Gilbert Got Freed By M’s To Roast The Yankees

July 9, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 206 Comments

Sometimes, on almost-every-occasion, a rookie pitcher isn’t great when he is first promoted. Then, almost by the magic of the silent one from Penn & Teller, the rookie pitcher gets better. It’s called, bear with me here, not shizzing a brick like during your first start. Also, a pitcher may shizz a brick from the moment he’s called up for a few years. Or just not be dialed in. Or just be off. There’s a reason why scouts and their ilk liked — ilk liked? What’s this, Dr Seuss? — Logan Gilbert so much before he did a brown brick on the mound for a month-plus. At any point a rookie pitcher can figure it out, and, yesterday might’ve been that day. Gilbert went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.51, ending his start by retiring 18-straight Yankees. That sure has the makings of an ace, even if those Yankees look like your great uncle’s Yankees, when he used to tell you things like, “Don’t count out that Roy Smalley. He makes things happen with his bat!” Gilbert’s slider was getting a 58% whiff rate, up from 32% and he was touching 99 MPH on his 4-seamer, with a higher spin rate than his yearly average. If Gilbert was abandoned early on in your league, I could see getting back in on him. Yesterday, might be the start of Logan’s run, until at least age 30. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Groundhog Day Again For Pitchers Courtesy of Walsh-Ohtani Fill

July 8, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 318 Comments

by: Grey

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Shohei Ohtani (2-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 32nd homer, passing Hideki Matsui as the top Japanese-born home run hitter in a season, and it’s not even the All-Star Break! Such a cheat code, and I’m such a giant dummy to not have him on any team. Boy, I Mr. Bungled this one so bad it’s hard for me to see through my tears of anguish. The absolute ball dropping I did by not grabbing him. Or Jared Walsh (2-for-4, 3 RBIs) who hit his 21st and 22nd homer! I wrote a gee-dee sleeper post for him! Yet, all my fantasy teams are like a milk carton with that missing Walsh kid. This is brutally difficult for me. I should’ve known better for Ohtani, and I did know better for Walsh! Someone shoot me into the sky, where I can do something for humanity by flipping off Bezos’s orbiting rocket ship, and away from the misery of watching Ohtani and Walsh carry fantasy teams to the proverbial promised land. I was promised that land! I have my deed right here…*searches pockets for deed, pull back to reveal I’m wearing pants with millions of pockets* This is my nightmare! We’re in it! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It Must Be $1 Beer Night Because Brujan The Rays Tonight

July 7, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 325 Comments

by: Grey

It’s Vidal Brujan SZN! BruSZN?! Tell me oh great Fantasy Baseball Overlord, it is not a dream I have awoken from–“Shut up and grab Vidal Brujan.” That’s the Fantasy Baseball Overlord speaking only to me. Sorry, you ain’t got the cred! The Rays’ beat writers said with Manuel Margot hitting the IL with a hamstring injury, which is truly too bad–DID SOMEONE SAY VIDAL BRUJAN?!–The beat writers also said Brujan wouldn’t just be up for a doubleheader on Wednesday. He would remain with the Rays. So, I grabbed him in one league, and tried in all my leagues, including a 12-team mixed league. Here’s my Vidal Brujan fantasy. Bit old, still applies, which is different than my least favorite fruit, that’s “still apples.” The big takeaway from my fantasy take on Brujan is what Prospect Itch said about him, “It’s rare enough for a 40-steal player to enter our game. Even rarer to find one who hits enough to earn himself regular playing time. Rarer still to find one who speaks five languages. I mention this last piece because language learning requires the same determination needed for the grind of baseball. You’re going to make mistakes. Might look like an idiot. Might often feel dumb. But you have to keep putting yourself out there. And as long as you stay positive and focus on the long term, you can improve a little bit every day. In 2014, Tampa signed Brujan out of the Dominican Republic for $15,000. He was illiterate at the time. Now: five languages. Grey can’t speak one.” Tough but fair, tee bee aitch. Go and grab him! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The King Of Gamelot Swinging A Mighty Sword

July 6, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 288 Comments

by: Grey

The dreidel in Pittsburgh stopped on Gamel yesterday. Ben Gamel went 3-for-5, 6 RBIs and his 6th homer, and his third and fourth homer in his last five games, and there’s no way you’re ever picking up Ben Gamel. Don’t even lie. There’s nothing I could say–Actually, that would make for a good game show. “Which fantasy baseball ‘pert can convince the most people to pick up Ben Gamel?” Then you line up a bunch of balding guys in a mother’s basement, and test their power of persuasion. Can we get Ben Stein to host? Call it Win Ben’s Gamels. Any hoo! Yes, Ben Gamel is about the hottest bat in the majors, but you’re never grabbing him, so let’s do this! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This American Flag T-Shirt Says Maeda In America

