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Mariners Call 545-JROD

August 18, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 153 Comments

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Julio Rodriguez is effervescent. Julio Rodriguez is a can of seltzer that is baseball-flavored. Like Home Depot, he’s got electric tools. Figured go with the dad metaphor vs. like a raver with a glow stick down their pants, he’s got electric tools. It stinks he’s behind the West Coast PST iron curtain. Everyone sees the East Coast games, and West Coast games are only usually seen by the West Coast, as most are asleep on the East Coast. Don’t even get me started with the PST bias. “Hey, are you around at 9 AM for a call?” “Sure.” Then invariably you get woken at 6 AM. “Oh, I figured you knew it was EST.” EST was a cult showcased in The Americans, and is a cult for everyone who thinks there’s only one time zone. Screw your time zones! Wow, that went far afield of Julio Rodriguez. Okay, bringing it back: He went 5-for-5 with 5 RBIs and his 20th homer. He’s hitting .269, and he was a triple short of the cycle. Speaking of short, it was a short schedule yesterday: Julio Rodriguez for 2024 fantasy? Where does he go? He won’t go as high again as this year, and that will make him a steal wherever it is. Speaking of steals, he was caught for the ninth time yesterday and picked off. Usually I ignore that, but I wonder if the Mariners might curb his enthusiasm. Either way, he’s pretttttttay, pretttttttay good. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

C’mon That’s Reidiculous

August 17, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 168 Comments

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Reid Detmers (7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 BBs, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.93) had a no-hitter finishing up the 7th inning at 104 pitches. Then, during the commercial break, he went into the dugout, with a notary public and wrote, “I, Reid Detmers, of sound mind and body, hereby bequeath my shoulder to science, so Phil Nevin will let me throw a 200-pitch no hitter, and I ask that it be called The Last Voyage of Detmers after that weird-looking vampire on a boat movie that is getting terrible reviews.” With that, the notary stamped it, and it was official forever. By the way, you ever walk into a notary and ask them to notarize something and they’re like, “This paper says you’re ruler of the U.S. and China. I can’t notarize this,” and you say, “Don’t make me go to war with your notary store.” No? Meh, guess it’s me! So, Reid Detmers either throws a gem or a dud. While he almost threw a no-no, he knows no in-between. He allowed 29 runs over his last 25 1/3 innings. Then, this. His peripherals look great, like he could be a 2024 fantasy beast, but I also don’t even know what we’re getting from him in his next start. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Seattle’s Overcast Bats Enjoy Some KC & The Sunshine Staff

August 16, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 168 Comments

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Teoscar Hernandez (5-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer) hasn’t been that bad this year, right? *checks the Player Rater* Oh, he’s like at 40th overall. That’s not bad at all! 40 what? Haha, 40 ounces, my dude, let’s get that St. Ides! You’re not being distracted by that non sequitur? Okay, 40th *covers mouth so you can’t hear* outfielder. Not bad at all! Around Mike Trout, who’s been out since 2019, and Bryan De Palma Cruz. So, maybe Teoscar hasn’t been great thus far, but he’s one of those guys who could be the best in baseball for the final six weeks. Also, in this game, Eugenio Suarez (1-for-5, 2 runs) who was the last Mariners’ player who I said could be the best player in the 2nd half, and he hasn’t been bad at all (9 HR in roughly 150 ABs). Ty France (4-for-6, 10th homer) even got in on the action, as France hit a French fly saying, “That’s as good as it baguettes!” Finally, Josh Rojas (1-for-4, 2 RBIs) hit his 1st homer. It was a called shot. He called a weak bloop to 2nd, and it went out. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Scherzer Goes Zany To The Max Against The Angels

August 15, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 254 Comments

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Angels are Charlie Brown and the every other team is Lucy pulling away the football. Another Peanuts analogy: Every Angels fan is standing at Lucy, under her sign for Psychiatric Help for five cents stating the Doctor is in, and the Angels fan is telling her how they’ve had arguably two of the best two players ever, and can’t win games. One guy, so good, he’s absurdly a top five hitter and a top ten pitcher, and still nothing. Yesterday, the Angels met reality once again, as a team that was seemingly rebuilding just last year is marching towards the AL West title, and every move they do seems to work. They went out and got a future Hall of Famer, who looked past his sell-by date in Max Scherzer (7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.67) and he’s rejuvenated looking like vintage Max again. Mean’s while, the Angels threw, Patrick Sandoval and he went 2 2/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 4.09, as he ran up to try to kick the football. Anyone got a nickel he can borrow? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Gelof A-Goes Yard Twice

