Yesterday, James Kaprielian went 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.53, and it’s time to dig in. Luckily, I watched him since it was an afternoon game. Looks like his sum is greater than his parts. Like a Honda. Ya know, no one ever talks about parts being better than a whole, which is always more likely. Like Tenet. Like The Irishman. Like a seven-course dinner anywhere. Amuse bouche? I’ll amuse you! Apps? Perhaps! Entree? Entry into my mouth! Cheese course? Okay, eff off. Mid-dinner sorbet to cleanse my palate? No, just bring me the damn dessert! So, Kaprielian appears to have a home run problem, but the Colossal-seum will help with that, and facing the M’s didn’t hurt. The command will be low 3-ish BB/9 with a 8.7-9.1 K/9. That’s roughly a high-3 to low 4 ERA with neutral luck, and a Streamonator call. Whispers softly, “He’s a mediOAKer starter.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
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When I saw Jarren Duran running from 2nd to home the other day in a minor league game, I thought to myself, with a trademark stammer, “This Duran…Duran looks like he could come undone.” With rookies, sometimes it’s like I’m on a ride and I want to get off, but Duran…Duran won’t slow down the roundabout. The instincts, the…the reflex. The reflex! I’m pleading with the Red Sox, “Why don’t you use him?” While hoping Duran…Duran stays healthy and does not bruise it. The reflex! Are they buying time? Don’t lose it, Red Sox, you have the lead. Have you seen him, girls? On film? He’s wild, boys. Wild, boys. Wild, boys. Wild, boys. By not calling up prospects, are they trying to break us? Looks like they’ll try again. Luckily, wild boys never lose it. I need prospects, and I’m hungry like a wolf! Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo–Okay, enough with 80’s on 8. Shut off that classic MTV. With Jarred Kelenic up, the next Jarr is Jarren Duran, and I’m gonna be singing Chingy, “Right Jarr, right Jarr.” Jarren Duran is so gee-dee fast. Not sure if you’ve seen him yet, but I watched him for the first time last week and was like, “If this guy doesn’t hit .230, he will be a top 50 fantasy contributor for a handful of years.” He’s got easy 30 steal speed, and if the Red Sox push him, and he hits well, he could steal 45+. He looks like Treat Urner when he first came up, i.e., not a ton of power, but it’s not a huge knock, he’ll give a few knocks. The Red Sox need an arm more than a bat, but it’s just silly for them to keep Duran down in the minors much longer. He’s immediately better than Enrique Hernandez or whoever they have at leadoff right now. I’d grab him in every league to stash. He’s wild, boys. Wild, boys. Wild, boys. Wild, boys! Anyway, here’s more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Close your extraneous browser windows right now–Not this one! This is not extraneous. How dare you, sir. Okay, now that the other browser windows are closed, open your fantasy team window. The team that’s hurting for offense and wouldn’t mind a top 10 outfielder. Yes, that team. Great, now go to waivers–Are you signed in? God damn it! Sign yourself in! Your password is Belle&Sebastian#1Fan. Okay, now that you’re signed in, go to waivers and grab Jarred Kelenic, he’s being promoted this Thursday. So, what to expect? Everything? Does that work for you? He’s already a 1st ballot “I can’t believe the Mets traded him away” Guy and he hasn’t played one MLB game. He could be 25/10/.290 this year. That obviously might be pie-in-the-sky-hopes, but that’s what we’re looking at in the range of possibilities. That’s otherwise known as “What you would’ve gave Haniger’s left nut to get from George Springer.” Realistically, we might see 17/7/.270. I’ll guess we’ll see, since Kelenic is coming in two days, but who’s counting? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Cleveland Starting Pitcher Factory (housed in a former The Old Spaghetti Factory) made its mark by producing low-priced alternatives that reduced meatball consumption. You might remember the host, Giuseppe, from the Dominican Republic, always mentioned his father loved “The Godfather.” Well, there’s another low-priced starter conveyor belt spitting out alternatives with nasty stuff, The Tampa Bay Rays Starting Pitcher Factory, which is in the back alley behind one of the 29 local-area Hooter’s ristorantes. The workers/coaches all wear hosiery, and manage to produce one fine-ass starter after another. Today’s starter was Shane McClanahan (4 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks), and excuse me while I put my eyes back in my head. His 92 MPH slider alone was like, “I’ll have some cheese, and the check please.” He partnered that pitch with a 101 MPH fastball, and I looked to grab him in every league. Honestly, I hadn’t seen stuff like that in some time from a prospect. I’d think of him like Michael Kopech. Solid handful of innings, who is rosterable in all leagues, but don’t drop anyone too valuable. The big concern for McClanahan is sometimes he losses the feel and the plate, so he could be prone to roofies, but I don’t put on hosiery and walk into a back alley of a Hooter’s asking for a factory tour for nothing. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
My old boss used to have a sign in her office that read “If you failed to prepare, prepare to fail.” This quote also applies to fantasy bullpen management. At a moment’s notice, your top closer can find himself on the outs and you’ve got to adjust!
