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Lance McCullers, 2016 Fantasy Sleeper

December 31, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 147 Comments

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What’s Ice T’s favorite pastry?  Cruellers, cruellers, cruellers, cr-cruellers.  Who’s Ice T’s favorite pitcher?  Lance McCullers, McCullers, McCullers, Mc-Cullers.  Sorry, if I didn’t get that out of the way up front it would’ve gnawed at me this entire post and I never would’ve been able to write it.  Now, into the actual post, you know how they say you can’t fold a piece of paper more than seven times?  (Yes, I know MythBusters folded a football field-sized piece of paper eleven times, but the myth is seven-plus times.)  That myth is how I feel about starting pitchers.  There’s so many guys that I like late that I feel like I can’t fold them all into a singular fantasy team.  Maybe this is subconsciously the reason why I manage upwards to ten fantasy teams.  This way I can have a little taste of all of the late-round starters that I like.  One such pitcher is Lance McCullers.  Last season, he had a 3.22 ERA, 1.19 WHIP, 9.2 K/9 and a 3.50 xFIP.  If you know a thing or two about a thing or two, you’re saying to yourself, “How is this guy a sleeper?  He was great last year.”  Good question, Voice In Your Head.  He shouldn’t be a sleeper, which is why he is a sleeper.  Wrap your noodle around that, stick it in some boiling water and stir it so it doesn’t stick.  You feel me?  Okay, seriously, stop touching me, it’s weird.  Anyway, what can we expect from Lance McCullers for 2016 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Aroldis Gives Girardi Another Reason To Yank Starters

December 29, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 131 Comments

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Overheard at my house on Christmas, “Why isn’t it Jesusmas?”  Then someone who you only see once a year chimes in, “‘Jesus, mas’ is what I say to the waiter when I want more cheese and his name is Jesus.”  Ah, family over the holidays.  Arriving a few days late for Christmas for Yankee fans was Aroldis Chapman.  It didn’t come in their stocking, but he will probably be wearing a stocking on his head while he tries to board a domestic airline with a gun.  “You know, in Cuba, no one cares if I wear a stocking on my head and try to rob people, because Fidel owns everything anyway.”  That’s Aroldis sitting next to someone in First Class who is being polite but just wants to watch Jason Sudeikis in Vacation.  So, Aroldis joins an already stacked Yankee bullpen and does nothing but makes it more sizzling, obviously.  I could make the case that Aroldis is the best closer of all-time, not just the best one in the majors right now, so, yeah, he’s definitely a $12 Salad and that doesn’t change in New York.  He could miss a couple of weeks of the season, due to domestic abuse charges, but that’s not set in stone, and, if baseball is ever going to become as popular as football, then the league will turn the other cheek while asking his girlfriend to do the same.  For 2016, I’ll give Aroldis the projections of 4-2/2.04/1.03/110, 40 saves in 60 IP.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2016 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Randal Grichuk, 2016 Fantasy Sleeper

December 28, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 67 Comments

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I was between Stephen Piscotty and Randal Grichuk for a sleeper post.  Why did Stephen lose out?  Piscotty doesn’t know!  Grey does, though.  They’re roughly the same age; Piscotty will be 25 to start 2016, but Grichuk won’t turn 25 until August.  They were both first round draft picks.  That’s neither here nor there; no more rhyming and I mean it, anyone want a peanut?  I don’t dislike Piscotty, but last year in a full season, he was on pace for around 16 HRs, 5 SBs and a .270 average.  Grichuk was on pace for 23 HRs, 8 SBs and a .250 average.  Those lines aren’t that different for fantasy value.  Twenty points in average makes up for the power and speed lost, but average is fickle and how many times can one write Piscotty doesn’t know?  Piscotty doesn’t know!  Grey does, three times.  That’s it, then a small migraine starts to pulse in your frontal lobe.  Real baseball people who spit and scratch themselves would like Piscotty better (he takes more walks, strikes out less, better OBP).  I like Piscotty too, especially soaked in espresso, but The Amazing Randal feels slightly more upsidey and I just had my computer dictionary learn the word upsidey, so here we are.  Anyway, what can we expect from Randal Grichuk for 2016 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Position Eligibility for 2016 Fantasy Baseball

December 24, 2015 | 2016 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 123 Comments

