I don’t usually mention pitchers in Coors.  Even rarer still that I mention pitchers filled with Coors.  Most pitchers with Coors are piss-poor.  That’s for every definition of Coors and pitchers.  Now, let’s look at the definition of belch.  To eject gas spasmodically, to eruct.  If erect is good, Coors definitely makes me eruct.  A pitcher that throws gas in Coors usually has spastic eructions.  Talk about slightly off sexy talk.  A phone sex operator should mess with a customer and say, “I want your spastic eruction all over me.”  “Did you just say you want me to belch on you?”  Yesterday, Tyler Anderson went 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, moving his ERA to 3.04.  His peripherals agree, he’s not getting by on smoke and mirrors like some children’s magician.  He has a 7.5 K/9, 2.0 BB/9 and a 3.41 xFIP.  Not an ace, but a safe number two, similar numbers to, say, Kyle Hendricks.  We need to put aside our aversion to Rockies pitchers and throw our hat in the ring for Merry Tyler Coors.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Nolan Arenado – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 30th homer.  I was thinking it might be a good time to take out my collectible Alfred E. Neuman kite with the giant ears–  Oh no!  Torenado!

Carlos Estevez – 1/3 IP, 3 ER, and his 5th blown save, ERA up to 5.18.  Can’t even use ‘winning’ as a denial mechanism like his namelganger.  I believe this is the part of the program where everyone needs to pick up Adam Ottavino.

Carlos Gonzalez – Left yesterday’s game with ankle inflammation, and could be out a few days.  Still haven’t heard of anyone being sidelined with cankle inflammation.  You messed up, God!  Gerardo Parra (1-for-4) could have some short term value, Parra what it’s worth.

Bryce Harper – Aiming to return from his sore neck today.  He first developed the sore neck from turning his head every time someone in the stands screamed, “I wish I would’ve drafted Trout instead of you!  Or even Altuve!  Or Napoli!”

Taijuan Walker – Optioned to the minors.  You know shizz is pear-shaped when you get optioned to the minors when you have 300+ IP in the majors and there’s not even that much minor league season left.  Ah, Taijuan, I’ll leave your 2017 sleeper post in draft mode.

Hisashi Iwakuma – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.79.  Hisashi my dashi — slurp, SLURP!  As iffy as Iwakuma has been this year, the Dodgers still should’ve kept him after he failed the physical this past offseason.  Couldn’t be a worst health risk than every pitcher they have.

Nick Castellanos – Out with a broken hand for six to eight weeks, but said he hopes to return in four.  He added, “It hurts like crazy, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”

Michael Fulmer – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.43.  If he pitches 49 more innings this year and keeps his ERA around where it is, he could win the ERA title in the AL.  Yup.

Yulieski Gurriel – Was promoted to Double-A and is now only one step away from the majors.  Rotoworld said of Gurriel, “This could be a star in the making.”  Rotoworld also ranked Mauer in the 1st round two years ago.  Gurriel could make an impact but he’s a Latin 32.  Not a ton of guys are ‘stars in the making’ at 32 years old without one day of MLB playing time, unless they’re played by Kevin Costner.

Jose Altuve – Sat out yesterday after appearing in 202 consecutive games.  Pfft, Cal Ripken once rubbed his unwashed jockstrap in Gregg Zaun’s face 202 straight times before lunch.

Jorge Polanco – 2-for-4, 1 run, hitting .317, and near-.400 in the last week.  Jorge Polanco isn’t the bizarro world version of Gregory Polanco.  He’s the Twins’ shortstop rookie, who is pushing Eduardo Escobar into a utility role.  Polanco hit for nine homers in Triple-A this year, has stolen 18 bags in Double-A one year and doesn’t strike out at all.  I’m not sure if he’s Erick Aybar or a rich man’s Erick Aybar, call him 5-Star, Hotel Swim-Up Bar.  Either way, that’s long-term, and, for now, he’s just a hot schmotato.

Junior Guerra – Hit the DL with a sore elbow.  His timetable for returning is unclear but I’d put it around February of next year, depending on visa issues.

Nick Markakis – 2-for-5 and his 7th homer, hitting .273.  Let me just run by you this theory.  The Greek God of Walks, Kevin Youkilis, sits on Mount Olympus.  Not the mountain, but a pile of Nikon-like cameras and he can egg on certain Greek players to hit better.  But only one at a time.  Now, with Castellanos out, Youuuuuuuk can spur on Sparkakis.  Actually, now that I type it out, this does seem likely.

A.J. Pierzynski – 2-for-5 and his 2nd homer, hitting .215.  Just think, if at your draft, you accidentally drafted in the 2nd round A.J. the Pollock rather than A.J. Pollock, you would’ve been better off.

