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As we continue our 2017 fantasy baseball rankings, we head into the homestretch of ranking hitters.  For those confused, homestretch isn’t when you shoot up late at night, remembering there’s a Dorito under the couch and go reaching for it.  That is the opening to my short film, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dorito.  The main character has just been Frito-Laid off and is described as Pringley and Ruffled.  Last year, this post had Adam Duvall, Jackie Bradley Junz, Jay Brucespringsteen and a bunch of vomit.  So, there is some value to still be found in the outfielders, it’s just a matter of finding it, like in the landmark film, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dorito.  As with the other rankings, my projections are included and where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2017 fantasy baseball:

61. Michael Brantley – This tier started in the top 60 outfielders for 2017 fantasy baseball.  This tier ends at Ellsbury.  I called this tier, “A Cinqfecta of Old.”   Could Brantley regain his past glory?  Sure, and the Easter Bunny shits chocolate eggs.  Does it seem remotely possible Brantley will regain past glory?  It’s more likely to see a Japanese porn with an eggplant emoji.  What I think you’re going to get is a lot of news saying, “Brantley hopes to resume hitting by (fill-in day).”  Now, if your league has a category for “Injury News Reports” then by all means.  2017 Projections:  61/12/70/.285/10 in 455 ABs

62. Jacoby Ellsbury – It took him two crapola years, if memory serves (it doesn’t, I’m looking at his player page) to finally fall to a place where he might have just an eensie bit of value.  Uh-oh!  Here comes an Out Of Nowhere Prediction!  The year the Yankees finally get rid of Ellsbury is the year the Yankees will finally compete again in the playoffs.  *sees Ellsbury will be earning $20+ million thru 2020*  HAHAHAHAHA WHAT AN AWFUL CONTRACT!  2017 Projections: 79/8/54/.260/22 in 545 ABs

63. Rajai Davis – This is a new tier.  This tier ends at Dyson.    I call this tier, “Here for SAGNOF?  Get behind the King.”  The tier name is self-explanatory.  Rajai signed with the A’s this offseason, but, if I had the money, I would’ve signed Rajai off of free agency just to sit in a throne, wearing a crown, eating grapes that Cougs fed him.  If I were a head of an ad agency, I’d put Rajai in every commercial that McConaughey’s currently in.  If I ran a YMCA, I’d make Rajai the lifeguard and tell him to save only those that look they could steal 35 bases in less than 450 ABs.  “Jarrod Dyson, you’re saved.  Grandma with bathing cap?  I’m sorry.”  That’s me instructing Rajai on his job.  2017 Projections:  66/9/42/.253/39 in 455 ABs

64. Delino DeShields Jr. – Didn’t some people last year think he could break out?  Where are those people now?  Huh?!  Not to answer, but to judge me silently.  2017 Projections:  64/7/41/.267/28 in 474 ABs

65. Travis Jankowski – I call this haiku, “Forever Jankowski.”

Jankowski running,
Jankowski steals a base, wow,
A Jan Kow what now?

2017 Projections: 57/5/35/.241/37 in 467 ABs

66. Hernan Perez – Already went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.

67. Manuel Margot – Already gave you my Manuel Margot fantasy.  It was written on the back of a Bazooka Joe comic.  2017 Projections:  82/5/41/.277/31 in 546 ABs

68. Jarrod Dyson – In his career, he has 176 SBs and 101 RBIs.  If Rusty Staub was the greatest pinch hitter to play the game, Dyson should’ve been born twenty years earlier and just ran for him.  They could’ve called that pairing, The Rusty Chicken.  A little inside baseball talk or rather inside fantasy baseball talk for you.  I use Roster Resource for playing time/possible lineup configuration.  Here I disagree with them, because they have Dyson leading off for the M’s.  Maybe he does, but Dyson has been a platoon, nine-hole hitter for his entire career and I don’t see that changing on the reg.  And, yes, I heard what the M’s manager has said about Dyson leading off.  To give you an idea of how much credence we should give managers on what they say in January.  Here’s three quotes from managers in past Januarys.  “Matt Kemp says he can go 40/40 and I believe him!”  “Pablo Sandoval has never looked this good before, and I legit want to put a bikini on him and watch him walk away from me.”  “This Padres team can compete for the division.”  2017 Projections: 49/2/31/.259/38 in 372 ABs

69. Aaron Judge – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Bell.  I call this tier, “Last call for IDWTFLISFSITOBHWR.”  And you thought I was done with IDWTFLISFSITOBHWR!  Ha!  I showed you!  Damn, love to be a Jeff Goldblum on the wall when a new reader comes across IDWTFLISFSITOBHWR.  Okay, okay, IDWTFLISFSITOBHWR essentially means I’m excited for this tier.  To read more, see the top 20 outfielders.  As for Judge, already gave you my Aaron Judge fantasy.  It was written while comparing apples and oranges.  2017 Projections:  68/28/79/.232/3 in 488 ABs

70. David Peralta – Already gave you my David Peralta sleeper.  It was written with a sinus infection.  2017 Projections:  73/18/85/.289/9 in 535 ABs

