Today we go over the top 80 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball, which comes after we went over the top 60 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball, which came after the top 40 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball which followed the top 20 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball. Link dump! Tomorrow we hit the final 100 best outfielders, then on to the top 100 starters. It’s the best day of your life because I’m bestowing on you wonderful like your father never did. Don’t ask me to go see you play Little League though, that’s not happening. As always, my tiers and projections are noted and all of the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings are there. Where? There. Dur. Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball:
61. Carlos Beltran – This tier started in the top 60 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball. This tier goes from here until Markakis. I called this tier, “The childhood game of Hot Schmotato.” From this tier, a Zombino will dust the dirt off his uni and starting feeding off of pitchers’ breaking pitches and brain custard. It’s impossible to know which one it will be this year. I will also say about this tier that all of them, except Beltran, ranked much higher in last season’s Player Rater than they’re being ranked here, so, while they seem yawnstipating at best, they’re usually safer than the sexy, hump, hump upstart guys. The last thing I’ll say about this tier, if you don’t know what you could get from the outfielders in this tier, welcome to fantasy baseball. Good luck in your first year! 2015 Projections: 62/17/68/.257/4
62. Nick Markakis – This offseason, I said, “Between the Braves trying to unload their entire lineup, they signed Sparkakis. I get the feeling the Braves are trying to punt offense this year. They seem determined to trade away The Good Upton (which they did), and have already unloaded Heyward. This deal (for Markakis) actually makes sense for them. Finally, they have a leadoff hitter without embarrassing themselves with You Suck Upton. Oh, and that’s kinda relative to Y.S. Upton, because Markakis hasn’t exactly been an OBP machine the past two years.” And that’s me quoting me! 2015 Projections: 84/15/54/.269/5
63. Desmond Jennings – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Fowler. I call this tier, “Likely rotten, but maybe you’ll be happy you gotten…them.” Hey, I’m an almost poet! From a long line of almost poets like William Turdsworth and Emily Dontknowdickinson. What, you don’t remember the Almost Poetry Movement of the 1940s? It predated Beat Poetry by three weeks. It beat Beat. Brett Lawrie takes all the guff for being a post-post-post-post-post-POST-post-hype sleeper, but Lawrie is still young enough that he can make good on promise. Jennings wins the trophy for Failed Expectations. (It’s actually one trophy that gets handed around from different fields of non-expertise, so Jennings needs to get the Failed Expectations trophy from Skeet Ulrich. “He’s gonna be the new Johnny Depp!” Cut to three years later, “Well, he can still work as his stunt double.”) 2015 Projections: 71/10/41/.247/20
64. Nori Aoki – Suddenly everywhere I look for Aoki’s stats he’s listed as Nori Aoki and not Norichika. Where did the ‘chika go? Did some coaches last year suggest he shorten up his swing and it got lost in translation? Is it because he hit only one homer last year so he felt he wasn’t deserving of the ‘chika ‘chika boom? Did a coach tell him he needs to “Roll with it,” and that translates in Japanese to ‘Nori with it’ and that’s why he looked confused the whole year? “Nori with it? How about Nori no understand it! And why do people keep singing, ‘Proud Mary keep on Nori’ing?!'” That’s Aoki losing his cool. As for him on the Giants, I don’t see much changing for him. He is what he is no matter where he is. 2015 Projections: 74/8/39/.287/20
65. Dexter Fowler – As has been a new ritual of mine, on my birthday each year I bet on a team to win the World Series. I’m picking up some good habits as I get older! So, this year I was looking at the odds vs. who I wanted to bet on. In other words, I like the Dodgers to make it deep into the playoffs but I don’t want to bet on someone that is eight to one odds. Doesn’t pay enough for the risk involved. With that said, do you know what the Cubs odds were? Ten to 1! Ten to mothereffin’ one to win the World Series. That is so absurd that I’d bet one thousand dollars to win back ten dollars that they DON’T win the World Series, and it would be a smarter bet. Oh, and for what it’s Wuertz, I bet on the Reds at 60 to 1. I figure if they get Bruce, Votto, Phillips, Frazier, Hamilton, Mesoraco and Byrd on the same page with Cueto, Bailey, Leake, Cingrani and Aroldis, sixty to one odds is a decent gamble. (Rudy bet on the Indians at 20 to 1.) As for Fowler, he’ll be leading off for the World Series-winning Cubs! Otherwise, he doesn’t change at all. 2015 Projections: 89/13/48/.252/15
66. Rajai Davis – This a new tier. This tier goes from here until Span. I call this tier, “It’s SAGNOF, snitches!” Rajai is the King of SAGNOF to the point where he doesn’t even need to have a starting job and he still gets 35 steals. He’s in an interesting position now. He will be platooning with Anthony “I Feel The Need For Speed” Gose, and mentoring him like he’s the progeny of his royal loins, casting away aspersions of those that speak ill of the Gose, and likely still hogging most SAGNOF for himself. “I am the King, after all.” That’s Rajai as his toe corns are rubbed off by Ben Revere. 2015 Projections: 54/5/49/.269/35
67. Coco Crisp – Coco hasn’t been traded yet. Emphasis on yet. Big flashing lights around yet. Airplane runway guys waving lights at yet. A cellphone store sign spinner pointing to yet. Whether he’s moved or not, he’s SAGNOF with a side of power and a big helping of injury-proneness. Why can’t he stay healthy? To paraphrase The Game, “I don’t know, probably doing what the Crisp do, but when I’m screwing up my hamstring, eff it! Then I’m Coco Crisp too.” 2015 Projections: 72/8/42/.257/21
