Matt Olson wasted no time starting Atlanta’s rout of the Marlins on Friday night with a soaring 424-foot two-run bomb in the first inning to put his team ahead 3-0. The Braves never looked back, and Olson’s teammates did their best to match Matt’s power stroke, “Oh, we’re really doing this are we?” That was Eddie Rosario before he hit his 14th home run just two batters later making the score 5-0. Looking to join the fun, Austin Riley added his own bomb in the third inning. “You think this is easy?” That’s Matt responding to Eddie and Austin with his NL leading 28th home run in the fifth. No big deal. What’d you say this pitcher’s name was again? Poor bastard. Olson added another RBI single in the sixth before Sean Murphy showed what he could do with his own 459-footer, his 14th. That’s five home runs for the Braves if we’re keeping count and it’s 14-3 in the sixth inning. The Marlins fresh off a sweep of the Boston Dead Sox certainly got their reality checked by their division rival and best team in baseball. But wait, there’s more because the Braves also have Ronald Acuña, Jr. You better believe Tildaddy loves him some fourth of July weekend, “What about me guys?” That’s Ron before his 392-foot bomb in the 7th and that was the mustard on top of the ATL’s 16-4 victory. Hot dog! Matt Olson’s now slashing .246/.352/.572 with the 28 ding dongs and 67 RBI and he’s not even the best player in this lineup. That would be Acuña and his .334/.413/.595, 20 homers, 53 RBIs and 37 stolen bases. Mmm. I’d say they’re video game stats, but I couldn’t even come close to a .334 batting average in MLB the Show. Trust I’ve been trying! People forget this team is only one year removed from a World Series win, but you know who doesn’t forget that–Ronald Acuña, who had to watch his teammates win a World Series without him. Something tells me he’s not going to let his team win another without him. Carry us to the promised land, Ronald! Praise Allahson!
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Mike Soroka – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 7 K, 2 HR. He struggled in his first two starts this year earlier in the month so this was nice to see from Soraka. The ratios are tough to look at suuure and he’s allowed five homers in just 15.2 IP, but if the Braves can hit six homers in seven innings that’s a net positive right? According to my calculations, that means he could be worth a shot in Cleveland next week. It’s just simple math, folks!
Justin Steele – 6.1 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, BB, 6 K, 9th win. I keep reading how the Man of Steele’s velocity is down, but that’s not something I care about when he’s leading the league in ERA at 2.43. Keep lowering that velocity if you must, I guess, it’s working! Also, speaking of Man of Steel, David Corenswet is our new supes! Thoughts? I mean, thoughts besides, who tf is David Corenswet.
Christopher Morel – 1-for-4, HR (14), 3 RBI. THE POWER OF CHRIS COMPELS ME! If we’ve learned anything by owning Mushroom King Morel over the past two months it’s that he can be insanely streaky and especially unproductive when he doesn’t play. Still, this could be the start of another one of his patented home run barrages. He holds the team lead in home runs despite being called up halfway through May, and benched through half of June.
Nick Madrigal – 2-for-4, HR (1). Hit his first home run as a Cubbie on the eve of the day Grey told you to BUY. He’s got an .898 OPS in June and plenty of opportunity with Patrick Wisdom on the IL. I keep hearing about the “surging” Cubs and then I look at the standings and their last 10 games and I’m wondering if people are doing it ironically. What am I missing?
Seth Lugo – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 0 ER, 6 K, ERA at 3.59. Gave up an unearned run on this masterful piece of fielding by his outfield. Cue the Benny Hill music! I’ll give Grisham and Soto the benefit of the doubt and assume the exit velocity on Elly’s routine pop fly was so high that ball sailed and floated up there for what seemed like two or three minutes. That would mess with anyone’s ability to call the freakin’ ball. Right?
Graham Ashcraft – 6.2 IP, 3 hits, ER, 2 BB, 7 K. I mean, he’s basically the first place Reds Ace by default right now, perhaps he’s starting to act like one? I’ll take Abbott actually. The 7 strikeouts tied a season high and while he gets a juicy match up with the Nationals next Wednesday, I’d be crazy to trust him and his 6.66 ERA after one quality start. That’s the mark of the beast!
Alexis Diaz – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, BS (1). His first blown save after converting 22 straight. I guess we’ve given him the pass since it was his first time and the Reds ended up winning this one anyway. Graham Ashcraft’s gotta be kind of salty though.
