We’re nearing the end of hitters in the 2016 fantasy baseball rankings, but there’s still a few buzzer-beating gems left. Ranked this late last year was David Peralta….and he’s ranked again this late. Also, Alex Presley was ranked this late last year. Where did he go? I know he left the building, but I didn’t hear where he was headed. Anyone? Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. What matters is we have each other. Now let’s sit on opposite sides of the couch and watch TV in silence. Hey, it’s like we’re married! As with the other rankings, my projections are included and where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball:
61. Rajai Davis – This tier started in the top 60 outfielders for 2016 fantasy baseball. This tier ends at Rajai. I called this tier, “SAGNOF!” As for Rajai, The King of SAGNOF, Rajai, fixes his crown and sits. After a moment, he starts singing, “All the lonely Starbucks lovers…Starbucks lovers? What the hell does that mean?” Suddenly, loud knocking. “Hey, I’ll be out in a few, I ate some of the bean dip Chisenhall brought in.” 2016 Projections: 52/8/38/.251/29
62. Jay Bruce – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Reddick. I call this tier, “I guess they could be good. I’m not planning on finding out.” Tier name is fairly obvious. I don’t like these guys and they can sit on my draft board for a long time before I even consider them. If Bruce, for unstints, is at the top of my draft board for a round or two, then that means I’m drafting a pitcher for a round or two. Or a middle infidel. As for Bruce, just a few short years ago, it seemed like the world was his oyster. Turned out that oyster was contaminated with the affluenza virus, and, while Bruce enjoys whiffing, you should be holding your nose and moving away from him. 2016 Projections: 65/27/82/.229/8
63. Curtis Granderson – The glass is half full for Granderson fans: He always does better than I expect. The glass is half empty: It’s Granderson, how excited for him can you get? 2016 Projections: 81/19/61/.230/8
64. Shin-Soo Choo – I’m a serious ageist. My ranking of Holliday, Melky, Grandy, Gordon, almost this whole tier, etc. comes to mind when I think about how I like to avoid older players. Frequent commenter, Simply Fred, pointed out to me last October, after I finished in the top ten out of 1200 commenter leagues, that I didn’t draft one player over the age of 29. It’s been written about five dozen kazillion times elsewhere so I won’t rehash here, but baseball players peak in their 20s, not in their 30s. Shin-Soo old. Nah’mean? 2016 Projections: 75/17/58/.265/5
65. Matt Holliday – He’s one more poor season away from being ranked where Jayson Werth, Markakis and Nori Aoki are ranked. Where’s that, Unkie Grey? It’s in the top 100 outfielders, nephew. Some might argue that Holliday has one more Zombino season in him and should be ranked higher, but it would make more sense to argue Melky should be higher than Holliday. There’s nothing screaming rebound in 2016 for Holliday, except for the Cards fan with a megaphone that is standing next to that Stan Musial statue. 2016 Projections: 75/18/78/.269/3
66. Alex Gordon – A lot of talk this offseason about Gordon, right? Like you’d wake up in the morning and say to yourself, “Cereal, today you’re going in my mouth and not onto my lap. News, today you’re going to tell me where Gordon’s going to sign.” Then, each day would pass, and cereal onto your lap and no Gordon news. Finally, he made the decision to stay with the Royals for $72 million. Lost a bit in all the news about where he’d sign was that he hit 13 homers with two steals and had a .271 average last year. Of course, Gordon missed fifty games due to injury, but he’s also going to be 32 years old. Yeah, I’m not enthused. 2016 Projections: 72/16/80/.262/7
67. Melky Cabrera – As I alluded to in Holliday’s blurb, Melky makes a better case to be ranked higher up. What stopped me? His case isn’t that strong. 2016 Projections: 79/14/68/.276/5
68. David Peralta – True story: I wrote a sleeper post for Peralta but don’t plan on ever posting it. I was totally jazzed by what I saw with Peralta, and was properly effusive for the first 98% of the post. Then, at the end of the post, I saw something and wrote this, “His HR/FB and fly ball rate portends bad things. Look to see what portends means and, if it means what you think, don’t post this sleeper post.” And so disappeared the Peralta’s sleeper post like a dog disappears into a jar a peanut butter. Speaking of dogs, I bought my dog a GoPro for Christmas, and he is so thrilled to be carrying it. Byes the ways, I do realize that I have two Rockies in a tier that I don’t want in the top 40 outfielders and a Diamondback, a Red and a Red Sox player in a tier here that I don’t want. Park factors, schmark factors! 2016 Projections: 58/14/71/.277/7
