Achilles (Tennessee Mash – RCL 25) held on to the lead in the overall standings with 108 points, but things have tightened up. Big Magoo (Matthew Berry is a Tool) moved up a couple of spots to 2nd, just 1 point back. Trini (Psychic Friends Network – RCL 22) holds down 3rd with 105, while Playin’ The Field (Beef SAGNOF!) and Team Birdis (RCL 3) round out the top 5 with 104 points each. Got Heem (RCL 9) made the biggest move this week, gaining 17 points and jumping from 384th to 159th place in the standings. RCL 9 and the ECFBL have the top competitive index of 104.
There was mention this week in RCL 40 of Josh Hamilton or Adam Jones possibly being “steal of the draft.” Number 1 ranked Hamilton had an average draft position of 35.2 while Jones was at 71.8. Then there’s #2 Carlos Beltran (122.4) and #5 Edwin Encarnacion (207.4). How about Lance Lynn, who was drafted in just 6 leagues and is now ranked #7? According to the Razzball Player Rater, Hamilton has gained over $44 in value, and is now worth $24 more than anyone else. Lynn has gained over $33, followed by Beltran ($32.4) and undrafted Fernando Rodney ($30.3). Since Lynn and Rodney were valued at $1 in the preseason, that probably makes them the top pick and pickup, respectively, so far.
Expert League: Mastersball Carey (Ryan Carey) bounced back and retook first place from RotoWire Del Don. Meanwhile Rudy and Grey went in opposite directions. Even Grey’s pitching let him down this week, finishing with just 1 win and ratios of 4.25 and 1.30. On the other hand, Rudy’s team moved up to 3rd place with 84 points and just missed earning top pitching honors, collecting 7 wins and 8 saves, with an ERA of 1.86 and 0.97 WHIP.
Trades: After last week’s 19 trades, the wheeler-dealers rested. Just 6 exchanges involving 18 players this week, highlighted by Uncle Robbies Daffiness Boys dumping the slumping Howie Kendrick in the ECFBL for the excitement of Eric Hosmer! In Ones are GOOD, right?, the Amazing Ocelots traded Felix Hernandez and Mike Adams to NYC Matthole for Brandon Morrow and Jake Peavy. Krispie Young and Yu Darvish were also among the players changing teams. You can find all the trades in the fantasy baseball forums. Look for the RCL under “Everything Else.”
Weekly Leaders
Fastballs At Ridgemont High (Schmohawk in Training) was the top hitting team this week. They hit .298 with 18 home runs and 59 RBI, 55 runs, and 14 steals.JonathanLucroy (.375/8 RBI/2 SB), Ryan Braun (.444/7 RBI/3 SB), Mike Trout (.444/2 HR/4 SB), and Ian Desmond (.344/2 HR/6 RBI/2 SB) all provided speed and power.
Average: .329 (Afghani Buzkashi – Fausto or Roberto?) Runs: 61 (Thunder Muscle – Fantasy Master Lotharios) HR: 18 (Fastballs At Ridgemont High, Big Magoo, Votto-erotic Asphyxiation, We’ve got the runs, Barking Basset Hounds, Coach McGuirk, Juicin Aint EZ- The A-Rod Story) RBI: 59 (Sclerotic Whips – Yu Ain’t Goldschmidt, Fastballs At Ridgemont High) SB: 20 (Super Tecmo Magic Rabbits – Myrtle’s Acres)
Urine Sample (RCL 44) took pitching honors with an ERA of 3.39 and 1.17 WHIP with 80 Ks, 6 wins, and 13 saves. Jim Johnson (4 Saves/2.25/1.00), J.J. Putz (3 Saves/0.00/1.25), and Alfredo Aceves (2 Saves/0.00/1.07) led their relief corps, while Yovani Gallardo and Gio Gonzalez anchored the starting rotation.
