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In an incredible turn of events, I’ve done all the infield 2017 fantasy baseball rankings.  Less incredible, you’ve read them all.  It’s like that time your favorite team won because they played better than that other team but you convinced yourself they won because you cheered loudly.  When I win the Fantasy Baseball Blogger of the Millennial in 2099, and my frozen head is accepting the award, I’m going to thank you, the readers, but I’m secretly going to be thanking myself.  Without me, none of this would be possible.  You’re a close second though!  Okay, enough ranking you and me, let’s rank some outfielders!  Last year, there was one outfielder I said I didn’t want in the top 20, Andrew McClutchin’ His Knee.  This year, well, let’s save it for the post!  All my projections are listed by the players and where I see tiers starting and stopping.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2017 fantasy baseball:

1. Mike Trout – Went over him in the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball.

2. Mookie Betts – Went over him in the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball.

3. Kris Bryant – Went over him in the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball.

4. Bryce Harper – Went over him in the top 10 for 2017 fantasy baseball.

5. Trea Turner – Went over him in the top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball.

6. George Springer – Went over him in the top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball.

7. Charlie Blackmon – Went over him in the top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball.

8. Starling Marte – Went over him in the top 20 for 2017 fantasy baseball.

9. Giancarlo Stanton – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until here (after J.D. was injured).  I call this tier, “HBI.”  By the tier name I mean, this is a chance for a Hot Bat Injection before getting to the old doodes.  Plus, I’d let these guys give me an HBI, the Urban Dictionary definition of HBI.  Sometimes I call up a phone sex line and say, “Can you pretend you’re Giancarlo and you’ve just hit your 50th homer?  No, no, no.  Make it a line drive over the right field fence.  No, you can’t catch the home run in your breasts if you’re Giancarlo in this scenario!  Besides that’s not sexy!  You’re liable to get hurt.  Let me catch his donger-ball.  Oh, yeah, damn, that’s nice.”  I know, it’s silly to continue to have hope in Giancarlo, and, realistically, he’s headed for one of the most disappointing careers considering he could’ve had 35+ homers every year for the last seven.  He needs to turn things around this year, otherwise his failed promise will be all anyone ever talks about.  Well, that and his buns.  2017 Projections: 84/38/103/.253/1 in 529 ABs

10. Nelson Cruz – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Trumbo.  I call this tier, “Catch 22.”   Outfield got old.  It didn’t happen overnight, but it feels that way.  You go to sleep as a kid, and your best friend is Jared Rushton and you wake up old AF, arthritic and yelling the music is too loud, but you can’t hear it when it’s not loud.  You’re in a terrible Catch 22.  Welcome to this tier. Really, this tier could go into the top 40, but I broke this tier up into mini tiers, because these guys are all bonded by more than their same gray-haired characteristic.  This tier vs. the next tier of old guys in the top 40 outfielders?  The next tier scares the bejesus out of me.  You can guess some of those names.  This tier only scares the baby bejesus out of me.  A small bejesus, if you will.    As for Cruz, he just hit 40-plus homers for the third straight season.  Yes, he’s old, but maybe he found the Fountain of Youth.  Or Fountain of Yute, if Joe Pesci is reading.  2017 Projections:  88/33/98/.265/1 in 537 ABs

11. Ryan Braun – You know what you need for this tier?  Just for Men mustache dye?  Yes, but you know what else?  You need to pick up a guy off waivers at least once a year to fill-in for them.  If you picked up wisely last year, Braun’s lineup slot could’ve nabbed you 35 HRs and 20 SBs and a .300+ average.  If you’re thinking, “Yeah, sure, if you picked up Villar off waivers.”  Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, you jerk!  I hate hypothetical you!  No, you didn’t need Villar, Braun hit 30 HRs, stole 16 bags and hit .305 last year in only 135 games.  Yeah, he was that good last year.  2017 Projections:  82/25/89/.291/14 in 505 ABs

12. Yoenis Cespedes – Honestly, or more appropriately, Yoenisly, he’s been the most consistent player that I can think of over the last three years, but, for some reason, I can only think of two players:  Carlos Gomez and Cory Spangenberg. Will Yoenis hit 27-35 homers, .260-280 and steal three to seven bases?  Yes, and three to seven is also an Arkansas area code.   Those are facts!  The one big unknown with Yoenis and where he derives a lot of his value is in the counting stats’ department.  Nothing you can do if the Mets only give him 70 runs and 75 RBIs instead of 90+.  Driving around in a Camaro wearing a wife beater won’t help him.  We know this because every Mets fan has tried that already.  2017 Projections:  86/29/97/.278/5 in 550 ABs

13. Mark Trumbo – In late-January, the waiting game finally ended with Trumbo re-signing with the Orioles.  Not being able to sign with a team for four months doesn’t give anyone confidence.  If they don’t want him, why do I?  I understand that feeling you’re getting.  It’s like any good PUA will tell you, you don’t want to be the one getting negged.  Trumbo needs to re-read The Game, because Neil Strauss and/or Mystery would not have stood for the negging Trumbo dealt with all winter.  Mystery would’ve told him, if no one wants you, then put your boa back in your boa drawer, and stop acting so desperate!  I wanted to fall hard in the ‘anyone who drafts Trumbo is a sucker’ camp.  The contrarian in me alone wanted to make Smores in that camp.  The thing is, Trumbo’s always been a 35 homer hitter.  Is he a 45-homer one like he was last year?  No, that’s silly.  His HR/FB% shot up.  He did get more lift on the balls he hit, but let’s revert him to career norms.  40% fly ball rate and 20% HR/FB.  That gives him 32 homers.  So, he’s plus or minus five homers on that realistically.  Yes, obvi he can hit a lot more.   What else is there?  Steals?  Not really.  Runs and RBIs?  Sure, but that’s contingent on the O’s and kinda out of his hands.  Average?  More in his hands.  He hits too many ground balls for his not-a-runner’s body to have a great BABIP and few line drives.  He hits the ball hard, but on the ground or in the air.  He’s similar to Pujols, Khris Davis and Carlos Santana.  What are those guys?  They’re .250 hitters.  That’s Trumbo too.  So, I thought I was going into this year thinking Trumbo might be overrated, and he still might be, but it’s more about what others are expecting of him.  I know what to expect.  2017 Projections:  81/33/95/.252/2 in 557 ABs

