Hunter Renfroe, or as Scooby-Doo calls him ‘Hunter Renfroe,’ is gorge. I’m a smitten kitten hanging from a string on an inspirational poster that reads, “Hang in There.” Why so gorge? Or better still, why does he make me engorged? Actually, that’s not better, and I apologize profusely as Johnnie Cochran or Gorilla Monsoon would say. Why is it that Johnnie Cochran and Gorilla Monsoon are the only ones ever to use the word profusely? I’m gonna be the third person to use it, profusely. So why gorge? Have you seen Renfroe’s swing? Or as Scooby would say, “Have you seen Renfroe’s swing?” Here it is:
I wanna watch the first 5 seconds of that over and over again, but as Cougs will tell you, I’m good for at least 15 seconds. That home run was only measured at 413 feet. I’m guessing the guy that walks, heel to toe, out from home plate to where the ball lands, lost count. That’s an easy 470 foot homer if I’ve ever seen one. That’s right, I measure with my eyes! *cabinet behind me collapses* Oops, might’ve measured wrong. In 11 games last year with the Padres, Renfroe hit 4 homers and .371. Okay, he’s a Padre, I get it, but I’m profusely interested. Anyway, what can we expect from Hunter Renfroe for 2017 fantasy baseball?
Please, blog, may I have some more?