Three. Let’s get that out of the way right now, said like Gordon Ramsay. One Polanco to type, one Polanco to dictate the words and one Polanco to move the keyboard around so the typing Polanco doesn’t just keep hitting the same letter. That’s three Polancos. How many Polancos does it take to hit four home runs in four games? That’s one Jorge Polanco. Not Juan Polanco, he’s not a baseball player. Juan Polanco is a cloud competitor in the Vape Olympics. Any of you ever feel down on yourself remember this simply thing: there’s people who compete in exhaling vape. “Hey, guy, you’re not really competing in something, you’re, uh, exhaling.” Jorge Polanco has actually had a decent season (for him), though it’s mostly contingent on his last week. This Buy is wholly contingent on his last week. He’s no longer Jorge Polanco, he’s Jorge Schmotato, and he will rescue your teams from their failings and take out your garbage. Okay, maybe not the 2nd part, but, damn, I wish that were true. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Wilson Ramos – I got no patience, and I hate waiting…*mumbles something that Jay-Z sung that sounds vaguely racist* I understand not wanting to wait for a catcher to do something, but Ramos is worth setting and forgetting like Ron Popeil.
Rhys Hoskins – C’mon, Rhysus is not really owned in only 38% of leagues, right? Can ESPN at least tell us that their ownership numbers are only updated once a month? Please us, Rhysus?! Raise us, Rhysus?! Rhysus, my Gawd and Savior?! Not only owned in 38% of leagues. No way. Or has that many people moved onto fantasy football leagues. (Segue, snitches!)
Josh Bell – Well, Bell — I’m a poet and I’m aware of it! — is no Rhysus or Rhyeezy, but he’s been more than ownable.
Ryon Healy – He’s owned in how many leagues? 37%?! Ugh, I don’t know, guys and five girl readers, it’s the best way to find Buys that I can think of, but if others don’t do their part and own guys that should be owned, the results are skewed.
Kolten Wong – This guy is such a throwback player! Like a throwback to 1903, because he has two homers on the year. Though, Wong has been hot, no homo.
Willie Calhoun – He better get called up for the roster expanding, or we’re over! That’s the royal we, as in we’re wearing a Burger King crown that we stole off some kid’s head.
Nicky Delmonico – *70-year-old women put their half-smoked cigarettes into the ashtray and politely clap* Hello, I’m Nicky Delmonico, and I’m going to make your panties wet. *he pulls a Super-Soaker from his bag and sprays the audience to a less than enthusiastic response* Okay, I’ll just hit a few home runs and sing other peoples’ songs.
Amed Rosario – Forget what you learned over the last five months, it’s now the Amedizing Mets! (By the way, are they using this yet? If not, they should be, and it won’t be long until they are.)
Curtis Granderson – With the trade to the Dodgers, Granderson remains exactly the same kind of player. I can’t remember a player being traded and have his value stay so similar, but I’m only remembering from about August 17th to now.
Delino DeShields – Has been playing every day, and, well, I’m stretching already for compliments, but if you need SAGNOF, go for it.
Yangervis Solarte – Weird week, I could’ve named a bunch of Padres — also Spangenberg, Pirela, Margot — and a few Twins — also Eduardo Escobar, Rosario — but I think that might have a bit to do with what pitching they were just facing. Solarte, however, is a guy I could just see owning.
Kevin Kiermaier – Very similar to Yangervis Solarte. I will call them, Kevervis Kierarte, which also sounds like a new age karate that is done in a very hot studio. “I’d break that wood block, but I’m sweating my nuggets off!”
Matt Joyce – Okay, here’s the thing, there’s plenty of hitters available, but you really need to grab guys based on needs at this point in the season. Don’t really have time to play it out to see how good someone will become. With that said, Joyce is a power-platoon bat.
Brad Ziegler – Was about to say I’ve been so happy with Ziegler since I grabbed him for saves, but that sounds like a major jinx. Ugh, I just jinxed him anyway, didn’t I?
Arodys Vizcaino – This postseason he’s going to interview players while they’re on the toilet. Wait, that’s A-Rod, not Arodys.
