Holy shizzballs.  That’s not the Urban Dictionary definition of shizzballs either, which is when you shizz your grapes.  That’s shizzballs as in this is the greatest display of sexiness since a young Kim Cattrall was featured in a window display.  Brian Dozier is doing more for the long ball than any old man with shizzballs could ever imagine.  That’s back to the original definition of shizzballs.  Right now, Dozier is the exact perfect moment when your 12-year-old self pressed the buttons perfectly together on the old cable box and unscrambled Playboy TV at its best, with a perfectly scrolled, snowy version of Naughty Candid Camera.  Trying to cover, when being caught, “It’s Allen Funt, mom.  Uh…Maybe that’s not an F on the front of his last name.”  Yesterday, Brian Dozier hit three more homers — 3-for-5, 4 RBIs, hitting .279 — and now has 38 homers on the year, and is easily leading the entire majors for homers in the 2nd half with 24 homers.  For 2017, he’s going to be tough to peg, due to his inflated HR/FB% and falling line drive rate, but he doesn’t look much worse than a 25 HR/15 SB guy, which still has value.  For this year, obviously you ride the lightning.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jose Berrios – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 9.21, as he was recalled from the minors.  Berrios has been Berrios, Berrios bad to me.

Byron Buxton – 1-for-3, 1 run, and has done nothing but hit since he was recalled.  You think I’m crazy for Buxton right now, wait until next year.

Eric Hosmer – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 21st homer, hitting .273.  He’s only 26 years old, so I haven’t given up on him yet for his career, but I have to say the promise of him is much greater than he’s been.  Sorta like the promise when you hear Brooks Pounder is coming for dinner, and it turns out that a mediocre Royals’ reliever is looking to get fed.

Kendrys Morales – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 23rd homer, three homers in the last week while hitting around .325.  Kendrys up at some point, but right now Kenwets!  High-five me right now!  C’mon, don’t leave me hanging like Michael Hutchence.

Jarrod Dyson – 3-for-5, 3 runs and his 26th steal.  If you lost Hamilton, missed out on Peraza and are still alive (in your league and real life), I’d grab Dyson for SAGNOF.

Chris Carter – 1-for-3 and his 33rd homer.  I think if you watched his home run yesterday in the 2nd inning, you get an idea of his power.  He was out in front of the pitch, looked like he popped it up, and the ball traveled 475 feet*.  *Estimated, no one has that many feet to measure it.

Ryan Braun – 1-for-4 and his 25th homer, hitting .307.  Braun’s had a surprisingly solid season.  On our Player Rater, Rizzo or Braun?  Yeah, they’re close, but Braun’s above him right now.

Zach Davies – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.01.  And the last time he faced the Cubs, he gave up seven earned in four innings.  Granted, that was in Wrigley, and he’s been better at home, but his next start is in St. Louis, so *opens window, throws home ERA out* there goes that.

Kyle Hendricks – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.07.  Hard to find fault with his season.  But let’s try!  He never goes deep into games.  I mean, ever.  I wonder what’s the fewest number of Quality Starts for a starter with a 2.50 ERA and lower (or 2.07 and lower).  I have to think Hendricks is in the top five, if not top two.  (Yeah, I could figure it out myself, but can’t you people help a little.  Yeah, you people!)

Billy Hamilton – Didn’t play yesterday, will be reevaluated in a week, and might not play the rest of the season.  I was hoping for some clarity on this oblique situation, but stupid irony and all.

Jose Peraza – 2-for-4, hitting .340.  You know what the sidelining of Hamilton means?  Yup, Peraza not only played, but hit leadoff.

Robert Stephenson – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.12.  I strongly considered streaming Stephenson yetserday.  I’m glad I talked myself out of it.  I can be very persuasive.  Though, I guess, I’m not that persuasive or I would’ve talked myself back into it.  But then out of it again.  And back into it.  And out.  And in!  Out!

Bartolo Colon – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.22.  He faced Robert Stephenson, who sounds like Robert Louis Stevenson, who wrote Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde, which is what I call my colon before and after chili, which is what Cincy is famous for.  These are the kind of connections you can’t make up.

Wilmer Flores – 3-for-4, hitting .269 and hit 3rd yesterday with Yoenis and Asdrubal and Granderson and the whole Mets’ lineup being rested.  Mets hitters had Labor Day off.  Mail carriers had Labor Day off.  Mets hitters are mail carriers.

Jedd Gyorko – 2-for-5 and his 26th homer.  Has the 2nd most homers post-All-Star break, and has officially moved into a position where he can potentially be drafted by me again next year and disappoint the crap out of me.  Lowercase yay!

Matt Adams – 2-for-6, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer.  Piscotty got on base, and Adams picked him up.  Granted, Adams thought he was picking up a very large biscotti.

Stephen Piscotty – Left the game with a possible wrist injury after being hit by a pitch, but x-rays were negative.  After the game, he said, “I also left to avoid Adams from nibbling on me further.”

Raul Alcantara – 3 IP, 5 ER.  No lie, I momentarily saw the box score and thought Arismendy Alcantara had become a herbathrowdite.  As for what’s eating Raul, there’s talk about how exciting of a floor he has due to solid control, but he had a 4.80 ERA in Double-A this year, and I’m not interested this year.

Danny Valencia – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer.  Notice how since his fight with Butler, Butler has all but disappeared from the A’s.  Not easy to get a 400-pound bowl of Jell-o to disappear either.

Khris Davis -1-for-3, 2 runs, and his 35th homer.  I mention this on the podcast that’s coming later today, but — SPOILER ALERT! — Davis has the third most homers in the 2nd half of the season.

Matt Shoemaker – Hit the DL with a small skull fracture.  This means he has a normal-sized head with a small fracture or a fractured dwarf head.

Kole Calhoun – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 16th homer, and two homers on Saturday.  About time Kole heated up, said his fantasy owners and an Amish man banging on his stove.

