Super Two’s time has come, finally.  The rules for Super Two’s are as following:  any player(s) that has not been called up previously or has been called up previously but has more than and less than 180 service time days.  Service time days are counted backwards from 180 and if you get to 75 before you fall asleep, their service time has started.  Players who have Scott Boras call the management of the player’s team about service time will not have their service time start.  If Boras does not call, but his assistant does call, then service time does not start, unless the commissioner, Our Manfred, has to call Boras back directly.  Then service time counts two times as fast or the player has to pitch or hit at a rate of 12 frames per second, which is fast motion.  Of course, I have no idea when A.J. Reed or anyone else will be called up!  No one does!  Teams themselves can’t figure out Super Two.  Delegates vs. super delegates is less confusing, but, obviously, also less important.  Leave it to Major League Baseball to give you the most arcane rules possible.  Reed hasn’t been tearing up Triple-A, but neither has Tyler White in the majors, and the Astros are committed to winning, and winning means trying Reed.  Even if he hasn’t killed Triple-A, it doesn’t mean he won’t hit well in the majors, and he has big-time power.  Now is the time to grab him in every league, his Super Two thing that no one understands is just about to happen!  (So, was he a Super One before?  Jesus, can’t someone just say everyone becomes eligible to be called up on June 1st?  Would that be too hard?)  Anyway, here’s more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Tue 8/5
ARI | ATH | ATL | BAL | BOS | CHC | CHW | CIN | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIA | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SEA | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR | WSH | OAK

As a life long New York Yankees fan it pains me to say it, but I’d rather own Red Sox players on my fantasy team. I have some friends that subscribe to the “fan before fantasy” philosophy, but I’m not drinking the cool-aid. I’m perfectly fine with rooting against the Yankees when doing so is in the best interest of my fantasy team. Carlos Beltran leads all hitters on the Yankees with 127 points. There are six Red Sox players ahead of Beltran. Those six players are David Ortiz (200), Mookie Betts (200), Xander Bogaerts (171), Dustin Pedroia (155), Jackie Bradley Jr. (148) and Travis Shaw (129). That’s two thirds of their starting lineup. The only player with more points than Ortiz and Betts is Jose Altuve with 216.