Brad Brach – In case the Orioles are lying about the health of their closer, which, ya know, would make them the first club ever to lie about the health of a player.
Sam Dyson – While you’re waiting for Melancon to become the closer again, Dyson has been getting saves. Sorta like when your mother says to you, “While your friends become successful, you blog.” Wait, am I the only one that hears that from their mother?
Tyler Glasnow – Honest question, did someone hear the Pirates say Glasnow would be up any day now? I mean, I know September 1st is right around the corner, but it was as if Ray Searage and C**nt were at a Pirates’ symposium, dressed in Glasnow’s jersey, taking questions from Pirate fans, because I’ve received so many questions about Glasnow in the last few days. Any hoo! I love Glasnow, and would stash him, but rookie pitchers are iffy as all get-out.
Jack Flaherty – I’m a huge Jack Flaherty fan, a Fanerty? No, not a Fanerty. I don’t dress up like a ceiling fan wearing a Cardinals’ jersey and show up at the games. Or do I?! On Prospector Ralph’s top 100 prospects list, Flaherty was 45 overall, and he can give you Ks and command, a lovely combo. The ‘he’ in that is Flaherty, not Prospector Ralph, though, maybe it is him too.
Blake Snell – I like what he’s done recently, but this is more of a Stream-o-Nator call. Like the call it makes to 911 to chat.
Dan Straily – Yes, Stream-o-Nator too, but this start is against the Padres. The Padres wear brown robes tied together with phone cords, does this scare anyone (over the age of consent)?
SELL
Carlos Gonzalez – If you click on CarGo’s name, you’ll see he’s owned in 93% of leagues, and has two homers and two steals in the last 30 days. Jorge Polanco beat that on Monday of this week. I will now laugh hysterically in a public place until someone asks me if I am okay.
A.J. Pollock – How many Pollocks does it take to write a Sell column? Okay, been there, half-drunkenly wrote that. Three, by the way. Three Pollocks. One Pollock to hold the Sell column, and two Pollocks to spin it. Pollock strikes me as a guy that will be difficult to ignore next year, as his draft day price comes back to earth like a UFO I saw in a grainy black & white clip. But this is about this year, and this year? I think you can do better than Pollock, just for the halibut!
Happy Friday to you! I am starting to wonder who will be better ROS, Hoskins or Bellinger and where each would be ranked in 2018? Your thoughts?
Bellinger, not close
First!
@Cram It: Goddammit
Haha, all weekend, people will be looking at this, just shaking their heads
Even us lurkers will be shaking our heads. Well [email protected]Grey:
Thanks!
@Grey: Ha. That’s what I’m hear for!
Hopefully people read your Matt Thoyce blurb and stop asking ROS questions. Don’t you know what you need by now?! :/
Haha, “Should I pick up Brad Brach or Jorge Polanco?” *Cram is fitted for a strait jacket*
@Grey: Haha. I was tamer this year, I think?
It’s pretty funny how these guys who ask questions every. single. day. just disappear this time of year. (Not naming names).
Haha, yeah, you were a pussycat at times, even asking people what they need…
Honeywell or Glasnow, ROS?
Any guess at a Calhoun projection for ROS?
Glasnow… Kole?
Oh, Willie, dur… Maybe a couple homers, depends how much he plays
@Grey: ty
np
So, The Rays just signed Danny Espinosa to play at 2B with Miller.
If only there was another option at 2B…..
Hilarious!
How would you rank Kiermier, Sunday Santana and Hicks ROS?
Hicks, Domingo
Dropping Salazar (or Melky, meh). I’m first in my league and so I’m not as focused on SURVIVE RIGHT NOW moves as I am on putting the pieces in place for a playoff run. I have one add left this week (and get my usual allotment of four adds back on Monday). Who would you prioritize adding with my one add left this week?
Glasnow? Harvey? Estrada? Hammel? Honeywell?
12-team, h2h, 5×5, redraft.
