Much like Bruce Jenner’s genitals, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click this link.
Hey everybody, I hope your 4th went well! Me, I had a great time with some friends, some beer, some family, some more beer, some burgers, some jaeger, some policemen, some angry white guys at the local drunk tank…really couldn’t have asked for anything more! Could you keep it down please, I have a roaring headache! Oooooh right, forgot about that part. Me, I just asked they cook Alka Seltzer directly into my hamburger patty the entire time. Worked like a charm! Sorry to the seagulls my jerk friend fed my leftovers to that day, though…R.I.P. Don’t worry, I got him back for you later by telling him the mentos were Alka Seltzer and fed him some Diet Coke. Exploding living things isn’t funny now is it, Craig! Of course we know now none of this intro is true. I have no friends! But what I do have is an iPhone and people text me on it and one said person is Grey. Yeah, I name dropped, whatevs. He said our friend Pete Nice needed some help for this week 14 on the Two Start Pitcher tip so I said ‘how much?’ and Grey said ‘we won’t charge you to write for us this time’ and I said ‘what a deal!’ and jumped on it like Sugarhill Gang. You see, typically I’m slanging you some DraftKings knowledge here on the Razz but sometimes I like to slang other thangs at you and here’s my chance. So without further ado, here’s my take on week 14 two start pitchers for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…
Must Start
Adam Wainwright (PIT, @MIL), Julio Teheran (@NYM, @CHC), Masahiro Tanaka (@CLE, @BAL), Stephen Strasburg (BAL, @PHI), Johnny Cueto (CHC, PIT)
I love no-brainer calls simply because I have no brains and because of that, I’ll be the one to survive the zombie apocalypse. Go ahead and inject yourself with meningitis all you want, Brad Pitt, I’m fine thanks. Tanaka has been roughed up a little bit of late – and by that I mean he’s pitched like he’s almost human – but every stud starter goes through a rough patch. Don’t make it a sour patch by not starting him, kids.
First Tier
Cole Hamels, (@MIL, WAS), Madison Bumgarner (@OAK, ARZ), Hisashi Iwakuma (MIN, OAK), Sonny Gray (SF, @SEA), Hyun-Jin Ryu (@DET, SD), Jesse Chavez (SF, @SEA)
Does the start in Detroit for Ryu scare me? I did just tinkle a little thinking about it so that’s affirmative. Does finishing the week against the Padres more than make up for it in my mind? Mmmm-hmmmm. Also, I don’t wish that I had Jesse’s girl but I do wish I had Jesse’s schedule. Granted, he gets Iwakuma on the second turn but with both starts in pitcher-friendly ballparks and most likely having over/unders of somewhere between 6 and 6.5 for those games, it’s hard not to like starting Chavez in two ravines.
Second Tier
Mike Leake (CHC, PIT), Mike Minor (@NYM, @CHC), James Shields (@TB, DET), Jake Odorizzi (KC, TOR), Justin Verlander (LAD, @KC), Jacob deGrom (ATL, MIA)
Normally I don’t suggest you start anyone who doesn’t capitalize the first letter of their last name. Yes, that’s a real peccadillo for me. No, no you’re thinking picadillo now it’s not the same thing…and now you’ve made me hungry. What I’m saying is both ATL and MIA are in the bottom 10 for team K% on the year and deGrom’s K rate is around 8 per 9 so there’s some upside to him over most weeks. Along a similar path, Atlanta Mike’s been pitching like he belongs in the minors so far but gets two great matchups for the week in terms of K rates so I’m in.
Third Tier
Ryan Vogelsong (@OAK, ARZ), Brandon Workman (CHW, @HOU), Doug Fister (BAL, @PHI), Trevor Bauer (NYY, CHW), Carlos Martinez (PIT, @MIL), Wily Peralta (PHI, STL)
Ahhh, the upside! It burns! Basically the only pitcher I trust from this tier would be Fister, aka I barely knew her. But it’s hard to ignore the work that Workman’s done and the matchups he’s being presented to go with along with it. Brandon, you better work! Bauer is me hunching. If he can get past the Yanks with only minor scrapes, that White Sox matchup is gonna be a nice bonus at the end of the week. Meanwhile, here’s to Carlos getting a chance to go past the 5th inning. Matheny, if he stretches any further, he’ll be spitting Yoga Flame.
Fourth Tier
Justin Masterson (NYY, CHW), Jered Weaver (TOR, @TEX), Jarred Cosart (@TEX, BOS), Tom Koehler (@ARZ, @NYM), John Danks (@BOS, @CLE), Clay Buccholz (CHW, @HOU), Chase Anderson (MIA, @SF), Daisuke Matsuzaka (ATL, MIA), Tyler Matzek (SD, MIN), Chris Young (MIN, OAK)
Here’s where either they’ve been pitching well or have good matchups…and also here’s Justin Masterson because…yeah, I don’t know why. He’ll either throw back to back shutouts or give up 10 ER in 2 IP while crapping on your floor and then blaming it on your dog while still having his pants around his ankles. It’s been that kind of year. Clay has the same ‘good matchup’ thing working for him as Workman but he looks like the pre-2013 Clay and that’s bad. Unless it was Clay 2011 which was good. But not the Clay 2012. That was bad. I think I’ve made my point. Normally would never, ever, ever suggest a Colorado pitcher in general, let alone in Colorado but the matchups are right so who am I to fight them?
Fifth Tier
Vidal Nuno (@CLE, @BAL), Edwin Jackson (@CIN, ATL), Ian Kennedy (@COL, @LAD), Travis Wood (@CIN, ATL), Charlie Morton (@STL, @CIN), Tyson Ross (@COL, @LAD), Vance Worley (@STL, @CIN)
Yes, I’m taking this two more layers deeper than I’ve seen in recent history. Consider this your Inception version of the two start pitcher post. Here I’m looking at guys who might have one good matchup for the week and the other one being terrible for them, though that doesn’t apply to Morton/Worley. Their matchups are terrible but they haven’t been so I felt they were above the bin below. Notice how we haven’t heard a certain Twins pitcher name yet? Well, the suspense will be over a few inches lower. That’s what she said!
Don’t Start
J.A. Happ (@LAA, @TB), Phil Hughes (@SEA, @COL), Miles Mikolas (HOU, LAA), Scott Carroll (@BOS, @CLE), Nick Martinez (HOU, LAA), Kevin Correia (@SEA, @COL), Jason Vargas (@TB, DET), Marco Estrada (PHI, STL), Kyle Kendrick (@MIL, WAS)
Phil has been tripping harder than his great grand-pappy Howard did. At least he’s not sitting naked watching movies with a pink napkin covering his genitals yet…that we know of. In either case, he’s just off and I don’t wanna start him twice to find out if/when he’ll turn it back on, especially with a start in Colorado looming at the end of the week.
