Grey

Bailey Ober, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 11, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 79 Comments

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Bailey Ober gave up a lot of home runs. 20, to be exact. That was only in 92 1/3 IP. His 1.95 HR/9 made me choke on my boba. That alone is a crime punishable by “not getting a fantasy baseball sleeper post written for him.” Bailey Ober’s pitches generated a 19.7 Launch Angle. If you’re going to allow a 45.8% fly ball rate, which would’ve been 2nd in the league, if he qualified, you kinda can’t be allowing a Ding Dong Parade. By the way, a Ding Dong Parade is the all-male revue your wife went to during her bachelorette party; don’t shoot the messenger. “Ding Dong” Parades is a weak-hitting shortstop in the Mexican Fall League, different guy. Also, a Ding Dong Parade is not what you want to see from a pitcher or Bailey Ober’s xERA at 4.48. Reach for the Remote Control, get Ober off my TV.

Bailey wasn’t like the other kids. (REMOTE CONTROL!)
Stop allowing homers is what mattered, nothing else did. (REMOTE CONTROL!)
Fantasy baseballers said “yes” but he said “no”. (REMOTE CONTROL!)
Now he’s in this game and just like that he’s down 4-0. (REMOTE CONTROL!)

I will now grin like an idiot as I try to defend why we’re even talking about Ober. Stop giving up homers, Bailey Ober! Oh my God, I just realized something, Bailey Ober is really Homer Bailey Ober. Goodbye, friends, I’m going to walk into traffic. But first! So, what can we expect from Bailey Ober for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Bailey Ober sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve finished my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings and they’re all available on our Patreon. Anyway II, the Bailey Ober sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Mon 8/11
ARI | ATH | BOS | CHW | CIN | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIL | MIN | NYY | PHI | PIT | SD | SF | STL | TB | TEX | WSH | ATL | BAL | CHC | CLE | MIA | NYM | OAK | SEA | TOR
Grey

Razzball Version 2.75

January 10, 2022 | 2022 Fantasy Baseball | 51 Comments

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“I’m squinting real hard, but I can’t see the site design from 2010 anymore? What is the meaning of this?”

That’s you. Welcome to Razzball Version 2.75! We’ve done a little update to the site. Wow-ee-wee-wow!

Two-point-oh is defined by Merriam-Webster, “adjective used postpositively to describe a new and improved version or example of something or someone.” Pretty cool that the little kid from Webster has his own dictionary. Emmanuel Lewis lives forever in our hearts! *googles Emmanuel Lewis* Oh, he’s still alive. That’s surprising. Never the hoo! So, how is this 2.75 and not 2.0? Great question, awkward expositionary question! Because we already did one update, so you were looking at 2.0 all that time! Who knew? Some true heads. Here’s a screenshot of our site from the Way Back Machine. This 1.0 screenshot makes me laugh very loud:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Itch

Oakland Athletics Top 10 Prospects for 2022 Fantasy Baseball

January 9, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 29 Comments

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Don’t tell anyone I said this: I like this system for our game. It features pieces of all shapes and sizes, most of them cheap for us. The ones who should be rostered in dynasty leagues mostly aren’t, while several players who probably shouldn’t be rostered are. It’s an odd assortment of talent, and I had a lot of trouble trimming this list down to ten, balancing the old-for-level, close-to-the-majors types with the distant-upside teeny boppers. In line with my typical play style, I erred toward the near term partly because opportunity should abound in Oakland over the next couple seasons. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Steve Paulo

RazzSlam 3: Deuces Wild!

January 6, 2022 | Featured, RazzSlam | 25 Comments

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Aloha, salutations, greetings and WAAAZZZZAAAAAAA?!?!? (remember that?!) to everyone out there in fantasy baseball land! My name is Steve, and I’m taking the reins when it comes to talking about the RazzSlam at you from our esteemed editors, Blair and Donkey Teeth. Why, you might ask? Because they’ve got far more important things to do with their time. I’m like an intern. I’m like Season 2 Greg the Egg: just keeping the lattes flowing.

So why am I here, and why are you reading this? Well… I can’t really answer the second question, which might require some introspection on your part, but as to the first, I’m here to tell you all about RazzSlam 3: Deuces Wild!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Itch

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Top 10 Prospects for 2022 Fantasy Baseball

January 5, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 37 Comments

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All due respect to Tony Danza and Danny Glover, those Angels should’ve been in the front office. Aside from the happy accident of winning the Shohei sweepstakes and landing a generational player in Mike Trout, L.A. of A’s developmental system hasn’t generated much proof of life. Or happiness. Where’s young Joseph Gordon-Levitt and forever-old Christopher Lloyd when you need them? 

By the way, quick trivia question: Which of these three actors is in the film Angels in the Outfield? 

A) Matthew McConaughey 

B) Adrian Brody

C) Dermot Mulroney 

Cue the Jeopardy jam. (RIP Alex)

(Pause for effect.)

I hope you like trick questions because all three of these guys were in the movie! What a film! Can we get going on a sequel already?