I’m going to take a look at some of the closers who have been disasters so far and help you prepare if the worst is to happen! And I’ll be doing it with the Department of Homeland Security color warning level system!
Blue: Nothing to see here.
Green: Maybe something to see here.
Yellowing: I’m definitely seeing something here.
Orange: What am I seeing here?!
Red: Oh god, my eyes!Please, blog, may I have some more?
I will be wrong! I realize that this a very odd way to start a “suggestive” article, but it’s entirely true. I will be wrong this week, as I have been wrong the past 3 weeks. What is beautiful about this statement? The mere fact that while I may be wrong, there are going to be things that I get correct as well. Who is 2nd in the MLB at the time of writing? Mark Canha, yes, the very same Mark Canha who back in Week 1 I recommended picking up for runs. Injures shoulder patting self on back. Maybe this is how Juan Soto hurt his shoulder? With my shoulder now injured, and a trip to the IL imminent, good ole Grey has summoned me back into the on-deck circle for another AB. This time, I look at you Jay Bruce…..my shoulder is very safe from any pats on the back. He retired for crying out loud. The article giveth, and the article taketh.
What does all of this mean? What it means is that while I want to just give you all the info needed, I would love more than anything to teach you why these suggestions make sense on a week in and week out basis. You may see some redundant names here and there, but all in all, let’s find the competitive edge and dominate another week of Head to Head. Without further ado, here is Week 4.Please, blog, may I have some more?
*counting puffs of smoke out of a chimney* “One…two…Mama mia! It’s two puffs-a smoke-a!” An Italian boy rides his bike through The Vatican, swerving around bishops, priests and nuns. Finally, the Italian boy skids to a stop, tosses his bike down and runs into a chapel. Inside, he runs up to the altar, where a priest wears a DraftKings cap. “Father, they held the Cardinals to two hits?” “Holy See……….t!” There’s about 40 top twenty starters. Does that mean there’s 40 top 20 starters? Not exactly. There’s 40 starters who could sneak into the top 20 starter conversation. Then there’s about 20 starters who could sneak into the top 10 starter conversation. Then there’s about ten starters who could be a top five starter. Finally, there’s about five starters who could be the top starter. Aaron Nola is in that last group. Yesterday, Aaron Nola went 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.19, solidifying himself as a 10+ K/9, 1-something BB/9 ace. Holy See……….t, indeed. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Another doozy of a week. I don’t know what it is about this year, but hamstrings and shoulders are DOOMED. Feels like 90% of the injuries I keep getting updates about are “hamstring tightness” or “pulled up lame” or “sore shoulder” or “shoulder inflammation.” Ugh.
