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Heaney Is A Royal Pain In A Good Way For Once

April 11, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 343 Comments

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Playing fantasy baseball with Andrew Heaney on your team is like getting cozy with a heating pad as you fall asleep, and every five days that heating pad will keep you a perfect 73 degrees, but, once in a while, it will unexpectedly become 212 degrees. At first, you’re having a nightmare where your blood starts boiling, and you sleepwalk out of bed, grab a box of dry pasta from the cabinet and boil the pasta in your blood. That’s once in a while. Not yesterday for Andrew Heaney! Yesterday, Andrew Heaney (5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 8.22) made good on his promise from last year. Maybe he was visited by the Dodgers’ pitching pixies in the pregame to remind him what he was supposed to do. Maybe it was just the better matchup. Whatever it was, it worked. He cut his walks, and showed why he’s so tantalizing with his strikeout rate now up to 14.1 K/9. I’m such a sucker for this guy hopefully I’m not trying to boil fusilli in my blood next time out. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Rasmussen Hides Eggs On Scoreboard

April 10, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 470 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1276562″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%202″ duration=”182″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 2!00:43 Brendan Donovan1:22 Tommy Edman2:08 Jake McCarthy” uploaddate=”2023-04-06″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1276562_th_642e405846199_1680752728.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1276562.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

The crazy analytics that the Rays have that no one else has: Pinpointing what players are good at and reenforcing that some players only do what they’re good at. For unstints, they’ll tell someone like Drew Rasmussen (7 IP, 0 ER, 1hit, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.00) “pitch well,” and only “pitch well.” Crazy, right? Sometimes they’ll say to a hitter, “Hit well.” That has never been done before by a Major League Baseball team. One time they said to Vidal Brujan, “Be terrible,” and what do you know? What did he do? I’m gonna give you one guess here. He was terrible! It’s analytics like this that allow the Rays to save money too. The Rays received a bill from their travel department and were like, “This is way too much money to travel to games,” so they said to Manuel Margot, “Fly the plane,” and that’s what he did. Analytics, that’s what this is. So, I went to look to see if Drew Rasmusen had a sleeper post written by me, but he didn’t. Guess I merely loved him vs. wrote him up. Wanna know how much pitching there is in the majors? Rasmussen has a 2.96 ERA in 243 1/3 IP in his career. Yeah, but you have to draft a top starter. Mmkay. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

It Ain’t No Lie Baby Buy Buy Brice

April 7, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 297 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1276562″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%202″ duration=”182″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 2!00:43 Brendan Donovan1:22 Tommy Edman2:08 Jake McCarthy” uploaddate=”2023-04-06″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1276562_th_642e405846199_1680752728.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1276562.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″] (NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH) The Brewers are a Big But Team. I’m not just talking about their 1st […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Mets Hope Alvy Can Tune Out Their Sorrow and the Pity

April 7, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 205 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1271506″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%201″ duration=”166″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 1! 00:26 Anthony Volpe1:11 Alek Mano1:48 Carlos Rodon” uploaddate=”2023-03-29″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1271506_th_642455e4eb3c5_1680102884.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1271506.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

For once, the Mets’ doctors were used for good instead of evil. They gave Omar Narvaez day-to-day status and that knocked him out for nine weeks. Hey, lucky they didn’t say he was healthy! That might’ve knocked him out for the rest of his career. Here’s a prayer for everyone who the Mets’ doctors give a clean bill of health to. May their memory be a blessing. With this devastating news for Narvaez, I am very heartbrok–Wait a second! That means they’re calling up Francisco Alvarez! Here’s what I’ve said previously, “I’ve heard Francisco Alvarez compared to Wilson Ramos. A) Wilson Ramos had some great years. Okay, one or two. B) Think that’s selling Francisco Alvarez’s bat short. C) There’s no C. If being honest, I was surprised to see Alvarez was so squat, and I don’t mean just behind home plate. He’s a tiny guy, said by someone who is shorter than Francisco Alvarez. Okay, fine, he’s a “tiny guy” by baseball standards. His power does seem completely legit. He looks like a little square mountain that moves around like a Roomba. A very slow Roomba. A Roomba that starts in the living room, and gets to the kitchen three months later. Prospect Itch said, “A rare backstop in that Francisco Alvarez features plus athleticism and foot-speed, Alvarez stands alone atop minor league catcher mountain after Adley Rutschman joined the Orioles. Alvarez generates easy loft from a strong natural uppercut. Also, I’d like to uppercut Grey.” And that’s me quoting me quoting Itch! Our Prospectonator has the projections for every rookie. Before they’re even called up. It’s magic! That magic has Alvarez down for 21/3/.225. That feels low on the average, but about right on the power. If he were to go 21/.240, then he’s a top 10 catcher. Grab him everywhere you need a catcher. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Luzardo Fills Twinkies With Jesus Juice

