George Springer will miss six weeks with a broken wrist.  I find in these times of sadness it’s best to turn to the ones you love, your family.  But it’s also important to not forget why you were sad either, so you don’t lose perspective.  So print out pictures of Springer’s face and paste them to your wife, kids and dog’s faces.  See, aren’t you glad you have family.  It’s that kind of moral support that one needs at a time like this.  If they don’t allow you to paste pictures on their face, you can leave your family or paste it on their faces while they’re asleep.  Fun Fact!  I always fall asleep during the movie While You Were Sleeping.  Power of suggestion?  Perhaps.  This is obviously terrible news for Springer’s owners, and I wouldn’t get too cutesy with trying to trade for him on the cheap in redraft leagues.  Wrist injuries can be tricky to rock around, it’s right on time, they’re tricky.  Oh, oh, oh, they’re tricky!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jon Jay – Hit the DL.  On a semi-related note, the Cardinals fired their scouting director, who was involved with the hacking of the Astros’ database.  No one’s quite sure how it was hacked, and I’m by no means a PI, though I do look like Magnum PI, but the scouting director’s name is Chris CORREA!  Hello!  Look at the Astros shortstop’s last name!

Melvin Upton – 2-for-6 as he now leads off.  Oh, Padres.  Oh, sweet, harmless, dopey Padres.  I think it would actually help some major league managers to play fantasy baseball.  If you wouldn’t own the guy in a mixed league, you don’t bat him leadoff!

Yangervis Solarte – 1-for-3 and his 3rd homer.  He hit fifth yesterday.  We should take bets for how long it takes Padres manager, Pat Murphy, to figure out Solarte is their leadoff man.

Tyson Ross – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners (5 BBs), 6 Ks.  It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to tell you five walks to six Ks, and how he almost has as many walks this year as all of last year indicates something is wrong with him.

Manuel Banuelos – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 7 Ks, but left with a cramp.  He looked solid prior to the cramping.  Three things here, A) Not sure how serious the cramping is.  B) Not sure if he’s staying in the rotation.  C) There’s no C.  I’d definitely grab him in leagues deeper than 14-team mixed, but, for now, he’s a wait-and-see in most mixed leagues.

Freddie Freeman – Won’t return until after the All-Star break.  Braves will continue to go with Terdoslavich, the Lithuanian bathroom.

Max Scherzer – 8 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA up to 1.82.  What a bum!  By the by, his WHIP is 0.78 and he has 139 Ks in 118 2/3 IP.  He’s on pace for 278 Ks.  I love the halfway mark.

Matt Boyd – 0 IP, 7 ER.  I bet Flavor Flav wishes he didn’t stream him.  “Yeah, Boyd!”

Kevin Pillar – 4-for-5, 1 run, hitting .285.  On our Player Rater, Pillar is nearly a top 20 outfielder.  For all major league outfielders.   Both leagues.  Every single outfielder.  He’s been close to as valuable as McCutchen.  Yup.

Russell Martin – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 12th homer.  Funny thing (not funny), if you draft him next year, he’ll be garbage. But if you don’t draft him, he’ll be great.  Guaranteed.

Brock Holt – 4-for-6, 1 run and his 5th steal.  Also, in this game, Mookie Betts went 3-for-6, 1 run, 2 RBIs with his 13th steal, and Xander Bogaerts went 4-for-6, 1 run, 2 RBIs.  This shows you that all the pregame work the Red Sox hitters were doing against the Red Sox pitchers has paid off!

David Ortiz – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 14th homer.  I watched the Nina Simone documentary the other night, and I have to say, Ortiz did a great job playing Simone.

Hanley Ramirez – 1-for-5 and his 16th homer.  Sure glad he came back from his injury early.  Of course, it was still too late for my weekly leagues.  Sonavabench!

Alejandro De Aza – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs.  Yeah, he will be in this afternoon’s Buy column.  Mos Def.

Trevor CahillDodgers signed the righty who had a 7.52 ERA this year with the Braves.  Cahill will now take tickets at Gate 4B.

Corey Kluber – 8 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 14 Ks.  Only three wins on the year despite a top five FIP.  They shouldn’t have trusted the actress who played the owner from Major League to write the incentive clauses in his contract.

Mike Aviles – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 4th homer.  Aviles is also Spanish for ‘”evil bird” so I wouldn’t mess with him.

Matt Moore –  4 2/3 IP, 4 ER as he returned from the DL.  That’s like waiting for your order to get brought to your table, but instead of the filet mignon they bring you a leather shoe.  I’ve only said about two trillion dozen times that I don’t trust pitches returning from injury, especially not serious injuries.  Compounding that, Moore’s not all that great to begin with.