Ks: 99 (Dueling Beaver Traps – RCL 44) Wins: 9 (Rank Railheads – RCL #40) Saves: 13 (Pliny the Elder – Myrtle’s Acres, NYC Matthole – Ones are GOOD right?, Urine Sample – RCL 44) ERA: 0.95 (Worldwide Suicide – Ones are GOOD right?) WHIP: 0.89 (Worldwide Suicide – Ones are GOOD right?)
TEAM OF THE WEEK – May 14 – 20
Rank Railheads (RCL #40)
101/333 (.303)
50 R/17 HR/52 RBI/9 SB
108.2 IP
84 K/9 W/2.98/1.25/4 S
Andrew McCutchen and Martin Prado paced the Railheads’ offense this week. McCutchen hit 4 home runs and drove in 7, scored 6, and stole a base. Prado added a homer while hitting .519. Buster Posey (.381/5 RBI) and Carlos Ruiz (.476/6 Runs/1 HR/7 RBI/2 SB) made carrying 2 catchers seem like a good idea. Josh Reddick had only 4 hits, but 3 were dingers. 9 different pitchers picked up wins, with Ervin Santana putting up the best numbers: 15 strikeouts/1.32 ERA/1.10 WHIP. David Price (Win/13 K), Jason Motte (1 Win/1 Save), and Joel Hanrahan (3 Saves) were also key contributors.
Achilles (Tennessee Mash – RCL 25) had another good week and increased their lead in the overall standings. Josh Hamilton, Joey Votto, Jay Bruce, Ted Lilly, and Brandon Morrow were the key performers for the top team. Their relievers were also strong, allowing just 4 runs in 18 innings of work. Trini’s team (also with Hamilton), Psychic Friends Network (RCL 22), took over 2nd spot while Navseal 7 (RCL 9) slipped to third. RCL 9 continued to hold the title of “Toughest League,” but perennial contenders ECFBL and Schmohawk in Training are right on their heels.
Washington’s Stache (Toads and Wet Rocks) gained 25 points and jumped from 464th to 136th place in the standings. Norce Force (Hotel, Dotel, Halladay Inge) also improved by 25 points, and moved into the top 20 from 257th.
Grey mentioned this week that RCL teams should be able to keep their ERA under 3.50. Right now, only 43% of teams are managing that. A couple wise commenters opined that all the relievers blowing up was making it difficult. It is tough to separate the RP stats to study, but they do seem to be frequently ruining ratios.
Expert League: RotoWire Del Don (Dalton Del Don) took over the lead after a week where he jumped from 70 to 90 points on the strength of solid pitching. He recorded 5 wins and 7 saves with ratios of 1.82 and 1.05, along with 80 strikeouts. Rudy and Grey each lost a few points this week, and sit in 5th and 6th respectively.
Trades: There were 19 trades this week, bringing the total for the year to 98. Albert Pujols was traded a twice – both times by Al Koholic. In the ECFBL, last-place Al gambled on Ryan Howard and Bryce Harper, trading Albert and Ernesto Frieri to first-place The Fredsies for the pair plus Rafael Dolis. In RCL Original Recipe, he sent Pujols and Grant Balfour to Popeye’s n Beer Recipe4disaster for Jay Bruce and David Freese. With Pujols continuing to struggle and Balfour losing the closer job, so far it looks like Al came out ahead in this one. Tim Lincecum and Nelson Cruz were also dealt twice, including in RCL 38 where they were traded for each other. In Cracking The WHIP, the Dukes of Flatbush traded Alex Rios and Matt Cain to eye-talian backstop for Cruz and Bryce Harper. Team Beardown sent Lincecum and Anibal Sanchez to Bushwood Varmint Cong for Brandon Morrow, Johnny Cueto, and Edward Mujica in Epic Beardmen Division. In a somewhat questionable deal in Cust Kayin’, Pimpin Nipples gave up Troy Tulowitzki and Jordan Walden to acquire Jason Kipnis and Rafael Betancourt. You can find all the trades in the fantasy baseball forums. Look for the RCL under “Everything Else.”