Jim Johnson – 1 IP, 0 ER and his 7th save in the last two weeks.  You know what kind of run he’s on, right?  Jean By the Sea Go Mez!

Rob Whalen – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 5,73 thru two starts.  He’s also on the Braves.  He also has a low-90s fastball, solid-enough curve but iffy command.  Bleh, real bleh and meh-bleh.

Zach Davies – 7 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.58.  He’s been a relatively decent streamer for the better part of the year.  Would I stream him?  Do I wear a size 17 shoe and shop at the Big & Tall store like JB?  No, I don’t.  Though, Stream-o-Nator is a bit enthused about Davies’ next start.

Keon Broxton – 2-for-5, 1 RBI and his 11th steal in only 100 ABs.  JB and I talk about Keon on the podcast that’s coming later today.  I mean, of course we do, he’s a Brewer.  You heard of MILFs?  JB has BILFs.

Julio Urias – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 4.66.  We’re gonna look back in four years and wonder how Urias could have that bad of an ERA, and also wonder why President Trump is asking Mexicans to wear patches in the shape of a taco.

Corey Seager – 2-for-4 and his 20th and 21st homer.  If Correa was a first rounder this year, Seager can’t be much further back than the 2nd round next year, can he?

Yasmani Grandal – 2-for-3, 3 runs and his 17th homer, hitting .235.  He’s having the most d’Arnaud year since what I imagined d’Arnaud would be doing in my brain.

Cody Reed – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 6.36.  Next year, I’m going to say something like this, “Cody Reed is ranked 90th overall for starters, and I’d draft him.  Yes, there’s a ton of pitching.”  February Grey is so predictable.

Billy Hamilton – 1-for-4 and two steals (44, 45), hitting .255.  As the kids say, Hamilton is woke.  And by that I mean, he was Rip Van Winkle’ing for 2015 and now he’s no longer asleep.

Tony Cingrani – 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA up to 3.91.  He has 13 saves on the year, was it worth it?  Funny (not funny) how Johnson gets seven lowly Braves saves in two weeks and Cingrani gets only 13 all year.  Guess that’s why they say saves ain’t got no face.

Michael Wacha – 5 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.45.  Because there was a short schedule day, I’m mentioning Wacha (hey, Tyler Duffey didn’t even get a mention, so there’s that).  Wacha shouldn’t get a mention because he’s been more or less more and more of less and less.  Of course, with his subpar year, he’s still owned in 75% of ESPN leagues.  Maybe I’m giving Joe and Jane Random ESPN Player too much credit, but I have a feeling that ESPN never really updates their ownership numbers.

Ichiro Suzuki – 0-for-1 as he entered the game as a pinch hitter.  I mentioned this in the comments yesterday, but it still boggles my mind.  The Marlins, on the last day of a road trip, send Ichiro out to get his 3,000th hit, after they’ve been promoting Ichiro breaking 3,000 hits for the last two months.  They couldn’t wait one more game until they were back in Florida?  Then, when they are back, they don’t even start him.  Ichiro deserved better than Mattingly and the Marlins.

Christian Yelich – 3-for-6, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 12th homer.  Almost two months to the day after he won Prom King!

Johnny Cueto – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 2.93 vs. Jose Fernandez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.81.  This matchup was billed as Jo-Fer vs. Jo-Cue, a guaranteed pitcher’s duel that will likely be over in just over two hours.  That’s two hours past both pitchers being out of the game.

Brandon Crawford – 7-for-8, 1 run, 2 RBIs and his 4th steal.  He entered the game 2,384 hits behind Ichiro, but he gave it the ol’ college try.

Denard Span – 3-for-7, 3 runs and his 12th steal.  I don’t need steals at all in one league, so I dropped Span, but as I was doing it, I knew it was going to haunt me because he’s hitting near-.350 in the last week.

Manny Machado – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 26th homer, and 4th in two days.  Damn, Cousin Sweatpants, Machado is on one.

Kevin Gausman – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.02.  I see his K/9 — 8.7 — and his walk rate — 2.2 — and I’m like, “Nice, he finally broke out,” then I see his ERA and I’m like, “Find and replace 2016 with 2017 and republish his sleeper post from last year.”

Kendall Graveman – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.29.  Feeling a bit desperate for streamers yesterday, I almost went with Graveman, but it felt like it was writing its own obituary for my fantasy team.

Stephen Vogt – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, hitting .270.  Yawn.  2015 called and said they want their Vogt back.

Logan Forsythe – 3-for-4, 2 runs and his 12th homer, and his 2nd homer in the last three games, hitting near-.350 in the last week.  He hit over .300 in April, June and August, but .200 in May and .196 in July.  Too bad there’s no games for the Rays in October, December and February.

