That’s all you need for the final ten days. Jared Walsh looks like a Quad-A player, but he’s hitting in front of Mike Trout, and it doesn’t get any better. I’m grabbing Walsh, DJ Stewart and everyone from this bar mitzvah — even you, Aunt Marilyn! Also, everyone is expendable (except Aunt Marilyn, bless her heart). Play only hot hands. You need to play footloose and fancy free with your teams in this final stretch. “Did someone say Footloose?” That’s DJ Stewart readying up the next Kenny Loggins. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Ryan Jeffers – With Mitch Garver out, and doing as well when healthy as the sales of my latest Shark Tank product — “HELLO SHARKS, my product is dolls of Christian Yelich’s mom, I call it MILF on the Shelf” — Jeffers has filled in admirably, and I own him in one two-catcher league for his power.

Sean Murphy – He’s been platooning a lot with Jonah Heim, who sounds like he knows a thing or two about bar mitzvahs too, but when Murphy’s been in there, he’s been hitting.

Bobby Dalbec – Carve up a piece of venison to look like Bobby Doerr, have it with a glass a Malbec, and call it a Dalbec, or you are not doing this fantasy thing correctly.

Jose Marmolejos – Yo, DJ Stewart, put on some of that Gypsy Kings shizz! Marmolejos…Marmoley-ah!

Nate Lowe – Oh, snap! DJ Stewart is now putting on Lil Jon! Get Lowe…Get Lowe…To the window! To the wall! To the sweat drops down my face while trying to win a fantasy league!

Ty France – For our five girl readers, we have another three days of this Hot Girl Summer. Pull out your crimping iron, and get your hair did! Now that you’re looking your best, grab France. It’s the one chance for a romantic getaway this year.

Scott Kingery – With Hoskins out, Kingery should see near-everyday starts. Don’t make me try to figure out other positives for Kingery this year.

Yairo Munoz – Can’t believe the Cards gave up on this guy didn’t they know he’d have a near-.450 BABIP?

Ke’Bryan Hayes – How great has this guy been? Huh? (Don’t look at his stats, they’re not great.) So great! (Well, it’s only one more week where he needs to sustain the unsustainable peripherals.) Awesome stuff! (If you ignore everything I’m saying in the parenthesis.)

Alec Bohm – Hasn’t been nearly the call-up as Ryan Mountcastle, but worth owning in most leagues. On a side but related note, I wonder how many of the rookies called up this year get exposed next year because so many barely saw time above Double-A, and get sent back down. I’d guess at least a handful of surprising names.

Miguel Rojas – Possibly the NL batting title winner if Mattingly played Rojas every day and/or higher in the order, but Mattingly loves the idea of known-leadoff hitter *reading notes, confused* Corey Dickerson?

Garrett Cooper – Puttin’ on the hitz, Garrett Cooper. Super duper.

Justus Sheffield – This is a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to its local consignment store.

Jose Urquidy – This is also a Streamonator call. “I don’t have money to buy all of them, I was just wondering if I can come by and chat with your secondhand electronics.”

Andrew Miller – The Cardinals still have about a half season to play, so a bunch of guys could get saves for them this final week-plus (Gant, Helsley, Gomber, some other goober). My guess is Miller’s the first guy to roster. Am I singing, “I love you, you love me,” to Miller? No, I’m not Barney Miller.

Yoshihisa Hirano – The M’s closer should be higher on people’s radars. At least as high as Ty Buttrey. You’re trying to get saves, not cover goddamn popcorn!

Stefan Crichton – You know who Crichton is? A guy you draft for saves in November in your way-too-early drafts, who you have no expectations for and he turns out to be a top five closer next year. Did you believe that? Then I have a story about an amusement park that uses found DNA to recreate dinosaurs, gets a ton of people eaten, then reopens every five years.

SELL

Everyone – Stop looking for an “everyone” on your fantasy team. Everyone isn’t a person, it’s everyone. Keanu, “Whoa.” You can’t wait for some phantom hot streak that may or may not come. I’d drop everyone this final week if they’re not performing. There’s no time to wait. This is it, as Kenny Loggins tried to instill in you, and you need to do whatever it takes to win your league! Don’t be afraid of success. Be the hero you always dreamt yourself to be. Be a bright, shining star who is able to win a rando 60-game fantasy season! Be the man you see when you look in the reflection of your computer screen when your fantasy team page is loading. DJ Stewart whispers, “If you’re scared, give me your Loggins, and I’ll take the controls.”