Might as well take a look at the Angels in the farm system while we wait.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Tanner Houck, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 4, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 48 Comments

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I saw Tanner Houck had a slider that produced a .142 xBA and I gulped, then I went looking for some examples. Enjoy:

When a hitter is swinging at a pitch that’s either so far off the plate that the catcher can’t get to it or if it hits their back leg, it’s so nasty. Or simply S’nasty, which is Tanner Houck’s new name. S’nasty is basically Chris Sale from the other side, who was like Mr. S’nasty Sr. He was S’nasty before S’nasty. Yes, I’m comparing Houck to a guy who was the fastest to 2,000 strikeouts in history. That’s heady company, which sounds like what a pimp would name his LLC. Now, what made/makes Chris Sale nasty is/was he can’t/couldn’t be hit by lefties or righties. Naturally, he’s much harder for lefties. His career mark is .202 vs. lefties and .223 vs. righties. Bringing that up for a reason, can imagine if S’nasty Jr. aka The Incredible Houck is that good vs. righties? For those slow on the uptake, there’s more righties! If Houck is as good vs. righties as Sale is vs. lefties, then Houck’s about to have himself a few Cy Young awards and become a top five starter in the league. So, what can we expect from Tanner Houck for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Tanner Houck sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve finished my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings and they’re all available on our Patreon. Anyway II, the Tanner Houck sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Donkey Teeth

Not Not New Podcast: Licking the Television

January 3, 2022 | All Podcasts | 2 Comments

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Attention Razzballers! The Not Not News Podcast is now available 100% free of charge! Subscribe to the Not Not New Podcast on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.

It’s your favorite hour of the week!  The Not Not News is back with all the Billy Hurley jokes and Grey Albright cackles you can handle. On this week’s show, a driver crams himself into the world’s smallest car for an epic journey and ham sniffers push their noses to the limit. Later, a diner finds a full chicken head in her KFC hot wings and scientists create a TV screen that you can taste!


Listen to the entire show below, now 100% free of charge!

Here are this week’s stories so you can follow along:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Sean Manaea, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 3, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 47 Comments

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Let’s start here:

Not sure why it’s so visually pleasing to watch a pitcher strikeout guys, but, mah gawd, I could watch that all day and twice on Muesday, the magical day that Narnia’s itself between Monday and Tuesday. So, Sean Manaea, the real-life Girl Scout cookie–*intern whispers in ear*…not Samoan as in the cookie? Okay, will be researching that further. But he’s more of a snack than Lars Nootbaar. *intern walks away* Are you quitting? But who’s going to toss boba into my mouth from ten feet away so I can yell, “Score?” Sean Manaea throws three pitches a sinker (60%), a change (24.4%) and a curve (15.6%). His basic numbers were 11-10/3.91/1.23/194 in 179 1/3 IP. Solid 9.7 K/9 and 2.1 BB/9, but overall kinda yawnstipating. What are we even doing here? I need flash! I need intrigue! I need spice! But not turmeric, because that shizz stains everything. I’m sorry, I love you yellowy spice, but my pots and pans look like my dog, Ted, urinated on them! So, what can we expect from Sean Manaea for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Sean Manaea sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve finished my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings and they’re all available on our Patreon. Anyway II, the Sean Manaea sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Itch

Houston Astros Top 10 Prospects for 2022 Fantasy Baseball

January 2, 2022 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 21 Comments

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Nobody beats the book like Houston. Their prospect lists require close-reading and separate buckets of research because you don’t want to miss Jose Urquidy or Luis Garcia if you don’t have to. Jake Meyers and Chas McCormick both popped from relative obscurity onto fantasy baseball rosters in 2021, and that looks like the way it’s going to go with Astros’ prospects. I don’t know what it is that keeps their guys underrated in general. I guess losing the picks to the cheating scandal didn’t help, nor did the cheating scandal (though it would be pretty hard to argue that it didn’t HELP help in a macro sense). Doesn’t matter for our purposes. The Astros have proven they can teach hitting with buzzers or without. Although they’re not highly ranked around the chamber, and spots are at a premium on the big league roster right now, this list has some of my favorite sleepers for near-term fantasy value, especially at the top. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jordan Montgomery, 2022 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 31, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 39 Comments

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As I said in the Gleyber Torres sleeper, calling Yankees sleepers is already a thin ice proposition. Who doesn’t know the Fawkees, dawg? They’re like covered by ESPN morning, noon and night, when ESPN is covering baseball, which is a bit more than badminton but way less than every other major sport. ESPN sees woman’s volleyball engagement on IG and is like, “Let’s spike our baseball coverage! High five me on the pun!” That’s someone in Bristol. Or maybe it’s because the Yankees had such an underperforming year in 21 after 20, but I’m finding some value this year in Yankees bats and arms, which brings us to Jordan Montgomery. I ain’t no JoMo, but I love what I’m seeing with this guy. Last year, he went 6-7/3.83/1.28/162 in 157 1/3 IP and had a 9.3 K/9 and 2.9 BB/9. Wait a minute, I went full hot-and-heavy on that? Kinda bleh, Previous Sentence Grey, kinda bleh. I hear ya, Current Sentence Grey, but you’re gonna wanna pay attention, because this guy is so close to tipping off into top 10 starter range. Like a horny set of conjoined male twins, I feel it in my bones! So, what can we expect from Jordan Montgomery for 2022 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Psyche! Before we get into the Jordan Montgomery sleeper post, just wanted to announce that I’ve finished my 2022 fantasy baseball rankings and they’re all available on our Patreon. Oh, and Happy New Year! Anyway II, the Jordan Montgomery sleeper:

Please, blog, may I have some more?