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On Dancer!  On Prancer!  On–Oh, I didn’t hear you come in.  Welcome, reader!  Grab some egg nog and brandy it up to the fire.  You look festive.  I love that Rudolph tongue ring.  That’s the great thing about Christmas, no matter what your interpretation is, it’s all about commercialism.  That’s unless you light the Munenori Kawasaki. The 2016 fantasy baseball rankings are not far away.  Right now, January Grey is throwing darts at a board to figure out where to rank Rusney Castillo.  Exciting!   In the meantime, let’s look at the players who have multiple position eligibility for this upcoming 2016 fantasy baseball season.  The biggest surprise from this list?  Sean Rodriguez played how many games at 1st base?  Hayzeus Cristo!  I did this list of multi-position eligible players because I figured it would help for your 2016 fantasy baseball drafts.  I’m a giver, snitches!  Happy Holidays!  I only listed players that have multiple position eligibility of ten games or more played outside of their primary position.  Not FIVE games at a position, not six, definitely not seven. Ten games.  10, the Laurel & Hardy of numbers.  So this should cover Yahoo, ESPN, CBS, et al (not the Israeli airline).  Yes, Christmas came a day early this year.  Players with multiple position eligibility are listed once alphabetically under their primary position.  This is the only time a year I do anything alphabetically, so I might’ve confused some letters.  Is G or H first?  Who knows, and, better yet, who cares?  Wow, someone’s got the Grinchies, must be the spiked egg nog talking.  Anyway, here’s all the players with multiple position eligibility for the 2016 fantasy baseball season and the positions they are eligible at:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Michael Conforto, 2016 Fantasy Sleeper

December 22, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 133 Comments

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I was thisclose to writing a sleeper post on Travis d’Arnaud but A) The Mets said some nonsense like they might platoon him with Kevin Plawecki. B) I kinda promised myself to go easy on catcher sleepers this year.  C) There’s no C.  So, how did this lead me to Michael Conforto?  I was thinking about the Mets.  Grey’s mind –> linear like E equals MC Shan.  Throughout Conforto’s minor league career, he was a bat-first prospect that always fell in prospect rankings because of his fielding. (He was listed as the 80th best prospect on Baseball America and #82 on MLB.com.  That’s number 82, not hashtag for you millennials.)  This is great news, because, for our purposes, fielding can go BASE jump from a tall building.  This is an interesting phenomenon (not interesting) that I see a lot with fantasy.  Guys that have poor gloves have their values deflated for fantasy, even though there’s no reason unless you’re in a league with errors.  Another Met in Wilmer Flores had this phenomenon strike his fantasy value.  Of course, with Flores, the Mets benched him at times due to his glove, made him cry and now replaced him with Asdrubal.  Conforto won’t be benched; he’ll be buried in left field.  Even in the World Series this past year, Conforto was a regular in the lineup at just 22 years old, and that was with Yoenis still on the team.  Even if the Mets go out and sign an outfield bat, Conforto will be guaranteed a spot in the lineup, and with David Wright aging at 12 frames per second and Duda looking like doodie for about six weeks at a time, Conforto could be *the* middle of the order bat for the Mets.  (Those are fireworks around the word the, not asterisks.)  Anyway, what can we expect from Michael Conforto for 2016 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Delino DeShields, 2016 Fantasy Sleeper

December 21, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 135 Comments

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In 200 plate appearances, there’s four guys that went above and beyond in speed last year.  In order of fastest to slowest with slowest still being the very, very3 fastest of the fast players:  Jarrod Dyson, Delino DeShields, Rajai Davis and Billy Hamilton.  (Fifth is Jake Marisnick which is a name for another day.)  None of those qualified last year for the batting title.  I mean, even if they did, they wouldn’t have won it, but I mean none of them had a full season of at-bats.  Dyson only had 225 plate appearances, Rajai, the King of SAGNOF, had 370 and Billy Hamilton had 454.  DeShields had the most with 492.  The difference between last year and this year for Rajai, Dyson and Hamilton is a calendar change and nothing else.  The first two guys will be platoon guys and Hamilton has his own issues.  Whereas, DeShields will not only play every day, but he will also bat leadoff.  If he has less than 550 ABs next year, it’ll only be because of an injury.  His Speed Score was 8.3.  Dee Gordon was 7.3.  DeShields gets down the line in 3.8 seconds.  4 seconds is considered to be Cooperstown-type speed.  Maury Wills outrunning a motorcycle that’s being driven by Bob Feller’s fastball type speed.  DeShields is about as fast as a player has ever been or will ever be.  Swish that around in your mouth for a few seconds like you actually consider dental hygiene.  In the time it took you to swish that around, Deshields ran from home to first.  Anyway, what can we expect from Delino DeShields for 2016 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Brett Lawrie, 2016 Fantasy Sleeper

