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What a great weekend to honor the memories of those who have fallen for our benefit, allowing us to be here, to freely enjoy even as simple a pleasure in life as daily fantasy sports.

Today we are enjoying a ten game Main Slate on FanDuel, and hopefully some nice weather and even nicer company. Let’s get to it today; let’s fire up our grills and throw on some Motown Soul in anticipation of Zack Wheeler ($9,500) making Detroit look like Mitch Ryder’s senior softball league. Or at least trying to – we should hedge our bets, this is not a sure thing.  Facing Detroit has generally been very positive for opposing pitching this season. They have the second fewest runs scored and home runs to this point, and are striking out at a rate well above league average. Even though the hitting conditions in Queens are some of the more favorable today, Wheeler should still flirt with double digit strikeouts.

Let’s give it our all today. Play with honor, commitment, and make it a Memorial Day weekend to memorialize by taking down a tournament.

Keep reading for thoughts about today’s best picks.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Welcome to Friday homies. Another week over and Memorial Day BBQs to look forward to over the weekend. Before we jump to the celebrating (shamefully puts fourth beer back into fridge), let’s take a look at what FanDuel has us set up for. As is the norm on Fridays, FanDuel has a massive 14-game main slate. After careful analysis (definitely not a first look with a mild amount of research, shut up!), I’ll be locking Noah Syndergaard ($10,600) into my cash game lineup. Syndergaard has disappointed some in the early season and there are a couple of troubling numbers, including his swinging strike rate being down and his home run rate being up. I’m willing to overlook these issues and instead focusing on his opponent’s issues, makes playing Syndergaard much easier. The Tigers have the second worst wOBA and ISO in the league against right-handed pitching to go along with a 26.2% K%, which is good for fourth worst. Syndergaard should face seven righties plus the pitcher spot today. Let’s take a look at the rest of FanDuel’s slate.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Grey Albright threw two innings on opening day. Sweat, and other mysterious bodily fluids, dripped from Grey’s brow; he was gassed. Albright didn’t wait for Rudy to call to the pen, Grey signaled himself for the lefty, Donkey Teeth, to enter the fold. Fantasy Master Lothario is still knocking some of the spring rust off, just like Chis Sale, so you’re stuck with Donkey Teeth telling you tales of Paul Goldschmidt’s monster 4-for-5 night with 3 homers & 5 RBIs in only the second game of his Cardinals career. Truth be told, Dan Pants will be back to take over this column next Friday, since Friday is slinging night for Grey, Cougs, and Donkey Teeth. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”397243″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 1″]

This draft is a crock pot vs. a microwave.  A love sesh vs. a ‘hold the moan.’  A nature hike vs. “I’m gonna sit in the car as we drive past some mountains.”  Guys and five girl readers, it’s a slow draft.  This slow draft took about eighteen days, 3 hours, four minutes and–okay, only a lunatic counts seconds.  Not almost 18 days of straight drafting, mind you.  I don’t need to ice my clicky finger.  It’s five minutes of drafting, twelve hours of waiting.  It does allow you to second-guess your picks.  Actually, more like triple-guess.  (Who are we kidding, you quadruple-guess, fiveruple-guess, sextruple-guess, ochocinco-guess your picks.) For those not in the know, it’s a weekly, 15-team, two-catcher league that lasts for 50 rounds and there’s no waivers.  Anyway, here’s my NFBC draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While Grey was off gallivanting in Jackson’s Hole sipping hot toddies and drafting his AL-Only team from heated chair lifts, I spent my day at a shady Illinois car dealership drafting my AL-Only team in that same league while getting fleeced on a used car. After I spent $35 on The Messiah, Adalberto Mondesi, Grey cracked, “I hope you get a better deal on that car than you got on Mondesi!” Oh real funny, Grey! That’s rich coming from the guy who spent $10 on Bryce Harper in an AL-Only league!

Nevertheless, my AL team took a turn for the worse when the car dealer tried to tack a $399 “Dealer Inventory Fee” onto the negotiated sale price. And that’s the story of how I spent $3 on Daniel Mengden and $1 on Chad Pinder in the all-important late stages of an AL-Only auction with the titans of the industry. Fortunately, our friend Scott White of CBS gave ya boy Donkey Teeth one more shot at the glory-hole in the NL-Only version of the same league. And this time, I wouldn’t be preoccupied disputing undisclosed dealer inventory fees while being stuck with auto-nominated Chad Pinders. Anyway, here’s my 12-team NL-Only team and the tale of how I left Grey lusting after my Wong, again:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What an absolute trip this offseason has been, huh?  Emphasis on ‘has been,’ and hyphenated.  And trip as in “catch one’s foot on something and stumble or fall or other Macy Gray lyrics.”  And ‘trip’ might actually be a misspelling of ‘drip.’  To recap, what an absolute drip this offseason has-been, huh?  Players have already reported and Manny Machado is only now signing and Bryce Harper still hasn’t, said the man who likes to point out the obvious.  Obvious Man continued, “I need oxygen to breathe.”  Shut up, Obvious Man!  Yesterday, the Padres signed Manny Machado to a 10-year, $300 million contract.  We should’ve seen this coming all along.  After all, San Diego is the world’s most languid city.  Also, remember all those people saying Machado would sign with the White Sox, due to Yonder Alonso signing there and being his brother-in-law?  I mean, a guy doesn’t want to be with his in-laws? No kidding!

