Yesterday, was National Sibling Day and Josh Naylor (2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer) and Bo Naylor (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer) showed us what it means to be a brother. A brother’s bond is an unshakeable promise to always be there for each other. I can think of two sets of Gallagher brothers alone that show this: Liam and Noel Gallagher, who found an Oasis in the desert of 90’s rock, and Leo and Ron Gallagher, who showed us there was room on a watermelon for more than one sledgehammer. Don’t even start me on sisterly bonds, Dear Abby has some advice for those who don’t understand: Stop being dumb! That’s a Dear Abby quote she said about her sister. So, Josh Naylor’s homered two days in a row, and I gave you a Josh Naylor sleeper. Why dubya. That’s YW. As in you’re welcome! Acronyms work so well when you have to spell them out. Then you have his little bro Bo peep who lost one, going deep. He’s a baaaaah man! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Tanner Bibee – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 5.93. My AL Cy Young ticket for Bibee is burning a hole in my pocket, because it’s possessed by the devil. Someone help me get my pants off!
Steven Kwan – 2-for-5 and his 2nd homer, hitting .386. Had Kwan everywhere last year for a subpar year and I’m beginning to think I’m a year off on everyone. 2025 is the year of Jordan Walker!
Yoan Moncada – Will miss three to six months with an abductor strain. An abductor is something a mollusk has; an oyster is a mollusk. The saying “the world is your oyster” does not apply to the White Sox this year, therefore Moncada is out with an abductor strain. A mollusk you a question, do you care?
Matt Holliday saying he wishes he stuck it out and played at the same time as Jackson. Well, Matt, I have a surprise for you! Have you seen the White Sox lineup?
— Razzball (@Razzball) April 11, 2024
Gavin Sheets – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 5 RBIs and a slam (2) and legs (1). 2nd homer? That’s two Sheets to the wind!
Bobby Miller – 4 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 5.40. Wow, really enjoying owning this ace. Watch out, Cy Young, the pitcher not the award! All your records will be beat! (I’m trying to coax something out of him. Fingers crossed he responds to sarcasm.)
Max Muncy – 1-for-4 and his 2nd homer. Max is the Municiest!
Edouard Julien – 3-for-4, 3 runs and his 2nd and 3rd homer. He’s on pace for 48 homers, so, yeah, of course you should drop him. Smart stuff. A+ fantasy managing.
Griffin Jax – 1 IP, 0 ER, 3 Ks, ERA at 0.00. Sadly, he’s the closer, but doesn’t get saves, because Baldelli thinks he’s doing something strategic, and who knows? Maybe he is. Ain’t helping my fantasy teams though!
Ivan Herrera – 1-for-4 and his 3rd homer. Patreons already have this week’s Buy/Sell, and SPOILER ALERT! Herrera isn’t there, but I strongly contemplated him, but Contreras is firmly blocking him. In two-catcher leagues, you can likely do worse than Herrera.
Lance Lynn – 5 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.63. Four walks in five innings is more disconcerting than his crotch grabs.
Jeff Hoffman – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.84 and his 1st save. Closing games is no hassle for the Hoff! 2nd time in the last two chances that Hoffman saw the save opp, and Alvarado shouldn’t have been unavailable. If the Phils’ closer role is between Alvarado and Hoffman, it’s 60/40. Only don’t know if it’s Hoffman/Alvarado or Alvarado/Hoffman.
Yusei Kikuchi – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.30. I know there must be a difference between the 3rd round pick or $30+ spent in drafts for Gausman vs. $1 for Kikuchi or pick 220 overall, but I can’t figure it out.
Logan Gilbert – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.66. Please talk to George Kirby! Give him some pointers! I’m begging you!
Cal Raleigh – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Also, in this game, Vladimir Guerrero Jr. (1-for-4) hit his 3rd homer. This game had more back than a Lizzo concert.
Michael Busch – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer, hitting .270. His name reminds me of a story. Was walking in my neighborhood when I saw a girl walking a dog. Now, I’m a crazy dog person. I love dogs more than people. So, I scream at the girl, “What a cute poochie!” Only she doesn’t hear poochie.
Jurickson Profar – 3-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer this week. Profar with a little schmotato going!
Jake Cronenworth – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer, 2nd homer in three games. Okay, maybe everyone on the Padres is hot. Well, except Machado.
Dylan Cease – 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.16. Was out on Cease in the preseason, but he looks way better than he’s looked in over a year.
