Cameron Maybin was 3-for-4 Friday night with his fourth stolen base in four games. Did someone say SAGNOF? Since his return from the disabled list last Monday, Killa Cam has hit safely in all four games he’s played, going 8-for-13 (.615 AVG), with 3 runs, an RBI, and oh, did I mention he’s stolen four bases?! Because that’s why I’m writing this lede about Cameron Maybin and not some obviously more valuable and less disappointment-prone player. I googled my headline thinking it was a song title by the Cure or something but all that came up was a sub reddit about depression. What’s worse is I had visited this page before. Hmm, probably because I’ve owned Maybin so many times in the past. Cameron has burned me more over the years than the cast of That 70’s Show, but four steals in four games should not be ignored. Grey told you to BUY and he said “That’s so, Maybin!” Wow, that’s so Grey to say that. Temper your expectation, but pick up Maybin if you got the Need for Speed but refuse to support EA games or Aaron Paul’s acting career. So yeah, Maybin this time will be different? This could be my crippling depression talking, but he’s available in about 80% of leagues and I’d take a flier wherever I needed steals.
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:
Jason Heyward – Left Friday’s game with a shoulder injury. I would say this would hurt his power production, but his owner’s probably aren’t in the mood for hilarious jokes right now.
Jake Arrieta – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, ER, 2 BB, 8 K, W. He is good at throwing baseballs.
Tanner Roark – 6.2 IP, 6 hits, ER, 2 BB, 7 K, W. Roark. Roaaark. Rooooooaark! Ohhhh! He’s got the eye of the tiger…! If you asked Katy Perry, she’d tell you outside last week’s 7 ER disaster, Roark has been a real firework and still owns a 2.89 ERA and 53/22 K/BB rate. Wow, Katy, you sure know a lot about Tanner Roark!
Derek Dietrich – 2-for-2. Double D leads off for the Fish, and Grey told you to BUY him but cautioned that he’s a pretty boring grab. He’s more boring than the scenes in Game of Thrones without bewbz or dragons. But if you need runs and average by all means pick him up before Ramsay Bolton flays him alive.
Marcell Ozuna – 1-for-4, HR (8). Oh hey, Marcell. Remember when people asked me if they should drop you in April? “OZUNA no remember. OZUNA only job to hit baseball.” Great answer!
Steven Matz – 7.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 8 K, W. Mr. Matz! Have I mentioned I will accept any Mets starter in a trade with my [insert home team here]. We’ll give you washed-up veteran who can’t play defense, rookie outfielder who can’t hit breaking balls and player to be named later.
Michael Conforto – 2-for-4, HR (7), 2 RBI. Conforto has struggled this month, batting just .180, but that hasn’t deterred fans of the hipster’s favorite player–hipsters. In fact, that only makes him cooler because when he does finally bust out of this slump that means they liked him before he was cool. And there’s nothing cooler than that!
Chris Carter – 1-for-3, HR (13), 2 RBI. I heard this week on my X-Files blog news feed they are bringing this show back again for even more episodes that no one really asked for. Also, hey, Chris Carter has 13 homers. Nice segue, Dan! That’s why you’re the blog writer guy!
Miguel Cabrera – 3-for-5, 2 HR (8), 3 RBI. Miggy is batting .458 with 7 runs, 4 homers, and 8 RBI in the past week. When you’re slaying baseballs like Miguel, you’re “Goals AF”. That means people want to be like you. People like me.
Steven Souza, Jr. – 2-for-3, HR (9). When you hit out of the lead off spot and “have a day”, that’s when you Goals AF. Stop trying to make Goals AF happen, it’s not going to happen.
Freddie Freeman – 2-for-5, 2 HR (8), 4 RBI. The scary thing for pitchers about Freddie is that he can hit home runs off of them while they sleep, in their nightmares. Even in his dreams though he still has trouble driving in runs.
Aaron Nola – 7.0 IP, 7 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K. Nola was probably one of the best pick ups I’ve made all season. The 2.85 ERA is real pretty but its 64/11 K/BB rate and the sub-1 WHIP that really makes me swoon. And I don’t swoon for just anyone.