July 5, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 269 Comments

by: Grey

One scene sticks with me that truly captures America’s independence. It’s Big Willy Pullman standing on the back of a flatbed truck, twirling a bra in the air and yelling, “Today is your last chance for independence.” It was a bachelorette party at a wine tasting class in Irvine, California, and Big Willy Pullman was a male stripper wearing a Bill Pullman mask. Then, due to copyright infringements, Big Willy and the vineyard were both sued with the women being called as witnesses. That courtroom saga really captures our great land. God Bless America! Seriously, though, think about this? The Brits thought they could control America? For our Independence Day, we celebrate someone shoving 75 hot dogs into his mouth. You can control this? Get the eff out of here! So, this weekend 225 years after George Washington gave birth to this great nation after 14 hours of labor, Kenta Maeda went 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 5.03. His spin rate was down in prior starts, but looked better, and his velocity was up on his 4-seamer. Previously, he was dusty at 89 MPH with a 2220 RPMs, and, yesterday, lively at 91 MPH and 2279. Lots of noise when looking at just one start, but clearly this was Maeda’s best start of the year, and there’s a chance for better days like the Goo Goo Dolls. Now, put away that M80, you’re gonna need your fingers to make fantasy moves. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Only The Good Buy Jung

July 2, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 353 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

Back in the preseason, we were all clamoring for Josh Jung, which resulted in us taking a Briggs-Myers personality test, originally proposed by Jung.

The test began: 1) Can you remember how you felt about Josh Jung in March? A) Excited B) Stressed C) There’s no C. D) Extrovert.

If you answered A, you know Josh Jung is set to debut this year, and even the Rangers can’t ruin this prospect. He has big-time power, and a hit tool to match. The Rangers have no one to play third, and are currently rocking Swiss Army knife Brock Holt, and some combination of Andy Ibanez and Charlie Culberson, all names that only sound made-up. If you answered B, you were thinking of Josh Jung’s foot, which was diagnosed with a stress fracture on March 20th, curtailing his chances to break camp. Luckily, Jung is back, healed, and hitting home runs in the minors again. If you answered C, you were dropped on your head as a baby. If you answered D, then you’re telling all your friends about how you grabbed Josh Jung in your fantasy leagues, and those friends are secretly talking about you behind your back. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pitchers Can’t Hang With Joey And His Gallo’s Homer

July 2, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 218 Comments

by: Grey

Kyle Schwarber sat down for a long cross-country trip with his favorite, a can of Virgin Bloody Mary mix. Seated next to him was a tall, mustachioed man. Soon after takeoff, Schwarber dozed off and when he woke, he felt groggy, but that was to be expected, right? Seated next to him, that tall, mustachioed man drank from a Virgin Bloody Mary mix, wiping the red from his bristles. Well, what Kyle Schwarber didn’t know was Joey Gallo was that tall man with a fake mustache, and, as soon as Schwarber dozed off, Joey Gallo began to transfer all of Schwarber’s home run-hitting blood into his can of Virgin Bloody Mary mix. Later, Joey drank it all up, and burped all the names of the 500 Home Run Club. So, Joey Gallo (3-for-3, 2 runs, hitting .239) hit his 20th homer, has seven homers in the last five games, and, since Rob Manfraud took away the wacky tacky, Gallo’s slashing .375/.500/1.125/1.625, but we know why, don’t we? (Prolly just so Gallo gets traded the hell off the Rangers.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Learn From Trea Turner And Re-Cycle

July 1, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 318 Comments

by: Grey

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No player in MLB history has more cycles than Trea Turner. That’s wild. What’s also wild, it was his birthday yesterday. I got a cycle for my birthday one year. It was a pink Hutch Trickstar and I was able to do one trick, falling over. They used to call me The Pink Trickstar. And beat me up. This Treat Urner game brought up a lot of hurtful memories. My mom always wanted a girl, is that why she got me that stupid pink bike? Which is what I write down in my journal, so I can ask my shrink at a later date. Not only did Treat Urner (4-for-4, 4 runs) hit his 14th homer, he also added in his 17th and 18th steal. He accumulated more fantasy value in one game than Juan Soto has all year. I wanna be run over by a pink bicycle. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pirates Don’t Enjoy Their Frutti Di Marquez Plate