 
  1. DonnieB says:
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    Dolis,Crichton or Neris for the last week?

    Who is the drop among C Walker, A Riley, K Seager or Walsh for the last week? It is a keeper league so if close,drop the non keeper.

    Thanks as always!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Crichton or Dolis, pretty close…prolly that order… lose Seager

  2. Steverino says:
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    What are we thinking about Kikuchi v SD today?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’m not messing with him

      • Steverino says:
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        Yeah, I picked him up for the start but not willingly. Hopefully my opponent’s Hill gets flamed by the Cubs and I don’t have to make a decision…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, think it could go massively sideways

          • Stephen Lyon says:
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            Not trying to be a smart-ass (this time) but what makes you like Justice better?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Justice?

              • Stephen Lyon says:
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                Oops. Justus! Sheffield.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Oh, his FIP is solid and Kikuchi has burned me so bad, so fact and gut based…if SON likes Kikuchi, I say go for it

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    Not like there’s a ton of great options out there in most leagues

                    • Stephen Lyon says:
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                      I hear ya. He’s just over a buck which is still usable in a 14-teamer but SD scares me. Love Justus tho. Has been terrific every time I’ve used him.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yeah, SD scares me too…I’ve had luck with Justus so that might play into it too

  3. scoboticus says:
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    In a normal year, id be excited to have Lux and Story hitting in Colorado tonight, but it’s 2020.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, yup

  4. rhodyballer says:
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    Hirano over Dolis?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, that sounds about right…these guys are all a coin flip

      • DonnieB says:
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        I know Dolis has 7 home games.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Then go Dolis, I don’t have everyone’s schedule in front of me

          • Will says:
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            FYI on Dolis:

            “Rafael Dolis was pulled from Friday’s game against the Phillies with right knee discomfort.

            The right-hander had allowed two hits while striking out one in his 1/3 of an inning. Expect the Blue Jays to provide an update on his status prior to Saturday’s game.”

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              That sounds not good…Bass is also not good tho so that’s a pickle

  5. Matty says:
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    Is there a glossary term for when all your teams are having a bad week because they all have similar players?
    About to drop Matt Olson for any one of the Schmohawks listed above.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, not yet, but it does suck

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I would lose Olson btw

    • rhodyballer says:
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      You got greyned out. Your teams had a greynout. Not a rainout. A greynout.

      By my man lives in the land of no rain bc I’ve been League champ since I started razzing it up with his FBL greydar.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        No rain here like Blind Melon sang

  6. scoboticus says:
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    Rizzo vs Hill at Wrigley,
    Cronenworth vs Kikuchi in Safeco,
    Or Evan White vs Paddack in Safeco?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Rizzo, but tough call

  7. Just Asking says:
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    Would you start DJ Stewart over Franmil or Yelich tonight? I am thinking no since Glasnow is pitching for TB

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Nah

  8. Cohen says:
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    Can only start one
    Bassitt home vs SF or
    Sheffield home vs SD ?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Bassitt

  9. rhodyballer says:
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    Play Gleybar over Dansby?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yes

  10. Scrappy says:
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    Still chuckling at some of these lines ten mins after the read.
    Thanks for all the great work Grey.
    Kudos to the staff as well…
    (Scrappy now sad to see the finish line)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks, Scrappy!

      • negatto says:
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        Agree, a crazy season but at least we all could take solace hanging out with this great bunch.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Same!

  11. Southpaw says:
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    With ~2 weeks left in this ‘season’, is it time to drop the likes of Altuve, Alonoso, Teoscar for ‘hot hands’ in a roto league?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, and there’s only ten days left, I think

  12. nightpandas says:
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    Great….my whole team is a sell

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Mine too!

  13. mthom42 says:
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    Drop Bryant? 14 team OPS with 5 keepers. Only would keep if has keeper value after the season

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I don’t think he has keeper value, but I guess depends if you have 5 others

      • mthom42 says:
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        Thanks! Neither do I but maybe someone else does..

