Don't be shellfish...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+

You: Pete Nice, did you say we should start Marcus Stroman this week at Boston and at Houston?

Jay(Wrong): You DON’T have to answer that question!

Me: I’ll answer the question! You want advice?

You: I think I’m entitled to…

Me: YOU WANT ADVICE?

You: I WANT THE TRUTH!

Me: YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

[Jay's Note: My mother always wanted me to be a lawyer...] Guys, we live in a fantasy baseball world that has risky matchups, and those risky matchups have to be taken on by writers who have to suggest two-starting inexperienced young pitchers with 95 mph-plus fastballs. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Guru? You, Sky? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly imagine. You worry about Marcus Stroman, and you curse the Blue Jays. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Stroman’s road performance, while thus far in 2014 has been kind of crappy – 17 hits in 16 IP with a 4.41 ERA and a 1.47 WHIP – will improve with time. And Stroman’s existence, while excitingly intriguing but also slightly scary, can help your fantasy team. You don’t want this advice because deep down in places you don’t talk about at baseball games and fantasy drafts, you want Stroman on that hill. You need Stroman on that hill. We use words like FIP and K/BB ratios. We use these words as the backbone of a fantasy team trying to win something: Stroman’s 3.11 FIP places him in the Top 20 of all MLB pitchers and his K/BB per 9 ratio of close to 6.00 makes him an ownable pitcher, not a streamer, according to Dr. Grey Albright PhD. You use these things as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to readers who rise and sleep under the blanket of the very information that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up Stroman, and set your lineup. Either way, I don’t give a damn who you grab off the wire for two starts this week.

You: Did you order the two-starts for Marcus Stroman?

Me: I did the job…

You: DID YOU ORDER THE TWO-STARTS FOR MARCUS STROMAN?

Me: YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID! AND HERE’S SOME MORE TWO-START PITCHERS FOR NEXT WEEK!

Must-Start

Yu Darvish (NYY, @CLE), Cole Hamels (@NYM, @WAS)

This week this tier doesn’t have the same meaning as a typical week of Two-Startapalooza. This is more “You must start these guys because they’re your aces, not because you’re guaranteed an ace-like performance.” Both pitch for crap teams and can’t guarantee one let alone two wins. Darvish has not been his dominant self of late, but his numbers are still outstanding. Hamels has been more on than he’s been all year, which is impressive given the fact that the Phillies resemble a season-defining episode of “Mama’s Family.” You know, the one where Vinton gets his hand stuck in a bowling ball outside a male strip club next to a bowling alley, and Naomi finds him while out with Aunt Fran (actually visiting the male strip club), and accuses him of being there when he really wasn’t, and then Mama shows up and beats up a striper with her granny purse. Oh that’s not really an episode? My bad.

absurdnoise animated GIF

First Tier

Madison Bumgarner (PIT, @NYM), Stephen Strasburg (@MIA, PHI), Hisashi Iwakuma (@CLE, @BAL), James Shields (MIN, @OAK), Ervin Santana (SD, @SD), Tyson Ross (STL, ATL), Marcus Stroman (@BOS, @HOU)

I’d start these guys and wouldn’t think twice about it. Apparently, when Bumgarner goes beyond the 7th inning, his hairline magically recedes and he yells “Hey! Mr. Umpire Wendelstedt. I like your hair!” Also, everyone’s sky-high on Santana this week because he has two with the Pads, but we know that this year, when you think something’s guaranteed (closer situations, playing time for hot hitters), it’s not. Except when you have two games against the Pads.

Second Tier

Jesse Chavez (@HOU, KC), Lance Lynn (@SD, MIL), Jered Weaver (@BAL, @TB), Homer Bailey (ARI, @MIA), Jake Odorizzi (MIL, LAA), Anibal Sanchez (CHW, COL), Bartolo Colon (PHI, SF), Chris Tillman (LAA, SEA), Jordan Zimmermann (@MIA, PHI), Jose Quintana (@DET, MIN), Ian Kennedy (@ATL, ATL), Kyle Lohse (@TB, @STL)

Look who’s back, Bailey’s back. And those are some pretty nice matchups. Kennedy is going to get you a ton of Ks with two dates with the Braves, but most likely not a pair of Ws.

Third Tier

A.J. Burnett (@NYM, @WAS), R.A. Dickey (@BOS, @HOU), Josh Beckett (ATL, CHC), Trevor Bauer (SEA, TEX), Aaron Harang (@LAD, @SD), Mike Leake (ARI, @MIA), Clay Buchholz (TOR, NYY), Henderson Alvarez (WAS, CIN), Francisco Liriano (@SF, @ARI)

This is the pack of cigs of starters. You can pick ’em up or start ’em if you got ’em, they’re a good time and all, but read the warning label. They might kill you.