Matt McLain – 1-for-5, HR (7), 2 RBI. OK, I think it’s pretty clear at this point we all want/require/need a Reds CityConnect jersey, the hard part is deciding which one of the hard-hitting rookies’ jerseys we buy! How do you even pick!? McLain and his game tying homer in 10th, certainly make a case. Wait, did you say game-tying hit, cause Elly De La Cruz can do that, too. He was 2-for-5, with the game tying two-bagger in the 11th! Hmm, 115.4 mph exit velo, okay well I think that makes my decision easier, I guess I’ll go with Ell–but, wait, cause hot shot rookie Spencer Steer sees your game-tying hits, and raises you a walk-off home run in the 11th inning! The Rally Reds do it again! The first team ever to have rookies hit both game-tying home runs and walk-off home runs in the same game. Well, that settles it I guess I’m buying three jerseys.
Juan Soto – 3-for-5, RBI. Tatis hit a go-ahead single in the 10th and the Pads were able to tie this one in the 9th but ultimately lost. They’re not quite as sad as the Mets, but they’re close in terms of disappointment. I blame this tweet referencing a Taylor Swift song on Taylor Swift Day in Swiftcinncati. Dear Juan, you know all too well that sounds like bad Karma to me.
Josiah Gray – 6.0 IP, 6 hits, ER, BB, 8 K, 6th win. If I don’t spend all my money this weekend on CityConnect jerseys for Reds rookies, or Eras tour merch, remind me to save some for money for a Josiah Gray RC cause I’m so sure my guy is gonna be great someday.
Cristopher Sanchez – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, ER, BB, 6 K. Nice, start for Sanchez but the Phils could provide him no support, morally or run-wise. His string of nice match ups comes to an end next week in Tampa, and it’s been real CS but time to say goodbye.
Hunter Harvey – 1.0 IP, 2 K, SV (7). There’s some bad closers you can add: Trevor May, Justin Lawrence, Andrew Chafin, etc., and then there’s good closers on bad team’s. Hunter Harvey falls into the latter, allowing just three runs all month with four saves and he should be owned before all those other jabronis mentioned.
Stone Garrett – 2-for-4, HR (4), 2 RBI. Stone rocked this one!
Carlos Santana – 3-for-4, walk-off HR (9). Smooth Santana was a BUY and honestly, I was a little shocked by how good he’s been. He’s batting .440 over the past week with 3 home runs and 7 RBI. He’s also slashing .287/.333/.543 in June and based on his walk-off celebration dance (wait for it…) he’s having the time of his life right now. Six homers in his past 19 starts! Yes please, I could use some of that. Considering how first base is such a barren wasteland riddled with fire and ash where not even light can escape, he’s worth a shot while he’s hotter than a Jennifer Lawrence romcom. She’s so funny and relatable haha! And if you’re intrigued by the prospect of someone’s parents paying JLaw to seduce their child you’re thinking what I’m thinking. Parents of the year!
Andrew McCutchen – 3-for-5, HR (10), 3 RBI. Dinger off the foul pole. How fun! Do I get extra points for that? Can someone explain the furries thing to me, other than when Cutch tweets “furries” miraculous things tend to happen? Also, he’s been doing this for almost 10 years apparently!? I need answers!
Freddy Peralta – 5.1 IP, 3 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Freddy might be one of the more unlucky pitchers this year, with his xERA sitting at about half a run less than his real ERA. The home runs have really killed him, letting up almost a home run more a game per nine than last year. So I’d like to say he’s a buy low, but I can’t until he stops giving up jacks.
James Paxton – 7.2 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 2 BB, 7 K. As bad as the Sawx have been James Paxton has looked mostly very good rocking a 2.70 ERA, 0.96 WHIP and 61/13 K/BB. Mmhm. I told you to BUY him back in May. Hey, that was pretty okay advice I gave that one time!
Jose Berrios – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 4 ER, 8 K, 6th loss. I mentioned how sad-sack the Mets and Padres have been but if we’re going to talk disappointing the BJays need to be in that conversation. Not even mentioning how their 1-4 hitters went hitless last night, their 2022 All Star starter struggled so bad he’s in Single-A, getting absolutely demolished! Hard to believe such a talented team has been so bad.
Masataka Yoshida – 3-for-4, HR (9), SB (4). Yoshi’s first official Canadian dinger, and it comes as the slam & legs. In Toronto, that means it’s served with fries, gravy, and only the squeakiest curds east of Manitoba, eh. Probably the longest home run I’ve seen him hit. He’s also hitting .571 (12 hits) in five career games versus the Jays, including three homers! That means a third of his home runs have come off the Jays!
Tommy Pham – 3-for-4, HR (9), slashing .284/.352/.511. Not sure if Pham is trying to demonstrate trade value in order to get traded, or playing hard so the team actually won’t trade him and he can stay in Queens. Either way, I think it’s pretty clear the Mets should definitely trade him.
