Nolan Arenado left last night’s game with a left mallet finger fracture. Despite how it sounds, he suffered the injury sliding head first into second base, and not from a giant sledge hammer. That’s a broken middle finger for the laymans. The team is saying he could be sidelined for 4-6 weeks, but likely more if he opts for surgery. Arenad’oh! Oh Nolan, you could really use that middle finger right about now. Arenado has been every bit the dream Coors third baseman we all thought he could be this year, triple slashing a mean .305/.333/.489, with six home runs and 28 RBI. This is just bad news. The good news? Razzball favorite and general disappointment to fantasy owners, Josh Rutledge will be called up to replace Arenado on the roster. I like to think anyone playing in Colorado is worth a look and JR is no exception, especially if you’re hurting at the hot corner. Rutledge did well in limited time with the Rockies in April, batting .318 with a home run in 22 ABs. He played 88 games in 2013, but struggled to hit for average despite flashing some speed and power, and was eventually sent down. In 12 team leagues, I might hold off on grabbing Rutledge until he shows us something, but I’ll be watching him as intensely as the last three episodes of Breaking Bad. Here’s hoping he can fill the Nolan Arenado-sized hole in our hearts until that finger fully heals.
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Giancarlo Stanton – 2-for-4, 2 HR (14). Two 440+ foot jacks! Because he can. Seriously, he crushed these balls, which are apparently scheduled to land Tuesday night around 8 pm, that’s assuming they haven’t already been pulled into orbit. Anyway, now that Jose Fernandez is out of the picture and I don’t have to worry about any silly restraining orders keeping me at least 500 feet away from Marlins Park I’m free to stalk Giancarlo Stanton to my hearts content. Did I say stalk? I meant follow lovingly while collecting as many loose hairs, skin flakes and autographs as possible until I can clone my very own Giancarlo at home in my lab. (Yes, of course I have a lab! Where else would I make all my meth?) Then I’ll have two Giancarlos and fantasy glory will be mine! Mwa-ha-ha!
Carlos Gomez – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBI. Take your time Braun, no need to rush back. CarGo Lite looks just fine batting clean up. Gomez provides more fantasy value for my team playing twice a week than most of my other outfielders can manage in seven games.
Jean Segura – 2-for-4, 2 runs, SB (10). Mean Jean is 7-for-9 with four runs and two stolen bases in two games since moving to the lead off spot. If you can find an owner who has soured on him or is suffering from Tulo-envy, now might be a good time to buy.
Mark Reynolds – 2-for-5, 2 HR (11), 4 RBI. After a 1-for-23 slump, mini-donkey has hee-hawed out of it in a big way, hitting 5-for-13 with three homers and 8 RBI in the past three games. Grab him before he goes 0-for-20 with 10 strikeouts again.
Garrett Jones – 2-for-3, 2 HR (8). Jonesy’s batting .474 over the past week with two homers and 7 RBI and Grey told you to BUY. Last night, Jones and super best friend Giancarlo combined to crush four homers at the Crayola Canyon. With Mark Reynolds’ two jacks and Khris Davis adding one, a record seven homers cleared the fences at Marlins Park last night, but surprisingly they weren’t all hit by Stanton.
Chris Davis – 2-for-3, HR (7), 4 RBI. Chris-the-Dish! Welcome back, old friend. THE POWER OF CHRIS COMPELS ME! THE POWER OF CHRIS COMPELS ME!
Lonnie Chisenhall – 2-for-4, run, RBI as he hit clean up. Let’s give him the chop! I heard you might be in need of a third baseman? Don’t worry, you’re not Arenadoomed. Ask and you shall receive. Lonnie’s got four multi-hit games in his past five with two home runs and four RBI in that span. Carlos Santanas aside he’s giving Tito no choice but to start him. Grey told you to BUY, he’s available everywhere and with the Injians offense starting to do the rain dance I’d grab him if you need corner help.
Michael Bourn – 1-for-2, SB (4). Bourn has now hit safely in seven straight games with two SB and a HR over that span. He’s owned in just under half of ESPN leagues, and now might be a good time to scoop him up before Bourn remembers he’s really a spy simply posing as a baseball player.
Nelson Cruz – 1-for-3, 2 runs, HR (15), his third homer in the past four games. Batter up, Nelly! Errtime! Cruz ties Jose Abreu for the league lead in home runs and trails only living legend/heartthrob Giancarlo Stanton for the lead in RBI. Nelly conducted his post game interview with a band-aid under one eye and told the world, “I am #1!” Then he dusted off his Air Furce Ones, flipped his bat and strutted off into the sunset.
Nick Markakis – 4-for-5, run. Holy S! Look at all those hits, he rea–zzzzzzzzzz. Sorry I must have dozed off, all this exciting talk of average and all, but it could just be all the painkillers I took, for all the, err, uh, pain? Adam Jones added three hits in this one as the O’s scored seven runs off 14 hits and look to be back in the groove offensively now that they got their Chris Davis back.