Total points is important, but by now you all know that I really like to use points per plate appearance to compare players. I’ve only mentioned it about 78 times this season. If I had to include last season I’d actually have to go back and count. Moving to PPPA , David Ortiz (0.966) actually moves ahead of Altuve (0.87). Betts, JBJ and Bogaerts are all in the top 25.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sorry to miss last week fellas; especially those that have been following closely (you have no idea how much I appreciate you! Yes, you!). I just moved to Southern California from St Louis and boy are my arms tired! Tired from holding the wheel of a U-Haul for almost 30 hours through the mountains of Colorado and Utah that is. Beautiful country, lots of sweet scenery to bask in, but having never driven a U-Haul before and going with downhill grades of 7% and higher at night there were more than a few moments of some white knuckle fear; much less scary was driving in LA traffic because if other cars don’t want to get out of the way of a U-Haul then it’s their funeral. Anyway I’m here, I have beer, I’m looking to walk along the pier, get used to it. And I’m back to talk some more OPS strategy…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sorry for the stock jargon. Everyone who’s reading this is more than likely a DFS fan or someone who has some interest in it which means you probably have something outside of DFS that tickles some part of your brain that gets you into it. For me, besides being a fantasy baseball fan/player/’expert’/etc, I find the world of stocks to be an amazing measure of human psychology. Even the most intelligent people in the world never get into the market because, and I say this from experience, it’s tough man. And if you’re a DFS player who loves tourneys, I can guess that element of challenge of finding that perfect play or sneaky stack is what leads you to me. So with that, let me collage my mental stock and DFS droppings on to this here bloggy-site and say that Francisco Liriano is that falling knife I’m gonna try and catch tonight. On a slate full of good, expensive arms, Liriano is the 17th most expensive pitcher at $7,900. He’s just $500 more than Ricky Nolasco…yes, it’s been that bad for him of late. The last time Liriano was relevant for winning in DFS, it was May 6th. You had more hair back then and your wife thought this daily fantasy nonsense would pass over. Now you’re sitting in the red, all your possessions have been repo’d including your wife by that jerk Brad from high school and you’re sitting around in a wife beater with no underwear, smeared in peanut butter just trying to get your dog to…wow, that went a little too far. I swear it’s about my friend and not me! All this to say, I’m ready to give Francisco a chance on a night where he’ll more than likely get overlooked. The upside for 30 is still there, let’s see the chart start pointing up for him tonight. But enough of that, let’s move on to this: here’s my Warren Buffett hot taeks for this Friday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 6th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You wanna know frustration?  Of course, you do.  You play fantasy baseball!  We’ve chosen a hobby that is the least relaxing hobby possible.  May as well have a hobby of picking cheese off mousetraps.  If the mousetrap doesn’t smash your finger, you win.  What do you win?  A virtual trophy!  Oh, and bragging rights.  Awesome!  Okay, wanna really know frustration?  Wait to see how Dusty uses Trea Turner upon his call-up.  This is gonna be so fun!  Will Lloyd’s of London insure the ulcers of all Trea Turner owners?  Yesterday, he was called up to replace Ryan Zimmerman, who went on paternity leave.  So, unless Zimmerman’s wife takes as long as he does to get hot, I’m assuming Zimmerman will be back in three days tops.  At that point, Turner will stay with the club and play, stay and get benched or get demoted again.  If he stays with the club, do you think Dusty is going to play him over Espinosa?  Well, he could.  I guess.  “So, how do you play this mousetrap game again?”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Justin Upton was one of this offseason’s prized free agents, and with good reason. He’s shown the ability to hit for power (.200+ ISO and 26+ homers in each of the last three seasons), get on base (.348 career OBP), and even steal a few bags (18 or more SBs in five out of the last seven seasons). At 28 years old, the odds were pretty good that there were still a few productive seasons left in the tank. The Detroit Tigers pounced on the fresh meat and decided to lavish a six year, $132.75 million contract upon Upton in January. Thus far, the carcass of this Upton has been more rancid than the ones described by Upton Sinclair in his novel The Jungle over a century ago. J-Up has managed to produce a measly .213/.259/.319 batting line with just 3 home runs, 1 stolen base, 22 runs, and 11 RBI through the first two months of the season. Eduardo Nunez and Coco Crisp have hit more homers. Renowned speedsters Buster Posey and Mike Napoli have swiped more bags. Backup catchers David Ross and Bobby Wilson have driven in more runs in a fraction of the at-bats. Umm… what in the blue hell is going on here? Is Upton washed up already? Is there any hope for a turnaround?