69. Austin Jackson – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the White Sox to rid the world of any hope for Avisail Garcia. “We will trade you Avisail for Jered Weaver wearing a Trout jersey.” That’s Avisail pretending to be the White Sox GM and attempting to trade himself to the Angels. Jackson should see action (BAM!) every day in the outfield in north Chicago and steal some bases. On a related note, in the last two weeks, the White Sox have signed Austin Jackson and Jimmy Rollins, knocking out Avisail and any chance for Tim Anderson. In other words, Brian Sabean is now GM’ing the White Sox. “Guys, can we get a check on Mark Buehrle’s availability?” That’s Sabean sneaking in to be the White Sox GM.” And that’s me quoting me! 2016 Projections: 58/7/52/.258/15
70. Josh Reddick – Last year, he had 20 HRs, 10 SBs and his .272. Okay, I’ll say it. Reddick really wasn’t that bad, and that’s the only time outside of a urologist’s office you will hear that. He also had 582 plate appearances, i.e., I can’t imagine getting much more from him. If he were traded to Colorado, I’d say he’s one of the biggest sleepers, but he’s not. He’s in Oaktown. There is a certain symmetry to having a Reddick in a place where fly balls go to die. 2016 Projections: 58/17/64/.277/7
71. Leonys Martin – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Duvall. I call this tier, “Brendan Dassey.” If you haven’t watched Making A Murderer yet, then you’re being un-American and you should follow ISIS on Twitter. Best documentary I’ve seen in a long time, best long-form documentary I’ve ever seen, and, to put that in proper perspective, I watch a lot of documentaries. Without giving anything away, the tier name is Brendan Dassey because the guys in this tier are getting a raw deal and, if there’s any justice on this giant snow globe we call earth, they should break out. Would I count on it? About as likely as seeing Dassey at the next Wrestlemania. One final thing about Making A Murderer, who knew ex-Braves pitcher, Steve Avery, had such an interesting backstory? As for Leonys, he looks like he could be Pollock. No, not as in, he wears socks with flip-flops. I mean, he could hit 15 HRs and steal 35 bases. Only thing stopping him is a platoon in Safeco, which sounds about as appetizing as a pig in a blanket. Not a hot dog in a puff pastry, but an actual pig in a Snuggie. There are some if’s that can get me to Leonys breaking out, but there’s a lot of them. Ready? If Nori Aoki gets hurt and Martin moves to leadoff and not Ketel Marte. If he lowers his Ks. If he hits more homers than he’s ever hit in a park that’s not conducive to it. If he starts and doesn’t platoon. If he actually hits lefties. If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, I’d be a diabetic squirrel. 2016 Projections: 51/7/54/.254/27 in 465 ABs
72. Avisail Garcia – So, I still like him and would draft him, but we’re butting up against just about the last year where I’m even willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and not just name him Avifail. UPDATE: With the Austin Jackson signing, Avisail has nowhere to play. Too bad, I enjoy being disappointed by him every year. UPDATE II, The Return of the Update: LaRoche retired, so Avisail should get most DH at-bats. 2016 Projections: 67/19/71/.248/7
73. Socrates Brito – Appropriate that he’s in the Brendan Dassey tier because if there’s any justice, there will be Socrates. This is a bit more of a flyer than some of the guys in this tier, but he has the upside of a Leonys and Duvall. This tier is what one would call your very late sleeper grouping. In Double-A, Socrates had nine homers and 20 steals, and Yasmany looks to be headed into the same Cuban abyss as Rusney Castillo and that guy that played Tony Montana’s buddy, Manny. 2016 Projections: 56/7/47/.264/18 in 410 ABs
74. Adam Duvall – As I’ve mentioned numerous times before, I look at other people’s projections. It would be foolish not to. When I looked at Duvall’s projections by Steamer, my eyes bugged out like John Lithgow in The Twilight Zone movie. He has him down for like 30 homers and five steals. Duvall isn’t even slotted into an everyday spot yet. If, and, yes, it’s a Gilbert Grape mom-sized if, Duvall does play every day, he could break out and will likely be drafted like it. Everyone will want a piece of him. He has shown power in the minors and hit five homers in only 27 games last year for the Reds. Another problem, he’s 27 years old and could be a Quad-A player. Reds right now seem set on platooning him with Scott Schebler, and once Duvall’s playing time clears up I could be moving him in the rankings. I’m only going with Duvall here over Schebler because he’s older and I think the Reds give him a chance first. Or they trade Bruce for a can of tomatoes and play both of them. 2016 Projections: 48/19/56/.225/4 in 400 ABs