If by some stroke of insane luck you’ve managed to avoid injury to this point, no doubt this week the fantasy baseball gods deemed you unworthy after all. I told you in the title that I had bad news. Well, let’s get to it:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The best haircut I ever received was from a bald man. I don’t usually get anything fancy — just a trim here, a buzz there. Throughout my life I went through all the same generational hair trends of men currently in their mid-30’s. As a pre-schooler in the early-90’s my Mom spiked my hair straight up a la Bart Simpson because who was cooler than the Bart man? Then in the mid-90’s, I transitioned to the Jonathan Taylor Thomas Home Improvement middle part because all the girls thought he was so cute. In the early 2000’s I jumped on board the ‘Caesar’ bandwagon popularized by George Clooney in his ER/From Dusk Till Dawn days and that’s pretty much where I’ve remained. Low maintenance, good enough, it was “The Rachel” for men! Back to the point of this story — the bald man. Who better to appreciate hair than a bald man? I got out of his chair looking like a million bucks and the bald man was proud of his work.
What does this have to do with fantasy baseball, you ask? In my 14-team home league, I’m punting saves. Correction — I’m punting saves + holds.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s unlikely you haven’t already heard, but ICYMI: esteemed national baseball writer Boob Nightenfail tweeted Thursday evening that the Mets had a done deal with Trevor Bauer. Then not even like five minutes later, all the cool kids tweeted how this, in fact, was untrue. Fast forward less than 24 hours later and Bauer signed a deal with Dodgers, along with some dumb hype video I haven’t yet and never will bother to watch. I’m just glad all of this is over, because I am so over Trevor Bauer. I hope he goes back to being the mediocre pitcher he’s always been. He’s jack diddly without pine tar, and that’s a fact!
Oh, Boob. Thanks for the laugh! As for the rest, here’s the best:Please, blog, may I have some more?
SAGNOF has a new Daddy! Or I guess technically Step-Daddy — this will always be Grey’s baby. That’s right — this year I’ll be slipping into those SAGNOF slippers each week to tell you who will be doing the saving and who will be doing the stealing!
“So like good guys and bad guys?” asks my wife as I explain to her what I’m writing about this year.
*Sigh* “Yes…like good guys and bad guys…” I wept.
Let’s get this SAGNOF off to a great jump-off. Lo! Below are my top-30 closer rankings!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Someone had his white Vans on! Daniel Ponce de Leon had another strong start Friday night pitching 6.1 innings allowing just three base runners (1 hit, 2 BB) and one run while striking out six for his first win of 2020. He had a no-hitter going through the first six innings until an Orlando Garcia home run, the only hit he surrendered, ruined his bid. Damn Daniel, 2016 called–they want their meme back. I touched on PDL (can I call him PDL? sounds like a bad light beer) last week and concluded he was too risky to touch, but his 3.15 ERA, 0.95 WHIP and 28/6 K/BB in September tell me something has definitely clicked. Considering he was rocking a 7+ ERA at the start of the month that gives you a sense of the strides he’s made in just a few short weeks. Perhaps he discovered the dot, dot, dot…fountain of youth? I’m sorry! I had to. Regardless the win was his first as a starting pitcher in 20 tries–that’s right 20! And yes, that is the record, albeit a fairly depressing record to hold. Maybe its these Brewers’ hitters, who he’s struck out 15 times this month to pad his 12.6 k/9 in 20 IP in September, or maybe it was finally getting the run support he needed (Cards scored zero runs for him in half his starts this year). More likely he started consistently locating his elevating fastball which allowed him to mix in breaking balls and keep opposing hitters off balance. Whatever it has been, his 4.96 ERA and 1.32 WHIP don’t tell the full story here. I’m going to choose to believe his 31.5 K% and .221 BABIP are more indicators of the pitcher DPdL is and he’s a player I’ll be keeping a very close eye on this postseason even if he’s just pitching in a middle relief role. So grab your white Vans and make sure they’re cleaner than the “WAP” radio edit because I’m telling you Daniel Ponce de Leon could be a a 2021 sleeper to watch!
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?