The Houston Astros top first base prospect, future MLB All-Star slash hall of famer and savior of my fantasy team, A.J. Reed, has finally been called up after several weeks of waiting. The 23-year old phenom was currently slashing a very modest .266/.345/.509 with 11 homers and 36 RBI in 59 games with AAA Fresno. Certainly nothing to sneeze at, but it’s the fact that A.J. has hit safely in his past 8 games batting .372 with 14 hits, 3 homers, 3 doubles and 7 RBI in that stretch that makes me say, “aww yissss, thatswhatimtalkinabout!” You need more? What if I told you that A.J. Reed was one of the best hitters in the minors last year hitting .340/.432/.612 with 34 homers and 127 RBI between AA and AAA (135 games). Oh boy, now that is some POWER! All caps! Yessir, A.J.’s got a molly whopping home run stick and then some. Primed to hit the ding dongs! The one caveat, which is a French word for bad stuffs, is that A.J. has struggled mightily against lefties batting just .222 against them. This appears to be Houston’s primary reason for delaying his call-up, and as a result I wouldn’t be surprised to see Reed sit versus lefties in the early going. Regardlesss, irregahdless, irrecaveats, let’s recap: A.J. Reed is finally here, he should get the majority of the playing time at first base, he has immense power upside and you should add him everywhere he’s available. He’s going to save my fantasy team and trust me I wouldn’t have quoted Top Gun if I wasn’t completely serious. This kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!
Here’s what else happened Friday night in fantasy baseball:
Willson Contreras – 2-for-4, HR (3), 3 RBI. Where there’s a Willson, there’s a way, son! Oh snap, I just sonned you. Willy is hitting .412 with 3 homers since his call up, and is playing some first base and outfield as well as catching. With the injuries to Ben Zobrist, Dexter Fowler and Rizzo hurting real bad, Contreras projects see plenty of playing time. He is also sonning beisbols like I just sonned you earlier. Grey told you to BUY and you need to grab this guy before he’s owned everywhere by the end of the weekend.
Justin Bour – 1-for-3, Grand Slam HR (13). Grey told you to BUY and he’s batting .462 with 3 homers and 8 RBI in the past week. Who needs Giancarlo Stanton, right? I do. I really, really, really do need you Giancarlo. Please be better.
Colby Rasmus – 4-for-5, 3 runs, HR (10), 2 RBI. Not even a short schedule day! We call that a Colby-jack. Tastes great on a burger! Rasmus is batting over .500 over the past week and is available in about 60% of leagues. I don’t like him either, but I’m just saying.
Edinson Volquez – 1.0 IP, 8 hits, 11 ER, 3 BB. Oh lawd. That was just not good at all. If you started him, my condolences to your ERA and WHIP. In my hometown, which I will not mention here because you will all judge me, there is a seedy hotel called the Edinson Hotel. That’s what I always think of when I think of Volquez, and it’s because of this I’ve never owned him. Thanks sketchy pay-by-the-hour motel!
George Springer – 3-for-5, Grand Slam HR (16), 5 RBI. It’s going out. I’m yelling Springeeeeer! You better move, you better dance. He might strike out, you won’t remembeeeer! It’s those home runs, you won’t forget! Woooah! [Cue Pitbull and Keisha].
Alcides Escobar – 2-for-4, HR (1). He’s batting .409 in the past week and can steal bases. He won’t hit many more dingers, but if you need a speedy infielder Escobar might be worth a look before he goes ice cold again.
Whit Merrifield – 2-for-4. He’s batting .339 with 10 runs, 2 homers and a steal in the past two weeks. He’s also got a rapist’s whit! What more reason do you need to pick him up! Oh hey, he’s a BUY! Well, there you go.
Zach Davies – 5.0 IP, 7 hits, 3 ER, BB, 9 K. Zach has been rocking a 1.86 ERA, 0.83 WHIP, 4 wins, and a 40/6 K/BB rate over the past month. He also hasn’t taken a loss since April 29. The most logical move here would be to pick him up. But sometimes humans are illogical. My robot friend, Johnny Six, taught me that.
