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Howdy, folks.

It’s unlikely you haven’t already heard, but ICYMI: esteemed national baseball writer Boob Nightenfail tweeted Thursday evening that the Mets had a done deal with Trevor Bauer. Then not even like five minutes later, all the cool kids tweeted how this, in fact, was untrue. Fast forward less than 24 hours later and Bauer signed a deal with Dodgers, along with some dumb hype video I haven’t yet and never will bother to watch. I’m just glad all of this is over, because I am so over Trevor Bauer. I hope he goes back to being the mediocre pitcher he’s always been. He’s jack diddly without pine tar, and that’s a fact!

Oh, Boob. Thanks for the laugh! As for the rest, here’s the best:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

SAGNOF has a new Daddy! Or I guess technically Step-Daddy — this will always be Grey’s baby. That’s right — this year I’ll be slipping into those SAGNOF slippers each week to tell you who will be doing the saving and who will be doing the stealing! 

“So like good guys and bad guys?” asks my wife as I explain to her what I’m writing about this year. 

*Sigh* “Yes…like good guys and bad guys…” I wept.

Let’s get this SAGNOF off to a great jump-off. Lo! Below are my top-30 closer rankings! 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Someone had his white Vans on! Daniel Ponce de Leon had another strong start Friday night pitching 6.1 innings allowing just three base runners (1 hit, 2 BB) and one run while striking out six for his first win of 2020. He had a no-hitter going through the first six innings until an Orlando Garcia home run, the only hit he surrendered, ruined his bid. Damn Daniel, 2016 called–they want their meme back. I touched on PDL (can I call him PDL? sounds like a bad light beer) last week and concluded he was too risky to touch, but his 3.15 ERA, 0.95 WHIP and 28/6 K/BB in September tell me something has definitely clicked. Considering he was rocking a 7+ ERA at the start of the month that gives you a sense of the strides he’s made in just a few short weeks. Perhaps he discovered the dot, dot, dot…fountain of youth? I’m sorry! I had to. Regardless the win was his first as a starting pitcher in 20 tries–that’s right 20! And yes, that is the record, albeit a fairly depressing record to hold. Maybe its these Brewers’ hitters, who he’s struck out 15 times this month to pad his 12.6 k/9 in 20 IP in September, or maybe it was finally getting the run support he needed (Cards scored zero runs for him in half his starts this year). More likely he started consistently locating his elevating fastball which allowed him to mix in breaking balls and keep opposing hitters off balance. Whatever it has been, his 4.96 ERA and 1.32 WHIP don’t tell the full story here. I’m going to choose to believe his 31.5 K% and .221 BABIP are more indicators of the pitcher DPdL is and he’s a player I’ll be keeping a very close eye on this postseason even if he’s just pitching in a middle relief role. So grab your white Vans and make sure they’re cleaner than the “WAP” radio edit because I’m telling you Daniel Ponce de Leon could be a a 2021 sleeper to watch!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is the end. Beautiful friend, the end. We’re at the end of our 60 game sprint and I hope this finds you in the championship game. This is going to be a tough week to sift through to find viable streamers – both hitters and pitchers – that also have something to play for. Let’s start with Mr. Happy himself, Drew Smyly (3% ESPN, 9% CBS). The Giants lefty has thrown 16 innings and has posted an eye-popping 39.1% strikeout rate. Granted, he’s only gone a max of 4 IP in any start so far, but Smyly should help out in strikeouts and ratios. The Giants are still in the playoff fight and get a matchup at home against the Rockies tonight. Colorado currently has a 1.7% chance of making the playoffs according to ESPN and just placed slugger Nolan Arenado on the IL with a shoulder injury. Over the last 14 days, the Rockies have posted a team wOBA of .286 against lefties. During that time they’ve walked just 1.3% of the time. Check that out. Over 155 plate appearances against left-handed pitching, they’ve walked just 2 times. There might be one more play against the Rockies, but we’ll get to that soon. Let’s take a look at some other under the radar options to help you win your fantasy championship.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Folks, this is all she wrote. The fantasy baseball season is entering its final week. What a wild ride it’s been, eh? In a way, it doesn’t even feel like it actually happened. I mean, normally, by Week 9 we’re talking about who’s for real and who isn’t for real, which slumping superstar is primed to bounce back and carry your team the rest of the way, whatever. But now we’re already bidding farewell.