Matt Wisler – 6.2 IP, 5 hits, ER, 2 BB, 7 K, W. Matt might be one of the lone rays of hope for a sad sack Braves team. He’s now struck out seven in back-to-back starts and sports a shiny 2.93 ERA and 0.99 WHIP. He gets the Brewers next week at home and is under 20% owned. I’m saying maybe you should start to think about the possibility of maybe considering thinking about the option of picking him up.
Colby Lewis – 7.0 IP, 4 hits, 0 ER, 6 K, W. Wen ur veteran starter is woke. Colby has gone seven innings in five straight starts and is rocking a sick 44/12 K/BB. If that ain’t woke, I don’t know what is. Really, I don’t. Can someone explain this word to me?
Lance McCullers – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 7 K. Lance had the tough task of facing the Red Sawx last week when they were scoring all the runs in the league, but looked much better Friday night. If he is out there on waivers I would bang.
Michael Saunders – 3-for-5, HR (7). Saunders is batting over .300 with seven homers in one of baseballs best lineups. He also has two homers in the past three days, yet is still available in most leagues. I have been telling you to pick him up all year. I told you here, here, oh, and also here. I got you! O shizz waddup. Yeah, I don’t get it either.
Jose Bautista – 2-for-5, HR (8), 3 RBI. Joey is batting .229 so why not lead him off! If you can lead off half as good as you can take a punch then–ahh, nevermind. Home runs are good! Especially early, right!
Zack Cozart – 1-for-4, HR (5). He’s leading off for Cincinnati and batting .360 in the past week. Why is he still under 50% owned? It’s because he’s Red isn’t it. That’s racist.
Chris Herrmann – 2-for-4, HR (5), 3 RBI. Remember Herrmann’s head? Why not reboot a 90s show that was actually good! Get on it, Hollywood! Chris is batting .412 with a homer in the past week and has hit safely in his past five games. What is your catcher doing?
Brandon Drury – 1-for-4, HR (7). Hey, another Snake! He’s batting close to .400 over the past week! Pro Tip* That will help your fantasy team.
Patrick Corbin – 6.1 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 4 BB, 7 K, W. I proceed with caution as I say that Corbin might actually be ownable at this point. Wow, so many fantasy relevant Diamondbacks. Freaky. Scientologists like myself might compare this to Incident II involving the R6 Implants. What would you say if I told you that you could gain supernatural abilties simply by harnassing the natural M.E.S.T. around you? I have some literature I think you should read.
C.C. Sabathia – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, BB, 8 K, W. Not a bad return from the DL for the Yankee old. Pick him up if you hate yourself.
Yasiel Puig – 2-for-4, HR (5). His Grace, Lord Puig of House Cuba, First Bat of Dodgers, Famed Defector, Father of Illegitimate Children, Protector of Adrian Gonzalez and sworn Defender of the 88 cities of Greater Los Angeles county, looks like he’s finally heating up. Maybe he just needs more dragons?
Melvin Upton, Jr. – 1-for-4, HR (6), 2 RBI. Melvin is batting over .300 in the past two weeks with 4 homers and a steal. Is there a rule in the Upton family that only one brother can play well at a time? Why was I not informed of this rule!?
Jackie Bradley, Jr. – 1-for-2, HR (8). He extended his hitting streak to 25 games with the second inning homer, as hundreds of New Englanders named their dogs/cats/children “Jackie Bradley” this month. The Messiah is slashing .340/.399/.626 with 8 homers and 33 RBI. I don’t think I’m overstepping any bounds when I say he could very well be Teddy Williams reincarnate. He hits wicked hahd. He fields wicked hahd. He’s gunna be the best freakin’ outfieldah evah in Bawston sports history and the world because Tawm Brady, Larry Legend, Nomah, Sam Adams, Matt Damon, Batman, chowdah and Dunkin’ Iced Regulahs! No one denies this!
Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!