Evan Longoria – 1-for-4, 1 run and his 2nd steal.  Whenever I get anything from Longoria, I feel like someone’s going to come to my door and punch me in the nose.  Like there’s gotta be a karmic catch.

Grady Sizemore – 2-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs and his 1st steal.  Then I realize Longoria is giving less than Grady Sizemore, so that is the karmic catch.

Miguel Montero – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer, hitting .245.  So you should’ve drafted him instead of Yan Gomes, Lucroy, Wieters, Mesoraco, Zunino, Molina, Rosario, d’Arnaud.  No one could’ve seen that coming.  Except everyone who’s ever read this site.

Jake Arrieta – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.80 vs. Jacob deGrom 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA up to 2.30.  Point-five separating these two guys in ERA right now, but I have five over-the-internet dollars that you’ll never collect that says they’ll both be within 0.15 of each other in ERA by season’s end.  They just feel nearly identical.

Kevin Gausman – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Damn, that makes me want to do a twerk split.  It’s been a while that Showalter was jerking him around, so I feel like I need to talk a bit about him.  He averages close to 96 MPH on his fastball.  That would put him around the major league leader for starters.  Yeah, velocity’s not the end all, but it’s good.  Then you have his pedigree, he was the 4th player selected overall in 2012.  At some point, he will be in the discussion for top 20 starters in all of baseball.  Not now, but maybe soon.  He had a 3.57 ERA in 113 1/3 IP last year, he could easily be better this year.  I like him a lot.

Yovani Gallardo – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA down to 2.56, and has his scoreless streak up to 29 1/3 IP.  Orel Hershiser pffts.  You guys and five girls should play a game, try to see when I choose Yovani between two pitchers.  Bartolo or Yovani?  That sounds like a matchups thing.

Neil Walker – 4-for-5, 3 RBIs, and is now 8 for his last 11 with two homers, a steal, six RBIs and he was moved down in the order yesterday to seventh.  Oh.  Huh?  With that Walker snafu aside, I don’t like Walker, but even I would grab him if he were available in my league.

Francisco Liriano – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA down to 2.99.  He’s another guy that gets no respect at all.  Similar to Burnett.  And Walker.  And Harrison.  And Marte.  And…Hey, wait a minute, these guys have something in common.  They’re all–*a fly buzzes past head*  Hmm, I feel like I was on the precipice of a breakthrough, but lost my train of thought.  Oh well!

Starling Marte – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI and his 16th steal.  Every day there’s some fantasy value coming from him.  He’s been like a poor man’s Frazier this year.  I will call him Chintzier.

Jordy Mercer – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 3rd steal, hitting .248.  Whenever you say Jordy Mercer, don’t you want to say, “Jordy Mercer is the craziest!” like you’re singing Naughty by Nature?  No?  Hmm, maybe it’s just me.

J.D. Martinez – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 21st homer, and eight homers in his last nine games.  B-Fire, dude, B-Fire!  Uh-oh, I feel a rhyme coming on!  You out on a prairie, I’m in the city with a rhyming dictionary.  You’re lamenting your lost Springer, thinking about how Niese and an anteater is a dead ringer, if you were a Wire character you wish you were Stringer.  No biggie, but you’re Ziggy.   Try for a comeback and you’re like, “That that!”  Stutter much.  You got some power from Pujols, but are afraid of looking at Prince Albert on Wikipedia.  Shudder…Cutch!  You need him to carry you.  Or maybe you’ll heed the advice to Always Be selling Closers, you know that gambit.  That’s Glengarry you.  *drop mic, hits foot*  Dammit!

Jose Iglesias – 2-for-3, 1 run, hitting .324.  That’s the seventh best average in all of baseball.  No, in all of pocket bocce ball.  Shut up, Random Italicized Voice.  You’re the dur!

Cody Asche – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .254.  Imma let you finish, but what did Maikel do?!  0-for-6?  Oh.

Jonathan Lucroy – 3-for-6, 2 runs, hitting .245.  I feel like his average is still really low since I thought he’s had multiple hits for a few days in a row…*checking player page, remembering I wanted to Google what Danny Pintauro is up to, finds out he’s gay, suddenly occurs to me that most of the cast of Who’s the Boss may have been gay, Googles Katherine Helmond, shocked that Helmond is still alive, reads that she’s into Zen, forgets what I was originally checking, takes nap, claps hands*  I’m back!  What did I miss?