Now Machado will be in the cozy position of hitting between Ian Kinsler and Eric Hosmer.  Does he just prefer to hit in garbage lineups?  Was Balty-more (how I say it) not bad enough for him?  What an absolute shizzshow this 1st round has become.  In the top 10 for 2019 fantasy baseball, I’ve moved Machado down to another tier as the 2nd tier in the top 10 becomes increasingly barren.  “Acuña or Trea Turner or die,” as my bumper sticker I’m manufacturing says.  Petco isn’t the ‘terrible’ park everyone has made it out to be in past years, i.e. Petco isn’t for the birds and is not a dog of a park or–Fill in your own damn animal pun!  It’s still makes me shudder hard at thinking of hitting in front of Hosmer, but, as previously mentioned on the aforementioned tip, hitting in the Orioles’ lineup wasn’t amazing either and Machado did fine for many years.  I did lower his projections in the top 10, and I’m now way more tentative on him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw for fantasy baseball this offseason:

PSYCH!  Before getting into the post, we have an announcement:

Razzball Introduces An Ad-Free Option

I know, I know, I know, but you love seeing ads for “Kate Hudson Beauty Secrets” that then lead you to a free Amazon gift card which is actually an Eastern European man living in Nigeria who managed to clone your DNA from your IP address and just slept with your wife using the Amazon Gift Card Clone, who goes by the name, Tommy.  I love those ads too!  They are terrific!  However, and this is going to come as a shock to some of you, there’s people who don’t appreciate the IP clone illegal download software ads that sleep with your wife.  I know, shocker!  For those people, Razzball is introducing an ad-free option.  As Rudy tells me, direct people to the Tools Subscription page and they can figure it out from there.  I have my doubts, but what better way to prove me wrong?  The ad-free subscription runs for 250 days — a Jewish calendar year! — and is only for one sport.  There is now a Log In in the top menu for people too, so if you’re a subscriber, there’s no more need to email Rudy or I asking, “Hey, I bought the subscriptions and I can’t figure out where to log in?  Is it at the log in page?”  Wait until we introduce the “Grey comes to your house and just operates your computer for you” option.  Anyway, here’s the roundup:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s crunch-time, readers, as we’re down to a number of 2018 major league baseball games left that we can count on our fingers and toes. If you’re still in the pennant hunt in an NL-only or AL-league, there’s probably at least one category where just a few RBI or a couple steals could affect your team’s status in terms of gaining or losing a point or two, and ultimately make a difference in your league’s final standings. This week we’ll look at hitters that could potentially help deep-leaguers with a few of those counting stats over the next two and a half weeks. Everyone on this list is less than 10% owned in CBS leagues, and while many of them are playing sporadically at best, most of them have actually been more productive than many of their shallow-league brethren lately. You never know who might hit that grand slam or steal those two bags on the second to last day of the season that put your team over the top!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”291060″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 24″]

In my Blake Snell sleeper post, my prescience was like the exact opposite of science applied by flat earthers around the world.  Look out the plane window and it’s flat, but pull further back it’s round.  In reverse, if you pull out for enough, you see I wrote a sleeper post for Blake Snell — great! — but if you zoom in closer you see everything I said in that post was far from accurate.  Good from 30,000 feet, less from Altuve’s distance.  I talked up Chris Archer and Jake Faria.  Said Jose De Leon is ready!   Only one I didn’t like was Nathan Eovaldi, who actually was solid.  I went over how Snell could be great, but this good?  Puh-leaze.  Snell and his extended family didn’t think he’d be breathing down a sub-2 ERA in the middle of September.   Most accurate thing I said, “At 25 years of age and in his third major league season while primed for his first full year of innings, is about the best time to get in on him figuring it out.  After 2018, Snell is going to be a known top 20 starter and you’ll never get him cheap again.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Yesterday, Blake Snell went 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners (1 Hit), 9 Ks, ERA at 2.03.  In the AL East!  Actually, my ‘accurate’ quote might not be accurate enough, I should’ve said Blake Snell will be a top 5-10 starter in 2019 fantasy baseball.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[brid autoplay=”true” video=”288085″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Buy Sell Hold Week 23″]