Let’s take a look at Upton’s profile to see if there’s hope for a rebound. Here are a few observations:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Throughout my time as a dynasty player, I’ve learned that there’s one thing that’s as inevitable in this format as death and taxes….. turnover. Sometimes it’s simply because a manager no longer likes the format or league. Sometimes it’s a lack of the time element that needs to be applied to properly compete. Other times it’s an incident that disenfranchises owners, and leads them to quit. Well over the last month I’m pretty sure all of these apply to outgoing managers within our Razzball in-house dynasty the Razznasty. There’s been drama, tears, a gang-related shooting, and an arm wrestling tournament in a truck stop. Actually I think I’m confused, all those things happened during my Memorial Day weekend with my in-laws. You know what they say, “sometimes you join the Hell’s Angels, and other times you marry into them”.  Moving along, let’s discuss the standings, trades, and wavier claims for the month of May.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The paragraph that I am about to write has next to nothing to do with the Thursday slate of MLB games, and that’s okay, because the NBA Finals begin on Thursday. Cleveland is stronger than they were last year, but most people are forgetting that Golden State is too. At least one of Steph and Klay will get hot in every game of the series, and when at least one of them is hot, they are virtually unguardable. Because of that fact, I am going Warriors in six. Now, to move onto the picks for today, with three AL East infielders making an appearance in my lineup, along with the Brewers’ battery.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 6th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Felix Hernandez hit the DL with a calf strain.  He could veal it during his last start.  Sounds like a good injury to milk.  Sorry, I was just shaking out the pockets of these jeans I wore last night and I had a bunch of unused cow puns.  What’s a dad cow’s poop called?  Pa-nure!  Take it, Highlights, it’s yours!  So, James Paxton was called up to replace F-Her, who is likely going to only miss a few weeks, but Paxton could continue to get starts if he’s good.  So, can Paxton be good?  Is there’s twelve posts in post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-hype sleeper?  Paxton has shown flashes of brilliance with his 94 MPH fastball but the M’s have wanted Paxton to improve on a bunch of pitches and he’s already 27 years old, so is improvement coming?  Well, he had a 3.97 ERA in Triple-A this year and Steamer projects him as a streamer, so I have no faith whatsoever.   Speaking of faith, yesterday Paxton gave up runs like his character gave out marriage proposals.  Looking at his line is like looking at Chloe Sevigny — 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 unearned runs.  Paxton’s like when Picasso stood up from the toilet.  He’d look down and say, “That’s a work in progress.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Vegas is approximately a 4 1/2 hour drive from where I live. The drive there is always fun, unless you leave on a Friday night and it seems like all 3.884 million inhabitants of Los Angeles are headed that way as well. Regardless, even with the traffic, the anticipation and excitement are at a fervent level in the beginning. You feel lucky. You’ve got your strategy down. You are going to come back a winner. Then you get there and reality sets in. For some it’s great. For the rest, Vegas would like to thank you for paying for the lights, wages, profits, etc…The ride back is either the Drive of Shame, the longest freaking journey in the history of mankind that has you screaming Are We There Yet? or you are floating on a magic carpet ride and it’s a Whole New World. We are entering that phase of the fantasy baseball season when some owners will start wondering when the fantasy football season starts, while others will be giddy with excitement at their place in the standings. I’m here to say that there’s a ton of baseball to be played. Don’t get too excited if you are on top and don’t give up hope… at least not yet.

In this weekly column, I will highlight some lower-owned players that performed well over the past week (5/22 – 5/28). If I think they can help your fantasy team, Obama will make it rain. If I do not, then they get a whammy. If you are not familiar with whammies, check out old episodes of the game show Press Your Luck.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Do you remember back when you were in school when you were walking into class and your buddy asked you how much you studied for today’s test and your immediate response was “oh sh!t” when you realized that you had completely forgotten about said test? You then spent about six minutes trying to “study” all the while knowing you were not going to fare all that well. But hey, you were going to give a shot. You could have just bailed on the class and figured out how to make up the exam, but not today. Well the “oh sh!t” thought is what went through my head about ten minutes ago when I remembered that tonight was Tuesday (not Monday) and I had to write you clowns a post about fantasy baseball. I considered packing it in, but then decided I was going to give it a go.

Let’s take a look at the players that lead the league in the fewest number of plate appearances to accomplish a stat…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve never been a big fan of the small slates with 3-4 games. DraftKings calls them “turbos”, I call them, “no-gos”. In a game with so much variance, I don’t need to mess around with rosters with 75% overlap. Therefore, we’ll be taking a look at the night slate on this Wednesday. The full day contests aren’t really much more enticing. I have a hard enough time setting aside the time to research for my lineups, get them built, check the weather, and monitor things up until 7:05. Adding in more random start times throughout the day just doesn’t do much for me. So, during this night slate we have some interesting pitching choices. Max Scherzer is the (very) good, then there’s some “meh” and finally, there’s a whole lot of ugly. We all know Scherzer’s upside. Even his last time out when he gave up 5 runs before Nats fans even got settled into their seats, he still settled down to go 7 IP with 6 Ks and turn a negative 12 point outing into 13+ points. He’s a horse and against the Phillies and their third worst team OPS, he’s the #1 cash game option of the night. That’s a no brainer. Maneuvering through the uglies is where things will get tricky tonight. Let’s do some digging and see if we can find a 10 hidden among the slew of ugly:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 6th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?