C – Realmuto; 1B – Smoak; 2B – Dozier; 3B – Freeman; SS – Machado; OF – Merrifield, Duvall, Melky ; Util – Pham; Bench – Souza; DL – Correa
SP – Severino, Corbin, Chacin, Weaver, Wood (DL), Salazar (DL); DL – Cueto
RP – Holland, Greene, Doolittle, Vizcaino, Bedrosian
Glasnow over Salazar
12 team. H2H, 6X6. ROS – Odor or M. Franco?……Thanks,
Odor
In a 10 team h2h obp for ROS….
J Polanco, Spang, A Rosario?
E Rosario or J Bell?
Corbin, Rodon, or Lamet?
Thanks!
Rosario…Rosario…Corbin
Sup Greylord!!! Love me some buy/sell fridays!!
1) Rhys or Kiermaier ROS
2) you gonna watch the fight tomorrow night? Who u rooting for
3) what do you think of the name Roman for a boy? Yes or yawnstipating?
Sup Nightmare? Rhys… 2. Who’s fighting? 3. Yes, I like it, better if black, but fine if white or Asian
great stuff, as usual. checked out the podcast too (no, i dont skip over the intro)…very cool.
thanks for your sage advice all season, too…and that goes out to all the contributors.
so yeah,that was my into. you can skip it. aaanyway….
scooter vs, spangenberg vs solarte vs…margot.
players i would consider dropping for any of the above: pham, mchugh, arlodis chapman, charlie morton, mazara,,,,story (ducks)
ros. could use some power, but wondering what you think about those 4 ros vs someof my team who have slown down a bit, 12 teamer/h2h
h, r, hr, rbi, sb ops.
thanks very much!
=dave
Ha, thanks! Maz and Story for Margot and Scooter
Roman? that would be cool if his last name was “Debauchery”
30th!!
33!
Grey
Pitch Chase Anderson in LA tonight?
Nah
Looking at dropping Trumbo and LoMo for someone who may actually hit. My playoffs aren’t until the week of 9/11, Hold these guys for a few more weeks to see if they show some signs or make some moves? Options include:
Gallo, Chris Davis, Semien, Pirela, Wong, Hernandez, J. Polanco, Solarte, Margot
Some position flexibility with any pick ups would add some value
Margot over LoMo, then maybe someone else for Trumbo but I’d wait we got closer to your playoffs
would you start C Anderson toinght @LAD? or stream a better start against a weaker team later in the weekend? 6×6 H2h Mixed
I wouldn’t start Anderson
Grey,
dynasty team
can add, over Gurriel
DelMoNico or Healy … or DeJong or Suarez ,,,
Healy…
R. Davis or DeShields. Also who do you feel overall is a better player?
Thanks and have a nice week. Going back over 100F in Sacramento.
Delino, you too!
Hello Grey,
Which 3 of the following for my quickly dying group of schmucks in our 10 Team H2H Points League:
Peralta
Margot
Buxton
Hicks
Grandy
Thanks very much Grey and have a great weekend.
Bux, Margot, Hicks
Would you rather use a trade to turn Trevor Story into Alex Bregman or Odor into LeMahieu ?
thanks
Story into Bregman
A. Garcia or E. Rosario ROS? Thanks, have a great weekend.
Eddie, you too!
Need a SS to help me make a run at the playoffs. Thinking I know your call based on today’s Buy, but just to be sure: Villar, J. Polanco, Rosario, Semien, Galvis?
Amed
@Grey: thx. i had thought polanco!
No problem
Never would have thought heading into this year I’d sell cargo for a 19th round pick next year and story for a 13 next year.
I’m happy without them though on my team.
I hear ya
Jack Flaherty or McHugh ROS?
McHugh
Just got around to the podcast – thanks for the shoutout!
Duda!
Can’t believe I’m in the presence of Taco Bell royalty (I’m still totally lost as to who your dad’s son really is, but I’m about as dense as solid nickel)
If you get to 1000 reviews, can we get two podcasts a week?
Margot or Pollock ROS?
Ramos or Hedges ROS
Thanks, have a somewhat ok weekend.
If you make 999 other alias and give us 1000 5-star reviews, I will do 2 podcasts a week…. Margot…Ramos… You too!
Gattis or Avila ROS? Never carry 2 catchers and gattis was just activated, is why I ask.