April 6, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 323 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1271506″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%201″ duration=”166″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 1! 00:26 Anthony Volpe1:11 Alek Mano1:48 Carlos Rodon” uploaddate=”2023-03-29″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1271506_th_642455e4eb3c5_1680102884.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1271506.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

In 2021, Jesus Luzardo (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 0.71) was traded for two months of Starling Marte. This is great, by the way:

Hmm, is it tough to judge? I don’t know, guys. I think that might be one of the easiest trades ever to judge. Especially in 2022. Is Starling Marte still on your Oakland Athletics? Did he help you win a World Series? Is Jesus Luzardo now an ace? Is he no longer on your team? Trying to figure out how hard it is to judge. I guess if you’re no longer paying attention to baseball and just judging Luzardo on what he did for those two months when Marte was on your team, then, maybe, I don’t know, interjection, but I tend to think it was pretty easy to judge then, as well. So, Jesus Luzardo was — you guessed it! — Jesus Luzardo sleeper and he should be on everyone’s team, so you’re welcome! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

O’s Tuning Into Graysonatomy

April 5, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 330 Comments

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Will the Orioles’ front office answer the question why on earth they sent Grayson Rodriguez to the minors for five games? Because that’s got to be one of the biggest boneheaded decisions of the year so far. You can say, “Grayson Rodriguez needed more seasoning.” Okay, maybe, but five games? So, that reason is off the table. Seasoning reasoning? No go! You can say it’s because their staff had an opening after injuries, but you’re just carrying water for idiots. That doesn’t make any sense. They could’ve just went to a 6-man rotation and had him in the rotation. What was five games for? Why did you stress me out by sending him down to the minors for five games? Answer me! Are the O’s really that spiteful towards me? You can say they sent him down because Grayson Rodriguez forgot pants. That’s about the only believable reason. So, we back, baby! I love Grayson Rodriguez and he’s an automatic top 40 starter while he’s on the mound. Will there be some tough outings? Yeah, I suppose, but that could be for anyone. Hello, Andrew Heaney! Grayson Rodriguez is absolutely the real deal. Here’s my Grayson Rodriguez fantasy for more. On a side note, you know you’ve been doing this shizz for a long time when you have people telling you info before it happens. This story came to me first because the Grayson Rodriguez story was broken by our former pod/prospect man, Geoff. Crazy times!

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Giants Feeling Great After A Bottle of KOpechtate

April 4, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 306 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1271506″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%201″ duration=”166″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 1! 00:26 Anthony Volpe1:11 Alek Mano1:48 Carlos Rodon” uploaddate=”2023-03-29″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1271506_th_642455e4eb3c5_1680102884.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1271506.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