Gerardo Parra – 2-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI.  This point seems like it needs reiterating every year.  When I say someone is a hot schmotato, that means you grab them while they are hot.  It’s not a rest of the season thing.

Scooter Gennett – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI.  Okay, it hasn’t hurt any of the Brewers hitters this week that they’ve been in Philly.

Cesar Hernandez – 3-for-5, 1 run.  Yo, Runny McRunstein, you lose your way?  Get them steals before Utley returns and ruins everything!

Kyle Gibson – 8 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Sad news about his father.  Yes, I’m way behind.  That’s what happens when you live in a bubble.  By the by, do you have to dust if you live in a bubble?  As for Kyle, nothing more than a guy I’d look at Stream-o-Nator for.

Yordano Ventura – Looks ready to return from the DL.  And say another thing about it and he will punch you in your big fat mouth.

Marcus Semien – 1-for-3 and his 7th homer.  Before the homer, he bet Lawrie a dollar he would hit it, and what do you know?  Semien with the money shot!

Scott Kazmir – 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA down to 2.56.  Six starts until it’s time to sell!

Jeremy Hellickson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA down to 5.06.  Stream-o-Nator always says nice things about every pitcher going against the Rockies on the road, and, I have to be honest, I don’t always share the enthusiasm, but it does tend to be right more than not.  It’s just so crazy to me that the Rockies are simply so bad on the road then so good at home, but, hey, they are.

A.J. Pollock – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 10th homer.  Thankfully, Pollock didn’t run the bases backwards.

Jose Fernandez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks as he returns from the DL and pitchslapped Matt Cain, because, Cain said something about his mama.  Don’t be talking about people’s mamas!  J-Fer is my favorite of the pitchers that returned yesterday.  Do I think he’s still nowhere near what he was when he got injured?  Yeah, I do.  I also think he can get there by season’s end, and, like Matt Harvey, he’ll show glimmers of the pitcher he used to be.  Next year, it’ll be all hands on his hard body again.

Adeiny Hechavarria – 2-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI as he hit third in the order.  Instead of writing his name in the lineup card, Marlins manager, Jennings, wrote simply a sad emoticon.

Justin Bour – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 9th homer, and third homer in as many games.  Yes, he’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy column, but you really don’t need to wait for that to grab him.  Or does your cup Bourth over?!  Wait, huh?

Buster Posey – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer.  He showed no ill effects of a possible concussion yesterday, except, when he rounded the bases, he sang I Feel Pretty from West Side Story.

Gregor Blanco – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 2nd homer.  Has a hit in eight straight starts since Aoki went down to injury and is hitting near-.450 in the last week.  Blanco is a white-hot schmotato alert!

Matt Cain – 5 IP, 5 ER as he also returned from the DL on National Return To Work Day in the majors.  See, what I said on Moore, add in the NL West, subtract youth, add in a good pitcher’s park and you get Cicely Tyson.  Wow, the math is way off there.  Should’ve got “Streamer in most leagues.”  In related news, this cracked me up, from another fantasy site, “Cain should be rostered in most mixed league formats. In his career, he has posted ERA marks higher than 4.00 just three times in ten seasons (2006, 2013, 2014).”  No red flags that his past two seasons have been the bad ones.  Nope, nothing to see there!

Santiago Casilla – Bochy’s going to give him some time to get some rest and get his head right.  Bochy would need six years and an army of Lilliputians to get his head right.  I’d grab Sergio Romo and Javier Lopez, in that order.

Tim Lincecum – Hit the Disgraceful List and will likely return out of the bullpen.  Crazy how far he’s fallen, then again, it’s even crazier how high he still is.

2020 Draft Kit
 
  1. Manley Ramirez says:
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    Shoulda been cain pitchslapping fernandez for mama talk, but as you point out Cain does have his limits, and one of them is not properly complying with your punchlines.

  2. Ante GALIC says:
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    Grey!

    Wonderful, fantastic, thrilling!

    a. Sad on Springer’s injury. Impossible to find that kind of value on the Internet so, one has to do what one has to do.

    b. NORM MADCONALD quote of the day:

    ‘Lamar Odom was recently awarded the coveted 6th man award. A delighted Odom said “This more than makes up for me ACCIDENTALLY marrying the wrong Kardashian.”‘

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Chicken Dinner says:
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      @Ante GALIC: Attaboy Norm.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Ante GALIC: Ha, thanks! B. This quote makes me think he’s doing new material, Norm MacDonald is still doing comedy?

