Manuel Margot reminds me of an Uber ride I took recently.  I was heading to the airport with Cougs and I said to our Uber driver, “Are you Panamanian?”  And he nodded his head rapidly, shocked like someone who just had their weight guessed at a carnival.  He asked me how I could tell, so rather than telling him how I knew, I said I lived in Panama for the past ten years.  My Spanish wasn’t the least bit convincing for someone who supposedly lived there for the last decade.  “Yo tengo beisbol,” I said with a smile.  He looked confused; I guessed his nationality, but had no hard data to backup the how.  Finally, we got to the airport and stepped out of the Uber ride, when Cougs was like, “How did you know he was Panamanian?”  I said it was obvious, he looked exactly like Manuel Noriega, but I wasn’t telling him that.  Our Uber driver and Noriega could’ve literally had a face-off with their pockmarks.  Any hoo!  How does this remind me of Manuel Margot besides his name?  His stats say this guy is going to be great, but I look at him and I see one thing:  Padres.  That big dopey monk swinging a bat.  Is it me or does the Swinging Friar look like Ed Asner in a muumuu with a phone cord belt?  Meh, prolly me.  So, what can we expect from Manuel Margot for 2017 fantasy baseball?

Maybe he can be a strong bean, but dude’s built like a toothpick.  I’m impressed he had six homers in Triple-A for the Padres, but that’s a PCL team.  (By the way, how unfair is it that the Padres’ Triple-A hitters play in an elevated city in the PCL?  They supposedly combat this by storing baseballs in humidors.  Um, yeah, okay.  This would be like your father hiring prostitutes to teach you the birds and bees, then sending you out in the real world.  Though, in that scenario, your father might be breaking laws.)  Maybe Margot can get into ten homers on a good year when he fills out (he’s only 22 years old), but he looks like a left-center gap hitter.  Wouldn’t actually mind if he just hit everything on the ground and ran hard.  Run, you Panamanian Ed Asner in a muumuu!  (Okay, now I might be mixing my metaphors with my anecdotes.)  The good thing for Margot’s fantasy value is his speed looks easy.  His top steals year in the minors was only 39 steals, and that was in Single-A, where catchers practice their throws back to the pitcher more than their throws to 2nd base.  Still, by looking at Margot, I see a guy that could steal 45+ bases.  Finally, I will put an advert in Craigslist for someone to go into the Padres’ front office and close them down if they don’t start the year with Margot in center.  I mean, seriously, I can’t imagine a situation and/or excuse the Padres could use to not play Margot from the jump.  For 2017, I’ll project him for 82/5/41/.277/31 in 546 ABs with some speed upside and average downside.

 
  1. Daniel says:
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    Watch him be the 2017 Delino Deshields

    • Big Odio says:
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      @Daniel: 2015 or 2016?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Daniel: The manager of the Louisville Bats?

  2. Ante GALIC says:
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    Grey!!!!

    Great article. Like I said yesterday, you should be a real estate agent. Do you have a real estate agent’s licence? You could sell swamp land in northern Florida to the ‘gators themselves.

    a. So humane of you not to say why you knew that Pockmark Uber Driver was Panamanian! I’m sure he now has a much better appreciation of white folk.

    b. I’m gonna love Margot, all night long! If he’s penciled into CF and that’s his floor, that’s pretty awesome. Definitely rosterable in a 12-team league.

    c. Ambassador’s have left the building mercifully ending their 30 hour mission. Last night I couldn’t breathe in or out – total sinus blockage. Tried using the acupressure point to relieve sinus congestion – press on a point just below the cheek bone with index and middle finger pressing upwards and inwards, holding for 30 seconds. It worked somewhat but there was a steady flow of nasal discharge. Probably the result of leaving an air conditioned car to 110 heat, repeat 6 times. Frank Voila, instead sinus blockage.

    d. Turkish Ambassador from Ankara story part 1. He found me alone in the common dining room at 07h24 today. I was happily eating my breakfast and hoping to not see at anyone until 07h30 at which time I’d be back in my room or in my office. So, the guy says in a totally douchey, uppity tone. ‘Where is the preparation of the breakfast? Where is the tea? Where is everything?’ To which I profusely apologized and made him a cup of tea from one of the three varieties we had – of course he had to comment on all three of them. I couldn’t spit in his tea because his lackey was watching my every move.