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No problem

  14. uncle wighty says:
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    start mountcastle (v glasnow) or jesus aguilar (double header) today?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Aguilar*

      *Edit

  15. rhodyballer says:
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    Walsh over Olson at this point? Riley over Laureano? I could also play Swansby in my UTIL instead. I guess my question is which 2 for next week?

    Thanks for all your help again this season – holding onto 1st again – thanks to you and razzmatazz !!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Walsh and Swanson — good luck!

      • rhodyballer says:
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        Thanks – last one: play Alonso or Olson?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha, neither? Olson, I guess

          • rhodyballer says:
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            Somehow in first after riding with both of these duds all year. Lol.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              I’m doing well in a few leagues with both too

  16. J.T. says:
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    1. Pick one Muncy @ COL (Castellani) or Hiura vs KC (Duffy)

    2. Pick 2: Tatis Jr. @ Kikuchi
    Mondesi @ MIL (Houser)
    Nate Lowe @ BAL (Cobb)
    Stanton @ BOS (Perez)
    Frazier @ Perez

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      1. Muncy

      2. Tatis, Mondesi

  17. fausto

    fausto says:
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    Tough decision in a head to head playoff. 5×5 I should win 4 of the pitching cats. Need 2 hitting. Which bat are you sitting …need max R and RBI…my opponent had an 8hr day yesterday so I dont think I’m taking that cat but its 2020 who tf even knows. Gotta sit 1 of these studs.
    -Eugenio vs CHW(bullpen game it seems)
    -J.Walsh vs TEX (a SP I’ve never heard of)
    -N.Lowe @ BAL(Cobb)
    Or I could play those 3 and sit Olson(vs L.Webb) I cant believe I’m even saying that but that’s where we’re at.
    Thoughts and thanks and hopefully I’ll have at least 1 more week to ask question. I’m checking h-tron now to see what it thinks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Sit Olson

  18. Shallow League Decisions says:
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    Austin Nola since coming over to SD for 12 games – 6/2/8/.220

    Sal Perez has been raking. For the stretch run would you drop Nola for Perez?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, go Perez

  19. scoboticus says:
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    Hicks vs. Perez at Fenway,
    Rosario vs. Hendricks at Wrigely,
    Schwarber vs Hill at Wrigley.

    Who is the odd man out?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Schwarber

  20. E says:
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    Last week of roto (first season not doing h2h). At catcher. Just dropped Yadi for Sean Murphy. I like Yadi’s games, but he hasn’t been hitting. Alfaro also available. Keep Murphy or go back and get Yadi or go with Alfaro? Decently split between the three given matchups and number of games played.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d go Murphy

  21. scoboticus says:
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    Grey, I’m going to miss you during football season

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Aw I’ll miss you too!

  22. Primetime says:
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    Grey.

    Where ya at with Carter Kieboom next season? Robles and him were a complete mess.

    Sleeper 2021 ??

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Sleeper but not until like 250 overall

      • Primetime says:
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        Riley or kieboom next year?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Riley

  23. Stephen Lyon says:
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    Trying to choose between Verdugo and Calhoun today. The Tron says Verdugo by a mile, but if I need some RBIs I’ve got to Kole, right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Kole

      • Stephen Lyon says:
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        KOLE

        • Stephen Lyon says:
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          OLSON

          • Stephen Lyon says:
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            KOLE

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              So hot!

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Can’t believe he actually did anything

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Calhoun!

          • Stephen Lyon says:
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            Starting Justus anywhere today? SON has gone a bit cold on him since yesterday.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              I am

              • Stephen Lyon says:
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                I picked him up too. My opponent is starting Gausman so I’ll see how he goes before deciding on Justus. Def starting Heaney.

                Benched Kikuchi yesterday at the last minute. Took a few innings to be glad I did :-)

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Yeah, no faith in Kikuchi

                  • Stephen Lyon says:
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                    Blech. QS for Gausman. Frowning emoji.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I own him so can’t frown too much

  24. dontbichetteme says:
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    you guys like Lourdes over Cronenworth in a keeper league? At least for the last week?

