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Padres Putting On Their Big Boy Pants And Going Full Fernando

April 21, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 239 Comments

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There’s a large contingent of people logging on, who are like, so you like Fernando Tatis Jr. (0-for-5) now? I see, so you like cheaters? Let’s call these people, The Moralists. They’ve never done anything bad in their life. Good for them. Better than me, but they’re likely better than everyone. So, hey, The Moralists, I’m sorry, I grew up loving Mark McGwire, you can’t shame me into caring about steroids now. Here’s a conversation between me and The Moralists:

The Moralist, “You see that great player who is very fun?”
“Fernando Tatis Jr.? Yes, I do see him.”
“I don’t like him anymore because he cheated by taking drugs.”
“Oh, so you’re a nerd?!”

People who are like, “So, you’re defending cheating?” I am not Perry Mason. I am merely excited about the return of a guy I drafted in a fantasy baseball league. A guy who is fun. His name is Fun The Jewels for Chrissake! Any hoo! Welcome back, Fun The Jewels, now LFG! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ump Produces Sticky Substance Perusing Skin of Max

April 20, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 319 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1281329″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%203″ duration=”169″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 3!00:39 Jorge Soler1:22 Yandy Diaz2:03 Luis Rengifo ” uploaddate=”2023-04-12″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1281329_th_6436c7df20ec5_1681311711.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1281329.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

Max Scherzer was cruising, as is often the case with Max Scherzer — had a line of 3 IP, 0 ER — when he was ejected for having (what the umpires believed to be) a foreign substance on his glove. Scherzer was screaming, “It’s rosin!” It seemed like the Pitchcom tape inside his glove because he calls his own game. It better — again, with some stank — IT BETTER check out as a foreign substance or all of those umpires should be suspended without pay for thirty games. Umps are power-mad idiots. You throw out a first ballot Hall of Famer for what you believe is something sticky? That’s absurd. You taint his legacy with some utter nonsense? Are you completely daft? Now, MLB instituted an automatic 10-game suspension for the offender, so Scherzer might miss another two starts due to this? Oh, this is some serious BS.

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Dark Days For A’s Receive A Pitcher Of Miller Light

April 19, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 406 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1281329″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%203″ duration=”169″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 3!00:39 Jorge Soler1:22 Yandy Diaz2:03 Luis Rengifo ” uploaddate=”2023-04-12″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1281329_th_6436c7df20ec5_1681311711.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1281329.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

In Prospect Itch’s last news report on Sunday, he said, “Athletics RHP Mason Miller was sitting 100 mph in his Friday night start. He struck out 11 batters over five perfect innings and probably belongs in Oakland’s rotation already. I doubt he’ll get there soon. Always tougher to predict these cases where service time–not skill–is the primary determinant of a prospect’s timeline. If it was up to me, I’d just punch Grey’s face all day.” What on earth? So, Itch is right and wrong. Mason Miller was called up to start today, and it is hard to predict these things. I would’ve also guessed the A’s never call up Mason Miller, because the A’s are playing for a one-way ticket to Vegas. Shows you how much pull the Freemasons really have. *pulls string on conspiracy board* If a Mason is a builder in stone, and the team name is in his name as M-A’s-on, then he’s Gavin Stone on the A’s. Whoa, doggie! So, Miller’s minor league stats are hilarious in a good and bad way. He’s got potential to have a 15+ K/9, and might stay healthy for 15 innings total. Since 2021, he has 28 2/3 IP. Oh…*marches to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro*…kay. He’s worth a flyer, but I wouldn’t expect many innings. Only way Mason Miller’s getting 2 W’s with that team before the All-Star Break is if he’s turned upside down. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Patrick Aggregates Homers And Finds Wisdom Of The Crowds

April 18, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 425 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1281329″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%203″ duration=”169″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 3!00:39 Jorge Soler1:22 Yandy Diaz2:03 Luis Rengifo ” uploaddate=”2023-04-12″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1281329_th_6436c7df20ec5_1681311711.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1281329.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