There’s no direct evidence that the more handsome a pitcher the more he’s going to screw you over — that we know of. We just haven’t studied it yet! Someone take a ruler and measure the distance between the eyes on Michael Kopech (4 2/3 IP, 7 ER). Now measure the inches on his curve break. Do they match? The golden ratio that is his cheekbones, is that equal to his current 13.50 ERA? This is not eugenics, because we’re doing it for fantasy baseball purposes and not fantasy exterminations. Wonder if Kopech was tipping his pitches, because, while I don’t have a ton of faith in him, that was even bad for the pretty boy. First up, Joc Pederson (1-for-3) hit his 2nd homer. Buckle up! Joc is the type to hit 24 homers in five games, then nothing for three months. Then Mike Yastrzemski (2-for-3, 3 runs, 2 RBIs) hit his 1st homer. Carl’s Jr. Jr. said make the 1st one animal style! Next up, Michael Conforto (2-for-6) hit his 1st homer. More incredibly, Conforto still hasn’t injured himself. Then Thairo Estrada (2-for-4, 2 runs and a slam (1) and legs (2). That’s Thairo Estrada sleeper to you. Hopefully, he’s fine, because he left the game after taking a foul off his leg. Finally, David Villar (2-for-4, 5 RBIs) hit his 1st and 2nd homer, and this sucks. I really need Casey Schmitt to replace this schmohawk. C’mon, Villar ill will, do your job! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Hot Springs Not A Hit For Vacationing Tigers

April 3, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 477 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1271506″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%201″ duration=”166″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 1! 00:26 Anthony Volpe1:11 Alek Mano1:48 Carlos Rodon” uploaddate=”2023-03-29″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1271506_th_642455e4eb3c5_1680102884.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1271506.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

What’s up, Razzball Nation? Welcome back to Overreaction Time with Grey Albright! Did you see Trayce Thompson and C.J. Cron led the league in homers? Wow, they’re better than Babe Ruth and Aaron Judge combined. Call them Abe Juth! Does it matter that C.J. Cron led the league in homers last April, hit 13 homers through May and didn’t hit as many homers the next three months? No! It doesn’t! Cool! Also, Aaron Civale threw a gem? So, he’s better than Corbin Burnes! Jorge Mateo’s going to steal 70 bases this year? Of course he is! Actually, that’s not sarcasm, he just might. Rob Manfred has remade MLB in his likeness: Someone who steals things and puts other people on the clock. Do your own job, Manfred, and stop stealing from the poor, defenseless, weak-armed catchers!

One guy who I’m not overreacting about when I say he’s an ace is Jeffrey Springs (6 IP, 0 ER, zero hits, 1 walk, 12 Ks). I wrote a Jeffrey Springs sleeper this preseason. I begged people to draft him. Did you? Or did you pretend you were too cool? Or did you draft him but play coy like I wasn’t the reason? I rank those people “Did you,” “Too cool,” “Drafted but played coy.” Those third people are the real issue, like Springs is gonna be for MLB hitters this year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Quench Your Thirst & Buy Some Colas

March 31, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 298 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1271506″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%201″ duration=”166″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 1! 00:26 Anthony Volpe1:11 Alek Mano1:48 Carlos Rodon” uploaddate=”2023-03-29″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1271506_th_642455e4eb3c5_1680102884.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1271506.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

*nudges the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, and it doesn’t move* “Oh my God, the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell is dead!”
“I’m not dead, you idiot. I’m hungover. Could you please stop screaming?”
“Woo hoo! The Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell is alive!”
“Jesus Christ.”

So, welcome back to another Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, or as I like to call it, “Pick up this player in your league if he’s available because he’s rostered in less than 50% of leagues, but only if you’re carrying a player who is worse than him” and “Trade away this player who is rostered in more than 50% of leagues, but only if you’re getting a fair price.” You can see why I went with Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell instead.