    Also would you start
    Grisham @ Kikuchi(SEA) although im pretty sure they are playing in SD
    Tucker vs Gallen(ARI)
    Grisham isnt great vs LHPs but Gallen is Gallen

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Lourdes over him in a keeper

      Grisham

  25. Gary Z says:
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    Good read today Grey! Walsh got snagged before I could hit add, literally 5 seconds before… oh well, would you start Paddack tonight?

    Thanks for another great year, Razzball is the best fantasy sight hands down!!

    Looking to go B2B!!

    Thanks again,

    -gary z

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks! I’m starting Paddack, have no faith in him — appreciate you!

      • Gary Z says:
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        Thanks brother, have a great weekend!!

        -gary z

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          You too, gary z!

  26. LenFuego says:
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    I just about choked laughing at the “Keanu, ‘Whoa!'” line.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha

  27. scoboticus says:
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    HR to the Calhoun!!!

    • scoboticus says:
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      Kole is hot. Dur!!!

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        So hot!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Guy gets smoking!

  28. Dave D says:
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    Walsh “ was the first player to have a run and an RBI in nine straight games since Chase Utley in 2008.“ Maybe he’s AAAA, maybe he’s legit. Either way that is an impressive accomplishment. He single handedly raised me from 7th to 6th place in one league afterall. Woohoo.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha, nice! I haven’t seen much of him since I’m blacked out but his stats aren’t saying total fluke

      • Dave D says:
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        Basically once he started getting regular starts/at-bats in September he started hitting like he did in AAA. His approach is good. Drives the ball too. I lean towards him being a legit late bloomer. Id trust him more than Brinson at this point.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, I just don’t get how he went from a 25-8% K% guy in minors to this in the majors, makes me a little wary for future

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Power looks real tho

  29. Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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    Apparently Gonzalez has a 2 start week next week thanks to a doubleheader next saturday (v HOU + on the last day of the season @OAK, so maybe he faces the A’s B team?).

    Anyway, I’m chasing Wins that don’t totally kill ratios. Which 2 guys from the below do you BENCH?

    MGoz – (the 2 starts above against Cullers and TBD)

    Ryu – 1 start v healthy Yankees (but Happ pitching)

    Snell – 1 start v Mets (Lugo pitching. snell rocks but they aren’t letting Snell go deep for whatever reason)

    McKenzie – 1 v CWS (Keutchel)

    Gausman – 1 v COL (chi chi Gonzales). Would only consider him here if he looks healthy today.

    Thanks again!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      McKenzie, Gausman

      • Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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        Thanks!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No problem

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      A few years ago I saw him in Wendy’s eating with his mom and it was the saddest thing I ever saw

      • Wake Up says:
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        Goats learned to like the ivy because the sheep ate all the rest…

        They also gave us coffee…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          That’s the sound of the police

  30. DonnieB says:
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    For the rest of this season and for keeper leagues, how are you ranking:
    Walsh,Hayes, Franco, Dalbec. This year and best keeper? Thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Dalbec, Walsh

  31. Will says:
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    LOL, after “rehabbing” all this time Verlander now says he’s having TJ surgery. Pretty sure you called it, Grey

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, of course…Wait for the rehabbing-for-12-months Ken Giles

      • Mordacious Levator says:
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        and osuna, who apparently today is throwing again. these guys are hilarious. even when that torn tendon is sticking right in their faces just ignore ignore till it’s 1-15 months later.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, the players don’t want to shut it down for 2 years, so it’s up to the teams to tell them

          • Mordacious Levator says:
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            wouldn’t it be neat if they had like, trying to invent the term here apparently…. sports doctors. who would be doctors JUST for athletes, they could even have ones that would specialize in certain type of sports. here a baseball sports doctor would tell these players that a torn elbow tendon doesn’t almost ever heal on it’s own. and then they could do something like show the stats of all the TJ guys VS the guys who thought playing with that torn elbow tendon would produce good stats, assuming somebody could create these specialized doctors. would probably have to have an assistant to the sports doctor, a logician.

  32. Smitty says:
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    Gettin down to it, wondering what you think about 2 of my home league (5X5) players for next week. Both N. Cruz and Buxton have only 5 games scheduled and trying to decide on weather or not to replace them.
    Available guys I’m considering A. Hicks, W. Calhoun, Encarnacion are set for 7, while K. Calhoun and N. Lowe are set for 6. Been riding my originals throughout season, but 1 point separates 1st & 2nd making every stat golden. Would you go with Bux and Nelly for 5 each or replace with any of these guys?
    Sweating our DC as well! Haha – thanks Grey!

