Domingo Dominates But Comes Up A Day Late And Dollar Short Of A Win

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Seattle Mariners, or as they’re known in the Pacific Northwest “Seattle’s Best Club,” are calling up their 24-year-old right-hander, Bryce Miller. Last thing Itch said on Miller was, “His time is nigh, but he’ll need something to go wrong in a stacked rotation.” El oh el. Not at Itch, but at the M’s. Um, go wrong in their rotation? If their only crack was in Robbie Ray’s pants. Itch said earlier in the preseason in his top 75 prospects rankings, “If you’re looking for a deep-sleeper starter late in a draft-and-hold format, it might be Miller time. A 4th round pick in 2021, Miller has chugged right through the minor leagues and figures to open this season in Triple-A after posting a 1.05 WHIP in 50.2 innings across ten Double-A starts in 2022. The main worry is that he goes the way of Matt Brash. His delivery isn’t as low or unbalanced (reliever-y) as Brash’s, but he too is a fastball-slider dominant pitcher getting kind outcomes in a kind setting. Speaking of kind, ever wanted a Kind Bar truck to fall on Grey?” What the heck! Miller’s command looks crazy wonky, but it was decent this year in 19 2/3 IP (1.4 BB/9). He looks closer to a 3.5 BB/9 or higher, which smells of trouble. His strikeouts should be around 8.6-9.1 K/9. On the “oh crap that’s bad” side, he could go 3.5 BB/9 and 8.5 K/9 and be a 4.50+ ERA guy. On the “oh, daddy, that’s nice, I’m appreciative of your love” side, he could have a 9+ K/9 and 2 BB/9 and be a strong number two. Like in the carnival game “water gun used to blow up the balloon in the clown’s mouth,” aim your expectations for the middle. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Get Ready To Be Stoned When Gavin Lights Up The Joint

by: Grey

As many of you know, I was in Mexico City this weekend. The funny thing (is this funny?), I was in Mexico City for a cousin’s wedding. Not until maybe three days before did I realize it was the same weekend as the Padres and Giants playing in Coors South, which I guess is Corona. Around the city, they had these player statues, and, boy, were they awful:

Oh my god I found them whoever they are pic.twitter.com/I9gjYpl82S

— Razzball (@Razzball) April 28, 2023

I look more like Manny Machado than that statue! Any hoo! I’m being told this is not Travel & Leisure dot com. Too bad, I had some great tips for Gavin Stone about how to get to Los Angeles. El eff gee! That’s right, the Dodgers are calling him up to start on Wednesday. I have Stone stashed since March in multiple leagues; I just gave you a Gavin Stone fantasy two weeks ago. I am absolutely all-in. As Bob Dylan would say, everybody must get Stone. Seriously, don’t leave any Gavin Stone unturned. All those Dodgers’ babies from last week are going to have Gavin as their birth Stone. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buy NL Tap Into My Mervis System

April 28, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 396 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

“Are the Cubs stupid? We come back after the break to answer that very important question and many more.” The anchor takes off his earpiece and says, “Yes, they are stupid. They’ve kept down Matt Mervis and Christopher Morel for so long now for what reason? Is there a reason? Well…?” Then, he realizes he’s not an anchor, but instead he’s a fantasy baseball owner of Matt Mervis and Christopher Morel, and he’s not wearing pants and he’s sitting in his mother’s basement and he’s doing a ‘newscast’ to his cat, Pajamas Higgins, who was the Cubs’ first baseman last year for 38 games, though he’s better known as P.J. As I said last year, “I did a google for Matt Mervis and his ETA and I found he’s going to be promoted to the Cubs in 2022. Very cool, let’s see how he did. Let me do another google for us. Hmm, I’m not seeing any stats for Matt Mervis with the Cubs. The Cubs must’ve had some great 1st basemen for the last year.” And that’s me quoting me! Same story, different year! Matt Mervis is a 25-homer guy in the majors tomorrow with no change in approach. He’s not young, so, ya know, he should already be in the majors, if the Cubs didn’t want to waste him for no reason. At 25 years old, it would be easy to write him off, but he was a college guy who lost 2020. I asked Itch if Mervis was going to be Tork 2.0, and he said he hoped not, then asked for my GPS coordinates to send a drone. Itch also added that Mervis has more reps against good arms and he keeps getting better. Sounds like he should be Never Nervous Matt Mervis. He reminds me of every super late cornerman that is rostered in every league. 25/.260 guys have value, and he should’ve been up already. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yet Another Joey Who’ll Bully Ortiz You