I think for my next piece I’m going to put together a 2020 Waiver Wire All-Star team. Take a standard Yahoo lineup format and fill it with waiver gems. So be on the lookout for that!

For this week, it’s gonna stay in line with how last week looked. More names to look at (with some repeats from previous weeks) and my quick thoughts on each.

It’s been a pleasure writing these up for you every week! Hope they’ve been helpful to some of you. My apologies if not. I blame 2020, in that case.

Let’s do it to it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Rookie Alec Bohm continued his explosive September Friday night going two for three with a run and an RBI in game one and one for three with a run and his first career steal in the second game. Oh my, did he just steal a base! *swoons* Alec’s underwhelming power to start his career has made it hard on hilarious jokesters like myself who just want to pun all day and improv all night. No bombs for Bohm? What about a nice lip balm? Does that work? Fret not, Bohm-dot-com has picked it up lately with two Bohm-bombs in the past week. So maybe Alec is more of an opposite field contact guy than a  ding dong dinger guy? Or maybe it’s his first year in the league and once he adjusts he’ll be a monster and yes I’m absolutely going to draft him everywhere in 2021? Melikes the latter one most. His manager thinks he’s a future 40 home run hitter and Gabe Kapler seems to know exactly what’s up. *hard cough* But forget about the power for a sec, Alec has multi-hit games in nine of his last 20 starts, and has hit safely in all but two games this month. He’s slashing .359/.400/.551 with three Bohm bombs and 14 RBI in September and that’s no joke! I almost wrote this lede about another scrubby Red Sox prospect, but I didn’t (you’re welcome!) because I noticed Bohm was a BUY and was still criminally under owned at less than 35%! What gives? He should have been scooped up in August. Bohm could be the dot, dot, dot…spark your team needs to dot, dot, dot…explode in your final week of fantasy. I’m sorry, I have t,–and you have to pick up Bohm and win your final week. This kid’s gonna be a star–ha-cha-cha!

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY YESTERDAY ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $5/MONTH.)

You walk into the banquet hall where your cousin, Jared Walsh, is having his bar mitzvah, and the first thing that hits you is the macho-aggressive tones of Kenny Loggins. Kenny shouts at you a question, “Are you gonna wait for a sign, your miracle?” Down by your side, you snap your fingers, and quietly answer, “Stand up and fight.” As if he’s talking directly to you, Kenny’s pulsating voice hits you with another command, “Make no mistake where you are,” and under your breath you quietly respond, “This is it.” Kenny, “Your back’s to the corner.” You slide your back against a wall and louder now, “This is it.” Kenny’s fighting you to be better, “Don’t be a fool anymore.” You, fighting back tears, “This is it.” Then your aunt comes over and asks you if you’re still dating that goy, sees tears streaming down your face and uncomfortably waits for you to compose yourself. Kenny’s back, “The waiting is over,” you run to the stage, but Kenny sings, “No, don’t you run.” Finally, you get to the stage where the deejay has his back to you. All you see is his Orioles’ jersey and his last name Stewart. When he turns to you, you see DJ Stewart, the epitome of cool, and not just because he’s in front of a wind machine. He leans down and says with the wisdom of a great sage, “I’m just a hot schmotato, you’re the real star.” He’s right, of course. That’s all you need for the final ten days. Jared Walsh looks like a Quad-A player, but he’s hitting in front of Mike Trout, and it doesn’t get any better. I’m grabbing Walsh, DJ Stewart and everyone from this bar mitzvah — even you, Aunt Marilyn! Also, everyone is expendable (except Aunt Marilyn, bless her heart). Play only hot hands. You need to play footloose and fancy free with your teams in this final stretch. “Did someone say Footloose?” That’s DJ Stewart readying up the next Kenny Loggins. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Am I recycling a headline pun? Yes. We have two weeks left in the baseball season, are you going to hold it against me? Oh, you are? Fine. I don’t blame you. Just as long as you don’t hold it against me when the closers I offer up gash your ratios. The 2020 season has been very, well 2020-ish in regards to bullpens.

