As I lay on my belly, adorned atop my plush rug with the head of Adam Silver, I noticed a glint of light out of my left eye. I slowly turned my neck like a sloth and began to smirk. One beacon after another began to Buddha Flame, producing a runway of light that could mean only one thing; baseball season is upon us.

I have been summoned to once again don my Waste Management uniform and dive into the trash cans of the fantasy streets to try and unearth some useful pieces of information. Grey and the fantastic crew at Razzball baseball got you covered with everything else, but you already know how dope they are.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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See all of today’s starting lineups

# MLB Starting Lineups For Thu 8/7
ATH | ATL | CHW | CIN | MIA | PIT | SEA | WSH | ARI | BAL | BOS | CHC | CLE | COL | DET | HOU | KC | LAA | LAD | MIL | MIN | NYM | NYY | OAK | PHI | SD | SF | STL | TB | TEX | TOR

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The best 2022 fantasy baseball team is a misnomer. Thankfully, none of us know what misnomer means. Sounds to me like someone tentatively wants to date the Travelocity Gnome’s daughter, “Miss Gnome, er, you wanna grab some boba and chill?” Miss Gnome brushes back her hair and bats her eyelashes that are almost as long as her two-and-half foot body, “I’d love to,” but her voice is high-pitched, which is a turnoff, so you cancel plans with her repeatedly until she gets the hint. Sorry, Miss Gnome, I like my women’s voices low like their stature. Any hoo! So the title is a bit of a superlative. What was I gonna say, “The Mostly Kinda Good Fantasy Baseball Team?” You’ll get over your scoffing; I have faith in you. This is the best 2022 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball and top 500 for 2022 fantasy baseball. Honestly, I could draft another 25 teams from those lists, and they’d all be different, but equally terrific… Well, one of the twenty-five would only be sorta terrific, but it would be really hard to tell which one that is. If I took Adalberto Mondesi in the 4th round, everything after would change. If I took Trea Turner in the 1st round, everything after would change. I’ve previously gone over my 2022 fantasy baseball draft prep for the first few rounds and pitchers pairings. For this exercise, I’m taking Ronald Acuña Jr. in the first, because, well, people complained previously I always did this post by taking the first pick, so I’m switching it up, like when you combover your hair right instead of left. My “Best Fantasy Baseball Team” from last year is hilariously awful, and I’ll show you that team later in this post. Oh, it’s so so so so so so bad. I mean, it puts everything in question. Like, was I dropped on my head last preseason?