      • Ante GALIC says:
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        @Grey: He does his live show over the Internet and he did a stand-up show that went to DVD but I guess he hasn’t done much since the sports show with norm macdonald ended after one season. He was the last standup comedian to appear on Letterman’s show before Letterman retired.

        Cheers,
        Ante

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Was Norm the last on Letterman? I have the last two weeks of shows recorded but I haven’t watched and may never

          • Ante GALIC says:
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            @Grey: Norm appeared on the May 15th show which featured Oprah! No other standup comedy until his last show.

            Cheers,
            Ante

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Ah, good to know, I have that one recorded, can watch it

  3. PancakeMaker says:
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    Any chance the O’s aren’t gonna yank Gausman around and keep him in the rotation the rest of the year? Or does Bud Norris have some dirty pictures of Showalter keeping him in there?

    And in deep rotisserie dynasty league, I have Pedroia/Schoop both on the DL. My only other 2B option right now is Pearce and Showalter (gah! There he is again!!!) doesn’t play him much. Drop him for Aaron Hill, Enrique Hernandez or Callaspo? They’re seriously the best free agent options available and none of them are starters, I’d hate it if Pearce got hot again after dropping him but I need a 2B!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @PancakeMaker: He’ll prolly get yanked around…I’d go with Hill while Pedroia’s laid up

      • PancakeMaker says:
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        @Grey: Thanks! And I just saw those Showalter comments on Gaus….he’s killing me! I want to see this kid out there on a regular basis already

    • Baezaworldseries says:
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      @PancakeMaker: Well. He’s supposedly staying up through the O’s road trip. He has no scheduled starts. And to top it off. Showalter’s words were he’ll “see what happens” with Gausman. It’s so frustrating that the O’s have zero visibility with their young arms.

  4. redraft league… and assume gray doesn’t eat any more raw chicken. my arenado for gray. need pitching badly but would to have to fill a IF position off waivers.

  5. Assy says:
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    Hallmark thank-you card:
    Grey, fantasy master lothario, your catching philosophy changed my whole game last year. And this year, trading Russssst Martin for JD-Mart a month ago, pure razzball thinking. I’m sittin pretty on vacation here in Hawaii this week, and just wanted to say cheers. Best regards to Cougs, too.

    PS is De Aza the answers to our outfield clustermuck? I’m thinking it’s Maybin’ time for a change.

    All the best, truly, Assy!

    • Robert says:
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      @Assy: don’t forget the shave ice. I had one every day last week.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @Robert: Why can’t anyone on the mainland do shave ice? It seems relatively simple

        • Robert says:
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          @Grey: I was told by a local that the difference is the blade. The best places replace the blade before it becomes dull. Add vanilla ice cream to it and it is unbelievable.
          !

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Condensed milk with the snow cap, off the chain! I don’t see why they can’t buy the same blade here

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Assy: I wish I were there with you! Well, maybe not with you, but in Hawaii, enjoy!

  6. Natty Boh says:
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    Gausman has options. The O’s brass like roster flexibility. He will likely be sent back down.

    • Malicious Phenom says:
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      @Natty Boh: The O’s want Gausman back in the minors so he can pitch every fifth day through the MLB all-star break..

  7. TGD says:
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    Awesome as usual !! Your daily notes and cup of coffee is the first thing my brain deals with every morning. (I live in a different timezone).
    You make my morning a little brighter.

    Quick question.
    Would you start T.Bauer tonight? He is stinking impossible to read so I am 50/50 right now. Your view is my decision maker.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @TGD: Thanks! I wouldn’t

  8. Fastpitch says:
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    I’m trying to set my next week, weekly lineups (stutterer) and to reserve the right players for my NL only league. I need your foresight.
    1. Gennett or Hernandez over Jace.
    2. K. Davis over Polanco on reserves (we have 4 reserves)
    3. Giles or Smith over Wada.

    Have a fun holiday weekend.

    • I got $100 for groceries, $1400 for liquor, and $6,000 for you to bail a couple of shit puppets out of jail says:
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      @Fastpitch: scooter is benched against each and every lefty, plan ahead for that.

  9. Surfer dude says:
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    hi, 12 h2h, Belt or Duffy, ROS – thanks!

  10. Tony C says:
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    Fee agents OFs DeAza, Granderson, Belt, or Byrd over my Tomas? 12team H2H 9 hitting cats. Thanks and have a great holiday weekend!

  11. Bull in a Chinese Restaurant says:
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    solarte has a truly awful OBP and little speed.

      • Bull in a Chinese Restaurant says:
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        @Grey: i’m comparing him to kemp, who certainly used to have good OBP numbers, or even venable, those are best options.

