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Author: Grey

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Grey

Gunner And His Teammates Show The Yanks The O Face

July 7, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 197 Comments

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Our father, who Arte Moreno knows in heaven that’s how he owns the Angels, hallowed be thy name, from kingdom come, from sea to shining sea, we’ve lived to see the day when the Orioles are way better than the Yankees. Luis Severino (2 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 7.38), the Yanks’ 2nd best pitcher, wouldn’t even make the Orioles’ pitching staff. I am howling like Jack Nicholson in Wolf. The Yankees would basically betroth Kyle Bradish (6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.32) to Rhoda Berra, Yogi’s grand niece, to join their team. The Yankees would give Lou Gehrig’s childhood home, that is currently in a giant glass case at the Steinbrenners’ ranch, for just one of their prospects. Send them Gunnar Henderson (4-for-7, 3 runs, 5 RBIs and his 12th and 13th homer) and the Yankees will give them the baseball fan who ran onto the field to congratulate Chris Chambliss, who has been in a dungeon for the last 45 years. That is their monkey’s paw and the Yanks will give it to the Orioles for just a taste of the Orioles’ success. I am laughing. What a world. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Pablo Picasso’s The Royals

July 6, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 305 Comments

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The last two weeks I’ve said some variation of, “Pablo Lopez (9 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.89) is the biggest Buy Low.” Prolly called him Pab-Lo, but the sentiment remained the same. Buy Low, I said, as I stood below your window, waiting for you to lower your hair so I could climb up and whispering why Pablo Lopez was a Buy Low. His K/9 is 11.2 and his BB/9 is 2.4. I did a Zoom call with those numbers and talked dirty until they called me a Toobin and hung up. His xFIP is 3.45. That’s SHE upside down on a calculator. You need more info here? Really? Everything looked perfect on his perfs, the only thing that was poking out and ruining things was his unlucky LOB%. Once that corrected itself, he was going to be an ace. Ya know one way to avoid a LOB problem? It’s to leave guys on freakin’ base! That was going to be the easiest thing to correct for someone with a 11+ K/9. He is no longer a Buy Low. Hopefully, you got in on Pab-Lo before he became Pab-Properly-Priced. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Hamateyville Horror

July 5, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 289 Comments

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“Four score and seven ‘And that’s me quoting me’s ago, my Fordfathers said, ‘Stop calling us Fordfathers, you idiot, it’s forefathers!” That was a quote from our most true patriot, Grey, the Fantasy Master Lothario, don’t abbreviate it. Hope everyone had a nice 4th of July, and you still have all ten fingers, and, if you don’t, I hope at least you had nearby an appropriately-sized, half-eaten hot dog to use as a tourniquet. Someone who doesn’t have a working ten fingers is Mike Trout. He looks like Captain America, so somehow it tracks that on the day with the most hand injuries in America, he gets his. Brutal news for sure, but every toilet flush fills up with a dog getting a clean glass of water, and that’s Jo Adell, as he was promoted. Since Trout is likely out six to eight weeks, this gives the Angels ample opportunity to find new ways to not play Adell. I kid. Kinda. I’d grab Adell in most leagues to see if he can finally click. Anyway. here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Michael Hrs II

July 4, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 191 Comments

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The singular of fireworks is firework, but sounds weird. A firework should be a professional wrestler who pretends to be a fireman for his character. That’s a firework. Speaking of firemen, Happy 4th of July or as firemen call it, “Why did you put a Roman Candle in your butt and aim it at your house? Dumb move, especially since you lived in a thatched hut.” You don’t need fireworks to light up the night sky when you have Michael Harris II (2-for-3, and his 8th and 9th homer). Megahertz is electricity. I’m glad I took the Big Dub on calling him overrated already so I can now go back to basking in his hawt-ness. Is that not how this works? Can I not call a guy overrated, then enjoy him a few months later? I absolutely can. No one says I need to watch him be a stinker the whole season. He was overrated coming into the year, and now he’s properly rated. When I rank him in the top 100 for the 2nd half next week, I think I’ve finally figured out where he should go. Sounds like Fiddy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Reds Pull Abbott Out Of Their Cap