Andrew Bailey – 1 IP, 0 ER, and his 2nd save in as many games.  The Sciosciapath made Bailey his closer, because it makes too much sense to try out guys with less experience to see if they can handle it and potentially be cheap closers next year.  Nope, instead Sciosciapath is putting in a guy that is about five years past his sell-by date.

C.J. Cron – 2-for-5, 1 run, hitting around .400 in the last week with four homers.  Hot schmotato alert!

Trea Turner – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .343.  Roll over and never play dead, you little Treat Urner.

Ender Inciarte – 2-for-5, 1 run, hitting .368 in the 2nd half, which is 3rd best in the majors.  Yup.

R.A. Dickey – 4 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.60.  I wonder who JayWrong, our chief fantasy football hombre, was rooting for when his one love, Dickey, faced off with his other love, Headley.  I know which way I’d lean with that matchup.

Jacoby Ellsbury – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 7th homer.  It would be nice if he came out and said, “Yes, I was on PEDs that one crazy year I hit all of those homers.  I got them from Joe Mauer.”  Or came out and said whatever.  We don’t judge.  Speaking of Judge, what happened to that young brother?

Dallas Keuchel – Scratched from his start due to his shoulder and will see a doctor.  In his place will be Brad Peacock, who is an add if you have a fantasy category for plumage.

Alex Bregman – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer.  I want some of this on my face!  Or my fantasy team.  Whatever happens in my Vegas money league, stays in my Vegas money league.

Mike Napoli – 1-for-3 and his 30th homer.  Hey, look who joined us in the 2nd half!  *sees Napoli hit .303 with five homers in August*  Oh, well, I don’t own him.

Zack Greinke – 4 2/3 IP, 8 ER, ERA up to 4.54.  Five over-the-internet dollars says the next time an ace signs or is traded to Arizona most won’t remember Greinke’s year.  Okay, so judging how many is ‘most’ is a tough bet to enforce.

Yasmani Grandal – 1-for-4 and his 24th homer.  Also, homering in this game, to numerous to mention.  Kidding:  Justin Turner (1-for-4, 25th homer); Joc Pederson (1-for-3, 20th homer); Corey Seager (3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, 24th homer) and Adrian Gonzalez (1-for-4, 2 RBIs, 17th homer).

Kenta Maeda – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.29.  Bit of a cruise to the Ivictory Coast, getting the W on Amex points, but you’ll take it.

Justin Verlander – 7 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.28.  I’ll be the first to admit I was too slow recognizing that Verlander returned to being a top ten starter this year.  Sue me, which is a figure of speech that means I have nothing worth suing for.

Miguel Cabrera – 4-for-5 and two homers (30, 31).  Miggy eat your meatballs, which is what he mumbles to himself as he swings.  Bit of trivia for you.

Justin Upton – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 21st homer, hitting .239.  From June 17th thru June 20th, July 7th thru July 18th, August 21st thru 29th and September 2nd thru 4th, there’s no one better!

Chris Sale – 8 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.07.  Verlander or Sale this year?  Trick question, they’re basically identical.

Cole Hamels – 1 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 3.25 vs. Felix Hernandez – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.75.  “I’m so thankful for my family staying by my side while I was in that five-month coma.  The shock of being able to draft Hamels and Felix on the same fantasy team was so great, I jumped for joy, and hit my head on the ceiling fan.  Teach me to stand on a chair when jumping.  So, how is that fantasy team doing on this great Labor Day?  Hello?  Guys and five female family members?”

Rougned Odor – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 30th homer.  He has 30 homers.  He is 22 years old.  Seriously.  Take a moment.  Think about that.

Nomar Mazara – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 17th homer, and his 2nd homer in three games.  I know he was dropped in my leagues, but he might be heating up and worth adding again.  Schmotato?  P to the erhaps.

Robinson Cano – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 32nd homer.  Some older players have a resurgence one last time, then fall into an abyss.  I don’t think Cano’s one of those.

Franklin Gutierrez – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 14th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games.  The Big FraGu hangs with the LLAMAS, so be careful before you decide to get get get get drunk on those little baby humps.

Drew Pomeranz – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks as he was beat by Edwin Jackson 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks in Petco.  “…And that children is why you can’t ever go home again.”  *child raises hand* “Are we being kidnapped?”  “No, don’t hit Amber Alert on your iPhone!  This is a fable!”

Chad Bettis – 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.88.  If you are a gambling addict that happened to be on the phone with your bookie, unsure what to gamble on, when he said, “Yeah, and your bet is…”  Then congrats, quit while you’re ahead.

Nick Hundley – 1-for-4 and his 10th homer.  ‘Member when he was on the Rockies and good things were happening?  Yeah, shame he got mentally traded back to the Padres.

Freddy Galvis – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer.  Freddy got dinger’d!

Peter Bourjos – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI and his 6th steal, hitting .255.  The guy who bats 8th, in front of the pitcher on the Phils, has one thing going for him, he’s not Tyler Goeddel.

Jerad Eickhoff – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.86.  Not bad considering the baggage he carries around with the nickname, Jer-khoff.  That can’t be easy.  He should go to the church meetings organized by Richard Whitehead.

Ubaldo Jimenez – 9 IP, 3 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 6.19.  All three of the runs came in the first inning, so if you streamed Ubaldo, you likely threw your computer away only to have to fetch it when you realized he settled down and threw a gem.  There should be a glossary term for this.  When a pitcher gives up a few 1st inning runs, then settles down and throws a gem.  Sorta like a Ticker Shock or box scare, but not exactly.  Please suggest in the comments.

Chris Davis – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 34th homer.  If he gets to 40 homers, it will be the quietest 40-homer season since Ben Oglivie in 1980, who took a vow of silence until Gorman Thomas rolled down a window after excreting gas.