  • Stefan Crichton was the reliever that made sense to get the Diamondbacks closer gig based on performance so of course, they handed it to the struggling Kevin Ginkel. That experiment turned bad quickly enough. Crichton has gotten the call since to earn three straight saves.
  • Ken Giles goes back to the IL just as quickly as he returned from it. That does it for his 2020. Rafael Dolis should stay firmly atop that pen.
  • It appears more is going on with Brandon Workman than Joe Girardi just trying out all his closer options. He came in to a tie game last night and served up a homer and RBI triple. Workman had last appeared in the seventh (of a nine-inning game) and walked two while giving up three hits. Hector Neris has moved back into the closer role but literally dropped the ball in his last appearance, resulting in a balk that led to that runner scoring from second. Something is barking in his kinetic chain if I had to guess.
  • Just when we thought it was safe to go back into the San Francisco waters Gabe Kapler starts getting all Gabe Kaplery. He used Tony Watson to face the bottom of the order in the seventh and went with Sam Selman for the ninth. G’abe la vie.
  • There’s no lack of blown saves for the Cardinals back end options. I really can’t tell you who gets the next crack it. Maybe the just say yolo and try to let Alex Reyes cook in the ninth.
Please, blog, may I have some more?

Two weeks of baseball left, kids!  If you’re still in the thick of things in your fantasy league, congrats — and if you’re not… well, maybe you actually still are, because things can change in a hurry in a 10-week season.  Let’s peruse a few names that may be of interest as we approach the end of the year, particularly to those of us in AL-only, NL-only, and other deep leagues.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Mariners’ outfielder slash infielder slash superhero Dylan Moore continued his onslaught on the MLB Friday night hitting his seventh home run and stealing his 10th base of the year. The 28 year old is now slashing .282/.362/.563 in just 28 games played and is looking like a bonafide fantasy darling. A slam & legs, you say? In Seattle, the slam & legs is served up mid-air at Pike’s Market and must be caught before consuming. Chase it down with piping hot latte from Seattle’s Own (but not ‘Seattle’s Own’) Starbucks, because what goes better with fresh fish besides espresso? Dylan’s got three homers and four steals in the past week! He’s also reached base safely in every game he’s played since the start of September. The steals are why I added him but the homers are why I’m now obsessed with him. Mmmoore. This no-simp September thing is going to be tough. He’s over 50% owned at the time I’m writing this and that number’s going to probably double over the weekend, but I figured you deserved a Dylan Moore lede regardless of ownership percentage and also I couldn’t get that Britney Spears song out of my head. In more important slash concerning news you should know, an anonymous San Francisco Giants’ player (probably not Pablo, definitely not Yaz) tested positive for the COVID Friday which I assume means all Giants games are cancelled for the next 5-7 days so here’s your heads up to find some warm bodies to replace your Giants and Padres this weekend ASAP as possible.  As for Moore, if you still read the late season Razzball posts you know I covered Kyle Lewis in my final post of 2019, so there are some gems to be uncovered in my lazy, late-September musings. Sometimes looking to 2021 is the best plan of action, especially when you know that each post could be your last as there is always risk of the entire Razzball staff contracting COVID and the blog getting shut down for the final two weeks. There’s nothing we could do to prevent, there’s only one straw in the office and the plastic ones are bad for the planet. Anyway! TL;DR Pick up Moore if he’s out there and drop all your Giants except Baby Yaz!

Here’s what else I saw Friday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?