Real baseball is weird.  Real sportswriters are even weirder.  From Sportsnet.ca, “Donaldson trade marks abrupt split from Blue Jays after promising start.”  Abrupt?  Maybe I’m just heartless, but why would the Blue Jays be salty about getting rid of Josh Donaldson?  If he would’ve stayed with the club, he could’ve opted into a $18 million contract and been back next year in Toronto insanely overpaid and blocking Vladimir Guerrero Jr.  Then, from Sportsnet.ca, “But trading the star third baseman and cash to the Cleveland Indians, who visit Toronto next week, of all places?  Even the New York Yankees would have been a more palatable destination.”  I’m sorry, what?  Why are the Indians worse than the Yankees?  Because Edwin is there?  Because the Jays’ GM used to be in Cleveland?  Is this just bad writing?  Or is real baseball just odd.  I seriously have no idea.  Elsewhere, other sportswriters were talking about what a great move this was.  No wonder people come here and get floored when I say something about a guy like Josh Donaldson being overrated.  They’re being lied to everywhere else.  This was not a great move by the Indians.  Donaldson can’t stay healthy and has no place to play.  Maybe he can give them a solid at-bat off the bench, but Curtis Granderson might’ve been able to do that too.  Don’t worry, will get to him and all the other September roster news.  As they say at gang initiation, after the jump.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Given that I’m here to give you my cash game picks for FanDuel (with some references to GPPs where appropriate), I’m never going to tell someone not to play FanDuel on a given day. That said, when the top pitchers on a slate are Clay Buchholz, Jon Gray (facing a good Atlanta team) and Sam Gaviglio (and this might be a rain game), I’m really not sure there’s really any reason to be playing cash. If you truly believe one of those three is way ahead of the other two today, then by all means, play cash, because those are the three top pitchers and if you think one of them is way ahead of the other two, that’s your edge in cash games. If, like me, you think it’s just an RNG dart throw between those 3, then the volatility of the pitchers make the cash game viability of this slate zero. It’s still a GPP-able slate, so for you GPP players, I’d try to make the choice between those 3 based on expected ownership (fading the chalkiest of the three) – as of right now my guess is Buchholz is the chalk of the 3 but I’m not a GPP-ownership-expert and you may think it’s someone else.

On to the picks…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Friday everybody!  We have a massive 15 games slate on FanDuel, which includes the works.  Coors, multiple aces, and huge implied team totals, so let’s see if we can fit it all in!  Let us begin our Friday by raising a glass for the 2nd greatest 90s lip-syncers (Milli Vanilli is the GOAT, don’t DM me) out there, C&C Music Factory, that made the greatest proclamation of all time, “Everybody Dance Now”!!!  CC Sabathia comes in at $7,800 and faces the Royals, who have been awful vs LHPs.  Sabathia is certainly not a sexy play on a day that has Sale, Scherzer, and Kershaw, but the wily veteran should be a safe play and is cheap enough that you’ll be able to fit in some game changing bats.  Sabathia has been great at limiting hard contact this year and as a -280 favorite according to Vegas, he should be in line for a really nice day.  Let’s take a look at some of my other favorite plays for the day.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

 [brid autoplay=”true” video=”258571″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 13″]

At least they weren’t no-hit, that’s what I always say.  Then I follow it with #getstrapped or whatever 50 Cent says now.  This is not going to be out on a limb or anything, but celebrities were better when we had no idea what they were thinking.  Imagine Liberace on Twitter in the 1950’s, “YAASSS girl, I am here for this, sippin’ my tea.”  Yo, Liberace, sure YAASSS Girl’s a lot for a guy who was quoted in the Confidential as saying, “Mature Women Are Best: TV’s Top Pianist Reveals What Kind of Woman He’d Marry.”  Maybe that would’ve been awesome.  I don’t know, I’m not a time traveler.  However, if I were, I would’ve made sure everyone read my Blake Snell sleeper (segue, snitches!).  (Isn’t it weird present and past tense read are the same?  Am I the only one that never guesses right?  Any hoo!)  Tis true that I didn’t even expect Snell to be this dominant.  Yesterday, he went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 4 walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.31.  He has the 7th best ERA, 19th best strikeout rate (10), 30th best xFIP (3.64), 13th best swinging strike rate (13) and 8th worst contact rates (71.2%).  Super shorthand, if you’re throwing pitches and hitters are not making contact, you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.  Hard to imagine his ERA staying quite that low all year, but he has made the jump to a top 15 starter, and maybe higher.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?