Erasmo Ramirez was masterful Friday night in what was one of his best starts of the season going eight strong innings against the we-don’t-lose Windians, allowing just three hits, one earned run and striking out a season high 10 batters. Erasmowing down hitters? ErasMo Innings, Mo Strikeouts? ErasMost definitely more comfortable in Seattle than in Tampa? Ugh, I know. Headlines are hard you guys, I ran out of steam about three weeks ago and I’m sorry but that’s the best I’m going to do. However you headline it, after being wang-jangled around the Rays pitching staff, from starting rotation to bullpen and back again, Ramirez has settled nicely into the starting pitching job he deserves since being acquired by his old team, the Seattle Mariners, in July. He holds a respectable 3.79 ERA in 10 starts with the M’s since, but it’s the 52/13 K/BB ratio that really raises my eyebrow, Dwayne Johnson. If we remove a hiccup he encountered with a rough start in Houston, Erasmo has three quality starts in September with a 22/4 K/BB ratio. Yes, more please! He gets to finish his season strong with a favorable start next week in Oakland, and outside of the obligatory Matt Olson home run, I could see him pitching a successful outing there. At about 10% owned, Ramirez is a streaming option readily available in most fantasy leagues if you’re looking for an easy win to push you over the edge. And if you’ve been out of contention for weeks and are still reading this, first, Ramirez could be a decent late-late round sleeper to consider for 2018, and second, thanks for sticking with us and not jumping ship to fantasy football coverage (which you can check out here). You guys are the true Razzball MVPs. Except of course for the writing staff, obviously, they the real MVPs, especially me.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Justin Verlander – 7.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 14th win. Sweet sassy molassy! JV looks like he’s loving Houston and the word is that my someday future dream ex-wife Kate Upton encouraged Justin to go to Houston. Wow, that’s a good looking ‘Stros fan, you guys. She’s so funny, and smart and pretty, and supportive and smart and funny and pretty. *swoons* Who are we talking about? Oh! Kate Upton! Mmm. She should have her own Razzball player page. Regardless, her BF is 4-0 with his new team with a 0.64 ERA. Who would of thought he’d like Houston better than Detroit. Oh, everyone you say? Regardless. More October Kate please!
Garrett Richards – 6.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, BB, 6 K. Since returning from what seemed like a season-long DL-stint, G-Rich has been dealing since his return. Despite not yet recording a win, he’s rocking a 1.86 ERA, 0.72 WHIP in 19.1 IP with a 20/3 K/BB rate. 11/10 would stream next week if unowned. In addition, should be a great sleeper on draft day considering all the time he missed. Don’t forget! That’s why i tied this string around my finger. For Garret Richards!
Kurt Suzuki – 2-for-4, 2 HR (18), 3 RBI. His second straight game going yard, Kurt is now hitting .294 with 3 homers and 5 RBI in the last week. If you still need a catcher then you probably already lost, but thanks for reading this anyway I guess.
Nick Castellanos – 1-for-4, HR (25). He like-a the sauce! Helios get more sauce for da man! Nicholas is hitting .380 with 5 homers and 15 RBI in the past two weeks. Slashing .269/.318/.490 with 95 RBI, he could be a sneaky pick on draft day next year for those who can remember he ended strong. Don’t worry, we’ll remind you!
Ian Kinsler – 2-for-4, HR (21). Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show up–my fourth pick. I see you’ve hit 6 homers with 9 RBI in the past two weeks. No need to keep that up I’ve been out of contention since August. Also, I hate you.
Brian Dozier – 2-for-5, HR (32), SB (16). Don’t sleeeep on Dozier!! When Dozier’s visiting Detroit he likes his slam & legs with a side of mom’s spaghetti–because B. Rabbit!
Byron Buxton – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBI. Bux is slashing .256/.319/.426 with 16 bombs and 27 SBs. It’s a bit more impressive if you consider he didn’t do anything for the first 4 months of the year. The stats are modest enough where you should still be able to draft him everywhere next year, and I have a feeling you’re definitely going to want to. This kid’s going to be a star. Ha-cha-cha!
Rafael Devers – 2-for-4, HR (9), 3 RBI. See Buxton, Byron. RE: drafting everywhere in 2018.