    e Turkish Ambassador from Ankara story part 2. So our cook prepared crepes as he normally does and omelets per the wish of the individual, like he won’t make a million 3-egg omelets. So Ambassador His Haughtiness says like, ‘So, breakfast is self-service? Why didn’t you tell me?’ I’m like dude, when does that plane arrive and can I pay out of pocket to make it come quicker?

    f. Going home on Sunday for a 10-day break with the family. I have to leave this place on Friday for N’Damena (NDJ), hoping that I will be on the flight’s passenger manifest for the two flights – one to Abeche and the other to NDJ. I’ll know on Thursday afternoon.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Ante GALIC: I wish I did, b/c I wanna sell our place and get a new place, but Cougs is under the impression we can only sell in June…. A. I’m a holder of insults! C. Best thing for a cold is to let the germs leave your body D. HA! You taking care of the Ambassador has turned into Vice Principals (HBO show) E. Haha, I like how the ambassador is a total dick F. Nice! Be good to get away I’m sure

      • Big Odio says:
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        @Grey: my take away here is he has an omelette and A CREPE bar! at his work.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I picture Ante asking the omelette chef if he can peppers, mushrooms and spit in his boss’ omelette

          • Big Odio says:
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            @Grey: I wonder what the code for that is. Extra egg whites?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              It’s off their raw albumen

              • Ante GALIC says:
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                @Grey: Grey!

                a. The boss is okay, but he’s more like a limp noodle than he is substantive. So, if anyone has a really good idea and it’s presented using Benjamin Franklin logic – it’s done. He accepts the idea and promotes it actively. But he has very few of his own ideas. So others cajole him to accept this or that idea.

                b. Case in point? The administration at the office wants to tear down an existing 5-room structure that has sound walls. Because it was poorly constructed, the roof needs an overhaul and the eves need to be extended like another foot. She convinced him that it was a smart idea. Fortunately, I contacted a friend and during her mission she already convinced our big boss that all we need is the roof overhaul and NO need to destroy a soundly built construct. Hopefully they won’t tear down anything during my absence.

                c. The problem is the administration has the grandiose idea of constructing a 2-story office building – in the middle of MOFO nowhere!!! – from scratch. She has not secured the money for said construction and it would be a small fortune that we don’t have looking at the larger-scale needs in other parts of the operation.

                d. So, in short, she’d tear everything down to the ground and then we could let the cows and goats graze on the grass that grows in between the cracks of where the foundation was ’cause the $$$ would not be forthcoming.

                Cheers,
                Ante

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  A. You should tell him rather than turning on the lights, you’re going to fly a kite in the lightning. B. Ah, gotcha…Sounds like total bureaucracy C. HA, what a shizzshow D. Crazy!

                • Scott says:
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                  @Ante GALIC: Is he related to Zooey Deschanel?

  3. Swfcdan says:
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    Tend to agree with you about his limited power upside, but then Trea is another toothpick and he suddenly decided to hit bombs upton arriving at the show. Is there a glossary term for those guys that shock us all? My term would be ‘studdenly’.

    Side note: I like how viewing some of your long chat convos in the comments on phones can become so narrow that they basically become like 1 letter on each line. Would ask you why it does that but hey its funny!

    • Big Odio says:
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      @Swfcdan: turn your phone the other way

      • ChiCitySox23 says:
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        @Big Odio: I tried that but now Im looking at the back of my phone

        • Big Odio says:
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          @ChiCitySox23: HA! Rotate it 90°…by any chance do you ask a lot of catcher questions?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Swfcdan: Studdenly! Haha, I like it

  4. Big Odio says:
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    I like where you were going with the prostitutes. I think it’s more like the “your father gets you a bunch of prostitutes to get you ready for high school then sends you to an all boys school”

      • Big Odio says:
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        @Grey: this is fun let’s do another “you go to college to be a professional writer and you end writing a blog”

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Doesn’t track as well…. You go to a community college where you get straight A’s and you get out and can only get a job with your father…

          • Big Odio says:
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            @Grey: bad example. Maybe you overpaid at a 4 year university only to move back with your parents and the best you can do is either work for your dad or stock shelves at Walmart during the graveyard shift

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Nah, it’s gotta be easy then hard. You go to Trump University then lose $400,000 on bad investments

              • Big Odio says:
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                @Grey: and then dont show anyone your taxes

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Or marry Tiffany Trump

                  • Big Odio says:
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                    @Grey: is that the ugly one with the smashed face?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yeah, poor girl, I mean, not poor

                    • Big Odio says:
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                      she could be your next sugar mama

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Oh I’d take that in a second, you wouldn’t?