December 18, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 125 Comments

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Hehe, this post sucks.  It’s gonna suck writing it, and it’s gonna suck reading it.  Luckily, most of you schmohawks skip right to the comments to ask me about your teams.  This post sucks, because Brett Lawrie has been around more blocks than the skeezehead that you dated briefly after your marriage fell apart.  Brett Lawrie is just hot garbage, and there’s a pending lawsuit by actual hot garbage to fine anyone seen calling Lawrie hot garbage, so I’m going to have to lawyer up.  Let’s count the ways that Lawrie colossally sucks dog balls.  He came up in 2011 and hit 9 homers and stole 7 bases after hitting 18 homers and stealing 13 bases in Triple-A.  Looked prime to be a superstar.  Then 2012 happened (11 HRs, 13 SBs, .273) and he looked less primed for a breakout and more like a guy that needed to rebound from a sophomore slump in 2013.  Then 2013 happened (11 HRs, 9 SBs, .254) and he looked like he fell in love with ‘having 11 homers.’  Lawrie and 11 homers sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G.  That’s sweet and all, but get a room with 11 homers if you love it so much.  Whatever, he was still young and there was always 2014.  In 2014, he hit 12 HRs, and 11 homers suddenly got jealous.  The Blue Jays said love, peace and hair grease and the documentary about who will be the A’s 2015 reclamation project got a subject to follow.  With Lawrie’s career thus far too depressing for Werner Herzog, the documentary never happened, but Lawrie did happen, slightly…Okay, at least he didn’t hit 11 or 12 homers.  He hit 16 homers, stole 5 bases and hit .260.  Yunel Escobar yawns in the general direction of those numbers, but what if Lawrie has more upside for next year?  I mean, he is only going to be 26 years old in 2016.  Anyway, what can we expect from Brett Lawrie for 2016 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Second City Search For Third Baseman Brings Forth Frazier

December 17, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 103 Comments

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The Reds are like the slowest team ever to rebuild.  They sell off a piece every few months or so.  “We’re getting rid of Cueto as we look to the future.”  Dot dot dot.  A month later, “Someone make us an offer for Leake.  We’re rebuilding…kinda.”  Dot dot dot.  A few months later, “Okay, who wants Aroldis?  For what it’s worth, he has a gun permit.”  Dot dot dot.  “Todd Frazier anyone?  Everything must go…eventually!”  Dot dot dot.  “Hey, what do y’all think of Brandon Phillips?”  The teamsters on three hours of sleep broke down the Titanic set quicker than the Reds.  By August of 2016, Votto may be hitting between Kyle Waldrop and Cozart, and, knowing Votto, he will still hit .320.  Any hoo!  Moving to the White Sox doesn’t hurt Frazier, in theory.  I say that because I feel like everything the White Sox touch turns to the wall of a Porta-Potty. Maybe it’s the Curse of Bill Veeck.  Or just the Curse of the “Ill, Eek.”  Capital I’s with an L next to it are weird, right?  Okay, back to baseball!  Frazier had 35 HRs last year and a 15.1% HR/FB, which is nothing.  That’s around his career norm.  He achieved this by hitting everything in the air.  If he keeps that up — literally — in Chi-town, good things can continue to happen.  Of course, every action has an equal opposite reaction, and more fly balls could hurt his average, which would hurt his runs and RBIs.  Brucely, I’d take that trade off.  Then throw in his 15-ish steals and you have a guy that should be near the top 25 overall for fantasy.  For 2016, I’ll give him 86/30/98/.250/14.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in 2016 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Brandon Belt, 2016 Fantasy Sleeper

December 15, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 149 Comments

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I look at all kinds of stats to find sleepers for next year.  Brandon Belt was one name that came up on a lot of different searches through last year’s numbers.  No, smart guy, I wasn’t searching “Players that have disappointed year after year.”  Belt had the ninth best for Hard Contact Percentage.  Like a bar stool, that’s right behind Miguel Cabrera.  It’s not surprising that Belt was top ten for the majors last year.  Belt hit nearly 40% of all balls hard. (Belt hitting balls hard gives me flashbacks to being bent over my grandmother’s lap.)  The top guy in the majors for Hard Contact was J.D. Martinez at 42.3%, and the difference between Belt and the top guy overall was about the same as the difference between Belt and AL MVP, Josh Donaldson (37.1%).  Guys that Belt hit the ball harder than is a who’s who — Kris Bryant, McCutchen, Votto, Braun, Yoenis, A-Gon, etc. etc. etc.  Another stat where Belt popped up on — actually bad choice of words — was Infield Fly Balls percentage.  Belt had an 0.8% Infield Fly Ball rate, which was 2nd in the league after Christian Yelich, who didn’t pop up once.  Not popping up means you’re hitting the ball solid.  Speaking of hitting the ball solid, guess who led the league in Line Drive Percentage.  I’ll give you one guess, his name rhymes with Random Melt.  It’s Brandon Belt, you dope!  For guys who made the weakest contact overall, it’s no surprise that Belt is in the bottom ten, right in front of Mike Trout.  For just about every stat for a hitter making solid contact, Brandon Belt places.  For the stats that matter for fantasy (HRs/SBs), I’m going to give you two players and one is Belt.  18 HRs/7 SBs vs. 18 HRs/9 SBs.  Like Michael Hutchence, Belt is on the latter.  Eric Hosmer is the first one.  Intrigued yet?  I bet you are, you rabid horny fantasy sleeper monger.  Anyway, what can we expect from Brandon Belt for 2016 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Heyward Cublowme