Our first fantasy baseball lede buy is coming to you straight from a little area of my brain labeled, “Only Think About Wonderful In This Area.” What, you don’t label parts of your brain? Oh, too bad. I took a seminar on memory at a Ramada Inn in Parsippany, New Jersey, where I learned this. That and don’t bite into a donut and put it back on the tray. Those are the only two things I remember from that seminar. So, now it’s time to get down to business…Crap, are you thirsty? I feel so parched. Like I just traveled through the desert on camel while smoking a pack of Camels. Just let me get a drink and then we will start up. Inserts seven quarters into a soda machine, while deciding between Jimmy Sprite and this other guy. Finally, I select Oscar Colas. Then, I listen for the clink of the can down the chute, then remove Colas from the slot. Feeling the heft in my hand and I crack him open to the wonderfully pleasant sound of ahhhhh. Sips a little at first, as I go over his minor league numbers: 14 homers in Double-A; two homers in Triple-A in only seven games with a steal; hit .306 in Double-A and .387 in that week in AAA; reads what Itch has to say, “He hit 23 home runs in 127 games across three levels last year, batting above .300 at every stop. Chicago has been tough on hitters the past few seasons, but Colas has enough thump to threaten 20-plus bombs if he gets the gig early, and I’d like to thump Grey with my fist.” Wow, what a soda machine this is! Oscar Colas got the job, and I’m all-in on him until we see him actually struggle somewhere, because we have not seen that once. I need Colas everywhere and so should you. Stay thirsty, my friends, and remember, Andrew Benintendi is the un-Colas. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Reminder To Reset Your Clocks To Roster Management Obsession From Draft Obsession

March 31, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 213 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1271506″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%201″ duration=”166″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for Fantasy Baseball Week 1! 00:26 Anthony Volpe1:11 Alek Mano1:48 Carlos Rodon” uploaddate=”2023-03-29″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1271506_th_642455e4eb3c5_1680102884.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1271506.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

*digs nose into an open field of grass, lifts head, eyes filled with tears* This smells of my youth!

Passerby, “My dog just peed there, so probably smells of youth because you used to wet yourself.”

Baseball is back.

“Hello, Genie, I have three wishes for this baseball season. My first wish: No one I roster get hurt. My 2nd wish: Everyone I roster do well. I drafted Oneil Cruz everywhere so, really, I’m doing much of the heavy lifting for this wish. My 3rd and final wish: All 3rd base coaches send runners home by doing the Moonwalk. Thanking you in advance, Genie. Wait a second, you’re not a genie, you’re Bartolo Colon in Blue Man Group paint. Damn you!”

Welcome back to another season of baseball! This one won’t be like a lot of the ones in the past few decades or so, because singles up the middle are back, and the pitch clock. Can’t believe how little jock scratching is in baseball with this pitch clock. Baseball has gone woke! Bring back the slow, intimate groin adjustments that baseball was once famous for!

So, I’m glad I didn’t waste a wish on trying to keep Mets healthy, because that was never happening. Justin Verlander hit the IL with a low-grade teres major strain. Triston McKenzie just had one of these and now we have another? How many major strains are we getting this year? Wait a second, Rob Manfred didn’t make some sorta deal with a dispensary and this major strain is a tie-in, right? With Verlander out, I’d go ahead and grab Tylor Megill, and let’s hope he’s as good as previous seasons for Ks (9.9 K/9) and command (2.6 BB/9). Don’t be Slippin’ Megill! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

NFBC Main Event: The All-Asian Team

March 30, 2023 | Featured, Our Leagues | 250 Comments

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Donkey Teeth and I drafted this past weekend in Vegas for the NFBC Main Event, and we had one plan — no plans! But, see, Donkey Teeth heard no “pants.” Well, that aside, we were back at it after our, I wanna say, 10th place finish last year. I blocked it out after the 2nd month of rostering Jose Berrios. Hey, Jose, buy me a drink first before screwing me! Never the hoo! Donkey and I never let a little thing like “doing well” stopping us from plopping down seventeen-hundred smackeroos and taking on the best the industry has to offer. Here we are five minutes after sitting down and realizing we the only ones making this a Draftquiri Happy Hour.

For those unfamiliar, it’s a 15-team, two-catcher, 5×5, 30-round league. There’s an overall prize of a lot of money and a big-but-slightly-smaller league prize, but let’s win the league first before worrying about that. There’s a $1000 FAAB for waivers in-season, and no pre-draft hypnotism is allowed, which makes me buying that old-timey watch with a long chain fob sorta pointless, but oh well. Anyway, here’s our NFBC Main Event draft recap:

Psyche! Just wanted to announce the Streamonator and Hittertron are running with all of the first weekend projections. LFG100! Anyway II, the draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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