Thanks
Avila
Should I hold onto chase Anderson and/or Colin Mchugh or pick up someone like Straily, Glasnow or Flaherty? Thanks
Lose Anderson for Straily
Looking to trade Familia and Bedrosian to a team that can gain points in saves on my main competitors for 1st place. I can either get Luke Weaver or Luis Castillo.
Weaver: @MIL, @SF, PIT, CIN, @CIN, CHC, MIL
Castillo: PIT, @PIT, MIL, @STL, PIT, BOS, @CHC
I’m leaning Weaver despite Castillo’s sample size and stuff, and Weavers possible non rotatiin spot down the line, Weavers got a better park and on a team fighting. Wondering what you and Stream O Nator think? Thanks!
@Rosales is Aviles: Non Keeper, 10 Team, Roto
Sure, try Weaver, looking at a coin flip
It’s a buy Friday! Lost track of the days. Rolling with this lineup –
Tonight Wacha v TB, Maeda v MIL, Porcello v BAL.
Sunday Nola v CHC, Straily v SD
(all home)
Sit any of those for Stripling v MIL tomorrow?
Nah, forget Stripling
@Grey: thanks! Mainly holding on to him to see how he does tomorrow. Next week he’s @SD
Yeah, we’ll see, I think he’s only going 5 IP at most
Grey!
Always look forward to the Friday Buys, can’t stop tinkering. In a tight fight for 1st in 10 tm 6×6 (OPS and Holds)keeper, but sat in dead last for the first quarter of the season. Owe the turnaround to all the great info from the site! Thanks!
Nicky over Marwin or LoMo? Also J Polanco over with either of those schmohawks? Luis Valbuena worth an add, his numbers have been stellar (when he plays).
Thanks again, have a great weekend!
No problem! Nicky over LoMo, Valbuena over Marwin, you too!
calhoun or albies
Albies
In the spirit of doing whatever it takes, there are only 3 guys that I drafted on my active roster today, and my outfield consists of Hoskins, Schebler and Hicks – and Hicks is only there because Pham isn’t playing!
Love it!
@Grey: One of my drafted guys is Abreu though :-)
He’s the closest thing we have to the 30/100/.300 Matsui and Carlos Lee types of yesteryear, right?
Oh man, totally… need more of those guys…
Slim picking for streamers:
I need to pick one:
Newcomb vs Colo-SON +2.9 or
Cotton vs Tex-SON+3.0
Who would you go with
Thanks
Neither…Newcomb
Grandy or Hicks to pair with Souza, Buxton, Cain and Gardner? 11 tm roto
Thanks For another awesome column! Have a great weekend. Cheers!
Thanks! Hicks
Kyle seager or Suarez
Wilson Ramos or Avila
Can Buxton keep this going?
Seager….Avila… I think so re: Bux
@Grey: Good. I own Seager and Avila. Picked up Buxton but had to drop him for Rhysus :)
Nice!
Polanco or Choo? my league does count obp
Polanco
Giancarlo has 16 dongs in his last 21 games, and 28 in his last 44.
We’re reaching erection levels that shouldn’t even be possible right now.
yeaaah the schebler elves are back baby!
Haha
Hey grey!
Would you drop kiermaier for Healy? I’m in 1st but losing ground and trying to avoid holding every player from ‘how-much-do -i-give-a-shit-about-baseball’syndrome. (I’m a Phillies fan)
Sure, if you need power
babababaababa he’s always hurt! i can’t draft that guy in the top 15!
whathahahahahahah trust yer player raters y’all that’s how you fantasy baseball. seriously he must average like 5 total bases a game these days.
@Steve Anus: meanwhile, good god how bad buxton must’ve been what with his OPS just now approaching .700 after numerous weeks of being awesome.
Yup
Haha
@Grey: well at least i got in on stanton the last time when he’ll be cheap for the next whatever years, the next time won’t be till his career is winding down and my hair is white enough to stop getting carded hopefully everywhere.