“Wisdom is knowing when you don’t know. Wisdom is knowing when you do know. Wisdom is not spraying mace on your apple pie when it calls for mace, because that mace they’re talking about is the outside of nutmeg not the shizz that makes your eyes cry during a riot. Wisdom is not saying, “Nutmeg? I barely know her,” every time someone says nutmeg. Wisdom is Patrick Wisdom (3-for-5, 4 RBIs) hitting his 7th and 8th homer, and 4th and 5th homer in the last four games. Looking for a guy who could hit 40 homers (and prolly .210)? That’s true Wisdom…I think, is that what that says?” That’s me reading a fortune cookie’s fortune that is so long that it’s in such a tiny font it’s hard to read. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Fantasy Squeals Like A Pig Over Baty’s Deliverance

April 17, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 466 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1281329″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%203″ duration=”169″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 3!00:39 Jorge Soler1:22 Yandy Diaz2:03 Luis Rengifo ” uploaddate=”2023-04-12″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1281329_th_6436c7df20ec5_1681311711.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1281329.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

Brett Baty was called up, finally!!!*

*It’s only been like two weeks. Aren’t you being a little bit overdramatic with the “finally” and the crazy cartoonish exclamation marks?**

*SHUT UP FOOTNOTE, YOU FREAKIN’ NERD!!!*

*Um, okay, but you’re a footnote too.***

***Sadly, the preceding two footnotes got into a scuffle soon after that exchange, and the cops were called as a postscript.

So, the Mets finally made the move we have all been expecting for the last two weeks, and, honestly, it should’ve been done when they broke camp. The Mets are not a stupid organization. Jinxed? Oh, hecks to the hey! But not dumb. I gave you a Brett Baty fantasy back in November. Nothing’s really changed from that. He’s one of the top callups this year, and should be rostered in all leagues. He could immediately break on the scene and hit 25+ homes and .270. My big question is does Buck bench Eduardo Escobar completely? I don’t think so, but I don’t know. Buck you, Showalter, play Baty! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! So sorry for this weekend and the problems the site’s had. We’ve hired a company to try to alleviate all the issues. Long story short, we were being attacked by bots and they were crashing us repeatedly. We should be good now. If you have issues logging in, you have to clear your browser cache about a month back, then log back in. I know, major pain in the ass. Sorry! Anyway II, the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

I’m Gavin A Party In My Buy Pants

April 14, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 387 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1281329″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%203″ duration=”169″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 3!00:39 Jorge Soler1:22 Yandy Diaz2:03 Luis Rengifo ” uploaddate=”2023-04-12″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1281329_th_6436c7df20ec5_1681311711.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1281329.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

As a fantasy baseball ‘pert, I have a responsibility to give you the most likely to help you lede buy each week. This is not that. This is irresponsible. This is walking into the theater of Razzball and screaming fire, then, as everyone screams and runs out, slowly, and methodically eating everyone’s left-behind popcorn. By the by, what do you call the snacks in the theater when going to see a Kirk Cameron movie with your church group? Left Behind popcorn. Any hoo! I am choosing to be irresponsible because the upside is too great. Gavin Stone needs to be stashed now. You missed out on Kris Bubic? Shucks. You didn’t get Drey Jameson? Oh poo. You failed to acquire Bryce da Elder? Shame on you. Well, you have one more chance (until Brandon Pfaadt is called up). That’s grabbing Gavin Stone. I’m so shocked he hasn’t been called up yet that I thought that between me writing this for the Patreon on Wednesday and posting this on Friday, he might be called up. He’s a 10+ K/9, low-3 BB/9, and the Dodgers’ number two in the making. Here’s what Itch’s said, “(Stone’s) coming off a preposterous season covering three levels with a 1.48 ERA and 1.12 WHIP. Change-up dominant arms with plus command can cruise through the minors and get corrected at the highest level, but Stone has enough fastball and enough slider to tunnel with that killer cambio. Most importantly, he’s a good pitcher. Knows what he’s doing out there. He struck out a lot of guys but realizes you don’t have to strike everyone out. His best skill as a pro has probably been home run suppression, which I tend to think is generally underrated. He’s allowed ten of them in 212.2 professional innings. Ten? I’ve dreamt of punching Grey more times just in the past minute.” What the heck? Grab Stone now, before he skips away. (Clever? Methinks so!) Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Let’s Get It Vaughn

