So, how’s everyone holding up without baseball every day? I don’t know what to do with myself! Yesterday I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about Marcus Stroman for 2018. Then I sobbed into a cheddar scone until someone asked me to leave. We’ve gone over the final 2017 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. This is different than Final Fantasy rankings where you rank Final Fantasy 1 thru Final Fantasy 15. That’s hardcore nerd shizz! This is simply fantasy baseball, we’re softcore nerds like Emmanuelle is to porn. So, there’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left. You’re welcome. I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking next about 2018 rookies. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21. Chase Anderson – You can look at the next few guys like I didn’t rank them so I must be dumb, but no one ranked them, and I prefer to look at these unranked guys as another sign that you shouldn’t draft starters high. There’s a ton of them to be had in almost all leagues. Chase Anderson went for about $2 in 12-team NL-Only leagues. Don’t tell me you couldn’t have grabbed him off waivers in all but the deepest of leagues. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 12-4/2.74/1.09/133
22. Charlie Morton – At 26 years old, Morton had a 5.8 K/9 and a 6.15 ERA, averaging a 91 MPH fastball. Oh, that was in 2008. Last year at 33 years old, he had a 10 K/9, 3.62 ERA with a 95 MPH fastball. Yup, makes sense. *clears desk, slams head into desk* Charlie Morton is aging better than Sophia Loren. By the time, Charlie Morton is 78 years old he will be throwing 147 MPH. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 14-7/3.62/1.19/163
23. Jimmy Nelson – Chase Anderson? Still kinda gizzarbage. Morton and Nelson? They’ve become different, better pitchers this year. Nelson is especially interesting because he’s only 28 years old. He had a 10.2 K/9, 2.5 BB/9, 3.15 xFIP and an unlucky .340 BABIP. If you go by xFIP, Nelson was the 5th best starter; if you go by K/9, he was the tenth best starter; he was the 4th best starter for xFIP and K/9. Okay, belaboring a bit, but Nelson’s peripherals say he was easily a top ten starter. If he had, say, 17 wins, he would’ve been in the top 10 for fantasy too, and you can’t rely on wins. To further the jazz hands in his direction, he had the 18th best percentage for pitches batters swing at outside the zone; 17th best swinging strike percentage and the 19th lowest percentage of pitches hit outside the strike zone (different than just swung at). Overall, Nelson’s made a friend in Grey. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 12-6/3.49/1.25/199
24. Jake Arrieta – I debated whether or not to say my calling of Arrieta as overrated was a success or failure, but I’m leaning success. First, he ended way lower in the recaps than he was projected for in the preseason. Second, his ERA went from 3.10 to 3.53 from last year to this year. Third, there’s no third. Fourth, in the schmohawk post last preseason, I said, “…if we’re drafting him top 30 overall. We’re looking for a top five starter. That he won’t be.” And that’s me quoting me! That’s succinctly accurate. Fifth, I was worried about his velocity in that post, and it continued to decline. Sixth, he had a 4.11 xFIP, which is as bad as when he wasn’t good on the O’s. Seventh, this Arrietain’ta slam dunk success of a failure. Preseason Rank #6, 2017 Projections: 17-10/2.98/1.06/196, Final Numbers: 14-10/3.53/1.22/163
25. Aaron Nola – His first two years are so stereotypical for a young pitcher that is about to break out in his 3rd season it should be the case example for grad students at the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston. Oral arguments about his first two years will lead to great make-up sex in the third year. Preseason Rank #29, 2017 Projections: 10-11/3.46/1.21/161, Final Numbers: 12-11/3.54/1.21/184
26. Yu Darvish – The good news, he wasn’t as bad as he felt for most of the year. The bad news, he wasn’t that much better. His Ks went down; he had his worst career xFIP; his homers were up; he wasn’t that unlucky; semi-colons are fun. At 31 years old, he can likely stay in last year’s realm for another couple of years, but the days of a 11.5+ K/9 are only closer in the rearview mirror. Preseason Rank #10, 2017 Projections: 15-5/3.04/1.15/239, Final Numbers: 10-12/3.86/1.16/209
27. Trevor Bauer – A Tale of Two Halfs (Halves?). They were the best of times (3.01 ERA in 2nd half), they were the worst of times (5.24 ERA in 1st half), and they were just unexplainably awesome times (2.93 xFIP in high leverage situations). At 26 years old, Bauer appears to have come of age and is scaring the Dickens out of hitters. Preseason Rank #84, 2017 Projections: 11-12/4.01/1.33/163, Final Numbers: 17-9/4.19/1.37/196
28. Chris Archer – His K/9 was 11.2 (5th best for starters) and only a 2.7 BB/9, so Archer’s aim is true. Did someone say Matt Allahson? Preseason Rank #13, 2017 Projections: 13-12/3.33/1.17/225, Final Numbers: 10-12/4.07/1.26/249