Haha, yup
Conforto in a keeper league
If I keep him i will have him in the 18th round next year, we can keep 5, do you keep him over
Corey Seager 14th rd
Justin Turner 18th
Dee Gordon 8th rd
JD Martinez 12th rd
Corey Kluber 13th rd
@m: i shold add its a 12 team
Maybe over Turner
10Team H2H OBP+SLG
Looking to set my optimal roster going into playoffs in 2 weeks.
OF is currently: Springer,Hoskins,Granderson) . Just lost Conforto
Pollock (from my bench) or swap him for Buxton ROS?
Last 30 days:
OPS: Pollock 530, 1 bag
Buxton 900 OPS, 7 bags
is what is tempting me….
Bux
Should I drop Margot, Howie, or K Seager, Eddie Rosario, Hicks for any in your list? (avialable: bell, wong, ahmed, granderson, delmonico, solarte)
Could strengthen steals and avg, thanks
Bell over Howie
Holds and saves league. Playoffs in 9 days so I have a bit of time to sort out my sorry bullpen. Currently I have Treinen, Holland, Viz and Melancon. Familia and Minaya on the wire.
1. Is it crazy to think Minaya might be more valuable than Holland? I can not afford many more three run homer ninth innings from Holland plus Coors.
2. Melancon is pitching well but looks like Dyson may hold the fort. He is giving me holds right now so no complaints. But he could be a drop for a closer and I could stream a holds guy come playoff time.
3. Marwin struggling and Correa due back. Hold or Williams, Markakis, Jorge Polanco, LoMo, Grandy, Gallo, Ozzie?
1. Bit crazy 2. Ok 3. Polanco
@Grey:
Thanks! So hold Holland and drop Melancon for Minaya?
Yup
@Grey:
Not crazy at all MF!
Drop which RP?
Juerys Familia
Roberto Osuna
Dellin Betances
Cory Knebel
Felipe Rivero
Raisel Iglesias
Jeurys
Is Mahle worth a look for a pickup for tomorrow’s start and possibly ROS? I’m in first and have about 14 drop adds left and want to save at least 10 for PO’s.
Thanks.
I would grab him in case he looks great
@Grey:
Will you start him today when you grab him?
Sure
AL only with OBP over AVG, net steals over steals, QS over wins, holds and total bases added. 10 team h2h.
C chirinos
1B miggy
2B segura
3B mostsuckass
SS escobar
MI goins
CI devers
OF (4) trumbo/k.davis/kiermaier/mancini (1B)
util (1) chapman
BN gomez/zimmer
DL chisenhall/correa
SP morton/graveman/snell/peacock/clevinger/quintana/duffy
RP (room for 4) belisle/rogers/giles/j.wilson (surprisingly few holds while on CUBS)
DL salazar
drop zimmer here for SP slot? or both zimmer/chisenhall for 2 SP slots?
@flowers misses his old glasses… he’ll be ok tho: obv the SP in FA are crap, but i’m now down to 6 total SP (8 optimal for K’s) in a h2h league. FA SP “options” being:
biagini
n.martinez (good god ross how F’ing bad you gotta be for this guy to take your spot)
gallardo (SON likes the next one)
j.garcia
fatolo
gibson
nolasco
scribner
looks like biagini/nolasco are the SP here, or grab the the first two up, whichever sucks most drop for streaming and go to scribner for his start (SON likes that one)
Drop Zimmer
I have Lester and Kershaw coming off the DL (hopefully) soon.
Who would you drop for them out of following:
Britton, Chapman, Gausman, Ryu, Godley
I have 5 closers right now including the 2 above (also own Vizcaino, Doolittle, Herrera)
Thanks!
Gausman, Aroldis
@Grey: Thank you Grey!
No problem
Hey Grey…have one last start tomorrow to try and get the playoff win. Was hoping Scherzer would get the start but he will not.
Guys left on ww are young or tough matchups – please choose 1:
Mahle: called up v. Pit. Might be great, might not.