April 14, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 239 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1281329″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%203″ duration=”169″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 3!00:39 Jorge Soler1:22 Yandy Diaz2:03 Luis Rengifo ” uploaddate=”2023-04-12″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1281329_th_6436c7df20ec5_1681311711.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1281329.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

Maybe because Oneil Cruz casts a long shadow — a six-foot, seven-inch shadow — but this week feels especially geared towards replacing him, and there is no replacement, let’s be honest. Orlando Arcia definitely wasn’t replacing him. Orlando sounds like an either or with no right answer. Or…lando Calrissian is the only good that’s coming out of that question. He’s not the answer anyway; Orlando Arcia is hitting the IL with a microfracture in his wrist. Finally, the Braves have room for Ehire Adrianza! “Unless,” Alex Anthopoulos points at the dotted line on the contract that ties Vaughn Grissom up into a standard 14-year deal for $3 million that buys out arbitration years, pre-30 free agent years, and right-of-first-refusal to first-born son. Alex adds, “You have to call your boy, Andruw, in case we want to sign him, because it helps with merchandising.” Okay, yes, grab Vaughn Grissom in your league. He’s coming up! Yes, even that league! I gave you a Vaughn Grissom fantasy back in December, before I knew the Braves were going to play hardball off the field. A key takeaway there was when I said, “Last year in 141 MLB at-bats, (Grissom) hit .291. Maybe the .350 BABIP is a tad high. He’s fast though, so it might not be absurd. His 21.8% strikeout rate at 21 years of age is really the flashing light saying, “Hey, look at this! This is really good!” He didn’t come anywhere close to qualifying, but, if he had, his contact rate on balls in the zone of 89.9% would’ve been top 30 in the majors, around that of Andrew Vaughn (no relation) and Jeff McNeil. His strikeout rates in the minors were incredibly good, hovering between 11% and 14% depending on the stop in pro ball. He’s a guy you’re going to love to have in fantasy, and the Braves will because he’s going to keep getting on base.” And that’s me quoting me and totally misreading the Braves! But he’s here’s now and should be on your teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jarred Is Putting On A Kelenic

April 13, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 273 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1276562″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%202″ duration=”182″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 2!00:43 Brendan Donovan1:22 Tommy Edman2:08 Jake McCarthy” uploaddate=”2023-04-06″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1276562_th_642e405846199_1680752728.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1276562.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

Yesterday, Jarred Kelenic (2-for-4) hit his 3rd homer in three games. Sonavabench x 3! Incredible! This is shaping up to be the worst sonavabenching in the history of sonavabenchings. Kelenic does something for the first time in three years and he’s on my bench! Why is this my life? This home run went 482 feet! That’s almost 147 meters! That’s the longest homer in Wrigley in the Statcast era. Could the breakout be happening? Is this the gorgeous we were once promised? Is this like watching the plastic bag in American Beauty? To me, it’s slightly comical that Jarred Kelenic is being labeled as “THE BREAKOUT IS HERE” while in the exact same game Cody Bellinger (2-for-3, 2 RBIs) hit his 2nd home run and it’s like, “Meh, whatever. He can eat a D.” For those who are thinking, “Yeah, okay, you’re handsome and all, but Kelenic is hitting .351 and Cody Bellinger is hitting .238.” Kelenic is hitting .351 in 37 ABs. Difference between him and Cody is about four hits. He has a 44% Whiff rate on breaking pitches, and a 40% whiff rate on offspeed pitches. I want the Kelenic breakout as much as anyone (hopefully it can start next Monday, though), just trying to put an ounce of realism here in our fantasy. Like when Penelope Cruz is still bored in your dreams when you talk about your fantasy teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Guten Taj

April 12, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 366 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1276562″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%202″ duration=”182″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 2!00:43 Brendan Donovan1:22 Tommy Edman2:08 Jake McCarthy” uploaddate=”2023-04-06″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1276562_th_642e405846199_1680752728.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1276562.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″]