As for this year’s best fantasy baseball team, until pick 100, I’m taking one guy somewhere in every fifteen picks. It would be nice if I was in a league where someone drafted Gerrit Cole and deGrom in the first round and I was able to take Shohei Ohtani in the 2nd round (which is likely in some leagues), but since Acuña and him are in my first 12 picks, according to the rules I’ve set up for myself, I can’t take them both. Then, as we all know, once you get into the 100s, there’s wide gaps between ADP and where players are actually taken. People tend to look at team need over value. So for this exercise, once I get to pick #101, I’m going to pick two players every twenty picks. Finally, because there is so much latitude in the latter rounds, I gave myself free rein to fill up my team after pick 200. Throughout the draft, I also gave myself the ability to reach to a lower draft pick, but not reach forward. Or reach around, if you’re feeling frisky. It should still be my ideal team…or not. Let’s see, shall we? Bee tee dubya, this team is a 12-team, 5×5, one catcher, 5 OFs, MI, CI, 1 UT, 9 P, 3 bench, just like the Razzball Commenter Leagues (go sign up, you Big Chungus). Anyway, here’s the best 2022 fantasy baseball team:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This post picks up where we left off Sunday when I posted the Top 25 Outfield Prospects for Dynasty Fantasy Baseball in 2022. While we’re here, I might as well include a quick link to all my work this off-season: 2022 Fantasy Baseball Prospects, the Minor League Preview Index. It’s been fun to explore the game system by system then position by position. Starting pitchers are coming up next, followed by relievers in one of my favorite articles to build every year (I’ve been working on it for weeks) before we ring in the new minor league season with a fresh list of Top 100 prospects. Can’t wait! This particular list could’ve gone on forever (in the sense that “forever” refers mostly to a pretty damn long time), but I stopped at sixty to avoid overstaying my welcome (I hope). If someone you expected to see isn’t on here please drop a line in the comments section.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For 2022, the weekly SAGNOF piece will be focusing mostly on the neverending search for stolen bases. Every week I will help you, the reader, to parse the waiver wire and track down the next player who will underwhelm in all categories except for speed. However, now we are in the magical fantasy land that is the offseason, where everyone is going to steal 20 bases and your latest build is destined to be one that leads the league in stolen bases. Yet we, unfortunately, all know that won’t be the case.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Here’s a post that’s gonna make you wanna slap ya mama and tell her Don Magic Juan sends his best. The other day I told you how to draft your pitchers for 2022 fantasy baseball. I laid it out to you nice and simple (if you have a degree in “What The Hell Is Grey Talking About?” Not a PhD, mind you. Just a BS.) Today, we forget all that jabberwocky on the who-ha and get down to business old school-style (which means if you don’t comprehend, I will hit you over the head with a baseball bat signed by Joe Clark.) What I’m hoping to lay out to you is who do you draft 2nd, if you’ve drafted so and so first. I think it might be helpful to go through pairings for your 5 outfielders, all your middle and corner infielders too. I’m not sure I’ll have the time or patience to do them. We’ll see! Or not. Your choice. (Actually, my choice.) For easy reference, the royal we will be using the top 10 for 2022 fantasy baseball, top 20 for 2022 fantasy baseball, and the beginning of the top 100 for 2022 fantasy baseball. I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5, MI, CI, 5 OF, 1 Utility, 1 Catcher league, similar to our Razzball Commenter Leagues. (Sign up for multiple leagues, and beat the heck out of your frenemies or make new frenemies!)  Anyway, here’s some pairings for the first two rounds of 2022 fantasy baseball drafts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you haven’t looked at any draft boards lately you may have missed that Hunter Renfroe is no longer in Boston. With all the drama of the CBA unfolding this winter it went a bit unnoticed; but, minutes before the lockout began the Red Sox made a deal with the Brewers and traded Renfroe for Jackie Bradley Jr and minor leaguers David Hamilton and Alex Binelas. Coming on the heels of former Brewer Avisail Garcia signing with the Marlins, Renfroe goes to the Brewers to fill the void in RF for the National League team that is soon to have a DH as well, maybe he finally sees 600+ PAs… my interest is piqued.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We’re desperately waiting for the owners and the MLBPA to get their negotiating on and get us some pitchers and catchers reporting ASAP.  While we wait, the Razzball Commenter Leagues are open and ready.  I am anxiously awaiting being half as productive at work and losing countless hours of sleep as I stay up to see which closer comes out of the Mariners bullpen so I can beat my league-mates to the waiver wire!  Football is fine and all, it fills the time from September to February but I always feel a little empty without baseball.  I am thrilled to be back for another season as your RCL tour guide.  The RCLs are a different beast than your standard 12 team mixer, so let’s go over what you can expect and why you should join us.  We’re not a cult…we promise.  I do think these are some of the most fun leagues around though, so grab some Kool-Aid and let’s get into it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Did you ever think we’d get to the end of the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings? You did? Wow, you had more faith than me. Some time around the top 60 outfielders for 2022 fantasy baseball, I thought we were gonna have to pack it up and start ranking something else, like the top 20 Reasons Why We Weren’t Finishing The 2022 Fantasy Baseball Rankings. 1. Lazy. Never the hoo! Here we are now! Entertain us! Wait, that’s my job. Now that I think about it, why is Nirvana saying “Entertain us?” They were the band supposed to entertain us. Wait, were their concerts just mass karaoke singalongs where the audience sang to them? Hmm, will research this and get back to you! So, from the 2022 fantasy baseball rankings, specifically the starter rankings, comes a need for this post:  The 2022 fantasy baseball pitchers’ pairing tool. This is where things get interesting! And by ‘interesting’ I mean massively confusing. If what you’re about to read were found scribbled in a notebook, the FBI would be watching me. If The Green River Killer stood up and read this at the next prison Meet N’ Greet, no one would blink an eye. Because, well, his company would prolly be all murderers too. Moving on!