Evan Longoria – Left yesterday’s game after taking a pitch off his hand.  C’mon, man, my fantasy team named, “Laura Branigan’s Longoria,” needs you!

Logan Morrison – 1-for-2, 3 RBIs and his 13th homer.  If you went with a solely classic rock fantasy team this year (Hendricks, Morrison), you needed to extend your definition of classic rock to fill your roster.  “Let’s see, there’s some Souza played in Under Pressure.  The Brad Miller Band, right?  Um, oh, I know, Rich Hill, because he has a Badfinger.”

 
  1. muskysmell says:
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    Everyone look at Odor’s game logs of his last 6 games…it is BONKERS

    • Bravesfanintheuk says:
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      @muskysmell: a guy in my 14 teamer has both Odor at 2B and Dozier at MI.

      He’s having quite a good week….

      • Wilsonian says:
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        @Bravesfanintheuk: I’m not in your league, but that was my team last week. And I had 7 HRs yesterday thanks to 4 from Odor and Dozier again.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @muskysmell: Enjoy it now, b/c he’s going to be expensive next year

  2. JJ says:
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    Hey Grey,
    Is it time to drop the Belt? Even in Coors he goes 0-fer. C.Carter and L.Forsythe are available

    • I dripped Bell in multiple leagues a couple weeks ago. He just looks beat. We’re too many others to grab at the time coming up and out.

    • knucks says:
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      @JJ: He was a sell from Friday, so you def have the green light.

      I held him for this series too, with intentions of dropping him after. But I let him go to give Andrew Bailey a shot. Desperate times.

    • FrankGrimes says:
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      @JJ:
      Belt sucks.
      AuShizz was drafted 99 picks AFTER Belt
      Yes I’m crying as I type this…

      • FKA Ralph says:
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        @FrankGrimes: in what year?

        • knucks says:
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          @FKA Ralph: In the real world draft, Belt was the 5th round and Goldy was the 8th round in 2009 (the 99 picks Frank noted).

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @FrankGrimes: You talking real baseball? Grimey!

        • Frankgrimes says:
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          @Grey:
          Yes. Sure I’ve mentioned it before LOL.

          Hey I am getting a redirect to some bullshit Ads on my phone today.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Ugh, sorry, let me look into it

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JJ: I’d lose him

  3. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    If only coma-guy had awoken 10 days ago, when Hamels had an ERA of 2.67 and Felix was at 3.14.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @VinWins: It is unfortunate, VinWins, but you can’t choose when you’re waking from a coma due to pitchers’ ERAs

      • VinWins

        VinWins says:
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        @Grey: I suppose that is true. Of course, he’d probably think he was a jinx if he had woke sooner.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Which is worse?

          • VinWins

            VinWins says:
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            @Grey: Well, maybe not worse, but still an unfortunate life turn.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              The irony that this happened due to drafting those guys too… Real shame

              • VinWins

                VinWins says:
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                @Grey: Ah, I didn’t know that. I feel worse now.

                • VinWins

                  VinWins says:
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                  @VinWins: Now that I reread the blurb, I guess I did know it, but forgot. Now I feel really bad.

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    Hey he’s out of the coma, it’s a time to feel happy

                    • VinWins

                      VinWins says:
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                      @Grey: OK. It goes against my nature, but I’ll do it!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Haha

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  I think we should stay optimistic that he’s winning his H2H matchup due to other players drafted prior to the coma

  4. BOO…YAH!

      • @Grey:

        No…BOO for the start
        YAH for the finish

        not feeling it?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Not feeling it

  5. RePete says:
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    Any idea where you would rank Trea Turner next year? I have to decide to keep 5 of the following in a 14-Team H2H OBP Keep 5 Forever League;

    Betts
    Bogaerts
    JD Martinez
    Sano (keyword OBP league)
    T Turner
    Strasburg
    Carrasco

    Who would you let go if making the decision now?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @RePete: Sano and Strasburg

  6. bossmanjunior333 says:
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    You see the roast of Ann Coulter last night? Sooooooo goooood

  7. Birrrdy says:
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    You almost nailed the glossary term by yourself, Grey.

    I suggest “Gem in the Rough”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Birrrdy: Meh, not feeling that

  8. Joe says:
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    Inciarte or Yasmany ROS?

    • knucks says:
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      @Joe: Tomas or Grandal?

      Assuming Tomas, as its belt with the “y”.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Joe: Yasmany, kinda depends on needs

  9. Marty Jannetty_Was Set Up says:
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    Fantasy Master Lothario…I find myself in quite the predicament after day 1 of the H2H playoffs matchup I’m in. My opponent actually did start Chad Bettis; along with King Felix, Scherzer, and Ian Kennedy to go 4-0 in SP (plus a bonus for a Complete Game Shutout).

    Unfortunately for me the site went down in the hour leading up to my rosters locking and I did start Berrios and Andriesse based on SON, before it came back online and I saw your advice to avoid them. Luckily my bats did some damage yesterday, and I’ve got 2 more starters to use this week in my attempt to catch up and chase down my 3 peat.

    Do we trust in SON today and roll with Paxton and Bucholz, or nah?

    • Marty Jannetty_Was Set Up says:
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      @Marty Jannetty_Was Set Up:

      Hittertron likes Wilmer Flores and Gerrado Parra over Springer and Schoop today. Do you agree with the robot; or do I just roll with the more talented options?

    • Marty Jannetty_Was Set Up says:
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      @Marty Jannetty_Was Set Up: Asdrubal Cabrera or Ian Desmond today?

      Quick round up of my questions (sorry about the obsessive compulsion’esque comments on the day…but that 3 peat tho):

      1. Start Paxton vs Tex?
      2. Start Bucholz vs SD?
      3. Start 3: Flores (vs CIN/Finnegan), A. Cabrera (vs CIN/Finnegan), Parra (vs SF/Shark in Coorss), Springer (@CLE vs. Kluber) , Schoop (@TB vs Odorizzi), Desmond (@SEA vs Paxton).