April 28, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 300 Comments

by: Grey

Just like when a Jewish kid turns 13 and they become a man or woman, and have their Bar Mitzvah or when a hitter breaks out and they have a Star Mitzvah, the same can be said of a team. A team becomes a Man Team when they decide they’re too good for Adam Frazier. That’s what happened yesterday for the Orioles. They looked at their team, and they said, we’re a Man Team, we need a Man 2nd baseman. (Though, they just moved Adam Frazier to right field yesterday; Santander to DH and Gunnar to the bench, but let’s hope they didn’t decide to become a Man Team without Gunnar.) To be a Man Team, they called up Joey Ortiz to be their new Man 2nd baseman. Itch’s said, “(Ortiz is) probably my favorite player in this system at the moment in terms of value to our game versus perceived value across the lists I’ve seen. Ortiz is a plus defender at 5’11” 175 lbs and could come on so quickly that the club has to promote him early in the season. He finished 2022 with an excellent 26-game stretch in Triple-A (.346/.400.567) and doesn’t have much more to learn in the minors. If he hits as well as my fist against Grey’s head, then sign me up!” What even? Ortiz looks like a 15/15/.280 hitter if he has an everyday job. It’s time, O’s. Man up! By the way, if you leave a sandwich out for 13 years, it becomes a Manwich. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Cardinals Mistake That 90’s Song As “Walker In Memphis”

April 27, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 425 Comments

by: Grey

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Jordan Walker was optioned to the minors. What a joke of an organization. Their corresponding move was to give Taylor Motter a contract. I can’t even be mad. Who are we kidding, I am so mad! He was hitting .274 vs. righties and lefties! League average is .245! Only three teams collectively are hitting above .274. He tied the longest hit streak for someone under the age of 21 in 120 years! What is going on?! Is Oli Marmol dumb? I’m truly concerned he might lock himself in a closet and not be able to get out. Is someone keeping an eye on him? What if he forgets how to get out of his car? Does he have assistance? Can we make sure Oli Marmol remembers how to put on his pants?! Can we?! Can someone do that?! What is going on?! Seriously, I’ve seen some huge BS in my time, but this is up there with the top BS’ings in the history of BS. This takes the BS cake, then craps out more BS! What is happening?! He’s better than than at least half of the current Cards’ lineup!? I wanna hurt someone! *realizes I’m screaming this in a Dunkin’ and cops are looking at me* Um, but, ya know, I will simply drop Jordan Walker from my fantasy teams, instead. Honestly, I don’t feel better after this vent session. Oli Marmol fell asleep to Camp Granada the other night, got the “Hello Motter” part stuck in his head, and now we’re losing Jordan Walker because of an earworm! A freakin’ earworm! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Call Me Korean Hanson Cuz I’m Singing Bibee MMMBop

April 26, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 397 Comments

by: Grey

I say something on this week’s podcast like, “Tanner Bibee is coming up any day now,” it’s quotes like that why the Pulitzer for Podcasts said, “Can we make a special award just for you?” Sure, their special award was called, “The Pulitzer for Saying Something While Saying Nothing.” So, the Guards are supposedly calling up Tanner Bibee to start today, and they don’t play around with their pitchers, which is something I should remember for next year when I’m between drafting a guy like Gavin Stone and a Guardians’ pitching prospect. So, Bibee has a 95 MPH fastball with four pitches. The fastball and 84 MPH slider are the swing-and-miss’ers. His slider was 56% swing-and-miss, which is nuts. His change is kinda bleh and the curve doesn’t do much, but setup. He has excellent command, and could be the rookie pitcher prospect call-up of the year. Another Pulitzer award, presumably. Here’s what Itch’s said, “Bibee’s currently my favorite of Cleveland’s pitching prospects for dynasty purposes in terms of cost vs. value. He’s coming off 73.2 innings in Double-A with a 0.88 WHIP. He allowed just four home runs there and wound up with a 1.83 ERA. He’s good enough to the naked eye that I think he’ll make waves this spring. His 122.2 innings pitched last year sets him up perfectly to step in whenever the Guardians need help. People still seem to be underrating his physical gifts. At 6’2” 205 lb, Bibee can sit comfortably in the mid-90’s deep into games and has that Cleveland specialty skill of commanding his off-speed pitches. In case you can’t tell from the blurb, I want him everywhere I can get him. And I want to punch Grey everywhere I can.” That’s not cool! Bibee is worth grabbing in every league. Yes, even in your league. Will he stay up? Hard to say, but worth the flyer. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Spencer’s Gifts Nearly As Perfect As I Remembered

