The King Of Gamelot Swinging A Mighty Sword

The dreidel in Pittsburgh stopped on Gamel yesterday. Ben Gamel went 3-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 6th homer, and his third and fourth homer in his last five games, and there’s no way you’re ever picking up Ben Gamel. Don’t even lie. There’s nothing I could say–Actually, that would make for a good game show. “Which fantasy baseball ‘pert can convince the most people to pick up Ben Gamel?” Then you line up a bunch of balding guys in a mother’s basement, and test their power of persuasion. Can we get Ben Stein to host? Call it Win Ben’s Gamels. Any hoo! Yes, Ben Gamel is about the hottest bat in the majors, but you’re never grabbing him, so let’s do this! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

PSYCHE! Before we get into today’s roundup, just wanted to announce I’ve released the top 100 for the 2nd half already on our Patreon. If you so desire, click it to put duckets in Grey’s pockets! They said they’d pay me in Dogecoin, that’s good, right? Anyway II, the roundup:

Ke’Bryan Hayes – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, which was an absolute bomb to the opposite field. Such a big homer that it’s kinda surprising that he seems to have 15-homer power. Gonna be a guy who I’m expecting to take a big step forward at some point. I hear you snickering about how I expected the same from Alec Bohm. He homered last night, jerko! Okay, fine, it was off Eric Sogard.

Max Fried – 5 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.66, and this start came vs. the Pirates. This Max is on tilt. Told you not to draft Fried; said I wouldn’t roster him, and you have him on your team, but now you want advice? Mm-hmm.

Max Kepler – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer, and 2nd and 3rd homer in two games. Kepler’s back! From one tilting Max to one rising PhoeMax. Hmm, that sounds like FloMax, so if you’re grabbing him, urine luck! Now we can give a hot schmotato to the Max!

Bailey Ober – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.85. Relieving Ober was Kari Wuhrer. Rawr!

Dylan Cease – 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.14. “Hello, is this the copyright attorney I saw advertising on the park bench off the 101? Great, it said no claim was too small, right? Terrific, I need help with a Cease and desist.”

Yasmani Grandal – Left the game with a strained left calf. What a waste of everyone’s time, why even make something decalfeinated? Grandal seems clearly headed to the IL.

Wily Peralta – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.14. I know about fifteen thousand baseball players. I don’t say this to brag or to say what a giant waste of nonsense is in my head, but to say I honestly thought Wily Peralta retired years ago. Whoa, wait a minute, Erasmo Ramirez relieved Wily Peralta? Have I fallen into a wormhole back to 2015?

Joey Gallo – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 21st homer, and 57th homer in the last two weeks. “You have to carry all this now.” Kyle Schwarber motions Gallo to all fantasy baseballers’ hopes and dreams.

Jose Suarez – 3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 2.37. Our resident Angels loverboi, Coolwhip, passed along this info from watching the game, “Didn’t have command and looked like his rhythm was off, different than when he came from pen. Guessing nerves got to him facing Sawx. Suggestion is pass on him until he finds himself and gets stretched out more, likely a streamer if he gets there.” And that’s me quoting Coolwhip!

Christian Arroyo – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer, as he was activated from the IL and optioned Chavis to Worcester. That means Chavis is a new Worcester hire. Better than any steak sauce, I’m told. Any hoo! Arroyo was hot before hitting the IL, so might be on it again.

Sammy Long – Hit the IL with “phantom end of the 1st half injury that will magically clear up when they need a 5th starter in the 2nd half.”

Kevin Gausman – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 1.74. Podcaster Geoff and I talk about Gausman on this week’s show, which should be out today. It essentially goes like this, “He has a pitch (splitter) that he throws 40% of the time and it has around a .100 batting average against, so, yeah, no one can mount anything against that.”

Kwang-Hyun Kim – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.39. Kim’s solid, yet dealing a 7 K/9, 3 BB/9, so also kinda whatever. Can a guy be solid and whatever? Yes, I just said so. Streamonator might like future starts though, and I’m not opposed.