July 3, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 298 Comments

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Vegas’ oddsmakers have this year’s mark set at 73.5. I’m going under. Sorry, this is meant to help your most important 4th of July DFS. That was Joey Chestnut’s previous seven years with this year’s O/U. You don’t bet on the Glizzy King? Damn, y’all un-American! Oh, I see, you saw this post was about the Reds, and thought we were talking Commies. The borscht eating contest is on May 1st, you missed it! So, Andrew Abbott (7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 1.21) keeps rolling. His command (3.1 BB/9) is not as bad as I worried as it might be. Could MLB hitters have no idea to wait on their pitch? Maybe. His fly ball tendency (59.7%), home park and homers allowed in the minors still has me running like I’m Uncle Baby Billy from a wife. The 93 MPH fastball has produced a .152 BAA, which is goofy low, producing a 20 Launch Angle. He is doing it, so there’s something to it, but he’s one of the luckiest pitchers currently. Regression is going to come faster than heartburn for Chestnut. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Take A Frelick From This Scoop Of Buy Scream

June 30, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 331 Comments

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Brian Anderson swings and misses. “One.” Brian Anderson swings and misses. “Two.” …dissolve to later…Brian Anderson swings and misses. “Uh, I lost count because you dissolved to later. What? It was only a five-second dissolve? So, that’s swing number three? Why dissolve then? Well, whatever the case, I’m no longer counting the licks it takes to get to Sal Frelick.” So, when a guy is behind Brian Anderson and is in his 2nd year of Triple-A and he’s 23 and would immediately become the best contact hitter in the Brewers’ lineup and how many “ands” do I need to do here? Am I counting Licks or Ands? Oh, and he has 35+ steal speed and has some pop and could be the best OBP in the MLB lineup behind maybe only Christian Yelich who’s ~.360. I could go on with the Ands. Like all of us besides our one conjoined twins reader, there’s one but here — but he’s not on the 40-man roster. So, we tweedle our thumbs. Speaking of thumbs, Frelick had thumb surgery in April and likely why he’s even in the minors. He could and should be promoted soon. Three. That’s the number of licks to get to Sal Frelick. Anyway, here’s some more players for Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Tigers Shop At Spencer’s Gifts

June 30, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 186 Comments

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I’ve been giving the Tigers a hard time, unlike the contact their hitters make. Okay, okay, that’s enough. It’s time to dig in on Spencer Torkelson (2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 10th and 11th homer, and 3rd homer in two games). You have to dig deep because his prospect status has sunk so low. All right, that’s not nice. Seriously, I need to look at Torkelson. Yikes, that’s a jump scare. In 187 games in the majors, he has 19 HRs, 2 SBs and a .210 average. Josh Bell is a bad hitter; Torkelson is a bad-hitting Josh Bell. Call him Gosh That’s Hell. Any hoo! He’s young and he just had his best month in the majors, 7 HRs in just under 100 ABs. He still hit .180-ish, but baby steps, Gosh That’s Hell. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Dunning Was Stunning But Domingo Has German Engineering

June 29, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 238 Comments

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What’s the German word for “everyone knows a person is cheating but the umps just want the game to end?” Schaden-fraud feels too perfect like. Dot dot dot. What else was perfect last night? Oh, yeah, Domingo German (9 IP, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.54). How about a German word for I just dropped him in all my leagues because he gave up 10 runs in his last freakin’ start? Uberidiot? Prolly Uberidiöt, because the Germans like that an umlaut. This was the first perfect game since F-Her in 2012, and there were three in 2012. By the way, if you haven’t seen the movie, Tár, it was great. It’s about German’s hands when he’s pitching.

Dane Dunning was supposed to be the lede, but he’ll have to settle for co-lede. He was holding his hands in front of his mouth, screaming like a teenager, “Me?! I get a Razzball lede?! Oh my God!” You come within one out of a complete game shutout with 10 Ks? Yes, you get a lede. Step right up. *begins the formal pat down that every player goes through* I’m sorry, when I tell you to cough, you have to cough otherwise I’ll get arrested, okay? What, you thought you just had to perform well? Ha, silly, you Dane Dunning! So, Dane Dunning (8 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.69) should actually be used to the Razzball spotlight. This might come as surprise to some of youse, but I liked Dunning so much I included him in starters to target two years ago, and he wasn’t great. His peripherals were fine, but his ratios were laggards. He doesn’t have a great fastball (90 MPH), but he barely throws it. He’s figured out his pitch mix, though; he has a great cutter and has nearly doubled its usage. A great cutter? Yup, solid ground ball rates. Dane Dunning is a poor man’s Gausman. Call him Petrolman. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Gausman Delivers Ex-Team A Dozen Donuts