Weekly Leaders
Norce Force was the top hitting team this week. They hit .339 with 27 home runs and 70 RBI, 60 runs, and 10 steals.Not surprisingly, they own Josh Hamilton (.467/10 Runs/9 HR/18 RBI). Carlos Beltran (.360/6 HR/13 RBI), Joey Votto (.429/3 HR/8 RBI), and Andrew McCutchen (.524/3 HR/1 SB) also provided big numbers.
Washington’s Stache set the pace on the mound with an ERA of 2.35 and 1.20 WHIP with 83 Ks, 9 wins, and 3 saves. Their lineup featured Edinson Volquez (2 Wins/10 K), Derek Holland (Win/0.00/1.00), Jordan Zimmermann (Win/ 9 K) and Brandon Morrow (Win/10 K).
Ks: 86 (Kemp Keep Me Down – Yu Ain’t Goldschmidt) Wins: 9 (Washington’s Stache – Toads and Wet Rocks, All about The WHIP – RCL 43) Saves: 10 (Tennessee Jed – Robust Herd, Pliny the Elder – Myrtle’s Acres) ERA: 1.07 (Bang Biscuit – RCL 41) WHIP: 0.92 (Big Cuntry – Ones are GOOD right?, The AmishGangster – Epic Beardmen Division)
TEAM OF THE WEEK – May 7 – 13
Norce Force (Hotel, Dotel, Halladay Inge)
100/295 (.339)
60 R/27 HR/70 RBI/10 SB
72.2 IP
60K/3 W/2.48/1.03/3 S
As mentioned above, Norce Force led the RCL in hitting, and their pitching was solid, lacking only in wins. Brandon Morrow (10 K) and Derek Holland (0.00/1.00) did pick up wins, while A.J. Burnett had 14 strikeouts in 2 starts with an ERA of 2.25 and WHIP of 0.81.
When Heath Bell looked like garbage on Sunday, Frank Francisco returned serve with three of his own runs. It was like watching a tennis match between Jon Lovitz and that guy from Felicity. Rather than getting the hook by his manager, Frank-Frank was ejected for arguing balls and strikes. The ump should’ve told him, “With your stuff, I wouldn’t have the balls to throw strikes either.” Jon Rauch is next in line here, but, before the ink can dry on his neck, he could lose the job too. Though, I would grab him, in the non-sexual way. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ike Davis – Sat out yesterday with flu-like symptoms. Like. Oh. My. Gahd. I hopes it’s not Valley Fever.
Heath Bell – Ozzie Guillen has come to the conclusion that Edward Mujica and Steve Cishek are simply just as awful at closing games as Bell has been, so they might as well go with the guy with the bad contract. So, once again, Bell is officially unofficially your Marlins closer and, as previously mentioned, he gave up two runs on Sunday. I’d continue to hold Cishek and Mujica. Bell needs to either go to the Disgraceful List or do some mop-up duty. Despite the closer craziness, the past week the Marlins have got it done, winning 10 of their last 12 games. A rational person might say to me, “The Marlins have played the Giants, Padres and Astros as of late, don’t get too excited.” I am an irrational person, so it must be their new uniforms!
Giancarlo Stanton – 3-for-5 with a grand slam. Is it just me or are you waiting for him to announce his name is actually Giancarlos Tanton?
Brian Fuentes – Was named the new A’s closer. I literally wrote everything else in this post then came back to this to make sure he was still the closer. If I wake up at 3 AM tonight and stumble back to my office, he may no longer be the closer. He’s on a short leash with a cone and muzzle. If he gets too far off the leash, he doesn’t give his owners rabies, he gives them ERAbies.
Brandon McCarthy – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks. Look at him K’ing people with reckless a-Brandon. McCarthy feels like one of those guys that you can get for cheap in a trade, but could be way more valuable. He’s literally in every fifth comment as a guy people want to drop, and I use the word ‘literally’ metaphorically.
Jarrod Parker – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners (4 BBs), 5 Ks. I doubt anyone’s actually buying (as in trading for), but you should be careful with Parker. He’s due for some Liquid Paper getting dropped on his stats.