Brad Miller – 2-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs, hitting .260 as he remains blistering hot, but not blistering like Rich Hill and his forget-me-never blister.

Kevin Pillar – Out with a sprained thumb.  Melvin Upton (1-for-4) and Darrell Ceciliani (0-for-3) moved into the lineup.  One guy was a top 20 outfielder prior to his trade to the Jays and one guy appears to be a career minor leaguer.  Would it surprise you if Upton was the one of the two batting lower in the order and 8th?  It’s almost like you need to fail an IQ test to manage a major league team.

Devon Travis – 4-for-5, 2 runs, hitting .304.  To continue the above point further — or farther if you have a weird fetish with girls farting — Bautista spent how long in the leadoff slot hitting around .230?  I mentioned yesterday Travis is hot.  Today, I say, pick him up already.

Edwin Encarnacion – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 31st homer, hitting .265.  Edwin gets no respect when people talk about potential AL MVP.  People say Mookie, Altuve, even his teammate, Donaldson.  Someone says what about the year Edwin is enjoying and they say, “Is he drinking wine?”  *pulls on collar*  I’ll tell ya, no respect.

R.A. Dickey – 4 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 4.61 vs. Jake Odorizzi – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA 3.82.  Every attendee of the Dickey/Odorizzi game received complimentary fromunda cheese.

2020 Draft Kit
 
  1. Eric says:
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    C none SP Kluber RP Jansen
    1B Rizzo SP Duffy RP Britton
    2B H Perez SP Hendricks RP Miller
    SS Villar SP Bundy RP E Diaz
    3B Lamb SP Musgrave RP Herrera
    OF Tomas RP T Watson
    OF Dickerson
    OF Polanco
    U Naquin
    U Jankowski

    1. Offered Scherzer, J Ramirez, Hayward for K Hendricks, Diaz, Villaar

    2 Drop any players for Free Agents: B Philips, Prado, Solarte, – C Mart, Skaggs J Guasman

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Eric: 1. Works for me 2. C-Mart should be owned… Lose Musgrove or Bundy depending on their upcoming schedules

  2. Eric says:
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    C None Sorry: Reformatted
    1B Rizzo
    2B H Perez
    SS Villar
    3B Lamb
    OF Tomas
    OF Dickerson
    OF Polanco
    U Naquin
    U Jankowski
    SP Kluber
    SP Duffy
    SP Hendricks
    SP Bundy
    SP Musgrave
    RP Jansen
    RP Britten
    RP Miller
    RP Herrera
    RP E Diaz
    RP T Watson

    1. Offered Scherzer, J Ramirez, Hayward for K Hendricks, Diaz, Villaar

    2 Pick up FAs Free Agents? Zunino, Prado, Solarte – C Mart, Skaggs J Guasman

    • FKA Ralph says:
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      @Eric: I probably wouldn’t do that trade.

      Do you not have any bench spots? I don’t see any guys I would drop for the ones you mention. Seems like you can probably stream the Musgrove slot. Also, you have a ton of closers, so might be worth trying to consolidate those guys.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Eric: See above

  3. Count de Monetball says:
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    Grey – hahaha on Gurriel/Costner…. blogging goodness there!!!

    Talk about getting some serious counting stats the last two days, never had that many SB’s in such a short amount of time…RIDICULOUS!!!
    Machado – 4R 4HR 9RBI
    Viller – 3R 1HR 1RBI 4SB
    Hamilton – 3R 6SB

    • FKA Ralph says:
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      @Count de Monetball: my h2h opponent last week had Machado, Sano, and Hamilton. Let’s just say things changed in our matchup on Sunday…ugh

  4. Steeve says:
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    Gurriel projection ROS?
    And projection in 2017?

    • Mrs.Featherbottom says:
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      @Steeve: Disappoints; 244

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Steeve: If he comes up with 6 weeks left, at best he hits 7 HRs and .340… He looks like a 17 HR, .275 guy

  5. BreadnButter says:
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    Odubal Herrera or Choo?

  6. mvplatter says:
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    Hey Grey, would you drop either Snell or Taillon for Bundy?

  7. Tony C says:
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    Grey thanks for your great baseball insights! 12 team H2H I have Baez and Hernan Perez at 2b and 3b. Drop either one for N.Walker, Tomas, B.Phillips, J. Polanco, C.Hernandez or P.Alvarez?

    • FKA Ralph says:
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      @Tony C: I think the Orioles are facing several lefties this week, so probably not the time to add Alvarez.

      I’d probably drop Baez for Tomas.