Anibal Sanchez – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 5 K and his second win. Aniballin’ out of control! It looks like he’s shaken most of the rust off and is back to Aniballer status.
Ian Kinsler – 3-for-4, 3 doubles, 3 runs, RBI. Extends his hitting streak to nine games. He’s collected a hit in all but two games in May and is batting .357 for the month. Man, I wish I owned Kinsler somewhere. Instead I went with some Gyorko at second. D’oh.
Austin Jackson – 2-for-4, 2-run HR (3). Jackson has been awful, batting under .200 over the last two weeks. Here’s hoping A-Jax has started cleaning up his act. It worked for the toilet bowl.
Mitch Moreland – 1-for-3, 2 RBI. So you’re mad you got burned by Prince Fielder. Try to think positive! Ariana Grande told Prince straight up: “I’ve got one less problem without you!” Drop the bass! That’s the spirit! Mitch Moreland looks to see plenty of time at first base with Fielder out. He has struggled lately, but should be given time to work through it and could be very productive in that line up.
Brandon Moss – 2-for-4, HR (11). The say a rolling stone gathers no Moss, but when Brandon Moss is a-rolling he sure gathers a crap ton of hits! When it’s not Adventure Time, B-Mo has been busy batting .360 with 5 home runs and 11 RBI in the past two weeks, and his 41 RBI are good for top five in the league. Mathematical!
Ike Davis – 2-for-4, 2 runs. He’s batting .300 with 10 RBI since being traded to the Pirates, and he’s got power we have yet to see much of. I’d pick him up if I needed help at first base. In other words I like Ike. Adlai Stevenson? Notsomuch.
Jason Grilli – 1.0 IP, 0 ER, 1 BB, 1 K, SV (5). The Bucs manager said the Grillimaster would not close last night. So, of course he got the save because [expletive deleted] your fantasy team.
Denard Span – 2-for-5. Sometimes I think we sound like a broken record, or a scratched CD, or a music video that’s lagging real bad (close some tabs, bro! Geez!). Grey’s been telling you to BUY all week and Span’s got four multi hit games in his last five.
Chris Archer – 6.0 IP, 8 base runners, 0 ER, 11 K, threw 119 pitches. Was this another one of Archer’s elaborate voice mail hoaxes or did this really happen? It was that kind of night, with neither team looking particularly good offensively, but the Sawx offense looking particularly bad and stepped right into Archer’s Danger Zone.
John Lackey – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 3 K. It was Lackey O’Clock, but no one told the offense. Rookie Colt Figueroa hit the game winning double in the bottom of the ninth to bring Boston’s losing streak to eight games. #RedSux Still, Lackey pitched well and has been really strong given the right match up. I’d start him with confidence next week versus Atlanta.
Shane Victorino – Likely headed back to the DL after aggravating that same hamstring that sidelined him earlier in the year. The Red Sox are hurting for outfielders, and I’d look for Daniel Nava to be called back up. Maybe they’ll sign J.D. Drew, because the world is an evil place. But more likely, Dustin Pedroia will just play two positions at once covering second base and right field while Big Papi cheers him on from the dugout.
Xander Bogaerts – 0-for-4, 3 K as he bat second. Apparently, X-Man’s movie did a whole lot better at the box office last night than he did at the plate. But that probably has more to do with Jennifer Lawrence naked and covered in blue paint. Here’s hoping Xander’s Days of Future Past are not past and big things are on the way in X-Man’s Days of Future Future.
Todd Frazier – 2-for-4, 3-run HR (9). Downtown goes Frazier! Downtown goes Frazier!
Shelby Miller – 5.0 IP, 5 hits, 4 ER, 5 K. Is Miller time over? Shelby has flashed some serious fantasy value to date, which is exactly why you should trade him sooner rather than later. The 4.56 xFIP and 1.39 WHIP are big red flags and the 4.76 BB/9 leads all qualified starters. I’m not saying you should sell him for your frat brother’s collection of empty beer and liquor bottles, but explore your options.
Billy Hamilton – 0-for-3, run, 2 SB. Billy attended the SAGNOF School for the Gifted and was valedictorian. He’s got seven steals in the past two weeks. Maybe he could be an X-Man!? We could call him Speedo or, um, Fastman? OK, I’m bad at this.
Gavin Floyd – 6.2 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 7 K. Not a bad start for Stream-O-Nator‘s Pick O’ the Week! After seeing Joaquin Phoenix have a romantic relationship with an OS in “Her,” I’m starting to think me and SON could be an item. It can tell me which pitchers to start and sit, organize my emails and keep track of my calender and I can just continue to do nothing. It sounds like the perfect relationship!
