We (me) have gone over the catchers, 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen to target, cause I have to do everything around here! Look at me, throwing shade like a lamp in the shape of Nolan Ryan’s arm. That makes sense…if you don’t think about it! That’s what I want my bumper sticker to say, my clever t-shirt will say that too and every time I open a fortune cookie, it will say that. How can I arrange my life so this happens? I need a personal assistant. “So, it says you worked as Kanye’s assistant and you bought mirrors for nine months straight….” That’s me checking the CV of my favorite imaginary assistant. Okay, so this post is all the outfielders that are being drafted after 200 overall that I have uber-sexy feelings for. Last year, I featured Saunders, Lorenzo Cain, Adam Eaton, Joc Pederson, Souza, Khris Davis, Fowler and Domonic Brown, because Tehol and I shared a towel and I got an earworm. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Canada) supplement to the top 100 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2016 projections. Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2016 fantasy baseball:
Delino DeShields (Yahoo 258) If there’s one guy from this post I want, it’s that personal assistant that used to work with Kanye that I was interviewing in the lede! If there’s one player I want, it’s DeShields. DeNow! DeEverywhere! DeGiveMe! DePlease! He’s Delino DeShizznit! I already gave you a Delino DeShields sleeper, and I really think he can be a top 15 outfielder overall. Like up there with the Ryan Brauns of the world. Once we get into the draft season, sleepers tend to be discovered and they lose their value. But DeShields? Still no one is talking about him! He has 70-steal speed and 10-homer power. Yes, seriously.
Khris Davis (ESPN 200) You know who Davis feels like? Trumbo. Not the current Trumbo, but the younger one that would hit 30+ homers, steal 5+ bases and sympathize with the Commies. If you’re late in a draft and feel light on power, there’s about three guys worthwhile for power: Chris Carter (will kill you in average), Marlon Byrd (platooning) and Davis.
Wil Myers (Yahoo 314, ESPN 215) This is going to be you next year, “Myers was so young last year and was always touted as a top prospect, why did you let me overlook him? Oh, and Bernie Sanders is signing autographs at my local library of pictures of him shaking his fist, wanna check it out with me?” Sorry, I can’t make a library autograph show and I’m telling you now not to overlook Myers.
Joc Pederson (ESPN 223) I have Pederson ranked much higher than anyone else, because I don’t buy a guy that went 30/30 in Triple-A for the first time in eighty years is the sum of his 2nd half. He is going to lower his strikeouts, steal bases and be all-around adorable.
Michael Conforto (Yahoo 238, ESPN 254) I already gave you my Michael Conforto sleeper. Unfortch, since I wrote that post the Mets re-signed Yoenis. I should’ve known something was up when the Mets announced they were leasing a fancy car warehouse from Jay Leno for a player to be named later. I’d still draft Conforto in shallow leagues, but now you’re going to need to platoon him.
Domingo Santana (Yahoo 383, ESPN 256) I already gave you my Domingo Santana sleeper. As with the Conforto sleeper, there’s been some changes since I wrote that post, but rather than changing for the worse, things have actually turned for the positive with the Brewers trading away Khris Davis. Sunday Santana, Conforto, Hicks and every guy in this post really makes me wish I had eight outfielder slots on my team. Kinda like how many outfielder slots the Cubs need.
Aaron Hicks (Unranked by both) Yeah, I wrote a sleeper-ish post for him too. I’m planning on drafting Hicks, and potentially dropping him in shallower leagues once the season starts if all of the Yankees are healthy. Of course, the entire Yankees offense is a sneeze away from throwing out their back for three months.
Dexter Fowler (ESPN 257) This is a great example of, ‘What is ESPN talking about?’ This is direct from Clara Bell, “Fowler’s fantasy value really doesn’t change (in Chicago). He was slated to lead off for the Orioles, a decent offense, and now he’s back leading off for the Cubs, a more decent offense if not an elite one. Good for Fowler. Fantasy’s No. 33 outfielder from last year’s Player Rater is never ranked quite that generously, but anything before the 20th round seems about right. I’m going to move him up in the rankings a tad.” And Fowler’s still ranked after all of the names I’ve listed above him. By his own admission, Fowler should be ranked higher and yet he’s not. Oh. *pauses to watch Antique Roadshow* Kay.
Byron Buxton (Yahoo 224, ESPN 273) I’m gonna wrap this up soon, because there are about 35 outfielders that I would happily draft that are ranked way late.
Gerardo Parra (Yahoo 218, ESPN 314) He gives me the feels of a guy that no one will be excited about drafting, no one will love owning and then, when we get to October, he’ll be a top 40 outfielder.
Jarrod Dyson (Yahoo 317, not in ESPN’s top 100 OFs) SAGNOF!
Michael Saunders (Yahoo 309, ESPN unranked) Doode’s straight murdering the ball in the spring. I know, I know, spring stats don’t matter. But doode is catching charges on balls in the spring. I know, it doesn’t matter. But doode needs a permed-out hair Marcia Clark to prosecute or he’s going to jail for many years with what he’s doing to balls this spring. And it doesn’t matter, but he’s still worth a flyer.
Keon Broxton (Unranked by Yahoo and ESPN) I just recently added him into the top 100 outfielders and my top 500 when Rymer Liriano went down. As I said in the outfielder rankings, “Last year in the minors (Broxton) hit 10 homers and stole 40 bases. Dot dot dot. CAN I HAVE HIS CHILDREN?! CAN I AT LEAST WATCH HIM MAKE CHILDREN?! CAN I ASSIST WITH HIS BABYMAKING?! What’s that? He could also hit .190? Damn, Keon, not only do you sound like the black friend who shuts down any talk of me hooking up with your sister, but you also straight poop on my upside party. Considering how late he’ll be drafted, Broxton is solid flyer. Definitely worth a flyer in deep leagues, but don’t expect too much.” And that’s me quoting me!
Eddie Rosario (Yahoo 346, ESPN 348) I’ve asked a few writers on Razzball to write up something on Rosario because I don’t think I’m going to have time and he deserves his own post or pownst, if you’re into portmanteaus. So far, I’ve been met with the indifference of a prisoner choosing between beige meat and gray meat. By the by, Ladies Love Grey Meat, nah’mean? LL GM! So, if no one takes me up on my offer to write up Rosario, we might be left with this blurb that hasn’t been anything about why I like him. Lowercase yay! I understand completely why no one is interested in Rosario — plays for the Twins, had only 15 walks in 474 plate appearances and strikes out. He looks like hot garbage in your glove compartment after your car’s been parked inside a dumpster for five years. That’s for real baseball. Real baseball has more spitting than fantasy baseball (same amount of obscene scratching). For fantasy, Rosario had a year of 21 HRs, 17 SBs in the minors (yes, Rookie Ball), and has hit and shown speed everywhere he’s played. Last year in the majors, he hit 13 HRs and stole 11 bags. Last year, on our Player Rater, he was ranked 206th. That was in his first major league season (he’s only 24) and that was in only three-quarters of a season. Want a prediction that is completely bonkers? Rosario will be more valuable than Sano this year. Zoinks!
