Yesterday, Kyle Schwarber was demoted to Triple-A to clear his head.  But Joe Buck would’ve cleared it for him!  Guess Schwarber is just one less thing for Joe Buck to plug.  Joe Buck is now the new Crying Jordan meme.  Also, yesterday, Jason Heyward was DL’d.  Right now, Joe Maddon is like, “All I need is Ian Happ.   And this chair.  All I need is Ian Happ, this chair and this remote control.  And Tommy La Stella.  All I need is Ian Happ, this chair, this remote control and Tommy La Stella.  And these Buddy Holly glasses.  Happ, chair, remote, La Stella and these glasses!  That’s all I need!”  I’m sure Schwarber will be back at some point, but, in most mixed leagues, you can move on.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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When you’re a skinny, nerdy, teenager with a 24 inch waist, and an unhealthy obsession with Gal Gadot, breakouts are no bueno. In fact, it can put a real damper on those “extended” bathroom breaks, where you’re just trying to get a “handle” on your burgeoning adulthood. You sit there in the mirror getting familiar with yourself like the protagonist in a Diablo Cody movie with her pants off. So it might come as shock to you, high school reader, that some times, breakouts, can in fact be great. I’m of course talking about minor league breakouts! I’m a minor league writer, not a dermatologist brah! Over the years, some of the most important moves I’ve made in my dynasty leagues have been adding mid-season breakouts from the wavier wire. Don’t believe me? Take a look at some of the names added last year in my 30 team dynasty league’s mid-season signing period. Luis Urias, Chance Adams, Koda Glover, Seth Lugo, Ben Gamel, Max Schrock, Greg Allen, Shed Long, Jose Albertos, and Fernando Tatis Jr, just to name a few. Keep in mind this is a 30 team dynasty league where over 900+ prospects are owned, and almost half the teams are managed by prospect writers. Still some good names right? The point I’m trying to make here is, there’s always new talent, breakouts, and undervalued assets in every format. With half of the full season leagues in their all-star breaks, let’s take a look at some of the names making hay here in the early going. Today we’ll take a look at the hitters, we’ll go into the other side of the ball with pitching breakouts on Sunday.

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It’s getting to that point in the season where it’s time to put up or shut up. This is quite similar to how I prefer when my dates. I like it when they put out and shut up. Despite the recent mistrial outcome I’m quite sure Bill Cosby agrees. I can’t believe how much of a creep Doctor Huxtable turned out to be. The dude ran an OB/GYN practice out of his basement. Come on! You can’t make this shit up. And before you go defending old Heathcliff, the dude is as innocent as O.J. Case closed.

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There’s numerous ways you can choose to earn funds on Thursday’s FanDuel slate, but one starter stands above the rest. The 23-year-old Astros prodigy David Paulino looks to wreak havoc on the Athletics, a weak lineup that has just a .319 wOBA versus righties. The A’s and their 25% K-rate will look like shook ones against Paulino, who has a 9.15 K/9 and a 2.29 BB/9 in his four starts this year. Paulino is coming off of a six inning outing against the Red Sox where he gave up just one earned run, so it looks like he’s settling in to the big leagues. Avoiding Paulino at just $7,400 will be the start of your ending, so just step to him in your lineups.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Since it was an afternoon game, Ted and I settled in to watch Max Scherzer vs. the Marlins.  First inning and the slider was working.  2nd, 3rd, 4th innings and the Marlins had no chance.  5th inning and Ted demanded I take him out and play catch with him.

115 degrees in the shade and we’re back in for the 6th inning, and Scherzer hasn’t missed a beat while missing the bats.  Everyone knows everything there is to know about Scherzer.  He is at least the 3rd best starter in baseball, and likely second best, though who’s first?  Sale?  Then Kershaw and Scherzer?  I don’t know, Kershaw’s looked pretty human at times this year.  Sale, Scherzer then Kershaw?  Sounds about right, but need to search for other things to talk about with him.  Hmm…Well, there’s always his android eyes.

Now back for the 7th inning and it’s more no-hitter, and, Jesus Christopher Ramirez, the Nats announcers are a bore.  Let’s go mute for the 8th inning, and Dietrich gets, uh, diet rich of sliders.  Now, Ellis and goodbye no-hitter.  Of course, that was the point Dusty should’ve lifted Scherzer since even the announcers said Scherzer says he doesn’t want to ever throw past 120 pitches.  You guessed it, he went past 120 pitches, and lost the lead, but, once again, a dazzler — 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (2 hits), 11 Ks, ERA at 2.09.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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I must say, I’m not too excited about the waiver wire in either my NL-only or AL-only leagues this week. Not that I ever feel like there is a ton to choose from, but at least up until this point in the season I’ve felt like there are almost always one or two guys in each league that either got called up under the radar/got surprisingly shoved into a starting rotation/fell into a job due to injury/etc, that had at least a distant shot at mixed-league relevancy. This week, though, I’m not so sure.