68. Ben Revere – He could have some upside in his Rawlings cleats, but after Revere stole 49 bases last year, I think no mountain is high enough, but that’s pretty close. I also don’t love that Revere looks to be hitting in front of the cast of The Walking Dead. He had 601 ABs last year and 547 in the leadoff spot and his counting stats were 71 runs and 28 RBIs. That’s the 2nd worst RBI total since 2000 for hitters with 626 plate appearances and the 150th worst runs total. Think about that for a second. He had a .306 average while batting leadoff and accumulated over 600 ABs and he still had the 150th worst runs. He had the same amount of runs as guys that were batting much lower in the order with a .228 average (Alex Gonzalez in 2003) and the 2nd worst RBIs in 14 seasons (Luis Castillo in 2000). Oh, and the Phils will be worse this year. Hey, don’t throw batteries at the messenger. 2015 Projections: 68/1/31/.298/35
69. Anthony Gose – On a side note before we even get to the actual note, you know you’ve used and abused your web browser with baseball when you type in “Gose” expecting his page to come up in the history because you had searched it previously and your browser goes instead to Tuffy Gosewich. Tuffy Gosewich sounds like a limited offering from the Chipwich company that was only available at MMA fights. Here’s what I said this offseason about Gose (no wich), “Traded to the Tigers. The Tigers grabbed Gose because they have a need…a need for speed! This might be the best landing spot for Gose. Not because he’ll fall into an everyday starting job, which he might, but because he’ll be able to intern for Rajai, The King of SAGNOF. Regarding the trade, King Rajai said, “I’m going to put him in charge of an entire branch of government. That branch is grapes, and he can hand-feed them to me.” Gose’s fantasy value really comes down to whether or not he gets the starting job. If he’s starting, this will be huge and he could be a sneaky 40-steal guy. Stay tuned. Or not. Your choice.” And that’s me quoting me! If you did indeed stay tuned, you’ll know that Gose is the stronger side of the SAGNOF platoon in Detroit, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the King ends up seeing more ABs. 2015 Projections: 59/4/22/.231/28
70. Denard Span – Due to cosmic forces that I can’t explain, Denard Span needed to be ranked near Ben Revere. When I asked for a reason from my cosmetologist, she said, “I think you could use more lipstick,” and I realized I was talking to a makeup person, not one fluent in the cosmos. UPDATE: Span has a core issue, and that reminds me of Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Core and now I want dessert! I’m guessing Span will miss about three weeks of the season, and just over a 15-day DL stint. 2015 Projections: 81/2/24/.279/22
71. Michael Morse – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Vogt. I call this tier, “Lie to yourself, don’t lie to me.” By this tier name, I mean if you lie to yourself long enough, you might be able to convince yourself that you’re going to enjoy owning these guys. Just don’t come on here and tell me that I’m wrong about any of these guys and you’re drafting them with confidence. Went over Morse in the top 20 1st basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
73. Michael Cuddyer – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
75. Logan Morrison – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball.
77. Juan Lagares – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the top 100 outfielders for 2015 fantasy baseball. I call this tier, “I’m grabbing onto these guys like I’m a video vixen and they’re a sports car.” I’m in a white flowing dress with no underwears and Def Leppard is singing to me to pour some sugar on Lagares. Lagares should be batting leadoff this year, and he has 8-homer power with 20-steal speed. Oh, and he’s only 25 years old, so he could peak this year with a lot more stats. Also, his defense should keep him in the lineup the whole season. If you tell me you don’t like Lagares or anyone in this tier, I will Tawny Kitaen your ass. 2015 Projections: 77/8/42/.277/22
78. Michael Saunders – I already gave you my Michael Saunders sleeper. I wrote it while making a New Year’s resolution to not stop breathing. UPDATE: This is me pouring some out for the groundskeeper that I’m going to murder for leaving the sprinkler out. I’ll sprinkle you! 2015 Projections: 54/13/58/.249/12
79. Adam Eaton – I like Eaton, but what did you expect — I’m half-Jewish and half-Italian (a pizza bagel). My family plans dinner before we eat breakfast. I say I like Adam Eaton because what I’m about to say could make it sound like I don’t. He’s never done anything. Since 2012, he’s shown promise and has been hailed as a sleeper by some. Prolly by me on more than one occasion. In Triple-A in 2012, he had 7 homers and 38 steals with a .381 average. He’s still carrying that allure, but last year he had 1 homer and 15 steals in 123 games. Sure, he was injured, and he only played 66 games in 2013 because he was injured that year too. Hey, upside is here and if he’s around, I’m drafting him, but I’ve seen him being drafted way higher than this and I’m not about to go out on that limb without fear of falling down the ugly tree and hitting every Michelle Branch. Confusing metaphor points! 2015 Projections: 80/5/38/.281/20
80. Josh Reddick – You’re like, “Wow, I’d love to get Reddick this late.” Okay, but let’s keep your weird fetishes out of this. Sure, you think you’d like to draft Reddick this late, until you actually do and he’s hitting .220 with two homers through June. There is a chance he could return to the 2012 player he was when he hit 32 HRs, stole 11 bases and hit .242. How much of a chance is the question. He hits a ton of fly balls, which is good since you want the homers. It will limit his average though because if you hit fly balls, they will be caught. If he would’ve qualified last year, he would’ve had the 2nd highest fly ball percentage in baseball, barely behind Chris Carter. His big problem is — or since it’s the Athletics — the elephant on the uniform is he doesn’t hit his fly balls very far. He only hit 7 homers last year that would’ve been out of the majority of stadiums. He pulls the ball and barely gets it over. That could be said of about 15 of his 32 homers in 2012 too. So, I’d take a late flyer on him, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you need to cut Reddick by mid-April. Sorry, if that made you cross your legs. 2015 Projections: 67/17/72/.238/4