75. Colby Rasmus – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the top 100 outfielders of 2016 fantasy baseball. I call this tier, “There’s a modicum of upside here. Modicum doesn’t mean big, in case you didn’t know.” Tier name is self-explanatory like that tattoo you got that reads, “Momma’s Boy.” As for Rasmus, he’s getting a raw deal by being ranked this low after he hit 25 homers last year. I’m going to go on eBay and bid on the world’s smallest violin, then take small violin lessons with a dwarf violinist and then play it for Rasmus. 2016 Projections: 55/23/61/.228/3
76. Desmond Jennings – He had a season of 13 HRs, 31 SBs three years ago. And three years ago Bruce Jenner was having lunch with Bill Cosby without having to watch his drink, so, ya know, times change. 2016 Projections: 54/10/58/.251/17
77. Eddie Rosario – I have a Post It note on my desk that says, “In Rosario’s blurb, mention Sano has no position eligibility and I’ll have to do a utility-only post for him, A-Rod and Ortiz.” Thanks, Post It Note Grey! What I think is going to happen with Rosario: he has a 15/15 year with a .260 average and is solid for deep leagues, but too yawnstipating for most 12-team and shallower leagues. What could happen: he finds that power that he showed in Rookie Ball when he hit 21 homers in 67 games and flashes his 25+ steal speed. Maybe I’ll put Magoo on the case, but Rosario could use a sleeper post about him. 2016 Projections: 65/16/59/.261/15
79. Aaron Altherr – Here’s a few signs that your team isn’t very good. 1) No one in your outfield is ranked in the top 79 outfielders. 2) People often confuse starters on your team with guys that are playing in Japan or as an ambassador in a european baseball league managed by Toni Kukoc. 3) There’s no 3. 4) You see Jerad Eickhoff and you think, “He could make a fine 4th outfielder on days he’s not pitching.” 5) You want your team to re-hire Ryne Sandberg, but as a middle infielder. 6) You’re actually excited about Altherr. In the minor leagues, Altherr, or as Chingy would call him Althurr, had seasons of 12 HRs, 23 SBs and 8 HRs, 25 SBs. Sadly, he was caught a lot on steals and he struck out a ton last year. If anyone’s going to have sneaky value on the Phils next year, it’s Altherr. Sneaky value on the Phils vs. sneaky value on any other team is about as lopsided of a fight as Andre the Giant vs. Salvatore Bellomo. UPDATE: Out for four to six months after wrist surgery. I guess sleeper isn’t spelled sleeperr. 2016 Projections: 57/14/63/.251/12
78. Jackie Bradley Jr. – He sounds like a Southie character that Melissa Leo would play. Of course, you don’t get many female juniors. Dot dot dot. Outside of Boston, that is! JBJ feels like the kind of guy that would get a standing ovation in his first game back in Boston after a trade, and in every other city they’d be like, “He’s a fifth outfielder, who gives a flying fudge? Mmm, flying fudge.” A city’s love for a player is nothing to scoff at, you scoffer. He could play more than he prolly should, but he looks like a 15/7/.260 in the BCS. That’s Best Case Scenario, of course, because I don’t know any other sports. 2016 Projections: 52/12/59/.244/5
79. Scott Schebler – He has the lead for the strong side of the platoon in Cincy’s left field spot. He had 27 HRs and 16 SBs in High-A — Schwingbler! He was way too old for that level for those numbers to matter — sad trombone. He had 28 HRs and 10 SBs in Double-A — batter, batter, Schwingbler! He was still old in that level and he Ks too much — sad Schebler elf. Worth the flyer to see if his minor league numbers can translate, but he could hit .210. Yay and nay, all in one sentence! C’mon, that totally warrants an exclamation mark. 2016 Projections: 54/16/59/.244/7
80. Kevin Kiermaier – …James Loney has a guy in front of him, it’s K-I-E-R. James Loney has a guy in front of him who finishes spelling his name M-A-I-E-R. Oh, I didn’t hear you come in. Sorry, was just singing to my fantasy team in a 15-team league. Right now, Kiermaier is penciled in as the everyday leadoff man in Tampa, which could spell decent counting stats. All right, enough of the spelling! What’s funny in a totally unfunny way (which was a B-side Elvis Costello song), Dickerson’s pencilled in as a platoon player even in Tampa. 2016 Projections: 67/9/36/.261/15
