Closers wear many hats, many outfits, and work their way up to that garnered closer spot. Now that Hunter Strickland is there, established and doing work, what will become of him if/when Mark Melancon returns… eventually? Melancon is scheduled for a bullpen session this weekend and he was previously scheduled for a throwing session a few days before, but instead played catch. Was his dad in town and they wanted to reminisce about the days of yore? But back to the guy in the seat in Strickland, him of the plus 9 K/9, 7 saves in 9 chances and .170 BAA. Those are all numbers for a closer that makes you comfy and cuddly in a “set it and forget it” kinda way. Though in all fairness, you should never remove your closer from your starting roster. So how long, or better yet, do we trust that Melancon just walks in like Wooderson from Dazed and Confused with ‘This is the story of the Hurricane’ playing behind and retakes his job? I am leery that he even makes it through his bullpen session. Kinda serious, but… kinda serious. The people that drafted Melancon aren’t losing anything but a DL slot. The people that own Strickland via FAAB or waiver wire pick up deserve him keeping the job. I am fighting for the common man here! The everyday waiver wire warrior. So rooting for Strickland now is a thing, I am going to get some foam fingers made that have some catchy quote on them. So if you are a Strickland owner, it is a firm hold and hope the MM never makes it back. For the Melancon owners… sorry. Hope he falls down and breaks his crown. Closer report, rankings, and musings heading your way. Cheers!
- I have officially removed Kenley Jansen from the salad menu, he is now in the farm fed donkeycorn category. Velocity isn’t back, blew his second save… K’s are down, confidence looks shaky. He basically sounds like the opposite of a hype song by Eminem.
- The Angels Keynan Middleton has hit the 10-day DL opening up the door for everyone with a Halo to try and get a save. Justin Anderson is the sleepy man’s choice. But Scioscia is gonna look like a monkey humping a football with this anyways.
- Corey Knebel is making his way back soon, he started a minor league assignment yesterday. No worries Josh Hader owners, he still has value…but only slightly. And I am slightly being sarcastic. He is on pace for a Mike Marshall-type strikeout season and is on pace for 2 bills of them. Just for annoyance, Jeffress has gotten the last 2 saves.
- I have moved the Astro’s closers up, but without anyone knocking themselves out to take the job they are still a damaged group collectively. Individually would be fantastic.
- Jeurys Familia two blown saves in last 10 games is not good. The Mets overall have not been good from the pen since I wrote about them in Week 2. Curse.
- The Orioles seem to have swayed to O’Day’s direction. You think he is Harry Belafonte’s favorite reliever?
- Sleepy Reliever of the week: Tayron Guerrero. maybe a week too late but last week’s choice of Richard Rodriguez is doing just as nice.
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.
Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.
These guys are the men that make the save market go round. They punch in, punch out. Have the job, no real threat to speak of, and are basically just there to collect great benny’s so they can take care of their crippled brother. Who is only really crippled because he is scared of the sun.
I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Carlos Marmol– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Castro in the head with a pick-off throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.