The Twins’ lineup could generate power for any remote control, because they’re filled with Double-A batteries.  High five me!  C’mon!  You don’t appreciate a good snap!  I’m zinging over here!  Fine, be that way.  The Twins traded the 29-year-old Eduardo Nunez to the Giants, which makes him the youngest player the Giants have ever acquired and the cheapest player the Twins have ever traded away.  A double first!  Which sounds almost like how you picture your ex describing herself on Tinder.  So, Eduardo Nunez goes from a neutral park to a pitching park and from a lineup that could be best described with their two-hole hitter, Grossman, to a lineup best described as “in the middle of a panic.”  Or a Panik in the middle.  This move likely doesn’t change his value much, but if anything it takes him down a notch.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Entering the 2016 season, there were plenty of reasons to be optimistic about Miami Marlins superstar outfielder Giancarlo Stanton. Pitcher-friendly Marlins Park underwent renovations to move in and lower the outfield fences. One of the greatest hitters in MLB history, Barry Bonds, was hired as the team’s new hitting coach. His supporting cast was largely constructed of players such as Christian Yelich, Marcell Ozuna, and Dee Gordon who were entering their peak years. He appeared to be fully recovered from the devastating facial and hand injuries that he suffered over the previous two seasons, and even switched to a new bat in order to ease the pressure on his hands when he swings. Everything seemed to be in place for a career year for the 26-year-old slugger. However, things didn’t exactly go according to plan early on. What went wrong and has Stanton righted the ship?

Let’s take a look at Stanton’s profile to determine what’s going on with the young slugger. Here are a few thoughts and observations:

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Bossman junior sounds like the name of a main guy you have to fight right before you fight the real main guy at the end of a level in some 1980’s Nintendo game. He’s not exactly the boss, but he’s harder to beat than any other enemy in that level. Melvin Upton Jr. claims that his name change had nothing to do with getting a fresh start or trying to change his luck after two piss poor seasons in Atlanta. And when I say “piss poor” that might be an understatement. If he wanted to change his name to reflect his time with the Braves he could have gone with Sh*thead Upton Jr. That first name, by the way, is actually a legitimate name. I believe it’s commonly pronounced shi-theed. Ain’t that some sh*t!

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REL baseball logo newWe’re heading into arguably the biggest week of the inaugural REL league! Trade deadline… Is it just me, or is the rumor mill louder every year? Everyone loves just throwing thousands of strands of pasta on the wall in the hope that one sticks so they can feel smart. I never understood that method for pasta, it’s a waste of friggin’ food!

With real-life trades having an impact on REL rosters, there is still plenty of time for fortunes to change and runs to be made. However, it’s going to be tough to unseat the NL leading Nats from their stranglehold on the standings. The AL is much more wide open though, with 5 teams at 100+ points and the Tigers in striking distance as well at 98. Here’s how week 17 went down in the 2016 REL League:

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It’s a very scary thought to pick the two highest priced pitchers on DraftKings, but that’s just what to do today. If you’re afraid of us having to fill out the remainders of our lineup with players from the likes of the Flying Squirrels and the Muckdogs, you aren’t far off. However, on this day it will be worth it, as both aces I’m asking you to pick, Johnny Cueto and Jose Fernandez, are the best we have to offer.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 1st to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to ourDFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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Gerrit Cole‘s start yesterday — 9 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.78 — wasn’t the most impressive start.  *walks around, shaking people out of their slumber*  Hey, what’s going on, guys and five girl readers?  Was it the opening sentence?  Okay, so Gerrit Cole didn’t look as good as, say, Dylan Bundy over five innings.  Cole looked solid, salt-of-the-earth, lumberjack-shirt-for-a-tablecloth-middle-class-sturdy-as-oak-workman-like for nine innings.  By the way, you know what they call a hyena with lines instead of spots?  Hyphena.  Take it, Highlights, it’s yours.  Do we have to have starters that are all lordy-me-I’m-fainting-with-a-handkerchief-to-my-forehead filled with upside?  Well, I’d like it, and Cole prolly has it somewhere in there.  *knocks on Cole’s chest*  Is a near-9 K/9 in there still?  Hello?  Okay, I think it is, but it’s just not answering now.  Maybe it’s taking a nap from Cole’s less-than-stellar K-rate.  That’s been the story of his season, actually.  Great results for real baseball, but a little lacking on the flash (7.5 K/9).  He’s still throwing hard (95 MPH), maybe he fell asleep while Contact was on late-night TV and woke up deciding to throw to contact.  Not sure, but if I had to bet, I’d bet every day on a 25-year-old who throws 95 returning to his previous flashy Ks while maintaining his excellent ERA results.  But there’s nothing wrong with a lumberjack shirt for a tablecloth.  It’s Murica!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh the deadline, where championships are dreamed about, and futures are mortgaged. Is there ever a time where the worlds of redraft and dynasty collide more? You have your redraft owners hoping their closers don’t lose their jobs, or that their hitters, and pitchers are moved to better surroundings. The dynasty owners are worried about those same things, but also hoping their blocked higher minors prospects get moved to greener pastures with opportunities waiting with a big league club. It’s also a time when veterans are moved out to make way for those potential future stars waiting in the wings. It’s a busy time for your humble Prospector. I have a lot of thoughts about prospects on the move, some got the call, some got the other kind of call, and some are waiting for one or the other. Obviously I’m alluding to a call from their doctors regarding their “tests results”….Actually I might have just had a flashback to that time I wrote for the Des Moines Medical Journal. Corn farm injuries are gruesome people.