Bud Norris – Got the win on Friday with 6.0 IP, 1 ER and 8Ks. Old James MacDonald pitched 8 innings and also struck out 8 in a pitchers’ duel. And a Bud at McDonald’s is a combo meal in The Bootheel of Missouri.
Bryce Harper – On Friday, he threw his bat at the wall in frustration and needed 10 stitches as it bounced back and hit him in the head. ESPN is auctioning off the bat with the proceeds going to TD (Teenaged Dipshits).
Wilson Ramos – Torn ACL and out for the year. On the positive side, he’s now way too gimpy for kidnappers to lug around.
Danny Espinosa – Got a couple of hits on Sunday, homered Friday and Saturday while adding in two steals. If it’s not obvious and you need me to spell it out, he’s H-O-T.
Henry Rodriguez – 2/3 IP, 4 ER with a massive blown save on Sunday. I shut the game off before the Votto grand slam, knowing it was coming. Then after it happened, I refreshed the box score a few times hoping it would change. It’s a soul-crushing defeat when you know it’s gonna happen, then don’t believe it when it does. Must’ve been what it felt like when Dewey tried to move his stuff into the White House with only a copy of the Dewey Defeats Truman newspaper.
Brian Dozier - 2-for-5 with his first homer. I wouldn’t expect much here; he’s pretty yawnstipating. It’s no coincidence that his last name is French for sleep (not true).
Scott Diamond – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. Now has back-to-back 7 inning scoreless starts. In AL-Only leagues, he could provide some value if he can continue his low walk-rate and so-so K-rate. But in AL-Only leagues, Bruce Chen is valuable, so take that with a grain of salt, which is a crystal as is a diamond. How’s that for circular reasoning?
Andy Pettitte – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks vs. the M’s. Against a major league offense, that’s 5 IP, 5 ER. That’s not exactly a comeback on par with Lance Armstrong returning less nutso.
Carlos Ruiz – 6th HR on Friday. Ruiz is batting .330 and leads the Phillies offense along with Juan Pierre. Or JuanCarlos if Stanton’s renaming them.
Jimmy Rollins – 1-for-4 with his 1st homer. Only one more to catch Chone Figgins!
Jesus Montero - Hit a home run on Friday against his old team as he punishes New York for trading him to the Mariners. You could taste the bad blood. Mmm… Iron.
Justin Smoak – Hit a homer yesterday and is 6 for his last 12 as he got to hit away from Safeco. Gets Fenway and Coors this week and could be a short term play. Seriously, no kindling with Smoak.
Addison Reed – Robin Ventura is planning on splitting his save chances between Thornton, Reed and Santiago. I think it’s appropriate to call Ventura by his cartoon onomatopoeia name: VenturARGH. And, because Reed seemed like the guy to own, he gave up 6 earned runs in a third of an inning yesterday. To give up 6 earned in a third of an inning is, like a bowling alley that doesn’t cater to dwarfs will tell ya, no small feat. At this rate, I don’t think I’d pick up any White Sox relievers in any shallow mixed league. I need this ulcer? No, no I don’t. If you really need the saves, I’d grab Santiago, Reed or Thornton, in that order.
Chris Sale – 5 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks. When you go for a ‘precautionary’ MRI (something I get all the time!), and you’re moved around to help ‘save’ your elbow, then throw a pretty mediocre start, I think something is wrong and you’d be wise to sell him quickly. But I’m not a doctor, though I did fall asleep while watching a Scrubs rerun last night.
Carlos Beltran – 4-for-5 with 2 home runs and 4 RBIs on Friday and hit his 13th homer on Sunday. He’s doing his best Albert Pujols impression, the pre-Angels Pujols. Yes, it took Pujols to go to the Angels to become mortal. The irony!
Allen Craig – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer on Sunday, after homering on Friday. Bad enough that he double-dipped on first names when there’s people without one — R. Kelly, “Tell me about it!” But now there’s people out there who can’t buy a homer in their leagues (me!) and this guy now has 5.