April 25, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 437 Comments

by: Grey

Spencer Strider is the best starter, right? I’m asking, because his mustache clouds my judgment. I know Everywhere Blair has Spencer Strider ranked number one in his top 100 starters, but Blair might get clouded by the mustache too. His mustache is very beautiful. More beautiful than mine? Who is to say? Yes! Fine, I am saying it. It is more beautiful than mine. I feel like it’s Rollie Fingers, Spencer Strider then Me. That’s it. That’s my mustache rankings. I’m not even number one for my own mustache rankings! I am pitiful! My best pitchers in baseball rankings likely start at Spencer Strider too. Yesterday, he went 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 13 Ks, ERA at 1.80. His ERA might be a little bit higher than Gerrit Cole’s. Strider is basically Jacob deGrom but without seven straight years of being unable to throw more than 75 IP. Strider is Ohtani, but without the 35-homer bat. Okay, that’s pretty good for Ohtani. I’m on the Struggle Bus going choo-choo like I’m on a train, because Strider’s mustache has me so mesmerized, trying to come up with a legit top five starters based on stuff alone. Eff it! Top 5 of the top of my head based on stuff and nothing else: Strider, deGrom, Ohtani, Greene, and Strider’s Mustache. Strider ranks twice in five starters! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Logan Allen Serves Up Steamed Marlin Cleveland Style

April 24, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 488 Comments

by: Grey

You thought every team having a Luis Garcia was confusing? You rued the day you ever learned there was a Trevor Megill and a Tylor Megill? You thought they were joking when they said there was another Max Muncy? You’re in a Holds league and get the shakes every time you see T. Rogers? You still have a headache from the time you drafted Ryan Braun, the reliever? Well, do I have a surprise for you! For a limited time only, we have two Logan Allens! It could be worse, they were both on the Guardians! Now, there’s one on the Rockies and one on the Guardians. That makes things easier because you’d never want a pitcher on the Rockies, so you only have to look at the team name and remember, “No Rockies pitchers ever.” So, why do we care? Well, outside of AL-Only leagues, we may not. Logan Allen (6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks) has a starting job right now, but Triston McKenzie and Aaron Civale could return at some point (in theory), and Hunter Gaddis is stretched out and might get another look. Since the “why do we care” became “why should we not care,” here’s an answer to the caring part: He consistently has a 11+ K/9 in the minors. Itch’s said, “A great athlete with plus balance and command who repeats his delivery with ease, Allen fits the Cleveland mold for pitchers who exceed their on-paper projections. He’s not an ideal candidate to add velocity at 6’0” 190 lbs, but Cleveland tends to find a way, not that Allen has needed more than his low-90’s fastball, plus changeup and average curveball to this point, and I’d like to stick Grey with a sharp point.” C’mon, man! Itch’s “Cleveland tends to find a way” is why I’m interested in deeper mixed leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Buying J-Lowe’s Claim That “I’m Real”

April 21, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 308 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH)

“When will it all click?” is an amorphous thing. Could it be immediately? Cody Bellinger was immediate; Fernando Tatis Jr. was pretty immediate; Juan Soto was immediate. Now that I list these immediate guys, I’m beginning to wonder if success too fast is bad for the player. Like the child actor of baseball. Do you want to put your hands on your cheeks with aftershave, and scream after being left alone when you’re 12, or do you want to Culkin in your late-30’s on Succession? Fighting for success is better? I don’t know, but you can’t put a time on anyone’s breakout. Shohei Ohtani was in the league for a few leagues, drafted around 220th overall that preseason, then he broke out. We’re seeing something similar this year with Jarred Kelenic. Could the same be true of Josh Lowe? This is a guy who we’ve been touting since 2019, when he went 18/30 in Double-A. Then he followed that with 22/26 and we were all convinced he was going to arrive — and arrive he did! — but with a yawn. He started the year with the Rays last year, but was quickly sent down, and went 14/25 in the minors, and people started whispering the dreaded Quad-A label. And these people weren’t even in a library! The problem at every stop was his strikeouts would Bialystock & Bloom and he couldn’t produce, but not this year. Finally, Josh Lowe doesn’t seem like the low man of Lowes, but more like the Lowe man. He’s cut his strikeouts by a huge margin and, if he’s hitting for power, and running like he always did without the Ks? Then the Josh Lowe bar is high. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Padres Putting On Their Big Boy Pants And Going Full Fernando