Carlos Rodon – 5.2 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. I hate how much I love you. Those Ks doe! You’re like Lebron. I want to hate you, but you’re just too good. OK, well you’re not as good as Lebron. Not even close to be fair. All you do is strikouts…on second thought, it was a terrible analogy. You are nothing like Lebron. But how about those Cavs!?
Melky Cabrera – 3-for-4, HR (8). He’s batting .370 with 3 homers and 7 RBI in the past week. You know it’s gotta be that secret stuff he’s been drinking. Don’t worry you can legally buy it on Cabrera’s very official looking web page. The site may or may not give you malware, but the secret stuff is there.
Kevin Pillar – 2-for-4, 2 RBI. I’m not Mr. Manager, but why doesn’t this guy lead off?
Devon Travis – 2-for-4. Grey told you to BUY. He’s Devon that I want! Oooh ooo ooooo! Hitting .365 with 2 homers and 10 RBI over the past two weeks. He’s automatic, systematic, hydromatic! Owwww, he’s greased lightning!
James Loney – 2-for-3, 3 runs, HR (2), 3 RBI. I feel, in real life and fantasy, if James Loney is your first baseman you’ve given up. Loney is batting .540 with a homer over the past week though, so maybe it’s time you gave up on life. I have and look at me. Please don’t look at me, I’m very self-conscious.
Adonis Garcia– 1-for-4, 2 RBI. He’s hitting .375 with 7 runs, 3 homers and 8 RBI over the past week. Grey was reluctant to tell you to buy, but me? I have no shame or self-respect, so go for it!
Mookie Betts – 2-for-5, HR (16), 2 RBI, SB (12). Mookie hit a game-tying homer with two outs in the ninth. He also stole a base! The slam & legs! In Bawston, they have their slam & legs with an Iced Regulah from Dunkies. Extra extra. Mookie is so extra right now.
Shin Soo Choo – 2-for-4, HR (3). Choo on that!
Wil Myers – 3-for-5, HR (17), 5 RBI. I feel like Wil “I Passed the Other L to the Playa on My Left” Myers is not getting the recognition he deserves this season. Doode is crushin’ it in all categories. He also owns me in Overwatch. I am going to try and trade for Myers before his owners realize what they have. A top 10 fantasy stud. Wil the thril is OP AF.
Melvin Upton, Jr. – 3-for-5, 2 HR (11). All of Melvin’s success can be attributed to his desire to make his brother look bad. It’s working, keep it up!
Cameron Maybin – 3-for-4, 2 RBI. I am never one to toot my own horn, but those who don’t will end up with a horn that goes untooted. Which is a waste of a perfectly good horn. I told you to BUY Maybin a few weeks ago. Way to go me! I hope you listened. OK, enough tooting I swears, next week I’m back to being self deprecating.
Yasiel Puig – 2-for-4, HR (6). Remember when I drafted you with my first pick last year? Well, I remember and I still don’t like you very much.
Corey Seager – 4-for-5, run, RBI. Xander would have hit a home run…oh wait, no he wouldn’t have! Carry on!
Jameson Taillon – 4.0 IP, 8 hits, 4 ER, BB, 2 K. Probably the worst thing Taillon could have done for fantasy owners is pitch that 8 inning gem two weeks ago. We’ll be chasing another start like that all year, and it may never come. Ohh, what a life!
Manny Machado – 2-for-4, HR (18). Slashing .320/.382/.615 with 43 RBI. No steals though! Lol pleb! Sigh, I can neg all I want, it won’t put Manny on my team. Why don’t I own you anywhere? Seriously what drugs was I on? Am I still on them? I am? Oh word, that’s chill.
