Nicholas Tropeano sounds like a sitcom character, doesn’t he?  Like that’s his real name, but he goes by the nickname of The Boof or simply Boof.  Then only his mom, Mrs. Tropeano calls him Nicholas.  Some girls call him Nick, but Boof or The Boof, that’s what you know him as.  At one point, he even went to a technical school with Arthur Fonzarelli and Joseph Tribbiani Jr.  I went over The Boof briefly the other day when he threw a five inning, meh start.  There I said, “Breezed through the minors as only an Astros prospect could.  What I mean is they don’t have a ton of major league options, so if someone does okay, they promote the crap out of them.  In Triple-A, he had a 8.7 K/9, 0.99 WHIP and a 3.03 ERA in 124 2/3 IP.”  And that’s me quoting me!  This Buy is more for AL-Only leagues and keepers (I’ll go over mixed league starters to stream in the post).  Shoot, this Boof buy could even be considered more for 2015 fantasy baseball.  Now, maybe I’m really just having residual feelings for what Collin McHugh and Dallas Keuchel did this year, but Tropeano looks like a $1 flyer in very deep leagues that could reap similar benefits.  I know it’s far from glamorous to put faith in Astros, but I’m likely to call Tropeano a sleeper for 2015 and point back to this post next year.  I’d love if his velocity was a tad faster to go with his nasty change, but The Boof could pay dividends for savvy owners in deep leagues.  Ayyyyy! *pounds wall, jukebox turns on*  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Edward Mujica – SAGNOF is a activity done by vultures without a soul, and I wanna peck the eyes out of Edward, The Last of the Mujicans, if he doesn’t get saves and just keeps giving up runs.

Drew Storen – Every once in a while a guy comes along that not only takes over the closer job, but looks better than his predecessor.  If only Soriano would’ve got canned earlier in the year, so Storen could’ve helped me with my save lead preserves.  Toast points!

Aaron Sanchez – Unlike Storen, Sanchez is on the other side of the SAGNOF spectrum.  The guy that is better than the closer, and is supposedly put in as closer, then he gets repeatedly called on in the 7th inning.  John Gibbons can eat a banana!  Actually, anyone can, unless you’re allergic.  Check with your doctor first before following this advice.

Wade Davis – Was a bit surprised to see him on waivers in so many leagues.  Sure, he’s only getting saves now, but he’s ranked sixth for all RPs for the whole year on our Player Rater, and if he gets a few more saves, he’ll end up fourth for all relievers.  Behind only Kimbrel, Holland and K-Rod.  By the by, our Player Rater is better than ESPN’s, but you knew that.

Kevin Quackenbush – Fun Fact!  Quackenbush’s outgoing voicemail message is voiced by Gilbert Gottfried.

Josh Fields – Maybe it’s Tony Sipp getting Astros saves.  Maybe it’s Chad Qualls.  Maybe you don’t care because you’re not this desperate.  Well, excuse me!  Ooh, I’m swooping my one wispy piece of hair over my bald spot and don’t need a closer.  Aren’t you Mr. Fantastic?!

Stream-o-Nator – *looking through pitchers, not seeing a guy name Stream-o-Nator, calls up ESPN’s Fantasy Department, put on hold while they gather people around the phone so they can laugh at another person who calls into the Fantasy Department, asks for a player named Stream-o-Nator, hears stifled laughter, hangs up phone, cries into mother’s bosom*  Stop your crying, little man?!  There’s no exact starters at this point, because everyone is either streamable or droppable.  Would I stream Vidal Nuno?  Oh, hellz yeah.  Yes, a ‘Z on hell’ yes.  Would I consider Jimmy Nelson?  I’d prefer not to, but I would if desperate enough.  Chase Anderson streamable?  Mos Def, Ms. Fat Booty.  Everyone is streamable if the shituation is dire enough.

Hitter-Tron – See what I said about the Stream-o-Nator, but replace pitchers with hitters and replace Ms.Fat Booty with a well-buttered bundt cake tin.