June 30, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 323 Comments

by: Grey

“Guten tag, mi amigos. Um, I mean, hola. I am mucho from a Spanish-language country and not at all on the run from the German authorities.” That was the Nazi in Exile as a youth, taking the very conspicuous name German Marquez. Yesterday, was a big-time “Hola, meine frau” as German Marquez took a no-hitter into the 9th inning in Coors, and ended up with 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.62 in 92 pitches, as he racked up his 11th Quality Start. My Jewish ancestors would never forgive me, but I want to help the Nazi in Exile, and in the process my better Angels. Well, not my better Angels, just the Angels. Someone disguise their voice, call up the Angels and tell them the Rockies will deal German Marquez for anything, because the Rockies are a very stupid organization. You can tell the Rockies they’re getting a guy named Ham Silliard and just read them Sam Hilliard’s Triple-A stats to them and they’ll go for it. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Red Sox Love & Royals Hate The Night of the Hunter Renfroe

June 29, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 301 Comments

by: Grey

“Salvation is a last-minute business, boy.” — Hunter Renfroe (2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 10th and 11th homer) looking at my fantasy team that is hurting for offense.

“Women are such durn fools.” — Enrique Hernandez (2-for-3 and his 8th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games). Hot schmotato alert!

“You know, when you’re little, you have more endurance than God is ever to grant you again. Children are man at his strongest. They abide.” — Bobby Dalbec (2-for-4, 2 runs and his 10th homer). He’s the type to get hot in a snap of the fingers, so if you need power, I could see grabbing him immediately.

“A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit. Neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.” — Alex Cora as he fits the Red Sox for buzzers. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Red Sox > Cole In Your Stocking

June 28, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 328 Comments

by: Grey

*zooms microscope in on Gerrit Cole‘s spin rates on Statcast, accidentally zooms too close and cracks computer screen* Oopsie. Yesterday, Gerrit Cole (5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 2.66) had his ass handed to him, and not in a good way, like, “Hey, he’s got extra ass now like Vladimir Guerrero Jr.” The funniest or saddest, depending on whether you’re Gerrit Cole, is him giving up all kind of homers, then having his hat and glove checked by the umps. Wish someone would’ve warned me about Gerrit Cole and spin rates being checked in, say, March. WAIT A MINUTE! Someone did! It was March Grey. Damn, March Grey, you smart son of a bee! My Gerrit Cole schmohawk post from March is basically all about the spin rates, and how they’re in danger of coming back to earth. Dot dot dot. Coming back to earth unlike all the home runs the Red Sox hit off Cole yesterday. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I Want To Buy Bobby So Bradley

June 25, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 394 Comments

by: Grey

(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)

I got a love jones for Bobby Bradley. Crush is solidifying. He has a swag about him. A swing that makes my heart pitter and/or patter for this batter. A swag/swing — a Swang. A home run every 9.3 at-bats in Triple-A, and then a home run every 9.0 at-bats in the majors will do that. Deserves to play every day. Hopefully, when Franmil returns, Bradley doesn’t take the lineup squeeze L. Fun fact! After Bobby Brady lost a pie-eating contest, his father Mike told him to take the L like a man and disowned him, so he briefly went by Bobby Bradley. Lots of people forget this. Speaking of Franmil, Bobby Bradley reminds me of that $54 Vending Machine Steak. Think many people don’t watch Cleveland, but if you have, and have seen Bradley, you’re already sold on his power. He has light-tower power, I’ll devour, I’m gonna tie you up and make you understand, Bobby Bradley is not an average man. HUUH! Bobby will knock you out! HUUH! Mama said knock you out! Seriously, I watched him hit a home run the opposite way the other day, and I was instantly sold. Bradley doesn’t strikeout a ton either. At least not so far in the majors. If you need power, I’d grab Bradley in any league. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Author: Grey

Read some of Grey's 4944 posts

Gilbert Got Freed By M’s To Roast The Yankees

Groundhog Day Again For Pitchers Courtesy of Walsh-Ohtani Fill

It Must Be $1 Beer Night Because Brujan The Rays Tonight

The King Of Gamelot Swinging A Mighty Sword

This American Flag T-Shirt Says Maeda In America

Only The Good Buy Jung

Pitchers Can’t Hang With Joey And His Gallo’s Homer

Learn From Trea Turner And Re-Cycle

Pirates Don’t Enjoy Their Frutti Di Marquez Plate

Red Sox Love & Royals Hate The Night of the Hunter Renfroe

Red Sox > Cole In Your Stocking

I Want To Buy Bobby So Bradley