29. Marcus Stroman – Without innings listed, it’s hard to recognize how yawnstipating Stroman’s season was. He had a 7.3 K/9, and 164 Ks in 201 IP. That’s less Ks than Godley who had 46 less innings. Morton only had one less K than Stroman and he had 64 less innings. You could say Stroman came up short, and you’d be right in an array of ways. Preseason Rank #31, 2017 Projections: 12-8/3.55/1.24/184, Final Numbers: 13-9/3.09/1.31/164
30. Jose Quintana – His season stats made me guffaw. For years, he was the unexciting number two starter that had a high-7 K/9, low-2 BB/9 and a 3.30-ish ERA. This year doode hit the third rail of “Hold onto your hat.” A 9.9 K/9, 4.15 ERA and a near-3 BB/9. He’s like the kid who entered his senior year of high school with a whole new wardrobe, hairstyle and worked out all summer, i.e., went from total geek to totally chic, then spiraled out of control when the cool kids realize he paid the hot girl to be his girlfriend. Preseason Rank #21, 2017 Projections: 14-9/3.35/1.20/181, Final Numbers: 11-11/4.15/1.22/207
31. Mike Clevinger – He had 121 2/3 IP, and appeared six times as a reliever, while starting 21 games, so I included him, but it’s a fair time to point out there were 14 RPs higher than him on the Player Rater. Also, Clevinger’s ERA from May 1st until August 30th was 4.05 in 65 IP. His 0.99 ERA in September thru 27 1/3 IP really made a huge difference in his year. Though, it’s also fair to point out, his starter ERA was 2.84 in 114 IP vs. 7.04 as a reliever in 7 2/3 IP. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 12-6/3.11/1.25/137
32. Jose Berrios – He ended up unranked in the preseason, but I originally had him ranked at 86th overall with a 4.12 ERA, when I thought he would break camp with the club. When he didn’t, I removed him. Oopsie, or rather, Berrioopsie. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 14-8/3.89/1.23/139
33. Zack Godley – Thinking of Scherzer and Bauer, how long until the Diamondbacks unload Godley for some spare parts? Hey, at least Edwin Jackson, who they acquired for Scherzer, had a good season. Unfortch, it was for the Nats. The Diamondbacks this year could’ve had Bauer, Scherzer and Didi. Literally, the three things they need. Hey, at least Dave Stewart didn’t trade Robbie Ray for an undisclosed amount of Cashner. “If he changes the spelling of his name to $ner, I’ll take him.” That’s Dave Stewart negotiating. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 8-9/3.37/1.14/165
34. Lance Lynn – Not 100% sure why I projected Lynn for only 120 IP. I can guess it’s because he was returning from Tommy John surgery, and he wasn’t sure about returning in April. C’est la vie, as they say in the France part of Epcot. Preseason Rank #66, 2017 Projections: 9-5/3.65/1.31/109, Final Numbers: 11-5/3.43/1.23/153
35. Jeff Samardzija – Since you know the ulcer that S!^&#&%#$ presents, let’s instead list some of the starters that didn’t make this top 40: Sonny Gray (!), Jon Lester, McCullers, Danny Salazar, Hendricks, Wacha, Taijuan, Hamels, Bumgarner and Porcello. Cashner actually finished above Porcello (and Bumgarner). Samardzija was the 35th best starter, Cueto was the 96th best. Just chew on that like your dog chews on his flea-infested ass. Preseason Rank #54, 2017 Projections: 12-10/3.69/1.24/163, Final Numbers: 9-15/4.42/1.14/205
36. Jason Vargas – Here’s one problem with weighing too much on previous year’s rankings. You’re gonna see Vargas ranked here and think he should be at least the 50th best starter drafted next year, and I’m not sure if he’ll even be as good as the top 100th. I mean, the 18 wins were nice, but, wow, his other stats were kinda barf. And not fun barf like John Candy in Spaceballs or when you ralph on a roller coaster. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 18-11/4.16/1.33/134
37. Kenta Maeda – Guys and five girl readers, something you might be thinking: there were only 34 top starters this year. You wouldn’t be wrong. 35-40 on this list is ugly. Preseason Rank #18, 2017 Projections: 15-7/3.39/1.13/198, Final Numbers: 13-6/4.22/1.15/140
38. Dylan Bundy – I went back to look at the 2016 final top 40 starters to see if there this many bleh starters in the top 40. Short answer is, no way. Shorter still, Altuve. Only one starter had a 4+ ERA in the top 40 and that was Archer with 233 Ks ranked 40th overall. Here, the 27th best starter had a 4+ ERA. Wow, starters were a mess last year. Continued in next blurb… Preseason Rank #81, 2017 Projections: 11-9/3.91/1.35/130, Final Numbers: 13-9/4.24/1.20/152
39. Gerrit Cole – He had a 4.43 ERA 1st half and a 5.50 ERA in September, and he’s a top 40 starter? He was only great for one month, and passable for two months! Continued in final blurb… Preseason Rank #20, 2017 Projections: 15-10/3.45/1.14/188, Final Numbers: 12-12/4.26/1.25/196
40. Masahiro Tanaka – He’s a top 40 starter with a 4.74 ERA! Hahahahahaha–Breathe, Grey! Goddamnit, breathe! Wow, I almost lost my shizz there. *sits as an intern brings me a glass of warm milk* Thank you, intern. It wasn’t like Tanaka had a ton of wins supplementing that ERA either. The state of pitching right now makes me think avoid all starters, just go with the Stream-o-Nator and do the “Sosa finger kiss towards the sky” for good luck. Preseason Rank #23, 2017 Projections: 13-10/3.47/1.13/172, Final Numbers: 13-12/4.74/1.24/194