August 14, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 264 Comments

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Rubbing balloons on my head to get a lot of static on them, then sticking them to my ceiling. Hiring a deejay to play Shakira songs and getting cupcakes prepared, because…? You know why! It’s time for a Star Mitzvah! Zack Gelof went 4-for-5 with two homers (7, 8). That’s in only 25 games! Could Zack Gelof be having his Star Mitzvah? He is Jewish, so there’s a case to made that he’s already had his chair lifted above his uncle’s head, while said uncle was wheezing and out of breath. *looking at Zack Gelof’s stats before writing out the check for $18 for his Star Mitzvah* Oh, hold up. Wow, his numbers are awful. Is that Z-Contact% the worst in the majors if he qualified? A 65% contact rate?! Wait, why is anyone throwing him strikes? Because they don’t know to not throw him strikes, is my guess. Plus, they’re pitching around Gelof for what reason? It’s the A’s. So, Zack Gelof looks like he has good speed and power, but he might struggle to hit .200 once things normalize. Oh, crap, and I already sent invites for Gelof’s star mitzvah. Awkward! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Go Into Medieval Fight Mode And Buy Masyn Winn

August 11, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 207 Comments

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Can you believe I’m already here talking about September callups? This year flew by. They say the older you get the quicker the years feel. For unstints, every week feels like a year for Masyn Winn at 21 years of age. For me, every year feels like a week. Last week was 2078, and we just discovered that people who like cilantro are aliens. Don’t challenge me on this, I studied the calendar in college. Sorry if you’re one of those that likes cilantro, it is an acquired taste — acquired by aliens. Call your doctor; you have green blood. So, Masyn Winn is almost guaranteed to start next year with the club, that means he will get an offseason rookie outlook post from me and the only question is: Him, Jackson Holliday or a third unknown rookie as the top fantasy rookie for next year? You’ll have to wait until October for that big reveal. You can hardly wait! No, you! For all rookies, it doesn’t hurt to call them up in September to give them a little taste. An amuse bouche of baseball! Masyn Winn is more than ready. He’s about to be a 20/20 guy in Triple-A at the aforementioned 21 years of age. Him or Tatis next year? Okay, still Fun The Jewels, but you see where my hype is going. For this year, I’d grab Winn in all leagues for the inevitable September call-up. Oh, and I know he has a glute issue right now; don’t be a pain in the ass. He’s fine, and will be spectacular soon with the Cards. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Cards Show An Ace, Rays Bluff With Littell

August 11, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 94 Comments

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Liberatore sounds like a work of art by Picasso. “Did you see Liberatore? It’s his answer to Guernica. Masterful!” Or it sounds like something that is followed by a long list of side effects in a brand new weight loss drug commercial. Read really fast, “Liberatore can cause stomach bloating, stomach lining erosion, stomach ooh-oohs, stomach ah-ahs, stomach explosion and the runs.” Liberatore actually causing the runs with his pitching, but not last night! Matthew Liberatore went 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 5.72, and showed that promise that was hinted at when he was first called up. Liberatore, also, has some of the worst peripherals in baseball. Could he be good one day? Sure. Matthew Liberatore for 2024 fantasy? I’m interested, potentially. For this year? I have my doubts. I wouldn’t even Streamonator with him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Sophi(llienohit)a Lorenzen

August 10, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 215 Comments

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Good to see Michael Lorenzen (9 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 4 walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.23) succeed, finally a pitcher who can also hit. The Phillies fans matched the gravity of the moment, when the final out was recorded, they threw on the field name-brand batteries. None of those flimsy Costco-ass batteries! These suckers were overpriced from Wawa. Okay, okay, enough ragging on the Phillies. It’s a great city. Nowhere else can you get beat up for saying you don’t like Tastykakes. So, Michael Lorenzen’s had himself a bit of a career come-out. A Star Mitzvah, as they say. Or has he?! C’mon, Mr. Reversal Question, not now! Let us bask in his sub-7 K/9, 2-ish BB/9 and 4.00-ish neutral ERA. So, he’s likely not going to win any Cy Youngs, but he has been perfectly serviceable for most mixed leagues, especially the leagues, “Appreciated By Lovers of Tastykakes.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Gather ‘Round Kids For Story Time