Tyler Flowers – You don’t send me to waivers for Tyler Flowers anymore… Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in and I was singing my favorite Streisand song.  *thinking*  …Okay, a top 5 Streisand song, it’s so hard to choose!

James Loney – In the last week, I’ve said about Loney, “Stop bankrupting my boner, Curt Schilling!…Gabe Kaplan in the Battle of the Network Stars…David Bowie asked The Wallflowers to unsing Heroes…”  Hmm, I’d never get a job for Zagat’s pulling quotes like that.

Gregor Blanco – The White Russian has been tipplering the scales near-.350 in the last week and has speed.  Yes, part of that week is being buoyed by his recent trip to Coors, but you can’t fault The White Russian riding on the back of a beer.

Dayan Viciedo – How many homers in one week does he need to convince you to pick him up?  5?  Wow, you’re greedier than me.  He has four in the last nine games.  Just missed your arbitrary cutoff.  Day-amn!

Gerardo Parra – Has hit in every game he’s started in September, and he’s only sat out one game, so that means *doing math in my head*  Taste the rainbow!  Hmm, my math is off there.

Alejandro De Aza – He had some shizzy luck this year.  De Aza could’ve easily been a fantasy number three to four outfielder for all mixed leagues if he just would’ve been the starter.  Oh, well, can’t cry over spilled milk as they say in war-torn Bosnia where all they have is donkey’s milk.

Jordy Mercer – Shrugs.  He’s hot, I don’t know.

Jed Lowrie – Didn’t do much all year, and he’s still not hitting for a lot of power, but he is hitting for average and he has to play every day because he’s the only non-catcher on the A’s.

Jose Ramirez – Didja know Jose Ramirez is used similarly to John Doe in South America?  “We got a Jose Ramirez here with his jort pockets turned inside out.  Third time this week we’ve found one like this.”  That’s from CSI: Bogota.

Scooter Gennett – If Scooter doesn’t wear a shiny green jacket every day of his life, then I have but one reaction.

Josh Rutledge – Basically, the Buy column this week is like the guy in Fargo who opens the back of his van for Malvo to buy black market items, only the van is stocked with MIs and SAGNOF.

Xander Bogaerts – In two weeks of September, he’s hit as many homers (3) as he hit in any whole month up until this point.  Also, pushing his average over .350 for the month.  Best month for Bogaerts since his image hawked Diet Coke, before that you have to go back about 40 years for a good month.  Talk about a dry spell!

Joe Panik – When you pick him up, please call up a friend and tell them, “I’m about to hit the Panik button.  Express to me in 150 words or less why I shouldn’t.”  Preferably a friend that doesn’t play fantasy baseball.

SELL

Rafael Soriano – See, blurb on Storen.  Then sigh.  Then release Soriano.  Simon’s not going to say anything, just do it.

Jimmy Rollins – “YES!!!”  Okay, Ryne Sandberg, take it easy.

Elvis Andrus – “The Rangers are holding him back for the playoffs, right?”  Comatose Rangers Fan, you might want to sit down.

Giancarlo Stanton – News sounds promising for next year, but you can drop him in redraft leagues.  On a related note, CBS might want to consider changing the name of their “Eye On Baseball” updates for Headley and Giancarlo.

Josh Hamilton – You staring at Josh Hamilton on your fantasy team, wondering if you should drop him is sad.  You’re depressing people around you.  Please don’t make someone step in and ask you if everything’s okay.  You’re putting people in an uncomfortable situation, and now they have less time to wait for people to like their pithy Facebook status and more time spent on worrying about your mental state.  You’re so selfish, I hope you’re happy!