71. Jorge Soler – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Soler) traded to the Royals in the Wade Davis deal.  Like a recent emigre of Transylvania, this will be the first time Soler will be able to do anything without someone breathing down his neck. You can’t underestimate the amount of pressure on a guy who repeatedly had players knocking on his playing time door.  “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Kyle Schwarber taking your playing time.”  “This is the worst Knock, Knock joke ever.”  That’s Soler.”  And that’s me quoting me!    2017 Projections:  64/20/77/.261/2 in 487 ABs

72. Domingo Santana – Swear to you, I went and searched the site for my Domingo Santana sleeper post.  I came up empty, because apparently I didn’t write it.  I could’ve sworn I did too.  He’s so my type of guy.  30-homer power and 10-steal speed and whatever on average.  Sure, those are pie-in-the-sky-type numbers (well, except the ‘whatever average’).  Sunday Santana is prime for a breakout because even the people doing projections are giving him 20 homers and 6 steals.  That’s bleh, but that ‘bleh’ is only in 120 games and Domingo could play 155 games.  So, even by their estimates, if he plays 155 games, we’re in for a great year for Sunday.  I may still write this sleeper post.  Stay tuned.  Or not!  2017 Projections:  64/24/73/.243/8 in 487 ABs

73. Hunter Renfroe – Already gave you my Hunter Renfroe fantasy.  It was my GIF to you.  2017 Projections:  70/25/83/.252/5 in 503 ABs

74. Josh Bell – Already went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.

75. Kevin Kiermaier – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the top 100 outfielders for 2017 fantasy baseball.  I call this tier, “Bet you can find at least one guy in your league who likes these guys more than me.”  You can put away your Spider-Man wallet; it was a figurative bet.  As for Kiermaier, he’s the stereotypical ‘smart’ fantasy baseball player’s draft pick.  The ‘smart’ ones are like, “He gets you 15 homers and 20 steals and I’ll take that to the bank and put it next to the money I earned buying ‘Mexican border wall’ stock.”  Damn, they are so smart.  Only problem is his team is dirt garbage so he’s going to get no runs or RBIs and 15 homers and 20 steals across the season is like one homer every two weeks and one steal every five days.  When you’re owning that, all you do is look at waivers thinking about how the latest hot player is better than Kiermaier and you drop Kev by April 15th.  2017 Projections:  63/14/48/.254/19 in 487 ABs

76. Shin-Soo Choo – If this guy runs for president, he can tell his followers that they’re on the Soo Choo train.  I could see Choo being ranked anywhere from top 50 outfielders to 100th overall (so I split the difference).  As Saberhagenmetricians would point out, he has been solid every other year and we’re in a ‘good’ year.  Hey, how’d I get inside this blimp?  Guys, what’s going on?  2017 Projections:   75/16/48/.264/7 in 460 ABs

77. Kevin Pillar – If John Gibbons were to say Pillar is his leadoff man for 600 ABs this year and we need to run because of the loss of some offense, I’d be all ‘cash me outside how bow dah’ Pillar, but the Jays aren’t really built to start running and Travis is Gibbons’ leadoff man, so Pillar is hitting what?  8th?  Bleh.  Plus, he’s 28, the Pillar’s time has passed.  Or put more punny, this Pillar has reached its statue of limitations.  2017 Projections:  62/10/58/.272/15 in 535 ABs

78. Cameron Maybin – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Maybin was) traded to the Angels.  His last two ‘full’ seasons have looked like this:  10 HRs, 23 SBs, .267 and 8 HRs, 26 SBs, .243.  There’s a chance here for a cheap Fowler that Trout drives in so much that Maybin actually has a bit of value in 12-team leagues.  More likely:  Maybin is on and off fantasy waivers for the better part of the year.”  And that’s me quoting me!   2017 Projections: 74/6/48/.271/19 in 490 ABs

79. Josh Reddick – Here’s what I said this offseason, “Signed with the Astros, and there goes my A.J. Reed fantasy right out the window.  Or will Yulieski Gurriel disappoint in the preseason and Reed does make the Astros?  Or will Reddick hurt himself as he does every year?  Or McCann?  Or Gattis?  Or will Jake 61*-nick not make it to April with a starting job?  I’ll give you a little backstage glance.  My stress gauge lowers about three octaves when the regular season starts just so everyday jobs are decided.  One thing that is certain is Reddick will have an everyday job if he’s injury-free.  By the by, Reddick’s brother has a billboard for STD testing in West Hollywood, his name is Gosh Reddick.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2017 Projections: 59/17/68/.269/7 in 424 ABs

80. Jason Heyward – You might be thinking, “Grey you’re handsome AF, but who in the their right mind will be excited about Heyward?”  Yeah, I know, he was hot garbage on the surface of the sun under Carnie Wilson’s left cheek, but I bet there will be at least one person in every league that is interested in the ‘Heyward as bounce back’ narrative.  That narrative, by the way, is a pop-up book where hot pokers pop-up and stick you in the eye.  2017 Projections:  64/13/67/.257/13 in 490 ABs