Sad to report Zach Eflin’s back is tight and he will miss two starts–WHOA! Hold on a second here, Previous Sentence Grey! Eflin is injured but the Rays are calling up Taj Bradley. Wonder if Taj knows the Reds’ India. They would seem like natural friends. Taj is a pretty girl’s name, let’s see if I nod my head after looking at his stats. Looks at stats, nods heads–I mean head! Yes, I’m interested. So far this year, he’s only thrown two games and that sorta sample size is irrelevant — that’s what she said derisively! Here’s what Itch has said previously, “Bradley is a little underrated at the moment. Makes sense. Feels like Tampa can poof a good starter into existence at any given moment, and Bradley wasn’t dominant in 59 innings at Triple-A (1.19 WHIP, 15.4 K-BB%). On the other hand, he’d just posted a 0.91 WHIP and 24.6 percent strikeout minus walk rate in 74.1 innings at Double-A. The Rays make overperformers out of decent athletes all the time. Bradley is a plus athlete. I don’t know if he’ll splash like McClanahan or Rasmussen did, but I am expecting something pretty similar when they deem Bradley ready. Finally, I want to punch Grey in the head.” Okay, not cool! We all love our rookie starters — I called ahead for a table for one. The name is: Horntown. — but they could clobber you. Plus, Eflin will be back soon, so I could see a Taj Bradley streamer, but he’s likely not long for mixed league relevance. At least not this first call up, i.e., Taj isn’t ready for the long Mahal just yet. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Heaney Is A Royal Pain In A Good Way For Once

April 11, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 343 Comments

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Playing fantasy baseball with Andrew Heaney on your team is like getting cozy with a heating pad as you fall asleep, and every five days that heating pad will keep you a perfect 73 degrees, but, once in a while, it will unexpectedly become 212 degrees. At first, you’re having a nightmare where your blood starts boiling, and you sleepwalk out of bed, grab a box of dry pasta from the cabinet and boil the pasta in your blood. That’s once in a while. Not yesterday for Andrew Heaney! Yesterday, Andrew Heaney (5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 8.22) made good on his promise from last year. Maybe he was visited by the Dodgers’ pitching pixies in the pregame to remind him what he was supposed to do. Maybe it was just the better matchup. Whatever it was, it worked. He cut his walks, and showed why he’s so tantalizing with his strikeout rate now up to 14.1 K/9. I’m such a sucker for this guy hopefully I’m not trying to boil fusilli in my blood next time out. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Rasmussen Hides Eggs On Scoreboard

April 10, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 470 Comments

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The crazy analytics that the Rays have that no one else has: Pinpointing what players are good at and reenforcing that some players only do what they’re good at. For unstints, they’ll tell someone like Drew Rasmussen (7 IP, 0 ER, 1hit, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 0.00) “pitch well,” and only “pitch well.” Crazy, right? Sometimes they’ll say to a hitter, “Hit well.” That has never been done before by a Major League Baseball team. One time they said to Vidal Brujan, “Be terrible,” and what do you know? What did he do? I’m gonna give you one guess here. He was terrible! It’s analytics like this that allow the Rays to save money too. The Rays received a bill from their travel department and were like, “This is way too much money to travel to games,” so they said to Manuel Margot, “Fly the plane,” and that’s what he did. Analytics, that’s what this is. So, I went to look to see if Drew Rasmusen had a sleeper post written by me, but he didn’t. Guess I merely loved him vs. wrote him up. Wanna know how much pitching there is in the majors? Rasmussen has a 2.96 ERA in 243 1/3 IP in his career. Yeah, but you have to draft a top starter. Mmkay. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

It Ain’t No Lie Baby Buy Buy Brice

April 7, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 297 Comments

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[brid autoplay=”true” video=”1276562″ player=”13959″ title=”2023%20Razzball%20BUY%20SELL%20HOLD%20for%20Fantasy%20Baseball%20Week%202″ duration=”182″ description=”It’s the Razzball BUY, SELL, HOLD for 2023 Fantasy Baseball Week 2!00:43 Brendan Donovan1:22 Tommy Edman2:08 Jake McCarthy” uploaddate=”2023-04-06″ thumbnailurl=”https://cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/snapshot/1276562_th_642e405846199_1680752728.jpg” contentUrl=”//cdn.brid.tv/live/partners/9233/sd/1276562.mp4″ width=”480″ height=”270″] (NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH) The Brewers are a Big But Team. I’m not just talking about their 1st […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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