14. Gregory Polanco – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the top 40 outfielders for 2017 fantasy baseball.  I call this tier, “IDWTFLISFSITOBHWR.”  Which obviously stands for:  I Don’t Want To Feel Like I’m Struggling For Sexy In The Outfielders, But Here We aRe.  Don’t ask why the acronym used the first letter of every word then uses an R for are.  Don’t question acronyms, in general.  It’s not your job.  So, yeah, I didn’t wanna have to rank Upton, Bautista, CarGo, and some other old outfielders in the top 20, so I decided to break it up with more interesting names.  Don’t worry, when I do the top 40 outfielders tomorrow, you’ll get them all.  As for Polanco, reminds me a bit of a great pitcher.  Think Scherzer.  The Ks are there when he was young, he just needed the rest of the puzzle to fall into place.  Polanco’s the same.  We’ve gotten pieces:  20+ homers last year; 25+ steals two years ago.  Now put them together!  In my gut, I say Polanco is a top 20 overall player just waiting to bust out.  You don’t often have 25/25 potential with upside from there.  Polanco does.  Long live Brocktune!  2017 Projections:  77/23/89/.262/24 in 572 ABs

15. A.J. Pollock – Here’s a riddle for you:  if Pollock had followed up his huge 2015 season with a terrible, but healthy season last year, would he have fell further in the 2017 rankings then he did by just not playing?  My thoughts:  I kinda want ramen for lunch.  My on-topic thoughts:  Pollock is higher in rankings by not playing than if he would’ve played poorly.  We still don’t know if his 20/39 season is repeatable.  I didn’t think it was repeatable last preseason, and still don’t, but I did project him for 14/27 last year coming off his 20/39 season, and, relatively, he still looks like that hitter to me.  Maybe his new normal is 10% HR/FB with a 32% fly ball rate vs. an under-9% HR/FB pre-2015 or 13% in 2015.  10% HR/FB with 160 fly balls (~30% Fly ball rate) is still only 16 homers.  So how many Pollocks does it take to hit 20 homers again?  One to hit the ball and seven hundred to dig up the outfield fences and move them in fifteen feet.  2017 Projections:   97/16/61/.273/26 in 581 ABs

16. Wil Myers – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2017 fantasy baseball.

17. Christian Yelich – He holds the new modern record for the most home runs with the lowest fly ball rate (since 2000).  You don’t need a pocket protector and solar calculator to figure this out.  If a guy doesn’t hit fly balls, he’s not going to hit home runs.  Pretty straight forward.  Only one player ever (since 2000, but ‘ever’ sounds better, and it was easier for me to research) hit 15 homers with a fly ball rate at 20% or lower — Cap’n Jetes.  Jeter and Yelich actually profile pretty closely.  Lots of ground balls, no fly balls, both like their girls in their teens, only Yelich is a teenager so it’s understandable.  2017 Projections:  87/15/92/.303/17 in 585 ABs

18. Jackie Bradley Jr. – Fun fact!  Jackie Bradley Sr. once walked three times in a day, according to his FitBit.  I fully expected to look at JBJ’s peripherals and think that he played way over his head last year with 26 HRs and 9 SBs.  I came away thinking Betts was playing more over his head than Bradley.  Sorry, old habit of needing to put down at least one Red Sox player if promoting another one.  Bradley’s HR/FB% was a little high, but not especially if you throw out his lost year in 2014 when he hit only one homer in 127 games.  Since then, he has 36 homers in 230 games or one homer every six or so games.  Not talking Giancarlo here, but for a guy with 10-steal speed and a .270 average, JBJ’s a lot more interesting than I expected and I don’t think last year was a fluke.  Porcello’s year?  Now that was a fluke.  Sorry, old habits.  2017 Projections:  82/27/92/.271/8 in 567 ABs

19. Max Kepler – Already gave you my Max Kepler sleeper.  It was written while pasting a picture of Denzel on my face.  2017 Projections:  74/23/85/.266/14 in 548 ABs

20. Carlos Gonzalez –  This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until top 40 outfielders for 2017 fantasy baseball.  I call this tier, “Boring, and I didn’t misspell boing.”  This is another old as dirt tier that I wanted to separate from the gray-haired tier in the top 20 outfielders.  Not because these guys are older, but because they have less upside and are more boring.  Drafting these guys kinda feels like sending flowers for an anniversary.  It’s nice, but you kinda phoned it in, didn’t you?  As for CarGo, I know, I know, I know!  I keep saying you can’t go wrong with Rockies hitters.  Get as many you can!  So, I would draft CarGo, but A) He’s old and brittle.  B) I don’t know if he’s going to be on the Rockies all year.  C) There’s no C.  D) Why would you think there’s a D if there was no C?  To give you a little insider info about how my ranking of CarGo went.  I ranked him at 13th overall, then got cold feet about his 25-homer previous season, moved him down to 19th, then thought Coors and moved him up to 15th, then thought about his health and a possible trade and moved him here.  And that’s how this CarWent.  2017 Projections:  83/27/91/.278/3 in 580 ABs