      • Scott says:
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        @FKA Ralph: Righty today, Lefty tomorrow, Righty Thursday, TBD Friday

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Tony C: Tomas over Baez

  8. Control Towers says:
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    Got Shoe and Matz as 5/6, Anderson available on the wire – add him for Matz? Gausman, Straily, Maneae, Davies all available too. What do ya think wise one?

    Thanks and as always great job.

    • Control Towers says:
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      Pomeranz available as well – Thanks!
      @Control Towers:

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Control Towers: These are streamers… Anderson over Matz if can’t stream

  9. bossmanjunior333 says:
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    10 team h2h OBP limited moves

    1) best DL stash

    Hitters: Pollock
    Pitchers: Vizcaino, Rosenthal, Street, Wheeler, Nola, Ryu

    2) Sal Perez or Grandal ROS?

    3) Who do I sit: Sano v Fiers, Franco @ Maeda, JUp @ LaBlanc

    Thanks!

  10. Clint says:
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    Which 2 would you DL stash in a Roto keeper: Story, McCuller, and/or Harvey?

    • B the Esq. says:
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      @Clint: Story and Harvey

    • Chicken Dinner says:
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      @Clint: Harvey, Story

    • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
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      @Clint: Starvey

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Clint: Story, McCullers

  11. William Hung says:
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    @Grey: After the closepocolypse, my H2H team raked in the new closers and now my staff is:

    SPs- Roark, Cole, Hendricks, Shoemaker, Duffy
    RPs- Diaz, Colome, Bedrosian, Thornburg, Kintzler, Mauerer, Watson

    I want to pick up Ottavino, but I don’t know who to drop. My lone bench bat is Schoop right now since he’s been slumping a little bit and I have Trea Turner at 2B… Do I swap Mauerer for Ottavino or do I lose the bench bat?

    • William Hung says:
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      Moot point – Estevez owner just picked up Ottavino

    • William Hung says:
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      @Grey: Sounds like Ramos is hitting the DL, so same question for Rodney – do I pick him up and drop either Mauerer or Schoop (my lone bench bat)? Or hold? The reason I’m picking on Schoop a little bit is cause my entire lineup has been slumping (only 7 HRs last week with 28 RBIs) and been losing most offensive cats since the ASB.

  12. NCPhilly says:
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    Tyler Anderson is like Chad Bettis of yesteryear, at least for fantasy purposes.

  13. DancinHomer says:
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    After the demotion to AAA, is T. Walker droppable in 12-team redraft leagues?

    • FKA Ralph says:
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      @DancinHomer: does your league count MiLB stats?

      • DancinHomer says:
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        @FKA Ralph:

        not yet…but i can bring it up to a vote.

        In all seriousness, i wasn’t sure if there was any insight into this AAA stint; just a 1-game-get-right thing, down for the rest of the season, etc…

        we’re always stashing prospects who’ve proven nothing in the bigs, so considering Walker has actually been good at times, i didn’t know if he was worth stashing or dropping.

        Cheers

        • Slimcompoop says:
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          @DancinHomer: The M’s sent him down to figure out his shizz like they did with Zunino and Aoki. They can’t afford to lose games right now. He’s safe to drop.

  14. Harold says:
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    H2h non keeper, ROS – Dahl or Lamb, position not important, just need a good hitter.

    • FKA Ralph says:
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      @Harold: in a league where they’re both available, esp non-keeper, I’d say there is no ROS. Lamb

  15. Mr. Sweat Necklace says:
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    10 team head to head

    Pickup Devon Travis for Marcell Ozuna? I already have Bryant, Harper, Napoli, Hamilton in OF and current 2B is Odor.

    I could also drop Cody Allen or AJ Ramos. I have Chapman, Jansen, Betances, Miller, and Watson.

    Should I scoop him up or let him go? And drop who?

    • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
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      @Mr. Sweat Necklace: Why do you need Travis if you have Odor

      • Mr. Sweat Necklace says:
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        @JeF WiTh 1 F: Fair question, I know a guy who covets him and I think ROS Travis might be an equal. Disagree? Also, who’s better ROS, Ozuna or Travis?

    • Mr. Sweat Necklace says:
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      @Mr. Sweat Necklace: Looks like Ramos to DL and scoop Travis for an audition.

      • Mr. Sweat Necklace says:
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        @Grey: Alright…Ottavino instead of Travis.

      • VinWins

        VinWins says:
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        @Grey: Never a mistake to pick up travis.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Vin! I’m coming to your post now to check it out… Better be some Grey praises in there!

  16. Goldie showers says:
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    Any dates/official number of IP that the Phillies are pulling the plug on Velasquez this year?? Any chance they pull what the jays did with Sanchez and maybe go to 6 man?