      Many thanks for all the advice all season my man. If I can pull off this comeback win there’s Dacqueries coming your way by the dozens.

      • Marty Jannetty_Was Set Up says:
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        @Grey: Much appreciated!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No problem

  10. knucks says:
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    Another solid publication, thanks for another great year Grey. While I love autumn, always sad to see the fantasy season wind down. I don’t care as much for football.

    In your opinion, why do you think the SON is so down on the starts for the Mets SPs this coming weekend, which in the @TL against the Barves? I need to stream for QS the rest of the way. Thought it’d be a good opportunity. Perhaps its because the Barves were on a 6 game winning streak until last night (wtf??) They better not foil my Sept streaming strategy that I’ve had since May… One QS could mean the difference between 1st and 3rd for me in this 12 team roto league.

    Gsellman 9/9 (price n/a yet)
    Lugo 9/10 -($3.3)
    Colon 9/11 ($-1.1)

    Lugo and Colon are currently listed as the 9/9 and 9/10 starters with Degrom going on 9/11. I think starters for the weekend were just announced yesterday-ish. If DeGrom is skipped twice, the rotation will prob look like the way I have it listed. But Rudy could be correct, DeGrom could be skipped only once and go again on Sunday. If i were TC I’d use him against the Nats early next week though.

    If we leave DeGrom out of it, can you pick two of the Mets SP that I’ve listed above to stream this weekend (with only the QS category in mind). I’m thinking Lugo and Colon…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @knucks: I’d go with the Mets pitchers, but the Braves haven’t been pushovers recently…Lugo, Colon

      • knucks says:
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        @Grey: Thanks Grey

        Gonna prioritize a grab of Colon, then Lugo on overnight waivers tonight

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No problem

  11. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:
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    Maybe I’m just bitter b/c the dude in my league with Brian Dozier just passed me in the standings, but Dozier seems like the kind of guy who’ll go the Dan Uggla route real fast: Power-hitter who posts a decent average one year, then returns to .220 range, then tanks.

  12. Chicken Dinner says:
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    Glossary term:

    Looks like Ubalbo was going to get rocked after a rough first inning but he Saved Ace
    with 8 shutout innings to follow.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Chicken Dinner: That’s pretty solid, I’ll run it by Rudy

  13. JoeG414 says:
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    Morning ; other than Bucholz vs SD , do you like any of these as streamers today :
    S.Miller @ LAD
    Jose Urena home vs Philly
    Gee @ Minn
    Need K’s and Wins
    Also, for tomorrow :
    Cashner home vs Philly
    Alex Meyer @ Oak
    Brock Stewart home vs DBacks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JoeG414: I’m streaming Urena… Cashner, Stewart

  14. 1. Grey’s under-statement of the year: “[Dozier] doesn’t look much worse than a 25 HR/15 SB guy, which still has value. ” I hope so!

    2. Other names for the Classic Rock Team: Carlos Santana, CLE, Presley, SEA.

    3. Classic Hip Hop Team could begin with Will Smith, SF.

    4. Classic New Wave Team could start rebuilding with Joe Jackson, TEX (AA), C.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @FANTHEAD: 1. Ha 2. Nice! 3. Hehe 4. Awesome. What, no Prog Rock?

      • Grassy Knoll Redding says:
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        @Grey: (Charlie) Culberson, (Junior) Lake & (Michael) Fulmer

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha, nice!

          • FKA Ralph says:
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            @Grey: Elvis Andrus seems to be in play here. Obvious Elvis connection, but also hip hop — “Gin Andrus”, anyone?

            Fernando Rodney would be on the Disco team (see ABBA)!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Rodney?

    • JoeG414 says:
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      @FANTHEAD:
      5. Classic Rock n Roller band that will put on 4 hours shows even when he’s 67 . jay BRUCE.

  15. LGMets says:
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    Start Sanchez tonight @ NYY?

  16. KeeblerMN says:
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    I’ve been held together by SAGNOF all year… drop Kintzler, Gomez, K Rod or J Johnson for Bailey or hold?

    • knucks says:
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      @KeeblerMN: I’d trust your guys over Baily right now

      With you on that SAGNOF train, good luck rest of the way!

  17. the Shelby sensation says:
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    Peraza over Hernan Perez ROS?

  18. Boomer19 says:
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    What an idiot I can be! I traded away Dozier a few weeks ago when I thought his value was high enough. How would you rank these MI for next year? Dozier, Odor, Lindor, Villar? Thanks.

    • JoeG414 says:
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      @Boomer19:
      Same with me with Upton . I cut him on 8/18 when he was about 1 for 36.
      Now the team that just passed me for 2nd has him.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Boomer19: Odor, Lindor, Dozier

  19. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    From Baseball America:

    Ryan Cordell, of, Brewers. Cordell was identified as the player to be named in the deal that sent Jonathan Lucroy to the Rangers. The Brewers had already received center fielder Lewis Brinson and righthanded starter Luis Ortiz. Read more about Cordell here.

  20. Bostero111 says:
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    Yo Grey!

    In a 12 teamer with Wins instead of QS as a category, who do you like best from the below as a streamer today?

    Buchholz @ SD
    Urena vs Phi
    Yoavni Gallardo @ TB

    Thanks!

  21. ashtray says:
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    Didi has been pretty crappy for a few weeks now and I need a replacement.

    League counts OBP and Ks:

    Asdrubal
    Flores
    Alicides
    Peraza
    Reyes

  22. Phil of the Future says:
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    BB,
    Never had a chance to respond yesterday. You’re right. Lynda Carter looks amazing! Also, very little resemblance to Chris, was he adopted?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Phil of the Future: Great question, maybe Chris has that Michael Jackson ailment, vitiligo, but in reverse… Or Lynda just has it

      • Phil of the Future says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Not to answer, but to ruminate…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Haha

  23. dom says:
    (link)

    hey good stuff

    play Yelich (Morgan) or Bregman (@Kluber)?

