I say something on this week’s podcast like, “Tanner Bibee is coming up any day now,” it’s quotes like that why the Pulitzer for Podcasts said, “Can we make a special award just for you?” Sure, their special award was called, “The Pulitzer for Saying Something While Saying Nothing.” So, the Guards are supposedly calling up Tanner Bibee to start today, and they don’t play around with their pitchers, which is something I should remember for next year when I’m between drafting a guy like Gavin Stone and a Guardians’ pitching prospect. So, Bibee has a 95 MPH fastball with four pitches. The fastball and 84 MPH slider are the swing-and-miss’ers. His slider was 56% swing-and-miss, which is nuts. His change is kinda bleh and the curve doesn’t do much, but setup. He has excellent command, and could be the rookie pitcher prospect call-up of the year. Another Pulitzer award, presumably. Here’s what Itch’s said, “Bibee’s currently my favorite of Cleveland’s pitching prospects for dynasty purposes in terms of cost vs. value. He’s coming off 73.2 innings in Double-A with a 0.88 WHIP. He allowed just four home runs there and wound up with a 1.83 ERA. He’s good enough to the naked eye that I think he’ll make waves this spring. His 122.2 innings pitched last year sets him up perfectly to step in whenever the Guardians need help. People still seem to be underrating his physical gifts. At 6’2” 205 lb, Bibee can sit comfortably in the mid-90’s deep into games and has that Cleveland specialty skill of commanding his off-speed pitches. In case you can’t tell from the blurb, I want him everywhere I can get him. And I want to punch Grey everywhere I can.” That’s not cool! Bibee is worth grabbing in every league. Yes, even in your league. Will he stay up? Hard to say, but worth the flyer. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brenton Doyle – 3-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 1st and 2nd steal. Don’t want to get pulled in by another Rockies prospect, but…can’t…stop…self. By the way, before yesterday’s game, the Rockies had stolen one base besides Doyle. Ha, why are they such a dumb organization?
Jose Siri – 0-for-2 as he was activated from the IL. “Siri, can you order me some compression socks?” “Dude, I’m your fifth fantasy outfielder with power and speed, not your personal assistant.”
Taj Bradley – Sent down to transition him to a five-day schedule vs. the six-day schedule he was on. Our enthusiasm was sent to the Taj Mahalt.
Drew Rasmussen – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.33. Bring back Taj! Kidding. Kinda. This was just A Series of Unfortunate Events by the Regression Fairies.
Mason Miller – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 6.48. After giving up four earned in the 1st inning, that roofie could’ve went way more sideways.
Shea Langeliers – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer, and he just missed a grand slam the night before, because it was robbed by Taylor Ward. Robbed by the Ward in a bid for power and tonight’s redemption? Where are we, Shawshank?
Ji-Hwan Bae – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 6th and 7th steal. Not sure there’s been a more fantastic first name trio in a 21st century lineup than the Pirates’ Ke’Bryan, Tucupita, and Rodolfo. Any hoo! Play Bae!
Johan Oviedo – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.03. This was a tough matchup, and one run was allowed by the guy who came in after him. I’m not out on Oviedo yet. If a guy changes his mix, and is pitching better, that’s what you need to believe him. Oviedo is doing that. Let’s see more.
Chris Taylor – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .163. This might be the start of something, so I’d monocle, but he’s been pretty terrible so far, outside of a few homers.
Jordan Walker – Sat out again for. Dot dot dot. Alec Burleson! What is going on? Is Bud Black guest managing the Cards? Is Oli Marmol an actual moron? Walker is hitting identical against righties and lefties — .274! Never thought I’d wish for an injury, but I’m hoping there’s something going on here that we don’t know about that would help this make sense.
Ryan Helsley – 2/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 1.93, as he blew his 3rd save. He might have the worst sub-2 ERA in history. As one beat writer said, Blake Sabol can’t hit anything but breaking balls. He has a .125 BAA fastballs, and against breaking balls, he hits .308. So, Helsley threw him four straight breaking balls until Sabol hit a walk-off homer, his 4th. If Walker loses a job for no reason, Helsley has to be on high alert.
Jazz Chisholm Jr. – 2-for-5 and his 4th homer. That’s not bebop, that’s Jazz!
Bryan Hoeing – 3 2/3 IP, 4 ER, as he was called up. That does follow. Usually Hoeing does lead to the other team raking. His minor league numbers this year were absurdly good (10.4 K/9, 1 BB/9), but that didn’t transfer to the majors for this start, and I’m only interested right now in NL-Only leagues.