April 21, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 239 Comments

by: Grey

There’s a large contingent of people logging on, who are like, so you like Fernando Tatis Jr. (0-for-5) now? I see, so you like cheaters? Let’s call these people, The Moralists. They’ve never done anything bad in their life. Good for them. Better than me, but they’re likely better than everyone. So, hey, The Moralists, I’m sorry, I grew up loving Mark McGwire, you can’t shame me into caring about steroids now. Here’s a conversation between me and The Moralists:

The Moralist, “You see that great player who is very fun?”
“Fernando Tatis Jr.? Yes, I do see him.”
“I don’t like him anymore because he cheated by taking drugs.”
“Oh, so you’re a nerd?!”

People who are like, “So, you’re defending cheating?” I am not Perry Mason. I am merely excited about the return of a guy I drafted in a fantasy baseball league. A guy who is fun. His name is Fun The Jewels for Chrissake! Any hoo! Welcome back, Fun The Jewels, now LFG! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ump Produces Sticky Substance Perusing Skin of Max

April 20, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 319 Comments

by: Grey

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Max Scherzer was cruising, as is often the case with Max Scherzer — had a line of 3 IP, 0 ER — when he was ejected for having (what the umpires believed to be) a foreign substance on his glove. Scherzer was screaming, “It’s rosin!” It seemed like the Pitchcom tape inside his glove because he calls his own game. It better — again, with some stank — IT BETTER check out as a foreign substance or all of those umpires should be suspended without pay for thirty games. Umps are power-mad idiots. You throw out a first ballot Hall of Famer for what you believe is something sticky? That’s absurd. You taint his legacy with some utter nonsense? Are you completely daft? Now, MLB instituted an automatic 10-game suspension for the offender, so Scherzer might miss another two starts due to this? Oh, this is some serious BS.

Max Scherzer was ejected between innings after a heated conversation with the umpiring crew. IN his place, the Mets brought in bizarro Max Scherzer, Schax Merzer. pic.twitter.com/Lwy0oRJEzl

— Razzball (@Razzball) April 19, 2023

Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dark Days For A’s Receive A Pitcher Of Miller Light

April 19, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 406 Comments

by: Grey

In Prospect Itch’s last news report on Sunday, he said, “Athletics RHP Mason Miller was sitting 100 mph in his Friday night start. He struck out 11 batters over five perfect innings and probably belongs in Oakland’s rotation already. I doubt he’ll get there soon. Always tougher to predict these cases where service time–not skill–is the primary determinant of a prospect’s timeline. If it was up to me, I’d just punch Grey’s face all day.” What on earth? So, Itch is right and wrong. Mason Miller was called up to start today, and it is hard to predict these things. I would’ve also guessed the A’s never call up Mason Miller, because the A’s are playing for a one-way ticket to Vegas. Shows you how much pull the Freemasons really have. *pulls string on conspiracy board* If a Mason is a builder in stone, and the team name is in his name as M-A’s-on, then he’s Gavin Stone on the A’s. Whoa, doggie! So, Miller’s minor league stats are hilarious in a good and bad way. He’s got potential to have a 15+ K/9, and might stay healthy for 15 innings total. Since 2021, he has 28 2/3 IP. Oh…*marches to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro*…kay. He’s worth a flyer, but I wouldn’t expect many innings. Only way Mason Miller’s getting 2 W’s with that team before the All-Star Break is if he’s turned upside down. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 4984 posts

Domingo Dominates But Comes Up A Day Late And Dollar Short Of A Win

Get Ready To Be Stoned When Gavin Lights Up The Joint

Buy NL Tap Into My Mervis System

Yet Another Joey Who’ll Bully Ortiz You

Cardinals Mistake That 90’s Song As “Walker In Memphis”

Call Me Korean Hanson Cuz I’m Singing Bibee MMMBop

Spencer’s Gifts Nearly As Perfect As I Remembered

Logan Allen Serves Up Steamed Marlin Cleveland Style

Buying J-Lowe’s Claim That “I’m Real”

Padres Putting On Their Big Boy Pants And Going Full Fernando

Ump Produces Sticky Substance Perusing Skin of Max

Dark Days For A’s Receive A Pitcher Of Miller Light