Chris Davis – Who knew his nickname Crush came from crushing Adderall pills and sprinkling them on his popcorn?  I did not.  I’d love to be a Jeff Goldblum on the wall when Chris Davis and Carlos Ruiz were having a conversation.  “Yo, what’s up?”  “The sky, the birds, the tree leaves, the tree leaves are up, the planes, the clouds, the clouds are up, the high apple pie in the sky hopes are up.  What’s up with you?”  “The ceiling fan, the roof, a guy waving in a hot air balloon, the tree leaves are up for me too, my blood sugar says the doctor, test scores for inner city youth, my hand that I’m holding above my head.”  Apparently, it’s hard to get amped up naturally for a sub-.200 average.  If you own Davis in a redraft league, you can drop him.

 
  1. J-FOH says:
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    I want to draw out some classic cram up in here so I will ask Tyler Flowers or Russell Martin ROS?

    LOL! HA!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      The acronyms really put it over the top… Reminds me of Paul George’s comments on the Ray Rice video… Cougs was not happy, being a Pacers fan…

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: Indianans? what da ya do!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Honestly, she said Paul George and I thought she was talking about a hair stylist…

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: I always think boy George

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Sam Smith?

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Grey: kevin smith in drag?

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  You? Okay, sounds good!

  2. Sam says:
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    I’m using chris Davis as my 3B I’m in the playoffs and he was doing well for me last two weeks getting hits, runs and BB. Who do you say I should pick up as a 3b to replace him? Kindly appreciated keep up solid work!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Who’s available?

      • sammy says:
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        @Grey: I am going to pick up Uribe based solely because of his avg my other option is plouffe, 12 man keeper league

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Cool

    • Birdmann says:
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      @Sam: If you want an answer give more details, league size, players avail, scoring system would help.

    • Abdoozy says:
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      @Sam: I’d say Beltre, Miggy, or Longoria would be solid pickups…

      • A Wesley Snipes Life says:
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        @Abdoozy: donaldson over longo. do it.

  3. Slowmez says:
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    Drop Bruce or Cuddyer for one or two of the hitters listed above? Need every offensive category I can get through next week to win the ship.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Bruce

  4. rafi says:
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    aw, no rusney castillo recommendation? pawtucket’s post-season comes to an end this weekend. i’m hoping he can come off my bench and fill in for beltran for last 2 weeks of the year. really whatever he does should be an improvement on beltran.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Hopefully he doesn’t just bring a ton of hype…

      • rafi says:
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        @Grey: yeah, that would put me in a pickle. though usually you would like that from a cuban…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Mmm, I’m hungry….

  5. JeF With 1 F says:
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    Sup Girl

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Sup

  6. SteveNZ says:
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    C’mon. The Way We Were has to be #1.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Haha

      • SteveNZ says:
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        @Grey: This time next week I’ll be in your time zone.

        • SteveNZ says:
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          @SteveNZ: Will have just arrived in your time zone, is what I meant to say.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @SteveNZ: our time zone can’t wait. Bring something new zealandy

            • SteveNZ says:
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              @J-FOH: How about a strange accent?

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Haha

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Aw sooky! Getting my haircut right now so it’s grown in nice by then

          • SteveNZ says:
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            @Grey: Had mine cut last week!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Lambda!

              • SteveNZ says:
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                @Grey: Are you referring to the point on the skull where the two parietal bones and the occipital bone come together?

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Nope! Lambda is the symbol for same wavelength, was saying we were on it (though not as much on lambda)

                  • SteveNZ says:
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                    @Grey: Ha, that’s right. I’ve seen it before on the Razz but had forgotten what it meant. We’re totally Lambda!

                    I’m trying to say ‘totally’ a lot more as preparation for LA.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Good move! And gag me with a spoon, everyone here does!

  7. Justin says:
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    Weekly league is coming down to R primarily, but possibly AVG too. Start 7-game Revere who has been chilly in last 7 or 6-game Wil Myers who has been not so chilly in last 7?

    • Justin says:
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      @Justin: Bruce and Hosmer are also options for final spot, but with only 6 games per, and neither lighting up the R’s, I didn’t think I’d go that way …