Points Leagues: Hebrew Nationals

Max Scherzer, Jordan Zimmermann, and Stephen Strasburg. If that doesn’t sound like the guest list for Temple Beth Sholom’s Rosh Hashanah bash, I don’t know what does. Who will the Nationals sign next, Ryan Braun, Ike Davis or Ian Kinsler? How many Jews does it take to win a World Series? Now before anyone goes and gets offended, let me say that I myself am Jewish, or at least I was raised as such. Bar Mitzvah and all. And that means that it’s kosher for me make Jewish jokes. It’s kinda like how African-American rappers and comedians are allowed to say the word that shall not be said. Shockingly, however, none of Scherzer, Zimmermann, nor Strasburg light the menorah. Say what!?! It’s true. You won’t find any of those names in Adam Sandler’s next rendition of the Hanukkah Song. But while I’m on the topic, allow me to say that Hebrew National hot dogs are, by far, the best hot dogs one can eat. Actually all kosher hot dogs are pretty damn delicious. Most importantly, they are all beef. No uncertainly about what you are actually eating. After all, they answer to a higher authority!

While Scherzer is certainly living up to his potential with 55 strikeouts and 150 points in just under 50 innings pitched, his aforementioned, potentially uncircumcised counterparts are pitching like they are being punished for eating a ham and cheese sandwich in a synagogue on Yom Kippur.

Zimmerman has had seven starts so far this season. While six of them were “quote on quote” quality starts, that stat doesn’t do much for me. Unless, of course, you are in a points league that awards points for quality starts. I just never bought into the fact that 6 innings pitched and 3 earned runs should be considered a quality start. Since when is a 4.50 ERA quality. Sounds more like a Sabrett than a genuine Hebrew National. In those 7 starts Zimmerman has 2 wins and has struck out a measly 24 batters. He has given up 19 earned runs and 46 hits and has a total of 75 fantasy points. At just over 10.7 points per start this is not what those that drafted him were expecting and puts him right up there with James Paxton, Mark Buehrle and Adam Warren. Several “experts” are saying his results are not due to his drop in velocity, but I’m not buying it.

And now for Stephen James Strasburg and his pathetic attempt at being a pitcher this season. In his 7 starts he has put up a total of 48 points (6.85 PPS). That has to be a misprint, right? To put that number in perspective, several pitchers, including Felix Hernandez, Dallas Keuchel and Shelby Miller have scored that many points in a single outing. Strasburg is still striking out a batter per inning, but he also has an ERA over 6. I read an article saying that he isn’t injured, but instead his mechanics are off due to a prior injury and his body is still compensating for said injury. Personally I don’t care what the reason is as long as he rights the ship. Last year I traded Adam Jones for Strasburg and so far it’s not paying off. Before you say I’m crazy for making that deal, our league his very top heavy in points for pitching and top pitchers greatly outpoint top hitters. If there were no keepers in our league the first round would consist of Mike Trout and 11 pitchers.

All this talk about hot dogs has me hungry for a couple of all beef franks. I think I’ll fire up the grill, throw on some heebs and put together an updated list of points leagues rankings. These rankings are a hybrid of year-to-date and rest-of-season performances.

Catchers:

Like Puff Daddy said, “Vogt or Die”. However, even though Stephen Vogt leads the way with 118 points, Buster Posey remains the catcher to catch amongst catchers.

First Base:

Paul Goldschmidt (133 points) is the guy to own here, but if don’t have him there’s always Silverschmidt and Bronzeschmidt. I mean Miguel Cabrera (109) and Anthony Rizzo (133). The player with the biggest jump here is Eric Hosmer who now has 123 points. What’s going on with Jose Abreu (83)? I suggest you buy low if you can!

Second Base:

The big news here is the fall of Robinson Cano. And by fall I mean from number one to number two. But let’s not make this all about Cano, when Jose Altuve deserves just as much of the credit. Cano’s one home run is rather alarming. Nelson Cruz is proving that home runs can be hit in Seattle. I could have gone either way with Devon Travis and Dee Gordon. Jason Kipnis’s dad enjoys Hebrew Nationals.

Third Base:

How many weeks until Alex Rodriguez is in the top 5? While that’s not going to happen I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it every time he hits another home run. If Todd Frazier doesn’t slow down he’s going to find himself even closer to the top. Kris Bryant needs to cut down on the strikeouts before he make a serious move up the ladder. And lastly, Adrian Beltre’s ranking was almost generous. I really wanted to put Marcus Semien ahead of him, but will wait until the next rankings for that maneuver.

Shortstop:

I had to do it. Hanley Ramirez deserves the top spot and Troy Tulowitzki does not. I think I will be reversing that move in the weeks to come, but for now it’s Hanley’s turn. Hello Andrelton Simmons! It was tough to rank Reyes and Zobrist due to their injuries so I gave it the old college try.

Outfield:

No surprise here to find Mike Trout as the top outfielder, but it is actually Bryce Harper that leads all outfielders (and hitters) in fantasy points with 135. Is this the year that Harper overtakes Trout? If he can stay healthy all season it will certainly be a fun race to watch. If Andrew McCutchen doesn’t wake up soon he’s going to find himself even further down the rankings next time out. Brett Gardner has been producing very nicely for points league owners.

Starting Pitcher:

A lot like outfielders, ranking starting pitchers is no easy task after the top 10 to 20. I was tempted to move King Felix into the top spot ahead of Clayton Kershaw, but I just wasn’t ready. Give me a reason Clayton! I’m really loving Gerrit Cole and I have high expectations of Carlos Rodon, especially since he will remain in the rotation and supposedly will not have an innings limit.

Well there you have it. Certified kosher rankings. No ifs, ands or butts!