Fourth Tier

Scott Feldman (OAK, TOR), Edwin Jackson (COL, @LAD), Jorge De La Rosa (@CHC, @DET), Chase Anderson (@CIN, PIT), Tsuyoshi Wada (COL, @LAD), Vance Worley (@SF, @ARI), Nathan Eovaldi (WAS, CIN), Phil Hughes (@KC, @CHW)

When the De La Rosa’s away (from Coors), he’s worth a play. Well, if you’re in a really, really deep league or really, really desperate. Jorge is the poster boy for this tier.

Don’t Start

Trevor Cahill (@CIN, PIT), Anthony Swarzak (@KC, @CWS), Yohan Flande (@CHC, @DET), Brad Peacock (OAK, TOR), David Phelps (@TEX, @BOS)

Don’t start, you know what I’m saying, I’ll just stop explaining, don’t start them cause they’ll hurt.

  1. Edward says:
    (link)

    Good stuff, thanks. Who’d you rather have, Chris Davis or Jay Bruce? Which is more likely to break out of their funks?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @Edward: Davis in that yard.

  2. Bobby says:
    (link)

    Is tanaka officially droppable from a 10 team redraft league? I’d hate to drop him but doesn’t look like he’ll be back back anytime soon

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @Bobby: I think if there’s another ace dude out there you can replace him with it’s worth the risk, especially if you need to move up in the standings. Otherwise maybe just a little too soon for a straight-up drop.

      • Bobby says:
        (link)

        @Pete Nice:

        Here are the available SP’s I just looked at:

        Jake arrieta

        Josh Beckett

        Jesse Hahn

        Tim hudson

        Ian Kennedy

        Mike leake

        Lance Lynn

        Zack wheeler

        Brandon McCarthy

        Jacob deGrom

        Dillon gee

        Wei- yen Chen

        • Pete Nice

          Pete Nice says:
          (link)

          @Bobby: Man I love Wheeler, deGrom and Hahn. When you’re ready to cut bait get one of those. toss up between wheels and deGrom as top choice

          • Bobby says:
            (link)

            @Pete Nice:

            Thanks for the response! Odorozzi is available too.

            I may wait a week to hear more on tanaka I have a feeling they will still be there

            I also have (we start 3)

            Strasberg

            Cueto

            Mad bum

            Bench- latos, tanaka

            • Pete Nice

              Pete Nice says:
              (link)

              @Bobby: yea odor is good too.

              • osnam says:
                (link)

                @Pete Nice: hasn’t Arrrieta been the best out of that group? Why not him over the other 2?

      • Mike says:
        (link)

        @Pete Nice: @Pete Nice:

        Pete,

        I did drop him for Alex Wood – I do not remember anyone pitching well after plasma injections and not eventually getting the TJ surgery. Is there even an example?

        Thanks…

        Mike.

        • Pete Nice

          Pete Nice says:
          (link)

          @Mike: I’m not optimistic about him coming back either, I’m just saying if I didn’t have to drop him just yet I wouldn’t. getting close to might as well drop, go head and drop status

  3. Tom says:
    (link)

    Can I get the movie rights?

    Right Rank? (Sorted by Razzball/Steamer $):
    Kennedy (14.4),
    Minor (10.8),
    Lincecum (9.7),
    Hammel (5.6),
    Odorizzi (5.0),
    Stroman (4.7),
    McCarthy (1.0).

    Should McCarthy be higher with great peripherals and use of his cutter?

    Will Stroman last until the end of my playoffs (9/21)?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @Tom: I would go Kennedy, Odorizzi, Stroman, McCarthy, Minor, Lincecum, Hammel.

      Notes: Linecum is too unreliable, Hammel’s value dips in the American League (could get more W’s being on Oakland but his ERA and WHIP will go up facing tougher hitting), and you’re right about McCarthy. As far as Stroman, I read where they said before the season that there wouldn’t be a limit, and even on the conjecture that 180 is the mythical limit, he wouldn’t get there until later on in the year. I’m not concerned about it.

      • Tom says:
        (link)

        @Pete Nice: Thanks! Looking ahead to a HUGE H2H matchup for me in August, which 2 pitching matchups would you prefer the most:

        Hammel @ATL
        Lincecum vPHI
        Odorizzi @TEX
        Stroman @CHW

        • Pete Nice

          Pete Nice says:
          (link)

          @Tom: Stro and Lincecum. Phils are gonna get hammered out west.

  4. pwire says:
    (link)

    Which side do you like in this trade?
    Ryu, K.Jansen, C.Santana for Encarnacion, R.Martin, Buehrle

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @pwire: Ryu side. Edwin had a set back and I don’t like the other parts on that side at all.

  5. J Boy says:
    (link)

    Should Haren even be rostered at this point? Feel like he’s living off name value and could be on his way out of the rotation.