    I have to sit 2 out of a cold Panik in Coors (@Anderson), Brad Miller (Gallardo), Reddick (S Miller), Bregman (@Kluber). Who should I bench? thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @dom: Miller, Reddick

  24. MichaelK says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey — You are reacting to 2015 Kyle Hendricks who never went deep into games. This year, he’s a Quality Start machine! This is how deep he’s gone over his last couple handful of starts: 6, 7, 6, 6, 7, 7.1, 9, 5.2, 6.1, 6. And he had another complete game back in May. Not too shabby.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @MichaelK: Hendricks has 17 QS, which is 16th in the majors… A guy with a 2.07 ERA who is 16th in the majors for QS? That seems low

  25. Fish says:
    (link)

    Glossary term:
    Early Morning Runs.

    Ex. Ubaldo had a case of the Early Morning Runs. He (it?) became solid thereafter.
    Or…
    Ubaldo must have ate some tainted Indian food last night because he started today with a case of the Early Morning Runs.

    (Apologies to Ubaldo when he Google’s himself and find this)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Fish: Haha, I think saved ace is better, but I’ll run it by Rudy

  26. knucks says:
    (link)

    Last question from me today…

    For SAGNOF ROS, can you rank these 3?

    Peraza, Janky, Tapia

      • knucks says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Should have phrased this better

        I own Peraza and Janky right now… Drop Janky for Tapia?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Meh, if Tapia is a bench bat, b/c he won’t play every day

          • knucks says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Yea so this would be for my only bench bat… I have Peraza in my 3rd (of 3) OF spots and move him into 2B/SS if Seager/Odor sits.

            If Peraza doesn’t play or plays in the 2B/SS slot, Janky slides in to the OF spot in the hopes of a SB or two.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Peraza will play

  27. knucks says:
    (link)

    Sorry, last question.

    Pick 1 to own for the ROS and platoon with Moncada at 3B (once he gains elig)

    Franco or Adonis

  28. FKA Ralph says:
    (link)

    Have a start/sit conundrum.

    I need to sit 1 of these guys today:

    Asdrubal — @CIN/Finnegan — 1.292 OPS last 7 days
    Freddy Galvis — @MOA/Urena — .892 OPS last 7 days (homered yesterday)
    Dae-Ho Lee — home v TEX/Perez — .958 OPS Last 7 days
    Adonis Garcia — @WAS/Gio Gonzalez — 1.054 OPS last 7 days
    Kyle Seager — home v TEX/Perex — 1.005 OPS last 7 days (but doesn’t hit LHPs well)

    Leaning toward sitting Galvis. Any input appreciated. Thanks!

  29. The JoGarza says:
    (link)

    Grey, 12-team OPS league.

    Better SAGNOF option: Jank, Jose Peraza, Dyson?

    Better UTIL bat: Kendrys, Duvall, Adonis, Granderson

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Peraza… Morales

  30. Bostero111 says:
    (link)

    I was hoping Belt would do something in Coors but it seems like a lost cause at this point so I’m dropping him. I have him in a UTIL spot so who would you pick up from the below list?

    Inciarte
    Asdrubal
    Yasmany Tomas
    Cron
    Peraza

    Sorry for double dipping and thanks as always for your help!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Cron

  31. Grassy Knoll Redding says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey,

    1) Would you drop Billy Hamilton at this point for a streaming spot? I already picked up Peraza and Dyson when the injury happened.

    2) After streaming Urena tonight, would you hold on to him? After Philly he’s supposed to get Atlanta then Philly again. Pretty sweet schedule. Do you like him going forward?

    Thanks a lot!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      1. yup 2. Nah

  32. Bruce says:
    (link)

    Im deperate for Innings, (but not too desperate) Do I start Finnegan (vs Mets) and/or Ervin (vs. KC)?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Finnegan

  33. Alex says:
    (link)

    In a SV/HD league, and I’m in need of some down the stretch.

    Bell is my bench bat. Drop him for N. Jones, Benoit, Gregerson, or Bailey?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Bailey

  34. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
    (link)

    I have diddly-squat for the name. I’m terrible at these. “Pitch and Rally” is all I got. Tried to think of something better than pitch but I’m lame.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hmm, I think we have better

  35. Malicious Phenoms says:
    (link)

    Glossary term: from the shit house to the penthouse or from the urban dictionary, rank/dank

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha, made me laugh, but I think we have better

      • Malicious Phenoms says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Well a laugh is better than nothing..Could also be the out house to the penthouse..

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I’ll add it to the list and see what Rudy thinks

          • Malicious Phenoms says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Cool, my first time ever being added to the “list”..lol, thanks, man!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              The list is life!

              • Malicious Phenoms says:
                (link)

                @Grey: Would love to have my term and my name in the razzball glossary for all time.

                Another thing I cud cross off of my bucket list!! haha

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Haha, we’ll see what Rudy says

                  • Malicious Phenoms says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: What kind of bribes does he like? hehe

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Money ones

                    • Malicious Phenoms says:
                      (link)

                      @Malicious Phenoms: OK I understand, wink, wink. I will send Rudy a blank over the internet check (which he will never be able to cash) and hope that is enough of a bribe to be mentioned in the razz bible of glossary terms!!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Wink wink, good thinking

  36. Dr Y says:
    (link)

    teams you are looking to stream against final month of the season?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Padres

  37. JeF WiTh 1 F says:
    (link)

    Glossary……….False Shart

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha, I’ll add it to the list

  38. ebudz says:
    (link)

    10 team H2H Points

    Pitcher Scoring: WIN (+3), LOSS (-3), IP (+3), K (+1), BB (-1), SAVE (+3), HOLD (+1), ER (-2), HIT (-1), SO (+3), NH (+10), PG (+15)

    (4) SP: Carrasco, Price, Salazar, Duffy
    (3) RP: Robertson, Osuna, Giles
    Bench: (Taillon, Nova, De Leon, Bauer, streamer- E. Santana)

    Would you drop Robertson for any of:
    J. Johnson, Thornburg, Madson, Watson, Herrera or drop him to use his RP spot for a streamer SP with RP eligibility like Reyes, Lugo, Phelps* (already own De Leon who is only RP eligible)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Stream Reyes or Lugo when you get there

      • ebudz says:
        (link)

        @Grey: So you’d rather have Robertson over those RPs right now for playoffs?