Rafael Furcal – 3-for-3 with his 7th steal, while batting .383 on the year. Still think he’s more of an Early Bird Special than a Zombino. You get two Facebook Likes if you understood that.
Lance Lynn – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. If you’ve owned him all year, you know this is less spectacular than he’s been. Or spectaculess, if you like portmanteaus.
Josh Hamilton – Homerton was 3-for-4 with two more home runs on Friday to bring his total to 17. The first player since Albert Pujols (who?) in 2006 to hit that many home runs in only 33 games. Then he hit his 18th homer on Saturday. 18 homers? I have 31 homers in one of my NL-Only leagues.
Mike Trout – Got his first slam & legs on Friday. In related rookie news, ESPN ran a feature on Bryce Harper’s TD telethon.
C.J. Wilson - Got roughed up in his Texas homecoming by Hamilton and the boys 1/3 IP, 3 H, 4 ER. Then Matthew Modine started screaming “You wanna have another go at it” and Wilson agreed. So, on Saturday, he went 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks. Then on Sunday, he rested. Geez, with the God complex.
Mark Reynolds – Lands on the DL after throwing batting practice on Friday. He said, “I got carried away with what I was trying to do. It just looks so easy to strike me out.”
Xavier Avery – O’s called up their outfield prospect and played him in left field yesterday as he went 0-for-4. Now for the Mystique behind X-Man. He has some speed (and very light power), and will struggle to hit for much of an average in the majors. In AL-Only leagues, he’s SAGNOF.
Jake Arrieta – 3 2/3 IP, 7 ER vs. the Rays. He’s been absolutely clobbered in his last two starts. I’d definitely look elsewhere, since I’m not a huge fan of O’s starters to begin with. My O’s starter face is a straight line for my lips and a slow blink of the eyes. It looks like ‘meh.’
Nick Johnson – Homered in back-to-back games that he started (Friday and Sunday). He was in good spirits after the game, smiling in the locker room.
Danny Duffy – Left yesterday’s game with what is being described as “medial left elbow tightness.” Sounds like medial up a different starter.
Alcides Escobar – 3-for-3, 2 runs and 1 RBI. He’s been on and off my teams so many times the elastic is completely shot.
Jeff Francoeur – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs with his first Frenchy fly of the season, or Freedom Fly if you’re still harboring shizz.
Desmond Jennings – Has now missed six games with a sore knee. Instead of day-to-day, they could’ve told us day-to-week. Might’ve been helpful.
Ben Zobrist – Slam and legs with a side of mash (3 hits!) and Elliot Johnson also slammed, legged and mashed. Johnson is 7 for his last 13 with two steals and a homer. Could be a nice pickup if you’re struggling at MI. BTW, if someone asks you if you’re struggling at MI, your answer is IM.
Carlos Marmol – Since the start this year, he looked like Apollo vs. Ivan Drago in the exhibition match. Finally, the Cubs threw in the towel with Marmol’s head landing on top of it and on the Disgraceful List.
Bryan LaHair – Since Friday’s Sell, he’s 1-for-14 with 6 Ks. Cust kayin’.
Jeff Samardzija – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. The best thing I can say about Samardetc. is I wish I owned him on all my teams.
Rickie Weeks – His wrist showed no breaks and his bat showed no hits.
Kevin Youkilis – Cleared to swing a bat. Sounds like positive news for a guy at Hedonism after a cliff diving accident.
Will Middlebrooks – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. If Youk pushes Middlebrooks to Triple-A, there’s gonna be a letter written to Jimmy Breslin from a Son of Sam Horn.
Matt Kemp – Left yesterday’s game aggravating his tight hamstring. Said he’s going for an MRI, but will only miss a game. Um, well, guess we can hope. How do we get this hammy cured? Because those are delicious.
Juan Rivera – Could miss two months with a ruptured hamstring tendon. Dude, c’mon, the day of rupture isn’t until December 21st.