David Price – 2.2 IP, 3 hits, BB, 4 K. Base hit. The first career hit for Price which is kind of hard to believe? So I refuse to believe it! He remains hitless in his lifetime. The good news is, the Sawx found their $17 million dollar eighth inning guy.
Billy Hamilton – 2-for-5, with a run scored in his return from the DL. If you’ve been holding him so he’ll steal you 10 bases in the final week, well, then good luck that could totally happen and I’m rooting for you!
Scooter Gennett – 1-for-3, Grand Slam HR (27). Dude is slashing .297/.345/.548 with 27 bombs and 93 RBI. Scooter is hitting .292 with 3 homers in the past week, but the 93 RBIs stood out to me. That’s more than any player on the Red Sox! Ol’ Scooter getting it done. If you need a new Scooter, I’d recommend a Vespa. But also, I don’t know anything about scooters.
Norichika Aoki – 3-for-4, HR, SB (4). Nori’s hitting .444 with 3 stolen bases and 4 runs in the past week leading off for the Mets. Does your fantasy team need runs or steals? Nori is a A-Okay pick up for the final week, and there not took many of those left right now!
Jeurys Familia – 0.1 IP, SV (4). His first save since May! No you probably shouldn’t pick him up. But maybe you can draft him next year? I’ll keep you posted.
Travis d’Arnaud – 2-for-4, 2 HR (15). Two d’bombs! Travis has been three times flame emoji in September and has 4 homers and 10 RBI in the past two weeks while hitting .333. If you have yet to find a decent catcher for the squad–you’ve clearly learned nothing from reading this blog and I applaud you’re below average psychotactics and memory retention.
Aaron Judge – 2-for-2, HR (46). Three bombs in the past week. Thank you, Your Honor. Remember when we all thought he was washed up and the biggest bust since Chris Shelton? No? Just me then. He’s slashing .286/.435./.778 with 9 homers and 20 RBI in September. Sounds like a decent month, I guess–yawwwn. *cough* Benny’s better *cough* Can’t wait to see some joker draft him first round next year. Then you’ll be sorry!
Marco Estrada – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 3 BB, 4 K. Probably one of Marco’s best starts of the season. Unfortunately those who own him have been out of contention for months, and if you are still in contention you probably dropped him in July.
Teoscar Hernandez – 2-for-4, HR (3). What is it with the Blue Jays and their rando lead off hitters. “Let’s lead off our struggling slugger batting .200 for the first 3 months. Oh wait, I don’t think this is working, we’re in last.” Uncle Oscar has a respectable .268/.288/.518 slash with 3 homers in 19 games, and could be useful in your super deep AL East Only league for the next week. Especially since he’s leading off! It’s genius!
Wilson Ramos – 3-for-4, Grand Slam HR (10). Historians will study my fantasy league many years in the future and will point to this home run as the moment my 2017 squad died.
Yoan Moncada – 1-for-4, HR (8). The go-ahead two run homer for the win, Yoan is already bringing the passion and fire back the the South Side. How is he a BUY? How is he owned in less than 50% of leagues. Why am I not in these leagues? I want me some Yoan, people. The kiddo is hitting .333 with 5 homers, 11 RBI, 11 runs, and 2 SB in the past two weeks. Also, clutch hits! That can win your fantasy league!
Whit Merrifield – 3-for-5, run, SB (33). A rapist’s Whit leads the AL in steals! He’s also hitting .423 with 4 steals in the past week! Merrifield was the player I told you to pick up most often, and judging by that 88.5% ownership, I did good. I can retire a below average to poor fantasy advice blogger.
Juan Minaya – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, K, SV (6). He is the definition of SAGNOF my friends. That’s two saves in two days though. If you don’t get them, you’re opponent might, and [expletive deleted] that guy!
Trevor Bauer – 7.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, 3 BB, 6 K. After blowing the Windians winning streak last week Bauer pitched like the Ace I’m drafting him as next year. That’s right, I’m telling you all to draft Trevor Bauer next year right now. My Mark VII Quantum E-meter is off the charts for this guy! #guttertothegrail
Jon Gray – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 8 K, 9th win. Nifty Ks of Gray. His fourth straight quality start. To those who said the Rockies could never have an Ace, Jon has five words for you, “When can I get traded.”