        I can probably continue streaming guys like Lugo and Reyes using my current SP streamer spot anyway but wasn’t sure what the best use of that RP slot was during this playoff matchup.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah hold

  39. What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas says:
    (link)

    As usual, greyt work!

    I have a two-part question;

    12 team points keeper league. I can keep 10 and need your advice.

    I’m keeping Posey, Votto, Donaldson, Springer, Polanco, Scherzer, Carraaco and Melancon.

    Wims and Saves are worth 10 points. SPs score the most points.

    1) Which 2 do I keep? Odor, Trea Turner, Benitendi, Verlander, McMullers, Edwin Diaz ( if he keeps the job, he has to be kept)

    2) I’ve been offered Altuve and his 14th round pick for my Odor, Votto, and Melancon. It helps clear up roster space. Accept or Decline?

    Thanks for all your help!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks! Odor, Turner… Take Altuve

      • What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas says:
        (link)

        @Grey:
        Thanks!

        If I get Altuve I lose Odor, who do I keep from the list besides Turner?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Benintendi

      • What happens in Vegas... says:
        (link)

        @Grey:
        3 minute reply, nice!

        If you’re ever in Vegas, drinks on me!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Deal!

  40. Five-On-One says:
    (link)

    1) For my CI spot, Adonis, J.Marte, Flores, Plouffe or Josh Bell?

    2) Use Moncado at CI instead of these guys when he becomes eligible?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Adonis… Sure if he’s playing

  41. Fred Garvin MP says:
    (link)

    So you say you are streaming Urena. This is a fine demonstration of “The Padres Theory”, though Urena is vs. the Phils, of streaming. A year or two ago one of my league members ran the numbers on the performances of available starters in our league vs. Padres and the composite ERA was around 3.30 or so.

    Good Luck, may the profligacy of the Phillies offense serve you well.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Interesting

      • Fred Garvin MP says:
        (link)

        @Grey: There are, of course, some practical issues with the implementation of such a strategy. You have to identify the weak team from the outset of the season and not deviate from this strategy in order to prevent negative results due to sample size. Oh yeah, I believe the Padres Theory thing came in the 2014 season.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          You don’t have to identify the weak team that early, you just have to be careful about streaming early… You could stream vs Padtes for half a season and still do well

  42. Five-On-One says:
    (link)

    I picked up Lugo and Gselman because of what I saw as a juicy matchup against ATL. It seems you aren’t so high on these starts. Start either over Fulmer (@BAL, $6.0) or Rodon (vKC, $10.1)?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Not over those

  43. joe is a popular name says:
    (link)

    drop duvall or grichuck for dyson? need R/AVG

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Duvall

  44. John says:
    (link)

    Semifinal stream, looking at Urena home vs PHI, GEE @ MIN with chance of rain, Stripling also available v ARI?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Urena

  45. Steve Stevenson says:
    (link)

    Tue-Mon playoff matchup, 10×10 counting W, L and QS, who’s the odd man out?

    T. Anderson – vSF (SON -15.2), @SD (17.0)
    E. Santana – vKC (6.0), @Det (-5.6)
    Boyd – @CHW (-5.6), vMin (-2.9)
    Nova – vCin (7.6)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Boyd

  46. Ante GALIC says:
    (link)

    Grey!!!

    Fab write-up! Really enjoyed it.

    a. Major SNAFU, just major SNAFU. I’m all right and able to read your stuff – actually that makes me feel more than all right!

    b. You neglected to mention Santana in your LoMo blurb. What’s the matter, don’t you like Santana? He’s not in the same league as Hendrix or Morrison but still, merits some mention in a LoMo blurb.

    See yeah tomorrow.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Agreed, I dropped the ball

      • Ante GALIC says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Grey!!

        Sorry, now I feel badly about mentioning it after only a billion readers have mentioned it. Sad emoji.

        a. In a 12-team ESPN roto 5X5. Need SBs (in 5th place (118), trailing 4th place by only 2) and HRs (in 3rd place with 277, trailing 2nd place by 3 HRs)

        1. Start 5 OFs

        McCutchen at home vs. STL (Weaver)
        Sano at home vs. KC (Gee)
        Fowler @MIL (Peralta)
        JBJ @SD (Clemens)
        KBroxton at home (Hammel)
        Gordon @MIN (Santana)
        Duvall @ home vs. NYM (Montero)
        Dyson @MIN (Santana)

        2. Start 2 at SS and / MI

        Gyorko @PIT (Vogelsong)
        Owings @LAD (Stripling)
        Nunez @COL (Anderson)

        3. Start Luke Weaver tonight @PIT (vs. Vogelsong)? In first in Ws and Ks with 24 starts left for the 180 GP maximum.

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          McCutchen at home vs. STL (Weaver)
          Fowler @MIL (Peralta)
          JBJ
          Duvall @ home vs. NYM (Montero)
          Dyson @MIN (Santana)

          2. Not Owings 3. Nah

          What happened to the cue sunglasses today?

  47. Marc G. says:
    (link)

    Hi Grey and ladies and gentlemen of the jury

    Among these big name starters, is there one worthy of being ditched for Luke Weaver right now?
    Darvish
    J Fernandez
    Carrasco
    Salazar

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nah

  48. griff says:
    (link)

    Is Stanky Greinke even worth rostering at this point?