“Just because we share some organs doesn’t mean you can’t hit 2 two-run homers for each of us!” Josh Hamilton had a night that makes you feel like you’re seven years old again. You remember it. When the birds chirped, it made you smile. When your dad carried you on his shoulders, you were on top of the world. When you peed the bed, no one tried to commit you to rehab. People pinched your cheeks without you having to pay some stranger on Craigslist $75. You’d throw a pebble into the lake without worrying if you hit someone in the head and blinded them if your insurance would cover it. A time of joy. Wonder. No Splenda. That’s what Josh Hamilton did for us last night. And he also gave his stupid fantasy owners 4 friggin’ homers, going 5-for-5 with 4 runs and 8 RBIs. Why don’t I have him on every team?! I would not try and sell him high because if he stays healthy (it doesn’t have to be that remote of a chance, you cynical bastard), you have an MVP. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Adrian Beltre – 2-for-5 with a homer. Pfft, wake me when you hit three more!
Scott Downs – Angels say Downs will be ready to return by Wednesday. The Sciosciapath still considers him their closer. Downs goes Frieri! Downs goes Frieri! Yeah, worked better when he was on the Blue Jays with Frasor.
Chris Sale – Last week, Ventura anointed Sale the closer. So…he brought him into the 8th inning yesterday. Plausible explanation: He wanted his best reliever in a close game. Also, plausible: Sale is not the closer. Also, plausible: After all of those Nolan Ryan noogies, Robin Ventura doesn’t know how many innings there are in a game. Addison Reed got the save with another perfect inning. He could easily be the closer…Or Santiago…Or Sale. It’s basically a closerf**k.
Dale Thayer – Literally, within five minutes of me dropping Cashner and picking up Thayer, he was blowing the game. You still don’t believe The Closepocalypse is real? He got lucky on a foul ball by Scutaro that was nearly a homer and another ball hit a baserunner. I’m holding Thayer for now, but I wouldn’t be surprised if someone else closed the next Padres game.
Josh Thole – Mets placed him on the 7-day DL with a concussion. Hey, I’m no doctor, but from what I’ve gleamed from five minutes of noodling around WebMD and watching how other players have reacted to concussions. Are we sure the DL for concussions should be less time than the norm?
Jon Rauch – Got the save yesterday. One small step for Rauch and one giant step for men over six-ten. Francisco had worked the last three days, so this save for Rauch just shows the pecking order behind Francisco and some flashy neck tattoos. “Yo, I’m gonna peacock my neck!” That’s Rauch after reading up on pick-up artistry.
Dan Haren – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER vs. the Twins? This doubled the amount of runs the Twins scored in all previous games combined. I don’t want to keep pointing out the same thing, but Rudy said in the preseason this would be the year Haren falls apart. So far, Haren’s ERA is 4.19.
Scott Diamond – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. In the box score, it said S. Diamond and I thought Selma Diamond pitched 17 years after her death. She had sass, but not that much, I guess.
Ryan Doumit – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. I believe I said in the preseason that Doumit would be more valuable than Mauer this year. And that’s me kinda paraphrasing me!
Albert Pujols – 0-for-4 to lower his average to .190. This isn’t just bad for Albert; this stinks for all Pujolses.
David Robertson – Got the save yesterday as if there was any doubt. I’d put his over/under for saves at 32. Over/under for Ks at 110. And over/under for times A-Rod checks out his package at 17.
Raul Ibanez – 2-for-3 with his 4th and 5th homers. Seems like the Yankees have been benching him against lefties, which will hurt his overall numbers. And being 40-something. That’ll hurt those numbers too.
Andy Pettitte – Will start vs. the M’s on Sunday. He’s been anything but outstanding during his tune up. Bernie Williams, “Did someone say they want me to tune up the guitar?” No, Bernie. Against the M’s is a solid matchup, but unless things are really hard for you I wouldn’t Pettitte, even though it usually works the opposite way.
Randall Delgado – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. After his last start (8 IP, 2 ER), I said I’d watch him this start. Well, I didn’t because I was doing the podcast that is coming later today with anutter special guest. But the box score is telling me, you should pick up Delgado in all leagues deeper than 14 team mixed and possibly even shallower, depending on your starter shituation. He’s only 22 years old and he could have a 9+ K-rate. Yes, I basically love all Braves young pitchers, but they’re an easy group to love.