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I just couldn’t help it, it was staring me right in the face. As I was going through the options for tonight’s slate and eliminating the ones that I have zero shot at rostering (Adam Wainwright, Archie Bradley) I kept looking at Duffey and Duffy as options and the double dose of Duff alliteration potential was too much to pass up. Danny Duffy and Tyler Duffey are more than just a grammar enthusiast’s amusement though, they are both legitimate options and probably the two I will be rostering as my starting pitchers, at least in GPPs. Danny has been stellar and I don’t believe anyone will need much convincing to get him in there against the Angels. The only hesitation I have here is that the Angels are not striking out this year. They are the same level the Royals were on last year, striking out 100 times less than the next nearest team. While that’s not an automatic “Avoid”, it’s something to think about. Tyler doesn’t give me much pause, mostly due to the opponent. The Braves are always a target, as their .652 team OPS is worst in the league by 30 points. Sure, Tyler has been inconsistent, but the promise has flashed here and there. The Braves are most likely using Gordon Beckham at DH, need I go on? I expect both pitchers to be contrarian plays tonight, you’re not running them out in cash games, but when looking to differentiate in a sea of GPP lineups, these are nice options. Plus, the pair only costs you $14,000. That’s basically one Clayton Kershaw! Let’s take a look at a few non-Duff options for tonight’s DraftKings slate:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 1st to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 1st to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh man!  So close to a Joel Youngblood sighting!  Melvin Upton was traded from the Padres to the Blue Jays, a team they are currently facing.  Is it me or does it seem like this year the teams are so cheap, they’re not even using their cell minutes.  If they’re playing against a team, then they’re trading with them.  That’s it.  Surprised the Indians haven’t been more active then.  Ya know, cause they could use smoke signals.  By the way, nothing you could ever say about Native Americans is more racist than a team being called Redskins or the Indians’ mascot.  So, go ahead, try!  Melvin Upton shook the B.J. name, but you can’t take the Upton out of the B.J.’s, Blue Jays, that is.  The trade of Upton takes him from a mediocre team to a solid offensive team, but moves him from the middle of the order to the lower third of the order and potentially even hurts his playing time if the Jays want to get Smoak into the lineup.  I’m gonna say all things being equal, it’s a push, which technically means all things are equal, so there!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This week’s most added fantasy player, Cleveland Indians outfielder Tyler Naquin (51.5% owned; +33.1% over the past week), isn’t like the majority of the most popular fantasy players to be plucked off of the waiver wire throughout the course of the MLB regular season. Despite being a mid-first round pick out of Texas A&M in the 2012 MLB draft, he was never really considered to be a top prospect. His skillset and minor league statistics suggested that he was likely to have a Gerardo Parra type of career in the majors, meaning that he fit the high floor, low ceiling mold rather than that of a true difference maker. Despite the blistering offensive start to his MLB career (.321/.380/.626 slash line), Naquin has been buried in the bottom third of the lineup for 193 of his 207 plate appearances this season. It seems as though his own team has been as slow to embrace him as the fantasy community. For those of you who are familiar with the X-Men franchise, he kind of reminds me of the Bobby Drake character, who’s also known as “Iceman.” Iceman isn’t one of the leaders of the group, nor is the most powerful mutant in the bunch. He’s one of the younger, newer members who just does his job without much fanfare. When in pressure situations, Naquin has proven to be one cool customer as well (1.094 OPS with men on base; .984 OPS in “high leverage” situations). Plus, since the Iceman had a bit of a romantic dalliance with the Rogue in the early X-Men films, there’s the obvious Naquin/Paquin connection to be made. I already discussed Naquin a couple of weeks ago here, so be sure to add him if he’s still hanging around on your waiver wire.

Here are a few other interesting adds/drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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