    • Ante GALIC says:
      (link)

      @griff: Yes! When he pitches in LAD, PIT, SD and ATL.

      Cheers,
      Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Not unless he’s facing an easy team next

  49. The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
    (link)

    GREEEY!

    I have to drop one of these players, who’s the drop

    Melvin Upton

    Colby Rasmus

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Rasmus

  50. ERad says:
    (link)

    Might as well ask a baseball question before it’s too late – I know we all prefer the bat over the arm – but looking ahead to next year as a keeper, you prefer Betances (17th round) over OZUNA(19th round)?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah

      • ERad says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Thanks G

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem

  51. Epitome of Hyperbole says:
    (link)

    Ervin Santana – startable vs KC tonight (6.0)?

    • Malicious Phenoms says:
      (link)

      @Epitome of Hyperbole: Ervin has pitched well lately..He struck out 10 Royals in KC and threw a great game in that start @ the end of August…Run him out there if you really need the start…

  52. Dan says:
    (link)

    Just to confirm what it looks like you’ve answered already, you think Peraza gets more steals than Dyson the rest of the season?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah

  53. Malicious Phenoms says:
    (link)

    Rangers call up Joey Gallo..

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      About time

      • Malicious Phenoms says:
        (link)

        @Grey: agreed, but will they even start him tonight??

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Unlikely

          • Malicious Phenoms says:
            (link)

            @Grey: yup, Gallo is on the bench tonight..

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Prolly for most of the month

  54. VinWins

    VinWins says:
    (link)

    Laura Branigan’s Longoria can rest easy.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

      • VinWins

        VinWins says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Piscotty not starting, though.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Thanks for the heads up! Need to move him

  55. Cohen says:
    (link)

    Grey, would u stream Bucholz at Padres or Urena ?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Urena

      • Cohen says:
        (link)

        @Grey: thanks

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem

      • Steve says:
        (link)

        @Grey: looking mighty shaky….

  56. Malicious Phenoms says:
    (link)

    Rockies recalled Jordan Patterson, who should play some 1B..They released 1B Ben Paulson..

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Damn, they never gave Paulsen any sort of chance

      • Malicious Phenoms says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Yup, that was surprising after he hit 15 homers in 2015..

        Another call-up is Astros SP David Paulino, big time RHP!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          HA!

  57. Joeg414 says:
    (link)

    Catcher Batty Call (Rupp sitting )
    Tyler Flowers @Wsh Gonzalez
    Kurt Suzuki home Gee
    Travis d’Arnaud @Cin Finnegan
    Miguel Montero @Mil Peralta

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Montero

      • Joeg414 says:
        (link)

        @Grey:
        Thanks .
        Streamer like Travis $18.8 ?
        But going with Miguel, lesser SP

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Oh, then go Travis, when in doubt, lean horny robot

          • Joeg414 says:
            (link)

            @Grey:
            Went Miguel.
            My son was the tie breaker. Hopefully he’ wont be sleeping outside tonight .

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Haha

              • Joeg414 says:
                (link)

                @Grey: looks like my son is safe tonight

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Haha

  58. Scott says:
    (link)

    Jefry Marte or Yangervis?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yangervis

  59. Scott says:
    (link)

    Start Weaver today @ Pit?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’m not

  60. Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
    (link)

    is rizzo playing or not? mlb lineups has him in and yahoo is saying no

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Looks like it

  61. Steve says:
    (link)

    When do you think Stantom takes the field again?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      This weekend

  62. Joeg414 says:
    (link)

    Urena first inning.
    I think Grey is sleeping outside tonight ???

    • Joeg414 says:
      (link)

      @Joeg414:
      That was supposed to be smile faces at the end

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha

      • Steve says:
        (link)

        @Grey: so far I’ve streamed Andriese, Berrios and Urena. I’ve had better starts to the playoffs. Oy.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah not great

  63. blevins says:
    (link)

    Drop Moss for Grichuk, Cron, Pence or Pederson?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Cron

  64. ebudz says:
    (link)

    10 team H2H Points

    Pitcher Scoring: WIN (+3), LOSS (-3), IP (+3), K (+1), BB (-1), SAVE (+3), HOLD (+1), ER (-2), HIT (-1), SO (+3), NH (+10), PG (+15)

    Was going to starts Reyes and De Leon this week but now it looks like neither are getting starts?

    Hopefully tonight I can chip away at the 58 point deficit ‘m facing after just day one of this 2 week matchup.

    1. Should I start one of the following tomorrow instead?

    Stewart vs. ARI (19.4)
    Cashner vs. PHI (7.2)
    Ray @LAN (5.5)

    2) Also I found some different options for 9/9 so are there guys worth starting here?

    Pineda vs. TB (22.8)
    Skaggs vs. TEX (13.3)
    Salazar @MIN (10.2)
    McHugh vs. CHN (1.4)
    Lugo @ATL (-3.3)
    Ventura @CHA (-4.7)
    Bauer @MIN (-6.2)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Cashmere…Salazar

      • ebudz says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Sweet thanks!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem

          • ebudz says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Oh also if you had to bench one of these RPs tomorrow who would it be?

            Robertson vs. DET
            Osuna @NYY
            Giles @CLE

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Robertson

  65. herschel says:
    (link)

    @Grey: weekly roto redraft. drop any of cron, moncada, gray or bundy for giancarlo?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Bundy

  66. Hingle McCringleberry says:
    (link)

    ROS – Moncada or Baez?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Moncada

  67. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    Gio Gonzalez is a piece of shit. I bet anything Steve NZ started him

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: you stream Ureana I streamed Gio and it feels like we both just left the proctologist

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Meh, Urena wasn’t that bad

          • VinWins

            VinWins says:
            (link)

            @Grey: At least your closers weren’t Betances and Watson.