Michael Cuddyer – 2-for-4, HR (4). When he’s not busy training underprivileged urban youths in Baltimore at the gym, Cuddy has been slowly heating up since returning from the DL. He’s 6-for-16 with a homer since returning to the line up.
Craig Kimbrel – 1.0 IP, 3 K, SV (13). The perfect inning and struck out the side. That’s why we call that the Kimbrel.
Dee Gordon – 1-for-4, 3 SB (28). He’s on pace for over 80 stolen bases. 80! I would call the Count, but we don’t have all night. With that kind of speed he’s rumored to be cast in Fast and Furious 7: The One Where They Sit In Traffic, Because This is Supposed to be LA, Isn’t It?
Clayton Kershaw – 6.0 IP, 5 base runners, 0 ER, 9 K and his third win. He owed his owners big time after last weeks 1.2 inning, 7 ER implosion, so it’s good to know he is still good at pitching baseballs.
Yasiel Puig – 3-for-3, RBI, reached base five times. It’s like Matt Kemp and Carl Crawford had a baby with Mike Trout‘s sister and this little Puiggy was born. ALL HE DOES IS HIT THE BASEBALL! And yes, that’s a home movie we would all very much like to see. Make it happen, Hollywood!
Carl Crawford – 2-for-4, HR (4). He’s starting to look like he did before he didn’t look that way anymore. Wait, now I’m confused. You know what’s not confusing? The Crawdaddy is batting over .300 with 2 home runs and 4 SB in the past two weeks. That will help your fantasy team!
Adam Eaton – 3-for-5, SB (3). You can expect another solid week batting .300 with a couple of runs and stolen bases before he heads back to the DL again. I will take it!
Alexei Ramirez – 3-for-4, 2-run HR (7). He had just 6 homers in 158 games last year. He attributes his success this season to his new Adam Dunn diet of raw ground beef, turkey legs and a Chicago deep dish pizza every two hours.
Adam Dunn – 1-for-4, and a 2-run walk off home run off David Robertson that sailed over 430 feet. That’s how it’s Dunn! Donkey’s got 3 homers and 9 RBI this week. He had a lot of practice with his swing in the off season chopping down trees and wrestling oxen.
Norichika Aoki – 3-for-4, run, SB (6). Nori, what’s the story? Where have you been all season!?
Pablo Sandoval – 1-for-4, 3-run HR (5). Pablo is slugging .773 with 3 homers and 6 RBI in the past week and as I mentioned last Saturday, he credits his recent power surge to Taco Bell’s new breakfast menu helping fully cleanse his body. Panda-monium!
Tim Lincecum – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 6 BB, 4 K and his 4th win. His third straight quality start, but keep in mind he’s had a 21/13 K/BB ratio in that time and has faced the Braves, Marlins and Twins. He gets the Cubs next week, and although it looks like a good start I think you are playing with fire here. Fool me once sure, but until he fixes his control issues, there’s not enough pot in Colorado to make me buy this long term.
Everth Cabrera – 2-for-5, 2 runs, SB (10) and Cameron Maybin was 2-for-4 with 3 runs. The top of the Padres order should be (italics for emphasis!) a great source of steals. Maybin has hit well since returning from the DL, but until he flashes some speed he probably shouldn’t be owned outside of NL-Only and deep mixed leagues.
Chase Headley – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBI. The Padres were hitting everything last night (I know, it even felt weird to type!), obliterating Edwin Jackson for 8 ER in 4.0 IP. Even Jedd Gyorko had two hits! Hallelujah! (I’m just playing Jedd, you know I love you). Yasmani Grandal and Yonder Alonso each homered as the Friars managed 11 runs on 12 hits to take down the only team in the league sadder than them.
Jose Altuve – 3-for-4, RBI, SB (17). He’s batting .374 in May and could be a good sell high candidate. Altuve was one of those players that I didn’t want but had to draft solely because he was the best player available. Somehow these are always the players that end up winning your fantasy leagues.
Felix Hernandez – 8.0 IP, 5 hits, 1 ER, 9 K and his sixth win. You must watch this, see how excited this kid was after Felix gave him a ball? He’s so happy, it’s making me all tingly and emotional. That’s how jacked King Felix was when he heard he was facing the LAstros. Even more pumped than Macklemore at the Sunday swap meet. When asked post game what was working for him tonight, Felix said “Everything.” True story. I couldn’t make up a better quote if I wanted to. That’s why he’s the King.
Mike Trout – 2-for-4, HR (9). My obsession with Trout grows unhealthier by the day. I wrote him a small poem (5 pages) simply titled “27 Scales of Trout,” but apparently the content was too “explicit” and deemed “inappropriate” and “kind of creepy” for the family-friendly Razzball readers. Don’t worry though, Mike, I’ll read you the whole thing over our romantic candlelit dinner out at Subway. All the Italian BMTs and Sweet Onion Teriyakis you can eat. My treat.
Questions? Problems? Complaints? Please leave it in the comments, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