Archie Bradley – 5.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, 4 BB, 5 K. First of all, if you started him at Coors and were expecting anything better than this, you got your head in the clouds you day-dreamer you! Secondly, umm, wait– is it just me or does that cloud look like Big Papi. Ha! How magical…what were we talking about? Oh! Picking up Archie for his start versus Philly next week. Yes please.
Tyler Anderson – 5.2 IP, 8 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Geez, these Rockies pitchers are tough to gauge. The 8 Ks definitely raises my eyebrow, jabroni, and it’s not because I’m wearing my Brahma bull t-shirt. Not ready to commit just yet, but I likes what I sees so far!
Carlos Estevez – 1.0 IP, 3 hit, 2 ER, BS. He was a BUY because he is a closer. This was his first blown save since taking over at closer so do not fret. I was all like, “EMILIOOOO!” And if you understand that reference, we should be friends.
Michael Bourn – 2-for-5, run, RBI, 2 SB (5). I don’t understand the no-love for Bourn. It’s because he’s not Matt Damon isn’t it? But really, who is? Did you see Affleck drop 20+ f-bombs on Bill Simmons’ show? Not the way to help your public image, Batman. You have daughters! “Tawm Brady is a fawkin saint! No one denies this!” Battfleck aside, Bourn is a strictly SAGNOF play, pick him up if you hate yourself.
Yasmany Tomas – 3-for-5, 2 HR (12), 4 RBI, SB (2). Believe it or not, this was his first homer with more than 2 men on base in, well, in ever. I don’t know how I feel about that. I will call you, The UnClutch.
Albert Pujols – 1-for-5, HR (13). Unless you’re in like a six team league or smaller, no, you shouldn’t drop Pujols. Please stop asking. I love Alby. At least just stop asking me.
Khris Davis – 2-for-4, HR (18). Kish Davish! THE POWER OF KHRIS COMPELS ME! THE POWER OF KHRIS COMPELS ME!
Ryan Madson – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 2 K, SV (14). I guess he’s the closer again? Or is it Doolittle? Y U Mad, son? Oh snip, did I just son you again! Twice in one post, that’s gotta be some kind of record!
Aroldis Chapman – 1.0 IP, 3 K, SV (14). Struck out the side with 11 pitches. We call that a Kimbrel. Except Chapman’s fastballs range from 101-103 mphs. Three times flame emoji. That is some stinky, stinky cheese. Would bang.
Jake Peavy – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, W. I’m a company man obviously, so I have to point out that our very own Blanston told you to start Peavy in daily fantasy leagues. Good call, Blanston! I like your style. I also love the name Blanston, be tee dubs. OK, you can drop Peavy now.
Brandon Belt – 2-for-4, run, 3 RBI. Last week I had Belt’s stat line in the blog but ended up removing it at the last minute due to him being boring. This week I almost did the same thing again! But instead, I just decided to tell you about how I almost removed Belt because he bores me. Congratulations on making the cut this week, Brandon!
Jose Reyes – Sources say he is a lock to reunite with the Mets. Oh geez! I wonder if he’ll start his first game on the DL. Zing! Hmm. There is a really great Derrick Rose joke here, I’m just not sure I’m the one to tell it.
Wade LeBlanc – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, BB, 3 K. Wade le’blanked the Cardinals for six innings. That’s how they say shut out in France. Speaking of France, how about that brexit, you guys. Time to go to foggy London town or nah? Obviously, my biggest concern is how will this effect Game of Thrones and my ability to see dragons and Jon Snuh kill things with fire and swords.
Trevor Rosenthal – 0.0 IP, 2 hits, 3 ER, BB, BS (3). Yeah sure, three blown saves doesn’t look so bad, but that 1.92 WHIP? Yikes. My sources say, and I’m a Scientologist so you know my sources are very trustworthy in the we’ll-blackmail-you-if-you-don’t-do-what-we-want kind of way, that patience is running thin with Rosenthal and Kevin Siegrist could see save chances. Grey told you to BUY Siegrist. Do with this information what you like, but either way you now owe me and the church $1000.
Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