  68. muskysmell says:
    (link)

    is it my fault for starting Gio today?
    It was the fucking Braves tho…ugh

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nah, it wasn’t crazy

  69. nick the dick says:
    (link)

    I was behind this dude ordering coffee today and he was taking forever so I said hurry up man. He turns around and says, who the hell do you think you are? I said who am I motha fucka? Check it…

    You be dropping that garbage, i’m the Indian with one tear,
    I’m James Dean with a cigarette behind his ear,
    I’m the most interesting man in the world drinking a beer,
    I’m the Boogeyman and every other monster you fear,
    I’m Mr. Howell smoking out if a coconut pipe,
    With smarts of the Professor, making it a flotation device,
    I’m superhuman, i’m Stan Lee,
    You’re a crazed fan Stan,
    I’m the first man on the Moon,
    I’m American Bandstand,
    I’m like an old boy band,
    I’m the Pretenders, i’m splendid,
    I’m Hendrix playin’ a Fender,
    I’m Lennon, a legend,
    And you offended, you tender,
    Yo i’m rough and rugged, i’m Pac,
    I’m thuggin’, you not,
    You muggin’, I’m Mugsey Bogues,
    Dunkin’ on Dikembe Mutumbo,
    I am him, I am Rakim, that real hip hop,
    The man of steel,
    Man on the hill, when Kennedy got shot,
    I’m Dimaggio with hit streaks,
    Fabio in the sheets,
    A plumber making you spring a leak,
    Yo i’m Super Mario with Princess Peach,
    I’m John Wayne, The Duke,
    I’m fuckin’ Luke wit freaks,
    The truth in the streets,
    And all of ya troops will retreat,
    I’m General Custer, this is my last stand,
    I’m Colonel Mustard, trying to muster up a plan,
    To MacGuyver a lead pipe,
    With Mister Magoo eye sight,
    I’m Walt Disney, i’m Walt White,
    I’m Pacino, Deniro, no, i’m Pesci,
    I’m raw coke, you Pepsi,
    I’m huger than Hugh Hef,
    I’m Elvis fuckin’ Presley,
    And frankly I don’t give a damn, i’m Bogart,
    I’m 90’s, i’m bogeys, Newports,
    You’re Tinman, no heart,
    I’m Son of Sam, in the park, in the dark,
    Das Efx wit’ a style,
    DMX wit’ the bark,
    I’m the Nike of shoes,
    The Cristal of booze,
    The Colt 45 of pis-tals aimed at you dudes,
    My crew is like Wu,
    You a mark wit’ a funky bunch,
    I’m Punk Brewster with spunk,
    You sweet, Ben and Jerry Chunky Monk,
    Yo you Cherry Garcia, i’m the real Jerry,
    Who’s gonna be so Grateful when ya Dead and buried,
    I’m Undertaker at Wrestlemania in a cemetary,
    I’m a bum, no new clothes or new shoes,
    But still so fly,
    I’m the Wright Brothers, i’m Howard Hughes,
    I ain’t no Bozo so don’t try to clown me,
    I’m a bad motha fucka yo, i’m Richard Roundtree,
    I’m shining, i’m Jack Nicholson,
    Winning, i’m Jack Nickalaus,
    I’m rowdy, i’m Roddy Piper,
    I’m fucking ridiculous,
    I’m a pistol for Pete’s sake,
    I’m a real Philly cheesesteak,
    You a faker,
    You a Steak-Um,
    I’m New York cheesecake,
    You a dork, I can’t stand it,
    I’m Mork from another planet,
    I’m every Jackson in their prime,
    Bo, Mike, Janet,
    I’m a rifle in a knife fight,
    I’m Spice-1 dammit,
    I’m an asshole, Dennis Leary,
    I’m Rap City,
    I’m Big Willy,
    I’m MTV,
    I’m Ted Demme,
    I’ma be a millionaire, i’m Ted Dibiase,
    I’m show you how to do this shit,
    I’m Mister Miagi,
    I’m Bruce Lee, Bruce Wayne,
    Bruce Banner, Bruce Buffer,
    I’m ready to rummmble if you fuckas wanna scuffle,
    I’m Buster Douglas of underdogs,
    I’m fat stacks in duffels,
    I’m a genius, i’m Einstein,
    I’m Deon, Prime Time,
    You ain’t nice, you Natty Ice,
    I’m fine wine,
    I’m the king of all music,
    Soul, rock, and hip hop,
    I am everything you are not

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Wow! That’s amazing

      • nick the dick says:
        (link)

        @Grey: But they spelled my name wrong on the cup, so joke’s on me I guess

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, they got last laugh, oh well

    • J-FOH says:
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      @nick the dick: and did you get the coffee or drop the mic and walked out?

      • nick the dick says:
        (link)

        @J-FOH: I George Jeff walked out that bitch with my macchiato

        • J-FOH says:
          (link)

          @nick the dick: pour a little out by the door for the homies?

          • nick the dick says:
            (link)

            @J-FOH: No way, all the espresso is at the top of a macchiato

            • J-FOH says:
              (link)

              @nick the dick: wouldn’t know, I dont drink coffee drinks for skirts

  70. WhiteRabbit says:
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    front-sploded … ya know like front-loaded but eh, whatever

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      We’re going with saved ace

  71. JohnnySquid says:
    (link)

    Glad I didn’t sell Upton after your Sell post on him end of July. I’m just as pissed as you are, but man glad I held him now…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah

  72. Nevik Rowe says:
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    Gary Sanchez on the bench is a better start than Will Myers against Price tonight, right? Pinch hit opportunity vs. an almost assured 0-4.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nah

  73. muskysmell says:
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    Gdammit, Correa has arm problems now….

    Bregman has an outside chance of getting SS eligibility last minute for 2017. His value could skyrocket considering he could qualify for 2B, SS, 3B, OF next year.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I know!

Comments are closed.