Fedde: called up v. NYM. See above. Good news is I can choose to start or not start night game depending on if I’m ahead. -$3 SON
Folty v. COL: $.50 SON
Stratton @ ARI: -$21 SON
C. Richard @ MIA: -$17 SON
Miley @ BOS: -$17 SON
Albers @ NYY: -$11 SON
Mahler or Folty
10 team Yahoo H2H 7×7
W, L, SV, K, ERA, WHIP, QS
Yo Grey it’s been awhile but could use your advice as I try to reclaim the top seed and win my matchup this week. Pitching-wise I lead W’s and QS’s by 1 but I’m losing in Losses by 1 as well. Also got a slight lead in ERA & WHIP at 3.19-3.72 & 1.02-1.20 respectively but over 62 IP compared to my opponent’s 46 IP…
I’ve got the following start options today but in this order:
2:15pm – Lynn vs. TB (-3.4)
3:37pm – Morton @LAA (0.7)
4:10pm – Corbin vs. SF (9.1)
While my opponent has these two guys starting at 1pm:
Carrasco vs. KC (14.7)
J Gray @ATL (-1.6)
I’ll be at work at all day so I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to check how my opponents doing before Morton and Corbin are set to start… so are all three of my SP worth starting? How you would play this?
I’d start all three unless Carrasco and Gray are getting hit around…. If they’re getting hit, I’d sit on my lead… If you can’t check your teams, bench the first two and start Corbin
Choose one to start today in UTIL slot.
Beckham @BOS Fister
Healy vs TEX Griffin
Beckham
Holland might get a break to work on slider-who would you handcuff him with?
Thanks
Neshek, but could be McGee
oh good god broxton/lamb/dave peralta/odor, just get on base more than molina/pham/c.taylor. i’m tied in OBP and winning total bases by 2. souza just K’d with 2 of the pitches being non-strike high balls.
@jason batteiger: and of course my best chance at getting a hit (peralta) gets ejected.
Ha
@Grey: they’re now at
0-13, no BB’s, 8 K’s. if taylor ends up with not hits nor BB’s i seriously would’ve won OBP with just ONE DAMN TIME ON BASE! lamb/peralta shouldn’t get any more at bats. or even if we remove ONE of the singles from pham/molina out of their 9 PA’s i’d win that way too.
@jason batteiger: oooo, matt cain might be to the rescue and lamb might get another at bat.
@jason batteiger: HAHAHAHAHAH, now winning (tied while winning) by HIT BY PITCH OF CAIN to lamb! it’s all down to taylor now, unless knebel coughs it up and more at bats from keon and taylor get more at bats. this will be less funny if lamb is hurt here though.
@jason batteiger: SHIT, odor has another at bat, so i think i’ll lose by him no matter what taylor does.
@jason batteiger: yep these 4 bums go 0-15, no BB’s one hit by pitch, 9 K’s. and i lose by less than 1 pt, as every time we were tied i had the edge. thing is i’m still beating the opp, but i only lost runs by 2, hits by 5, steals are tied, will win bases by 2. even a halfway decent performance from those 4 i win all that stuff.
Damn, that sucks
Damn
Haha
Holy crap
Hey Grey,
How’s it going? We’re hitting the stretch.
Which two do you like for saves in weeks 23/24?
Minaya, familia and mcgee
Thanks !
McGee, Minaya
Carlos Martinez… overrated or WAY overrated?
He’s a top 15 SP
Hope you had a great weekend grey…do you like Weaver on a double start @MIL @SF?
@ROTO OVERLORD: give me your top 3 best double starts for this upcoming week potential FA;s to stream
yo yo Grey sup!
In first place in my league heading down the stretch. Had an unbelievably great weekend which propelled me up there.
Keon sucks again tho, drop for Kiermaier? I assume hell yes if I can get him ($3 left out of 100).
Starting Chacin tonight at home vs SF. Have a bad feeling about it tho.
Finished S1 Line of Duty. Sweet ending. Are the other seasons as good? Does Arnott stay around as well as the cutie with the shocking blue eyes? One thing bothered be about S1. Gates is supposed to be cash strapped and needed 9k euros to pay his kids school. But he drives a fucking Jaguar which is probably like a jillion pounds or euros or wtfever. A nice one too. I hate little things like that. And GoT knight’s watch bad guy looks crazy in this shit man see his hair?!?! How is that an acceptable hair style?
@peacecoast: ignore this will post it today