For those looking for pictures of ballplayers taking off their ballcap and recapping themselves, you’re in the wrong place! Though, sometimes I get the sense people in the comments aren’t wearing pants, so if that does it for you, there ya go. Oh, who are we kidding, I’m not wearing pants. Pants are for conformist sissies! Pound for pound, the top 20 3rd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball were as good as any other position. In fact (oh, geez, here goes Grey adding on), Matt Carpenter was the 20th best 2nd baseman and samesies here, and was only the 22nd best 1st baseman, so not much more depth there. This recap ranking is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked players in the preseason. Now, let’s get this, young money. Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Nolan Arenado – *holds wood plank up covering a window, screams to Cougs* “Hammer the nail! Don’t worry about why! Trust me!” This was me for the better part of the year with the rapid, without-warning Torenadoes. Our of curiosity, I went to look at Steamer’s Arenado preseason projections: 84/30/99/.290/5. Damn, Steamer should be doing projections on Breitbart, because he’s crazy conservative. Preseason Rank #2, 2016 Projections: 91/38/110/.299/2, Final Numbers: 116/41/133/.294/2
2. Jonathan Villar – Went over him in the top 20 shortstops.
3. Kris Bryant – Wondering why Bryant had so many more runs than RBIs? You didn’t read my Zobrist blurb in the top 20 2nd basemen. The reason rhymes with Crazymothereffinmaddon. Bryant saw 325 ABs in the two hole, which makes sense, of course, if you have 1927 Babe Ruth batting 3rd and 1977 George Foster batting cleanup. Preseason Rank #4, 2016 Projections: 95/31/108/.268/15, Final Numbers: 121/39/102/.292/8
4. Josh Donaldson – Speaking of batshizz crazy lineups, Donaldson didn’t crack 100 RBIs with 37 homers and a .284 average. Can you guess why? It sounds like Bautistahit.239asleadoffhitter. The .239 is silent, literally. Preseason Rank #3, 2016 Projections: 104/32/97/.269/4, Final Numbers: 122/37/99/.284/7
5. Daniel Murphy – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen.
6. Manny Machado – Went over him in the top 20 shortstops.
7. Adrian Beltre – I’m legit surprised by Beltre’s season. It’s always so hard to predict these Zombino seasons. Beltre looked all but washed-up the last few years, and, at 37 years old, he has the best season of the last three years. He deserves a pat on the head, which will make him karate chop you if you try it. By the by, Beltre is like the Bert Blyleven of hitters. Because Beltre stayed relatively healthy and played a long time, it’s going to be virtually impossible to keep him out of the Hall of Fame. Think I’m kidding? Beltre has 2942 hits and 445 HRs. I take back the Blyleven comparison, Beltre is a first balloter. This is a guy who in his first four years looked like a 20 HR, .250 hitter. Sure didn’t hurt that he started at 19 years old. That’s crazy young, unless you’re Jose Tabata who already marrying a 49-year-old women by that age. Preseason Rank #9, 2016 Projections: 87/19/91/.290/1, Final Numbers: 89/32/104/.300/1
8. Eduardo Nunez – Went over him in the top 20 shortstops.
9. Todd Frazier – His hard contact rate went way down, he tried to pull everything, he hit fewer line drives and his infield fly balls skyrocketed. What does all this mean? He made weak contact and it looks like it was mostly from not making solid contact on fastballs. I.e., his bat slowed, so he tried to adjust by swinging early and it didn’t help. I.E., Part II: I Still Before E, Frazier got older. He’s the only one in the entire world that can claim he got old this year, which is why it makes it interesting that I point it out. Preseason Rank #5, 2016 Projections: 86/30/98/.250/14, Final Numbers: 89/40/98/.225/15
10. Kyle Seager – Here’s what I said at the end of the year, “If Seager were a barometer that we used to measure offense, and he is because I’m saying he is, every year he hit 25 or 26 homers and around .260. This year those marks are way up, and Seager’s barometer is showing serious signs of global warming. Thanks a lot, Al Gore, for pointing this shizz out! Conspiracy Theory Alert! If Tipper Gore would’ve put out more, Al wouldn’t have had time for global warming and the earth would currently be experiencing unheard of cold spells. Tipper went cold, we went hot. Then again, Al wouldn’t have had time to invent the internet either. Damn, O. Henry-like story!” And that’s me quoting me! Preseason Rank #7, 2016 Projections: 85/25/75/.269/8, Final Numbers: 89/30/99/.278/3
11. Jose Ramirez – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen.
12. Evan Longoria – I remember clearly — through the cobwebs in my head…Is this a 1970s song? Sounds like it. Any the hoo! — I thought Longoria was garbage in the preseason, but once I started drafting I realized that I didn’t think Longoria was as garbagey as others because I started drafting him around 120 overall. On a related note, I will say there is something to owning a Tampa Bay Ray (Tampa Ray Bay?), you don’t want to watch them play, possibly more so if you’re a Bay Ray fan. Preseason Rank #8, 2016 Projections: 81/23/84/.264/3, Final Numbers: 81/36/98/.273
13. Anthony Rendon – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen.
14. Justin Turner – Prior to breaking down Turner — that’s what Ike said! — I just wanted to mention how many guys here have multiple position eligibility. If you had a solid hitter this year, there was a great chance he had more than one position he was eligible at, but don’t end a sentence with at — dah! As for Turner, um, oops! I apparently didn’t trust him at all as my projections and preseason ranking show. Mea culpa, as they say in Latin America. I can guess why. I don’t normally trust players in a followup year who breakout late in their career. See my distrust of Bautista and Edwin in their immediate followup years after they broke out late. ‘Grey hates late bloomers’ is the t-shirt I wear, only late is spelled ‘latte’ and it has a picture of someone pouring coffee into underwear so it’s ‘Latte bloomers.’ Preseason Rank #26, 2016 Projections: 52/10/57/.284/6, Final Numbers: 79/27/90/.275/4
15. Jake Lamb – Unlike Turner, who I legitimately didn’t like in the preseason, I didn’t mind Lamb. I just worried that the Diamondbacks wouldn’t play him. Once the D-Bags showed they were going to play Lamb, I was all bah this and bah that. Preseason Rank #28, 2016 Projections: 48/14/45/.258/3, Final Numbers: 81/29/91/.249/6
16. Yasmany Tomas – I had Tomas very high up in the preseason rankings, around 15th overall, but I dropped him towards the end of the preseason because the Diamondbacks were testing their methods with Socrates. Oh well, you could’ve still grabbed Tomas off waivers in most leagues. And that’s how you justify anything! Preseason Rank #30, 2016 Projections: 47/13/55/.268/3 in 350 ABs, Final Numbers: 72/31/83/.272/2
17. Hernan Perez – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen.
18. Eugenio Suarez -Went over him in the top 20 shortstops.
19. Maikel Franco – Sucks a little that Maikel didn’t breakout, but this has me even more excited for him next year. His range of outcomes seems like it could be anywhere from 25 HRs to 40 HRs. Or he hits 20 HRs next year and seems like a bust, then breaks out two years from now in what will still only be his 25-year-old season. Yes, doode is still crazy young. The one thing that dampens my enthusiasm is standing under a New York City apartment window and getting wet when it’s not raining. The one thing that dampens my enthusiasm on Maikel is three steals looks like it’s his peak for speed. He needs to whip up a Torenado to get anywhere near huge value. Preseason Rank #6, 2016 Projections: 81/27/95/.284/2, Final Numbers: 67/25/88/.255/1
20. Matt Carpenter -Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen.