Ryan Dempster – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. He obviously should be owned everywhere. His ERA won’t stay at 1.02, but he does get solid Ks and can have a mid-3 ERA.
Omar Infante – Hit his 6th homer yesterday. Dah! Just when Stanton finally passed him.
Anibal Sanchez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks to lower his ERA to 2.01. Are we waiting until October to thank me for pushing everyone into drafting this guy?
Aneury Rodriguez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks. His minor league numbers are pretty blehtastic and if you pick him up he may give you an aneurysm.
Will Middlebrooks – Left yesterday’s game with hamstring tightness. As of right now, Middlebrooks looks like he might miss a day or two. This comes just hours after the Red Sox announced they were considering using Middlebrooks in the outfield. They’re also considering just using Youkilis as a ticket taker at Gate E.
Daniel Bard – 7 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 1 K. Outside of AL-Only leagues, I’m kinda surprised people still own him.
Yoenis Cespedes – Was a late scratch because of his wrist. Sounds itchy!
Carlos Beltran – 2-for-4, 6 RBIs and two homers, or more homers in one game than Pujols has all year, and nearly more RBIs. Beltran is The Great Zombino!
Ian Kennedy – 7 IP, 6 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks. Seriously, don’t mess with the 1927 Cardinals.
Carlos Marmol – Dale Sveum said Marmol may not get the job back. But he has a 12+ walk rate, doesn’t that count for something?! I could see dropping Marmol in most leagues. He was dropped in my RCL and an NL-Only league and no one’s going near him. I would grab Dolis or Russell, in that order. (Or reverse order if you’re dyslexic.)
Miguel Tejada – The Orioles signed him. It was part of a deal Dan Duquette made with the devil: The Orioles can be in first place at the 1/6th point of the season, but then you must make transactions that make you look silly.
Yovani Gallardo – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. As I’ve been saying to people, Gallardo had a 6.23 ERA last April and you still drafted him this year as your top starter. We’re in May now and he just threw a solid game vs. a tough hitting team. By August, you will have forgotten he was miserable in April, and then by next April you’ll be frustrated again when he’s wretched.
Ryan Zimmerman – He returned from the DL to go 1-for-4 with a run. Right back at, huh, Ryan?
Henry Rodriguez – 2/3 IP, 2 ER. For a guy you got off of waivers, he’s still doing okay. Don’t pull the rip cord on him yet.
A.J. Burnett – 8 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks, which comes on the heels of a 2 2/3 IP, 12 ER outing. You know what he’s doing, right? Here, “Ooh, I’m gonna pick up Burnett.” BAM, awful outing! “Eff that in the eff hole, I’m dropping his ass.” BOOM, good outing! He’s totally messing with you.
Andrew McCutchen – 1-for-3 with his 1st homer. The Dread Pirate finally makes his nickname about his hair again.
Francisco Cordero – 1/3 IP, 5 ER. Move your small children and closers away from the windows! The Closepocalypse is coming through! Blue Jays might go to Jason Frasor for the next save chance, but, let’s just say, I didn’t run to the wire to pick him up. Darren Oliver is another option, but, yeah, didn’t pick him up either.
Ryan Vogelsong – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners, 1 K as Vogelsong plays that sweet doctor’s office music I talked about last week. Won’t excite you for good or bad, which is sometimes what you need.
Jarrod Parker – 7 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA is at 1.80. I’m being serious when I say this, but in any leagues of 12 team mixed or shallower, there’s no reason to have a team ERA over 3.50.
Josh Reddick – 1-for-3 with his 6th homer. Think this is the first time I’ve mentioned him, or if you’re feeling punchy, it’s Reddick’s bow. Hard for me to get fully behind A’s hitters, but he now has 4 homers in the last ten games.
J.J. Hardy – 2-for-4 with his 7th homer to raise his average to .244. Meanwhile, Nick Markakis also homered, going 3-for-5 to raise his average to .246. Member when Markakis was really good? Makes you nostalgikis.