  5. ChiCitySox23 says:
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    I think you hacked my dynasty league minor league roster to go though your write ups. Margot, Reed, Voglebach, Murphy, Giolito, Benintendi….
    If you preview Bradley Zimmer tomorrow I’ll yell Bingo and be set for the offseason.

  6. Big Odio says:
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    I just realized 2 minutes ago that I’m disappointed in you. All these rookie posts and not one mention of the infamous Lloyd McClendon “man muscles”….why grey…why!?!?!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Why would I mention man muscles?

      • Big Odio says:
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        @Grey: you disappointed me again

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha, not sure why but this really made me laugh… I kinda get your point. Man muscles should always be mentioned, my bad

          • Big Odio says:
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            @Grey: all rookies need a man muscles development o go next level or the questioning of said muscles. I’m glad my disappointed remark gives you a laugh.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Man muscles should never be underestimated

              • Big Odio says:
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                @Grey: or the lack there of

            • Ralph Lifshitz

              Ralph Lifshitz says:
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              @Big Odio: What about Yoan Moncada? Man muscles fah daze kid!

              • Big Odio says:
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                @Ralph Lifshitz: Him and Eloy have got their man muscles pass

  7. Squat Cobblers says:
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    Thanks Grey for your prospect takes. Good stuff as always!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem

  8. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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    Stupid Uber

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Right?! Lyft has actually been much cheaper the last few times I’ve checked both for a ride

      • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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        @Grey: Uber trying to take away hard working Americans’ jobs with Skynet.

          • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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            @Ralph Lifshitz: Haha, never thought I’d see the day. Actually I’m just bitter because they didn’t hire me earlier this month.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I heard one thing in San Fran while in a Uber that I don’t think a lot of people talk about…. I said to a driver that I liked his car, what year was it… Turned out to be a 2015 and it already had 85,000 miles on it

          • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
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            @Grey: That’s brutal. Hope that extra cash is enough for him to take the bus when his car is broken down.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              It’s basically a deal with the devil, if you think about it… You need to have a newish car to work for them, then when you work with them for a year, your car is no longer new so you need to keep working with them to lease another new car

              • Big Odio says:
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                @Grey: anyone with half a brain should be able to figure it out….but they don’t.

                Increased mileage depreciates the value of your car and makes your service clock go up….said to some moron in a mocking tone..not you, the other morons who do this and run their cars into the ground.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  It’s actually sad how much Uber abuses its drivers, but maybe I just got the feels today

                  • Big Odio says:
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                    @Grey: and last I checked there are three insurance companies that allow you to be an Uber driver in the country, even though they pick up the insurance while you are driving someone, most carriers won’t write your insurance so if your insurance company finds out they will cancel you

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Oh wow hadn’t even known about that added caveat…

                    • Big Odio says:
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                      They know everything. Some base your mileage off your service records so you can’t lie to them.about how much you drive anymore. Shit when I write a new auto policy it will tell me not only who lives in your house but anyone else before you.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Damn, you’re Big Brother

                    • Big Odio says:
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                      freedom of information act blew a lot of things open. Its nuts what we find out on our end.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I’m so in the dark about so much of this stuff, had no clue

  9. Big Odio says:
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    The Marlins changed the name of their AAA minor league affiliate to the Baby Cakes..So the next time Giancarlo is doing a rehab assignment, because you know he will, you can call him my baby cakes

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      *drool* what a sexy name!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Are they sponsored by Hostess?

  10. buck says:
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    Gotta love this –
    [email protected]
    Hey @MLB I thought I was the only person allowed to fuck @JustinVerlander ?! What 2 writers didn’t have him on their ballot?

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