Trevor Story – 1-for-4, HR (22). Better late than never? Hateyousomuchrightnow.
Ian Desmond – 2-for-4, HR (6), SB (13). The slam & legs! Who knows? Maybe Desmond comes alive in the playoffs and makes the Rockies GM look like a genius. But you? You’ll still be bitter you drafted him so high. And for that I apologize.
Cody Bellinger – 1-for-3, HR (39). Cody has an excellent chance to become the youngest player ever to hit 40 home runs. This is really something considering I didn’t even know who he was when the season started in March. I credit my excellent research team for that one. This is why I fantasy baseball, you guys.
Pablo Sandoval – 1-for-4, HR (4). Panda is hitting .444 with 2 homers and 5 RBI in the past week. Sounds like someone is playing hard for a job next year. Pick him up if you hate yourself.
Zack Greinke – 4.0 IP, 9 hits, 8 ER, 2 BB, 3 K. His ERA ballooned from 2.87 to 3.18 with the bad start. Speaking of hating yourself–much props to Zack Greinke for waiting for the most inopportune time to crush his fantasy owners dreams in the playoffs.
Chris Iannetta – 3-for-4, 2 HR (16), 8 RBI. The Snakes scored 13 runs on 15 hits but whata day for the back-up starting catcher. I’ve mentioned a lot of catchers today, whoa, I must be running out of things to say. Something something Scientology, yadda yadda yadda, Star Wars. Now who needs to be audited?
Justin Bour – 1-for-5, 3-run HR (24). Has now homered in three straight and was a BUY for the final week! This could be my last BUY of the year, people! It’s how I get paid what the U.S. government has deemed a “barely livable wage.” It’s a good thing I don’t mind compromising my own opinions and shilling the product for that sweet sweet paper. GET MONEY, GET MONEY, GET MONEY!
Marcell Ozuna – 2-for-4, 2 HR (36), 3 RBI. Ozuna hit multiple baseballs real far. Ozuna have week to outshine Stanton. Ozuna try hardest. Miami was eliminated from playoffs contention last night and considering Marcell has 118 RBI and Stanton has 121, that’s a shame upon shames. I guess you really do need pitching to win in this league. Regardless, the Marlins scored 11 runs on 17 hits with the biggest ticker tease of Giancarlo going 0-for-4. Why is this happening to me?
J.D. Martinez – 3-for-4, HR (26), 2 RBI. Likely the best mid-season trade acquisition, J.D. hit his 26th home run for his new team (42 total) with his 3rd dinger in the past week. He’s hitting .400 with 13 homers and 27 RBI in September and is carrying Arizona and likely any fantasy team lucky enough to own him, to the postseason. Should be interesting seeing where he’s drafting next year. And by interesting I mean, unfortunately, there’s no way I’m getting Martinez next year.
Shin Soo Choo – 1-for-5, HR (21). I feel like Choo always comes up big in the final weeks of the season just to make me mad. That’s right, he’s performing well just to spite me. Is that paranoia?
Blake Treinen – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, 2 K, SV (10). Oh hey, one last BUY! And he’s got 3 saves in the past week! What more do you want from the guy? Decent ratios? Bahh! Ratios are for nerds, I’m all about those counting stats, boi!
Matt Olson – 1-for-4, HR (24). ALL HE DOES IS HIT HOME RUNS! No literally. STOP. It’s killllling me. In fact, he hasn’t recorded a hit that didn’t go yard since September 12th, which was, like, calculating…calculating…calculati–10 days ago! He’s got 9 homers in the past two weeks with 15 RBI and he is carrying you to a championship, or if you’re me, burying your dreams of a championship with his barrage of bombs. Please stop now, Matt. STOP. We get it. We’ll draft you next year. You are new Josh Donaldson. You are old Ryon Healy. Whatever you want. O great and powerful fantasy overlords, just let me win my league.
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. To all of you jokers heading into your last competitive week: Good luck! Don’t forget to have fun! And I hope all your teams win equally!