Yuli Gurriel – 2-for-4 and a slam (2) and legs (1). I have him in an NL-Only league for about a week, so I can safely say I’d prefer his son, Lourdes, and I don’t want Lourdes either.
Ozzie Albies – 2-for-4 and his 6th and 7th homer. So far, me not liking MH2 has not burned me; me not liking Albies, that’s less secure footing.
Eddie Rosario – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 3rd homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Hot schmotato alert!
Joe Ryan – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.81, as he continues to torment the Yankees. Save some for the postseason! Kidding, absolutely don’t do that! Give us fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term) everything!
Trevor Larnach – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Thought I was getting a potential breakout when I picked him up the first week, but so far I’ve gotten Mike Yastrzemski (who hit homer number five in a different game) without the difficult to spell last name.
Byron Buxton – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .244. Know what’s been weird? Buxton’s stayed healthy and has been boring.
Rowdy Tellez – 1-for-4 and his 8th homer. O.J. Simpson? Not a Jew! But you know who is? This member of the Brew Crew!
Kerry Carpenter – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .210. He homered lefty-lefty, which is awesome, but then he was replaced by Riley Greene. Assuming it must’ve been defensive purposes, but I don’t know.
Jarren Duran – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting .387. *guy hits one home run and has a .500 BABIP* He’s here! He’s arrived! My God! It’s happening! So, Duran looks hot, at least. That’s good, and worth grabbing, but he does have a near-30% strikeout rate.
Corey Kluber – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 6.75. Hey, no offense, but Kluber is dogshizz and you should never pick him up.
Kyle Bradish – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 6.30. More like Brackish. See what I did…*sobs uncontrollably*…there?
Gunnar Henderson – 2-for-4 and his 2nd homer. *pokes body with stick* “We might need to call the cops–Hold up! Gunnar’s moved! He’s alive!”
Jorge Mateo – 1-for-4 and his 4th homer, hitting .351, as he hits 9th. Orioles are playing well, but not well enough for one of the top 25 best hitters in baseball to be hitting 9th! C’mon, man! Be Normal MLB Managers Challenge!
Mason Thompson – 3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 0.96, and his 1st save. Before you start bemoaning missing out on Bryan Abreu, you bemoaner, Mason Thompson is just as good. He won’t get saves or as many Holds, but he’s an excellent middle reliever worth rostering.
Josiah Gray – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.93. Not much has been made of the absolute breakouts of all guys named after Grey! Yours truly included! Okay, so, Josiah has a 8.1 K/9, 3.3 BB/9 and 4.72 xFIP. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows under the hood. His Ks can get better, the ground ball rate has been excellent, and he should remain startable, but he’s more of a 3.85 ERA guy.
Nathaniel Lowe – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 3rd homer. Get in line behind Brandon and Josh!
Danny Jansen – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 4 RBIs, and his 2nd and 3rd homer, and three homers in the last three games. For catcher value, him vs. Varsho is like watching the tortoise vs. the tortoise, but clearly Jansen is currently hot.
Jose Berrios – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at…wait for it. Before you start believing the absurd rumors that Berrios is back, guess his ERA. Go ahead! Just come within one run of the answer! Bzzt, wrongo! It’s 4.71. Please get out of here with this guy.
Brady Singer – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 6.67. That ERA is the guest list in Hell: Beelzebub plus one. Singer has been the devil up until last night, but I need to see more than just one start in the right direction, before I’m invested again fully.
Jake McCarthy – Sent down to the minors. I’ll take the L on McCarthy. Put it over my heart in scarlet red. With that said (here’s where Grey doesn’t take the L), the Dbags did him no favors. It was like they wanted him to fail. He cut his strikeouts, upped his walks, had a .160 BABIP, i.e., insanely unlucky, but did they give him the benefit of the doubt? No, they started platooning him and hitting him 9th. He’ll be back, but you can lose him in most leagues until then.
Justin Steele – 5 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 1.19. Superman is starting to say, “‘Man of Steele.’ It’s spelled with an E at the end,” just to be more like Justin!
Cody Bellinger – Hit the paternity list. There was at least an 85% chance if you were ovulating and walking past a Dodgers players’ house during the All-Star Break last year, you were getting impregnated. A mail carrier said with a shrug, “Last July I was merely delivering a package, and now I am delivering a baby.” Last year’s Dodgers are leading the league this year in exit velocity for babies out of a birth canal, otherwise known as cervix speed, or simply xHOO-HA.