For these pitcher pairings, I’m going to be using our (my) 2022 fantasy baseball rankings. Notably, the top 20 for 2022 fantasy baseball, the top 20 starters for 2022 fantasy baseballtop 40 starters for 2022top 60 starters for 2022, the top 80 starters for 2022 and top 100 starters. You can also just get Rudy’s downloadable War Room by signing up for the Subscriptions. Okay, formalities out of the way. *rolls up sleeves, makes farting noise with hand under armpit, rolls down sleeve* Let’s get busy! Now, what is a pitcher pairing? It’s your plan for putting together a fantasy pitching staff. A course of action, of course — of acoursion, naturally. If you have A pitcher, which B, C, D, E and F pitcher goes with him? Which is different than ‘F this pitcher,’ that’s what you say by end of April after one of your starters gives up five earned in two-thirds of an inning. You should have six starters. The sixth starter is, well, Bailey Ober comes to mind. Or Tony Gonsolin. Cristian Javier also comes to mind. Triston McKenzie anyone? I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5 and some variation of 9 pitcher leagues like the Razzball Commenter Leagues, which are now in the process of filling up. Put on your pants and look presentable! Anyway, here’s pitcher pairings for pitching staffs for 2022 fantasy baseball drafts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In that dark apocalyptic nightmare that we called 2021, there was a light shining brightly upon the firm buttocks of Robbie Ray, who illuminated our world with a cheeky Cy Young Performance. Why use this as my lede? Because last year, I was brazen enough to look at Robbie Ray — a player who was being drafted as SP5 on in 24-team leagues — and see a Top 50 pitcher. Do I have any other tricks up my sleeve or am I just Simple Minds hoping that you won’t forget about me when I don’t produce any successful brazen takes in 2022?

For “brazen” takes, I want to move beyond the typical “bold” takes that flood the blogosphere. You’re not going to win your league by drafting players who are just OK. You want the players who are massively outperforming their draft position — or who look like obvious avoids, like that roller grill hot dog that clearly has a coffee stain on it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Picture this. I’m sitting in my daughter’s pink Yogibo Pod X watching the Super Bowl when I hear a beeping noise coming from the kitchen. For those wondering what the hell a Yogibo Pod X is, it’s just a fancy term for a bean bag chair that costs more than two hundred dollars. I jumped up as quick as a 45 year old guy that’s been pregaming for the big game all day could, as I figured the beeping was my state of the art home alarm system. Never know who might be snooping in my windows trying to catch a glimpse of my 2022 points league early rankings. However, when I got to the alarm panel, I found all zones solid green. Figuring it must have been one of my daughter’s toys, I went back and parked my ass back in the expensive bean bag chair and continued watching the game as I worked on my rankings.

A few minutes later, shortly after Odell Beckham Jr. injured his knee, I heard the beeping noise again. What in the world is that I thought. I needed another drink so I decided to head into the kitchen to investigate. As I grabbed another Twisted Tea from the fridge I heard the beeping for a third time. To my surprise it was coming from the junk drawer. I hadn’t been in that drawer in forever. Intrigued, I opened the drawer and couldn’t believe what I found. My clear blue Motorola pager was actually going off. I haven’t been beeped since before Eminem signed with Dr. Dre! Who in the world could be beeping me? I couldn’t wait to find out. I grabbed my cell and dialed the number.

“I got beeped from this number,” I said when they answered the phone. “malamoney, it’s Grey. We need some points league rankings as soon as possible,” said Grey. “You got it,” I replied as I hung up the phone. Now listen, I knew Grey was awesome, but I had no idea he was “I’ll beep you in 2022” awesome. I have no idea how long I’ve been writing for Razzball, but I’m happy to be back. MLB lockout aside, it’s about that time that I start preparing for my points leagues, and as I do, I’m always happy to share my findings with all of you Razzball-lites. Or is it Razzballians? I did participate in a head-to-head mock draft with the experts over at CBS last week and I will be sharing the results of that soon.

In the meantime, consider the following my initial attempt to put together points league rankings for 2022. These are going to change a bit over the next few weeks as I continue to dive deeper, but for now, here’s where I’m at.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Attention Razzballers! The Not Not News Podcast is now available 100% free of charge! Subscribe to the Not Not New Podcast on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts. It’s your favorite hour of the week!  The Not Not News is back with Billy Hurley, Grey Albright, and B_Don standing in as host for Donkey Teeth. We start […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?