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This might be the only Razzball article where you will find a RuPaul’s Drag Race quote, some lyrics from the Broadway musical Wicked, a reference to Matt Harvey’s sex appeal AND a Tyra banks gif. It’s no wonder some people on this site think I’m female! Here I was thinking it was just my name…

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Hello, I hope everyone is enjoying their work day.  I welcome you all to another wonderful DFS slate on FanDuel.  I know all the way back in week 1 I said I’d try to never recommend a game in Coors Field…well that ends today.  Sorry, but you can’t ignore the game in Coors Field.  There’s plenty of ways to make sure your lineup isn’t all chalk.  Making multiple lineups and stacking each team or stack a whole team 1-8 across a few lineups and I’m talking right down to the catchers.  Tony Wolters?  Sure, if he’s playing and not Tom Murphy.  What about Chris Herrmann?  Yeah, him too.  The usual suspects are in play as well including Mark Reynolds, Nolan Arenado, Jake Lamb, Charlie Blackmon, and Paul Goldschmidt.  Those OF bats ain’t too shabby either, so check and see if Gregor Blanco, Carlos Gonzalez, and/or David Peralta are playing.  Just remember: don’t use either of these pitchers, though…DUH.  Colorado is playing too well for Walker to make a difference and Hoffman is really really bad.

Now on to the picks…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

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Our Commissioner Manfred presses his intercom, “Please escort in the Guatemalan baseball stitchers.”  Manfred’s secretary brings six men dressed in blanket ponchos and straw hats.  Their leader steps forward, “Mr. Manfred, the Capri Suns you have us using to juice the balls is not working.”  Their leader pulls out a baseball that is dripping with Ecto Cooler.  Manfred turns in his seat, silhouetted with the setting sun.  He lights a Virginia Slim 120 and pulls, coughing slightly.  “I no longer want the balls juiced.  Now….I want you and your friends to go to Dodger Stadium and blow.”  “Mr. Manfred, we are not sex workers!”  “Not blow like that!  Put your lips together and blow.”  “Like Bogey and Bacall?”  “Yes!  Now go!”  …And this was how Dodger Stadium became a launching pad.  Yesterday, Corey Seager (4-for-5, 6 RBIs) hit three homers (10, 11, 12), Yasmani Grandal (3-for-5, 2 runs) hit his 7th homer and Cody Launchangler (1-for-3, 2 RBIs) did it again, hitting his 22nd.  Granted, someone needs to put Cody Launchangler in carbonite for Cooperstown — we can’t risk something happening to him playing baseball! — but this Seager guy is pretty good too, huh?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Earned run averages are taking a beating in the Razzball Commenter Leagues this year.  It seems like every week when I run through the weekly data there is a large number of teams with 6+ ERAs for the week.  It makes sense, with MLBers on pace to set another league wide home run record that (mostly) no pitchers are safe.  Where a 3.50 ERA used to mean you were middle of the league, now you could be leading your league with that mark.  The average ERA for the RCLs is a 3.96 right now.  That seems high, in fact, all of these numbers seem high.  So, I compared them to last season’s end of year stats.  The average ERA for the RCLs last season was 3.71.  We haven’t even hit the hot summer months yet when the bats really come alive and we’re already looking at a 0.25 ERA hike.  I can’t be certain, but I wouldn’t expect the end of season ERA to be lower than it is right now.  There are only 117 of our 876 teams (13.35%) with an ERA of 3.50 or lower.  Last season we had nearly double that number to finish the season, 226 of 1020 (22.15%).  The leader in the ERA clubhouse currently is Team Visbisky of league Viz Versus The Commenters with a 2.642 ERA in only 265 IP.  If we were to use my arbitrary weekly cutoff limit of 40 IP for 11 weeks and find a team with 440+ IP, that number jumps to a 2.761 ERA by Guys and Dahls (great team name by the way) of Super League fame.  Interestingly, the current worst team ERA is also from the Super League.  Long Dongs is sporting a 5.576 ERA in 500 IP, good for DFL in the RCLs.  I should also note that 3 of the 4 robot managed teams are currently in the top 100 for ERA, with one checking in at 17th.  So, should we all run out and trade for Clayton Kershaw to offset this high ERA nonsense?  I don’t think so, personally (although, maybe Long Dongs should).  With guys like Jason Vargas and Ervin Santana out there doing their thing and Lance McCullers and Robbie Ray that could likely be had for cheaper, I don’t think Kershaw is necessary.  It might cause you to think about the value of Alex Wood or Jose Berrios a little differently though.  Something to keep in mind, but for the most part, everyone is in the same ERA boat.  Just remember, that 3.70 ERA might not be so bad after all.  More ERA talk and more stats from the week that was, week 11 below:

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