Alex Avila – Will miss at least two games with a sore patella. My pharmacist’s name is Patella. I don’t think they’re related.
Casey Blake – Retired yesterday. In remembrance of Casey Blake, let’s not forget the time he painted a table to look like a soccer ball and Manny kicked it and missed a week with a sore toe.
It would be great if we can attach each team to a Razzball Commenter handle. Please fill out the below form so we can add your handle to the Master Standings page (note: you can also enter this for a leaguemate if you like).
Tennessee Mash (RCL 25) is our early leader with 110 points, followed by Playin’ The Field (Beef SAGNOF!) and The Fredsies (ECFBL). The Mash have been led offensively by Josh Hamilton, who has been a steal so far at pick #40. Earlier they had picked Joey Votto, Carlos Gonzalez, and Jay Bruce. Those 4 have hit .320 with 22 home runs and 73 RBI, and added 10 steals. After drafting Chase Utley in round 5, TM selected their first pitcher, David Price. 9th-round pick Gio Gonzalez has been stellar, with an ERA of 1.82 and WHIP under 1. In the last 9 rounds the Mash added Kenley Jansen, Aroldis Chapman, and Jonny Venters, who have contributed 6 wins, 2 saves, and 62 strikeouts, with an ERA of 1.02. Congratulations, Tennessee Mash!
League Toughness: Also, congratulations to RCL 9, the top league with an LCI of 105. League Competitive Index is based on the total stats for the whole league. The index page can be found here. The points formula is: HR + SB + R/3 + RBI/3 + (H-.27*AB) + 2*W + 1.5 * SV + K / 5 + IP – (ER+H+BB/ 2).
Waiver Buzz: The Razzball nation was hopping Friday as everyone rushed to pick up new closer Scott Downs and freshly called up youngsters Mike Trout and Bryce Harper. Downs and Harper are 100% owned now, while Mike Trout is on waivers in 1 league.
Expert League: Mastersball Carey (Ryan Carey) continues to lead, but Rudy shot up to second place with a 19.5-point gain. Craig Kimbrel, Santiago Casilla, Zack Greinke and Brandon Morrow led Rudy to a pitching line of 65 K/6 wins/6 saves/2.08/1.20.
Trades: 9 more trades were processed this week, bringing the total to 51 involving 165 players. A 10-player swap in the ECFBL included Jose Reyes, Jose Bautista, Albert Pujols, Matt Holliday, Yovani Gallardo, and Jon Lester. Pujols was also traded in an 8-player deal in RCL 46. Hanley Ramirez and Clayton Kershaw were included in that transaction. Bryce Harper was used as a trade chip in The Dread Pirate Returns. He was dealt with Justin Morneau for Billy Butler. You can find all the trades in the fantasy baseball forums.
Weekly Leaders
All about The WHIP (RCL 43) hit .285 with 55 runs, 18 home runs, 55 RBI, and 4 steals to take offensive honors this week. PETER GAMMONS (RCL 24) had a great pitching line with 16 decisions (11 wins/5 saves) and ratios of 1.80 and 1.09.
Average: .332 (Broth’s Baseball Stars – Fausto or Roberto?)
Runs: 58 (PublicEnemy #1 – Ones are GOOD right?)
HR: 19 (The Otters – RCL 24)
RBI: 57 (Das Haycist – RCL 20)
SB: 15 (All I Do is Nguyen – RCL 25, Worldwide Suicide – Ones are GOOD right?, Moody Broodies – Sphinctory Staff Inflection )
Carlos Gonzalez and Jay Bruce powered Tennessee Mash to the top of the standings with a total of 8 home runs and 21 RBI this week. They also scored 14 runs and stole 4 bases while hitting .432. Tennessee’s pitching was even better, with David Price (2 wins/12 K/1.17/0.85), Brandon Morrow (2 wins/12 K/0.71/1.03), and Gio Gonzalez (1 win/13 K/1.50/1.00) pacing the staff.