June 28, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 265 Comments

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Yesterday, Kevin Gausman went 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.01. Gausman was being drafted like, “Oh, I guess I’ll punt top starters and take Gausman.” Gausman was being drafted like: Person looking at your draft results, “You didn’t draft an ace.” Person who drafted Gausman, “I think Gausman is my ace.” “No, you need someone like Corbin Burnes or Sandy Alcantara.” I won’t break the record that I continue to break that people continue to ignore. I just want everyone to think about one thing: Pitchers are impossible to rank, thus draft. ERA, Wins and WHIP, to a lesser extent, are heavily influenced by luck. When there’s no luck playing a factor, they’re prone to injuries. You could’ve had Gausman as your ace everywhere. Or, you could’ve had Alek Manoah, who was scorched for 11 runs in 2 2/3 IP in the Florida Complex League. Oh, he’s absolutely going to have a complex, thinking, “Wow, I really suck.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Reid Det And Weep

June 27, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 326 Comments

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Turning on the TV, oh, lucky, it’s my favorite movie, Beaches. Wow, Barbara Hershey being selfless and allowing Bette Midler to shine. It’s so beautiful…Oh my God, what are these wet things on my cheeks? I’m crying tears of laughter and sadness that only the movie Beaches can elicit. Now, I am cutting pictures of Ohtani and Reid Detmers (7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.77) out of a magazine and pasting their heads on the TV. Now Reid Detmers is Hershey, and Ohtani, of course, is Bette. Detmers is cold in Ohtani’s shadow. Anyone would be, Ohtani is one of the best of all-time, like Bette, so you can’t compete with that, but Detmers can cheer on his friend, and have an 11.1 K/9, 3.4 BB/9, and 3.64 xFIP. He also has a 13.3% Swinging Strike rate. You know who else has a 13.3% Swinging Strike rate (at least they both did going into yesterday)? For one night, Bette wasn’t better. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jordan Westburg Is The O’s New Kid On The Block

June 26, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 413 Comments

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Told you in Friday’s Buy column the Orioles were calling up their top prospect. I just forgot to include top infield prospect. Well, excuse me! I blame Itch. If he wasn’t so busy making casual death threats, he’d be on this! So, Itch had Jordan Westburg in his last prospects to stash report, and, on June 11th, he said, “Has 33 home runs and 14 stolen bases in 143 Triple-A games, which feels like a lot of Triple-A games for a first-round pick who’s slashing .305/.383/.601 on his return to the level, and I’d like to level Grey.” C’mon, man! I imagine Cowser will be up soon too, because, honestly, what are they doing in the minors? It makes no season. As Itch said, Westburg being in Triple-A that long is absurd, and so is Cowser. I tried to grab Westburg in every league, and failed. Let’s go! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

If You Like Auto Buy O’s, You’ll Love Colton Cowser’s Memoir, “Bird On A Wire”

June 23, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 379 Comments

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Colton Cowser sounds like one of those goofily-named foods that the Brits send over here.

“Would you like a Peek Frean?”
“No, they are too serious for me.”
“Would you like a Curly Wurly?”
“No, my good, sir. I cannot have a Curly Wurly, they are too disruptive on my tum-tum.”
“I see, I see, how about a Colton Cowser?”
“Are those the lavender-scented candies?”
“No, they’re striking out too much since their return from the MiLB IL, and Aaron Hicks is hitting too much. There’s no room for Colton Cowser in the Orioles’ lineup.”
“Really?”
“I kid! Of course, I want a Colton Cowser! I love those lavender-scented hard candies, and Cowser has big power, speed and should hit for a good average. Those strikeouts are only temporary, my good man! Speaking of temporary, that’s what Hicks is too. Yes, I do believe I will take a Colton Cowser in every league with the hope he is up soon and can go 15/15/.260 in only a half a season. Giddy up, my good sir, giddy up!” Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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