August 9, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 224 Comments

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Here’s a Story…What, too obvious? Sure, but Trevor Story returns and faces Brady Singer? You can’t tempt me with that. You can tempt me with Brady Singer (6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 5.05). Can Streamonator, if you like, but, since June, his ERA is 3.53. But the real Story–God damn it! Trevor Story (0-for-4) as he was activated from the IL. He’s been gone so long when I googled Trevor Story, Google asked me, “Don’t you mean Trevor May?” I said no and it asked, “Trevor Williams?” I said absolutely not, and it asked, “Trevor Megill? Stephan? Larnach? Oh, I know! Trevor Rogers?” No, no, no, no, no, no and no. Trevor Story! From ages (or fromages, if you’re French), 23 to his 30 years old, he’s played in 839 games and has 174 HRs, stole 113 bags and hit .268. Putting on him what he did at age 25 in Coors to what he can do these final seven weeks seems unfair, but why do I have to be fair? He’s capable of 20/7/20/.280 /7 in 150 ABs. That’s great! Definitely worth rostering. Do I think he comes close to those numbers? I’d put the under on each. I’m really skeptical he’s going to be running. Welcome back, you have been anything but a neverending Story. A Start-and-Stopping Story? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

I’ll Have What He’s Gavin

August 8, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 194 Comments

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This year is hilarious! This year is like Opposite World! George Constanza would’ve done so well with pitching this year! Gavin Williams, who sounds like the actor who played Potsie (I’m old!) and had a 7.8 K/9 and 4.4 BB/9, goes against the 5th best team for average, 22nd worst team for strikeouts, 2nd best team for hits, and throws an absolute gem — 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.90. Of course, Potsie was supposed to be better than he had showed so far in the majors, but no one was expecting him to have an outing like that! G. Will-ikers! Gavin a (P)Jays Party! It’s square as eff Monday here at Razzball! I’m talking about Potsie and freakin’ pajamas! So, as I alluded to earlier, Gavin Williams was supposed to be good. This might’ve been a wink-wink, nudge-nudge for Gavin Williams 2024 fantasy. For this year? He’s still inducing weak contact, even if the Ks haven’t been there before last night, as his ERA attests. I had them Bibee, Allen then Gavin, but Potsie’s easily jumped Allen, if he’s throwing for strikeouts now. Anyway. here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Oh Baby! The Jays Have Something In Schneider

August 7, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 280 Comments

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Hol’ hol’ hol’ up! Jays manager’s name is John Schneider, and they just happened to find a replacement for the three-hole in their lineup named, Davis Schneider? This seems suspect! What’s also got me sniffing the waiver wire saying, “That’s fishy,” what did they put in Schneider? He’s the first player in MLB history with two homers and nine hits in his first three games. Reranking in my head for 2024 fantasy, “Acuña, Davis Schneider, Ohtani.” Davis Schneider not number one overall? No, okay? Not yet! Maybe after this week! So, Davis Schneider did all that bombing out of Fenway, and, in Triple-A, he went 21/9/.275 with a 21.9% strikeout rate. I get it, he was a bit old for the level, but, at 24, it wasn’t like he was Joey Meneses. Not to mentionese, did we forget last year with Meneses? Sometimes guys come up, and hit for two months until pitchers figure them out next year. Schneider has no prospect pedigree, but I’d grab him in any league until he stopped hitting, or until we find out he’s John Schneider’s kid, and, as we learned in Little League, he’s only hitting third because of daddy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Buy More Jeimer

August 4, 2023 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 314 Comments

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Jeimer Candelario stares out at the desert landscape in New Mexico. Behind him, an El Pollo Loco, in front of him nothing as far as the eye can see. “Now I Am Become Death, the Destroyer of Balls.” That’s a wide open Jeimer. Um, ‘open-for-business.’ That’s an important distinction. Also, it’s an important distinction to say “balls” as in baseballs. The open Jeimer pushes a button and–it’s a bomb. The explosion reverberates. A mushroom cloud ascends to the heavens. The bomb is a home run into the Wrigley bleachers. Prolly a good distinction to make, as well. Finally the open Jeimer says, “I wanted to hit that bomb off German. Uh, Domingo.” So, Jeimer Candelario was a sleeper of mine two years ago, and he did not pan out at all, but it shows you there was pedigree. It just took a little while longer. His Launch Angle is perfect for Wrigley and his HR/FB is actually not that inflated, meaning he could actually become a home run hitter (27-homer-power) with a solid-enough average (.255) for 2024 fantasy, but this is for this year, and he’s been hot. Like nuclear. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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