  12. Malicious Phenom says:
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    On this day in baseball history:

    July 3, 2006 Barry Bonds (41), Steve Finley (41), and birthday boy Moises Alou (40) become the first trio of 40-year-olds to start a game in the same outfield. The senior flycatchers combine to go 4-for-11 along with two stolen bases to help the Giants defeat Philadelphia, 5-3.

    • Jvanslyke says:
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      @Malicious Phenom:

      That’s a great tidbit

      Finley was always my favorite Orioles outfielder, Bonds as a Pirate was my favorite player and I respected Alou peeing on his hands before batting

      • Malicious Phenom says:
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        @Jvanslyke:

        cheers

        Wonder if all the Alou brothers practiced this ritual..

      • Danny on the dl says:
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        @Jvanslyke: looks like gausman may be here to stay, he’s going to Chicago.

        That being said Fiers or Gausman Ros

        H2h points

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Gausman

      • Malicious Phenom says:
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        @Grey: thanks, you want in?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Nah, thanks though

  13. Malicious Phenom says:
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    HAPPY 4TH OF JULY EVE AMERICA

  14. omrider says:
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    I just dropped Dexter the Fowl one for Gausman. I feel so free!
    Now they’ll send him down or stick him in the pen .

  15. I got $100 for groceries, $1400 for liquor, and $6,000 for you to bail a couple of shit puppets out of jail says:
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    hey, lloyd christmas wants rodney to close for the exact same rationale as that other fantasy site tells us to own cain, he’s had so many good seasons (or career saves). the logic is perfect, if it was true, good performance over a long time equals own right now. in related news espn has sent stalkers to the home of h.p. lovecraft’s descendants (indirect, as he didn’t have any kids, too weird for women) and babe ruth’s grave simultaneously to jump start that career again. Some modern asethetics guides still tell us to search the bones/dust of helen of troy.

  16. Kenneth Cashman says:
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    Interesting news tidbit last night – the Dodgers DFA’d Brandon League. You think this is paving the way for a Seager call up?

    • Dangerfield 51 says:
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      @Kenneth Cashman:
      Seems like something is going on with Seager otherwise why did they do this:

      “Seager homered twice for Triple-A Oklahoma on Wednesday, but even more notable was that the Dodgers declined approving his selection to the Futures Game, Bill Shaiken of the LA Times reports.”

      • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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        @Dangerfield 51: might just want to play it how smart hockey players do, and not risk getting injured for no reason, like datsyuk, crosby do for the NHL all star game.

  17. Jvanslyke says:
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    Streamonator is not a fan of Richards at tex today, should I sit him?

    • Malicious Phenom says:
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      @Jvanslyke: sit

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jvanslyke: I wouldn’t mess with SON there

  18. G says:
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    Hey Grey. Asked Magoo this trade question last night and he said to go for it (BTW thanks Magoo for getting back to me). In my 12 team keeper league which is head 2 head category league with obp and average I was offered harper for my puig and arrieta. I recently traded Abreu for price so have a pitching bump. I’ll quickly list my offense and pitching to get your opinion on the trade. There’s really no keeper value involved other than arrieta who I wasn’t going to keep anyway as I could only keep 4 guys who will likely be arenado, correa, pederson, and harvey. Magoo told me to make the trade and keep harper over pederson but harper cannot be kept and would only be a rental. I’m not having a hard time parting with puig as much as arrieta. Thanks in advance as always and have a good 4th.

    Starting hitting: Mccan, Chris davis, wong, correa, arenado, upton, marte, pederson, puig, Moreland (have segura and wilson Ramos on bench)

    SPs: Harvey, Price, Salazar, Carrasco, arrieta, Montgomery

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @G: Agree with Magoo

  19. Chuzwozza says:
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    Cracking stuff – thanks Grey. Have lost Stanton and Springer over the past couple of days so feeling a little sorry for myself!

    Question if I may – is it worth using my third place in the waiver queue to make a play at S Gray? How about J Shields?

    Thanks as always!

      • Chuzwozza says:
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        @Grey: I thought I was missing something, that’s why I came here to check! Maybe the owner had a bout of samonella and never got over it so is worried about Gray?

        Will put in a claim and hope for the best. Thanks for the confirmation!

  20. Strolg says:
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    Wouldn’t it be weird if Manuel’s grandpa died in the bathtub and how many days do you think he’d miss if so?

  21. Jay says:
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    Better pickup. Quintana or Brett Anderson?

    • Malicious Phenom says:
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      @Jay: Anderson for now.