December 14, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 148 Comments

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Javier Baez takes another shoveling of dirt as he gets buried further.  “Is this a staged Off Broadway adaption of The Revenant?”  Javier asks as he spits dirt out of his mouth.  “You have a toothpick?  I have dirt stuck between my teeth.  Hello?”  Baez doesn’t know why this shadowy figure won’t stop shoveling dirt on top of his body; he’s obviously not dead.  Or is he?  Just then, the camera swings around, and, in a crazy twist that only M. Night Shamalamadingdong could’ve came up with, the person that is doing the shoveling is Arismendy Alcantara.  “If I can’t have fantasy value, then never can you!”  Arismendy yells as he cackles maniacally.   Then, “You still want that toothpick?”  And…scene!  So, Jason Heyward signs with the Cubs and moves Arismendy and Baez even further down the depth charts.  At this point, they are closer to playing on the Padres after a trade than they are at playing in Chicago.  Heyward had sneaky value last year, as in it seemed like he disappointed, but since steals are scarce (only seven players last year stole 30 bags), and since Heyward provided some value in all categories, he wasn’t that bad.  His numbers last year seemed like a poor man’s Lorenzo Cain.  I will call him Crack Cocaine.  Moving to the stacked Cubs lineup and into Wrigley could provide Heyward’s best season to date.  I’ll give him the projections of 87/22/77/.274/15, which has him hitting leadoff for about 80 games and shuffling between 2nd, 3rd and 5th in the other games.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in 2016 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Rougned Odor, 2016 Fantasy Sleeper

December 11, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 216 Comments

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You know what I keep finding?  No, not lint in body areas that I need Google to identify.  Though, I do feel bad for the guy that keeps asking on Yahoo! Answers, “How do you stop lint from accumulating in your philtrum?”  What I keep finding is sleepers that really weren’t that bad last year.  Let’s throw out runs and RBIs, because those are a product of lineup placement and team offense, and let’s look at the all important HRs, batting average and SBs.  One guy had 16 HRs, 6 SBs and a .261 average; another guy had 21 HRs, 2 SBs and .287 average.  One guy is 33 years old; one guy is 21 years old.  One guy is obviously Rougned Odor and one guy is Robinson Cano.  For those that just skim think pieces and daydream during the offseason, I’m gonna give you the most succinct knowledge you will find outside of “Don’t sleep with a girl who has a blister on her lip and scratches herself in public.”  That knowledge:  33 years old is on the wrong side of a hitter’s bell curve for production, and 21 years old is on the right side.  If you have an X-axis labeled “Age,” and a Y-axis labeled “Production,” Odor’s going up and Cano’s going down.  I.e., in 2016, I’d want Odor over Cano.  Now, even a jury member that found Robert Durst innocent can tell you Cano will be drafted before Odor in all leagues, so I think we’ve found some value.  Anyway, what can we expect from Rougned Odor for 2016 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Yanks’ Middle Of Diamond Looking Castrogorius

December 10, 2015 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 108 Comments

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Uh no, the Yankees fell for the oldest trick in the book, mon!  Starlin Castro was traded to the Yankees for middle reliever, Adam Warren.  Didn’t the Yanks get the memo?  Middle relievers are the new cheap starters.  There was an interesting development the past week.  Jordan Zimmermann got ridunk money and everyone was like, “Damn, Cousin Fat Pockets needs to let out the elastic on his velcro wallet.”  Then David Price got boku bucks and a Nigerian from Nigeria by the name of Boku said, “My last name is not bucks, I’m confused by this idiom.”  Then Zack Greinke went for a walk in the park and came across a suitcase of $206.5 million and looked over his shoulder slowly, then looked back at the suitcase, then started putting million dollar bills into his shorts.  Finally, Henderson Alvarez was non-tendered and the entire league was interested, and this sounded warning bells.  People are interested in Henderson Alvarez?!  What the eff!  At that point, the smarter GMs realized they just need to make it so their starters that aren’t terrific go six innings, then their bullpens can come in.  The Royals realized this two years ago, but now everyone is catching on.  As for Castro on the Yankees, I want to say unequivocally that this is the best landing spot for him in the majors outside of Coors.  Castro has totally failed as a top prospect– Oh, wait, he’s only 25 years old.  This was a case where the Cubs didn’t make a bad deal; they just had too much of a good thing with middle infielders, and their eyes set on Messin’ Wit’ The Zo’.  Castro feels set up to have his biggest season to date, and I’m going to project him as such.  For 2016, I’ll give him 72/16/77/.274/7 with room for more.  As for the future at 2nd base in Robert Refsnyder, there’s always playing for the Padres in two years.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2016 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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