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @J Boy: yea Dodgers are even skipping him next time. Matt Shoemaker has been smoking, and defied the Stream-o-nator by dominating the Tigers tonight, yet is only 9 percent owned in Yahoo. I’d rather have him.

  6. Spammer Jay says:
    (link)

    hilarious!

  7. David says:
    (link)

    Keeper league, who ya got, C. Davis, or Braun? Thanks.

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @David: I hate Braun and I’m really into Davis. I’d probably be happier if I had Davis on my team just as a baseball fan. But you gotta go Braun. Despite being a mega douche he puts up some amazing numbers and I could see him continuing to do it up until 35-36.

  8. Ante GALIC says:
    (link)

    Hey Pete!

    Gr8 stuff, man! Question..have Uehara, Street and Doolittle rostered, with JV on waivers. Would you trade Uehara and Kazmir (can’t believe he’s still going) to get MadBum? I’d then pick up JV if he was still on the WW making the trade actually MadBum and JV for Uehara and Kazmir. I know Street is prolly one INN away from an injury and can’t believe that he’s still pitching. Thinking about the playoffs as well, LAD and SF looking to go prolly until the end for 1st place in the NL West so MadBum will pitch until the end of the regular season for sure making him more valuable. On the flip side, OAK may rest Kazmir after OAK wins the AL West by mid-September though LAA may have something to say about that.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @Ante GALIC: If you think Street is toast and you can and are punting saves by dealing Uehara then that sounds good. But if your team is humming along and you need that mix of saves and k’s and era that your closers and Kaz are giving you I dunno if I’d mess with the formula.

      • Ante GALIC says:
        (link)

        @Pete Nice: Thanks, Pete! I’ll stand pat for the moment. If Kazmir does go down, I can always find the hottest SP available. If Street goes down, will not be able to find something remotely similar. So am keeping all 3 and will go with the team most likely to win. Uehara might even be traded before the deadline.

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Pete Nice

          Pete Nice says:
          (link)

          @Ante GALIC: I would just try not to project ahead on a team or a player unless we’re talking about a dude on an innings limit. Bum has been pitching ace-ish and like I said, if you don’t need to win saves, it’s a good deal.

  9. Pete: That was hilarious, and extremely well written. Paying homage to a classic Nicholson scene is always in order! Stroman’s performance last outing helped win me the week.

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @Diamond Doug: Thanks! I’m buying in on Stroman. Even though these aren’t the toughest opponents it’ll be interesting to see if he can dominate on the road.

  10. Buge hoobs says:
    (link)

    With his move, does peavy become ownable in 10 team format?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @Buge hoobs: I don’t think so. Change of scenery and move to that park can help but I see it as a wait and see sitch

  11. Moscowitz says:
    (link)

    I like Stromans stuff and would like to add him in a H2H, 8 team league. This is a shallow league though and you have to drop quality pitchers to get him. This is my staff: Anibal, Wood, Bailey, Kazmir, Teheran, Gray, Arrieta. Do you see anyone who you would like to replace with Stroman?

    Thanks

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @Moscowitz: ah I dunno if I can make that argument just yet. if he keeps it up vs BOS and HOU this week I would entertain dumping Wood or Homer for him

    • Mordacious Levator says:
      (link)

      @Moscowitz: this is about the only kind of league that i would think stroman is available in. maybe shallow 10 teamers also.

  12. Jed says:
    (link)

    Do you trust Ervin Santana this week? Look what the pads did to Alex wood a couple days ago, just didn’t know if you trust him or could it be a trap week?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @Jed: he’s a good bet but nothing’s a lock right? he’s worth a two start for sure

      • Jed says:
        (link)

        @Pete Nice:

        Of course nothing in fantasy is a lock, lol I’ve learned that w/ my other pitchers & lackey once gave me 1 point

  13. Connor says:
    (link)

    Got offered Cano and David Wright for my Altuve and Beltre, which side would you want?

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @Connor: Altuve side

  14. Kyle says:
    (link)

    Is it alright to throw Stroman and Lohse and not pitch Cliff Lee this week? League locks on Monday.

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @Kyle: sounds good to me

  15. JJ says:
    (link)

    Hey Pete,

    Would you drop anyone from this pitching staff for Marcus Stroman?
    12 team H2H 5X5 keeper league(we keep 10)

    M.BUMGARNER
    C.KLUBER
    C.HAMELS
    J.SAMARDZJIYA(no idea on spelling)
    G.COLE
    A.CASHNER
    J.ODORIZZI
    T.ROSS
    A.CHAPMAN
    F.RODNEY
    J.MEJIA
    N.FELIZ

    Thanks

    • Pete Nice

      Pete Nice says:
      (link)

      @JJ: maybe Odor but only if Stro dominates in Beantown.

Comments are closed.