    • For An Armenianless Vacation Come to Akron says:
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      rather have guys doing that well even at one or 2 less days than the ones you listed available. if you are dropping people to get 1-2 extra days i’d definitely wait till the day they don’t play in any event to drop.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’m going to catch you in the DC! Now I’ve either jinxed you, me or both of us!

      I’d try W. Calhoun and K Calhoun over both

  33. For An Armenianless Vacation Come to Akron says:
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    semi finals h2h win here and it’s some sort of money time. got y.gurriel (not good for a while) and yaz hurt. yaz i don’t have to do anything about yet (he’s in the lone BN slot now). gurriel drop for
    walsh (but @ lynn today, cody and bullpen tomorrow)
    n.lowe (@ j.lopez and means tomorrow)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Walsh

  34. TarmanGotHim says:
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    Can’t believe I’m asking this.

    1) Would you rather own Rizzo or Nate Lowe for the last 9 days of the season?

    2) Would you continue to start Swanson or bench until he picks it up (9 days left)?

    3) Would you pick up May for his 2 start week next week week?

    4) Would you stream Lindbolm against KC tomorrow?

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      1. Lowe
      2. Start
      3. Yes
      4. Yes

      • TarmanGotHim says:
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        Thanks!!

        Pablo Lopez is throwing 5+ strikes per batter but unfortunately the umpires are incompetent. You watching this? He struck out Carter Keiboom twice over again. The Umps are almost as bad as MMA Judges.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, I’m watching…so frustrating

          • TarmanGotHim says:
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            I’ll take that line nonetheless. Thanks for the suggestions!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              No problem

  35. FrankGrimes says:
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    Will Smith sitting again in Coors tonight smh

    • For An Armenianless Vacation Come to Akron says:
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      he at least used to have an easy to know schedule (every other day off). now it’s just weird.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ugh

  36. Stephen Lyon says:
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    KOLE.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yup!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Sorry YUP

      • Stephen Lyon says:
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        Justus is THE MAN.

        • frankgrimes says:
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          Son of a bench!

          • Stephen Lyon says:
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            Grimey!

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Grimey!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Not bad!

          • Stephen Lyon says:
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            Honourable mention for Heaney too. A QS after giving up 3 in the first is a pretty decent effort.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Yeah turned out ok

              • Stephen Lyon says:
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                Just going to humble brag a QS from Yarborough in Baltimore too ;-)

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Nice!

  37. TarmanGotHim says:
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    For the final week, would you stream Marco Gonzales and Brady Singer for their 2 start week?

    I know HOU for Marco is risky but what do you think?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I would stream both

  38. Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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    Hey Grey! In a keeper league, would you rather have a $4 Clint Frazier or a $24 Luis Robert?

    I’m wondering if Robert’s cold finish and potential sub-.240 on the season average will help drive his draft price down next year so that maybe I can redraft him for less than his $24 Keeper price.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      That makes sense if you can redraft him for near $24

      • Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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        Thanks – yea, I drafted him for $21 this year.

      • Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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        Thanks – yea, I drafted him for $21 this year. I still want him on every team next year, but I think the low average and bad finish will keep his price at or below where I drafted him at the height of his preseason hype.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Prolly still go for ~$25, would be my guess, but not much value there

          • Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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            Makes sense. Yea, feels like market value or so. And with white Sox facing 4 CLE aces and darvish in the final week, I could see Robert getting below .230, which would be great for drafting him next year !

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Haha, yup

  39. Stephen Lyon says:
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    Probably should take Cueto for a spin at home vs COL tomorrow, right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yup

      • Stephen Lyon says:
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        For the fourth year running, your correspondent will compete for the ol’ H2H title. Going for the three-peat…

  40. Primetime says:
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    Grey, where you have Nick Madrigl ranked for 2b next season. ?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Tough one, I’d think around 10th maybe

      • Primetime says:
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        Thanks! Just trying to get a handle on players available this year on waivers since we don’t have a draft next year.

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