Jack Flaherty – Threw a 15-pitch bullpen session. Fingers crossed the Cards don’t opt to bring him back as a reliever. You think I’m joking, but look at Alex Reyes and Carlos Martinez in previous years.

Sixto Sanchez – Undergoing season-sending surgery on his shoulder. Welp, we knew this was coming since around March. Okay, Sixto, you have five lives left, make them worthwhile.

Trevor Rogers – 5 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.22 vs. Walker Buehler – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.49. When you see my top 100 for the 2nd half, this will become more obvious, but it’s not exactly ideal that a solid ten of the top 20 starters are prolly looking at reduced innings in the 2nd half.

Didi Gregorius – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 6th homer, hitting .234, and his 2nd homer in the last three games. Been all but a lost season for him so far, but he could get hot, if he’s not already. Didi, Didi, Didi, can’t you see, your home runs hypnotize me, so I can’t tell if you’re hot or not.

Odubel Herrera – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer. With the home runs by ODB and Gregorius D.I.D., Elias Sports Bureau said it was the first time two Source Awards winners homered in the same game.

Alec Bohm – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. Alec Bohm just needs to face only position players LFG!

Javier Baez – 2-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 19th homer. Baez is gonna get 37 homers with a .245 average and I’m gonna do a big ol’ shrug.

Vladimir Gutierrez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.67. Streamonator didn’t like his 2nd start this week, so I benched him in a weekly league and now I will actively be rooting against my guy. Good times!

Nick Castellanos – 1-for-4 and his 17th homer, hitting .338. The Greek God of Hard Contact is also the King of Terrible Timing.

“Hey, come in and sit down. Your tests have come back, and, well, it’s not great news, but first…Nick Castellanos hits it deep into left field” https://t.co/oA7Hot4jTy

— Razzball (@Razzball) July 6, 2021

Eugenio Suarez – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 17th homer, hitting .178. The ball supposedly travelled 431 feet, but I think they might’ve meant miles.

Trea Turner – 2-for-4 and his 15th homer, as he returns and picks up right where he left off. Ya know, Treat Urner’s home runs are making it hard for Juan Soto to get the GIDP record.

Josh Bell – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer. Kinda like how everyone on the Nats is making Soto appear even worse. Makes me feel real good.

Joe Musgrove – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 2.97. Damn, he’s been in a huge slide since the wacky tacky cracky-down. Right now, I have Musgrove in my top 100 for the 2nd half, but I might have to rethink it.

Fernando Tatis Jr. – 1-for-4 and his 27th homer. FTJ! Fun the Jewels fast, but Fun the Jewels also strong.

Zach Plesac – Will start on Thursday vs. the Royals. Assuming no one starts playing Hulk Hogan’s entrance music.

Franmil Reyes – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs and a slam (12) and legs (2). The Cleveland bench pointed towards the Tropicana ceiling and screamed, “Pterodactyl!” to distract the Rays, so Franmil could steal a bag. Hey, anything’s possible in The Trop.

Rich Hill – 3 2/3 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 3.65. Dick Mountain has become merely a puss pocket on a speed bump.

Brandon Lowe – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 17th homer, hitting .205. Truly shocked Lowe has move so, uh, low in the order. Didn’t think Cash would ever push him down. It only took more than half a season of hitting barely .200 to get Lowe to the eight hole.

Yandy Diaz – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 4th homer. Yandy’s Launch Angle can be described as “trying to kill ant hills” and he’s only one home run behind Yelich.

Tylor Megill – 5 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.77, as he outpitched Brandon Woodruff – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.10. Fantasy Baseball, can’t live with it, can’t sue it for causing you an ulcer. Megill’s command is scary, and this start was vs. the Brewers, a team so bad their catcher, Omar Narvaez (1-for-2, 8th homer, hitting .303) is the only bat they have that might hit above .275 this year.

Lorenzo Cain – Will begin a rehab assignment this week in Nashville. Him and someone likely related to Merle Haggard.