Joey Gallo – 1-for-3 and his 3rd homer, 3rd homer in eight games. Hot schmotato alert!
Jordan Hicks – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 1.00. It’s the Year of the Bullpen Arm Turned Starter. No, I don’t fully trust Hicks, but the Streamonator loved yesterday’s start for a reason.
Jung-Hoo Lee – Didn’t play yesterday. If you were wondering why the Giants actually scored runs. Can we go back two weeks when Lee was the leader in Spring Training exit velocity and make sure I never hear about?
Brandon Lowe – Injured his oblique while warming up. I’d laugh it wasn’t so sad.
Zack Littell – 4 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.17. That start is the new blech. Meh, we move.
Jose Caballero – 1-for-3 and his 1st homer. If you look for Caballero on the 7-day Player Rater, you’ll see a hot schmotato. Look at me teaching you how to fish for schmotatoes.
Jo Adell – 2-for-4 and his 1st homer. He snuck into the lineup by wearing Rendon’s jersey.
Ryan Weathers – 5 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 1 K, ERA at 2.57. It’s a little funny to me that the one Marlins starter I didn’t want is the only one pitching well. A little.
Jake Burger – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Burger gonna eat!
Tanner Scott – 1 2/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 1.59, and his 1st save! Though, didn’t make it easy for himself as he loaded the bases for Aaron Judge (0-for-4). Luckily, he’s switched bodies with Giancarlo this year (1-for-3, 4th homer).
Cody Bradford – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.40. All right, time to investigate a guy who I thought was just a Streamonator call. So, first off, Rangers do good things with their pitchers. They get a lot of their guys. Well, except Heaney. Bradford is a junk-throwing lefty. Relies mostly on an 81 MPH change that’s set up by a 91 MPH fastball. That sounds pretty meh on its surface, but what do I keep saying about pitching now? It’s all about command specialists, and Bradford is the best of the best. He’s allowed two walks in 19 1/3 IP, and that’s his norm. I don’t think I’m in for the shallowest of leagues, but good chance for wins and solid ratios has a place in 12-teamers and deeper.
Zack Gelof – 1-for-5 and his 2nd homer, hitting .239. Wasn’t a fan of Gelof in the preseason, and so far I don’t regret it, but that can change overnight.
Elly De La Cruz – 2-for-3 and his 3rd homer, hitting .318. I’d feel better about fading Elly if Oneil was hitting bombs to Mr. Rogers’s neighborhood.
Hunter Greene – 6 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.86. Hard to take a victory lap on avoiding Greene when Booby Miller is killing me. But lowercase yay, I guess.
Christian Yelich – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. I made a Yelich MVP bet, but didn’t draft him anywhere. Grey, stop making sense!
Blake Perkins – 1-for-2, 2 runs and a slam (1) and legs (2). He’s a bench guy for the Brewers, and he has 45-steal speed. The Brewers’s bench is almost as interesting for fantasy as the Orioles’ Triple-A team. Compliment!
Seth Lugo – 6 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 1.45. Yes, I wish I had Seth Lugo instead of Bobby Miller. What’s it to you?
Vinnie Pasquantino – 3-for-3, 2 runs, 5 RBIs and his 1st homer. “Do you mind if I use his body so I can drive in the car pool lane–Hold up! Vinnie moved! Mama mia! He’s alive!”
Spencer Arrighetti – 3 IP, 7 ER, as he debuted. I know what you’re thinking. No, Arrighetti didn’t give up the home run to Vinnie. But he did give his blessing.
Blaze Alexander – 2-for-2 and his 1st homer. My mind is so polluted by pop culture, I read Blaze’s name and hear Kanye telling Sway he doesn’t have the answers.
Michael Toglia – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer. ACKSUALLY have Toglia in an NL-Only league, so I know he doesn’t play every day, even though he’s a switch hitter, which is some galaxy-brain’ing by Bud Black.
Kutter Crawford – 5 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 4 walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 0.57. Didn’t look very in command of his pitches, but also: Kinda unhittable.
Triston Casas – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Two hits, two runs, two RBIs, two homers, a four of a kind turned over by the man with the gorgeous manicure.
Jordan Westburg – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Take that for the people worried he’s losing PT to JH.
Jackson Holliday – 0-for-4, 1 RBI as he made his debut and hit 9th. Can remember when Tiger Woods was Jackson Holliday’s age, and now Tiger looks like a grandfather who just had a prostate exam [closes computer, tosses computer out window].