David Robertson – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, 2 ER, BS (3), L. Good lord have mercy, June can’t end soon enough for the Mess. They end the month with a 7-19 record. That’s two less wins than the Oakland A’ss and just one more win than the Royals, whose payroll is about $250 million less than the Steve Cohen’s team. Nowhere to go but up, I guess.
Patrick Bailey – 1-for-4, HR (5). BUY. The go-ahead bomb extends his hitting streak to 8 games. I don’t know who your catcher is but he’s probably not slashing .322/.347/.557. Unless, of course, he’s Patrick Bailey.
Ronel Blanco – 5.0 IP, 4 hits, 3 ER, 4 BB, 2 K. With a great baseball name like Ron Blanco, the hope would be he’s shutting teams out. But that’s not exactly the case.
Jonah Heim – 1-for-4, HR (12), slashing .278/.330/.477. Hey now! You’re an all star!
Jon Gray – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 5 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, 4th L. Regression fairies have been coming hard for Gray lately after a stellar May. The fairies are confused by the federal holiday on the third. They think one day off is plenty, they hate the idea of a four day weekend and they will destroy your ratios.
Josh Jung – 1-for-3, HR (17). If you’re Jung like a Josh that means you hit the balls long and hard.
Aroldis Chapman – Traded to the Rangers. ‘Roldy is rocking a 2.45 ERA, 1.23 WHIP with an uptick in velocity over 2022, and was seen as one of the premier deadline targets for teams in need of bullpen help. I think Manager Bochy trusts Will Smith in the closer role, so I don’t see a change happening here but it certainly puts some pressure on Will Smith, but it’s not like they’re replacing him with Chris Rock.
Bobby Miller – 5.2, 5 hits, 3 ER, BB, 4 K, 4th win. Bobby had two rough starts after registering four great starts and now everyone is bailing on the rook? This is how rookie pitchers work, all. Ebbs and flows. Ups and downs. He gets the Pirates next week and that could be an ebb! Or is it a flow? Which one’s good?
Mookie Betts – 4-for-4, 3 runs, 2 HR (22), 4 RBI. Mookie Beast! Also walked twice so he reached base in all his ABs Friday night. He’s batting .400 with 4 homers, 2 steals and 10 RBI in the past week. Mookie will be in his first home run derby this year, which he was urged to participate in by his wife who basically understands this dude can do anything, and be the best at it. So why not win the derby? Make it happen, bestie!
Maikel Garcia – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 SB (13). BUY. Grey called him “a strong case for being the best pickup of the week,” just ignore the Royals uniform and the 0-for-12 slump he just got out of and focus on his eight steals in the past two weeks. It’s sad that this guy is hitting clean up for KC but hey, that can help your fantasy team! This dude flies!
Pierce Johnson – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, K, SV (13). Prince Albert’s probably second in the pecking order for saves behind Justin Lawrence but believe me when I tell you, you want no part of this bullpen.
Byron Buxton – 2-for-4, HR (14), 3 RBI, SB (7). Joey Gallo also hit his 14th. He’s got just seven hits in the past two weeks, but four of those hits have gone yard. If this is what a healthy season from BB looks like I think I’m all set.
Max Kepler – 2-for-5, HR (11) (ELEVEN), 2 RBI. BUY Kepler for Max power! Max has got eight hits over the past week with four of those being jacks. Is it me or are all the Twins bats basically the same player? Only Royce Lewis (3-for-5, RBI) is batting over .300 and its hard to believe this team is as bad as they are with the talent they have. But it’s even harder to believe they’re in first place–so what do I know!
Pablo Lopez – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, ER, 3 BB, 6 K. Pablo-Lo caps his June off with a 45/10 K/BB and 1.18 WHIP. He’s had some tough luck lately and gets the juiciest match up with KC next week. I’m buying!
Trevor May – 1.1 IP, 1 hit, ER, 2 K, HR, SV (5). All five saves came in June, folks! Pick him up if you hate yourself!
Luis Robert – 1-for-4, HR (24). Garbage time home runs are still home runs in all my fantasies.
Esteury Ruiz – 1-for-3, RBI, SB (42). Don’t look now Esteury, but Acuña is slowly gaining on you in the steals department. Ruiz still holds the MLB lead but it’s not looking like the runaway it was a few weeks ago! Pun absolutely intended!
Randy Arozarena – 2-for-4, HR (15), 2 RBI, slashing .288/.401/.484 . Randy! Randy! Randy! We love you, Randy!
Josh Lowe – 3-for-4, HR (12), 2 RBI slashing .290/.331/.517. Let’s Get Loud JLo! Dude is looking at a 20/30 season, perhaps, and that’s while being in a platoon! Manager Cash you absolute madman! Grey told you to SELL high, and now seems like perfect timing to shop him around.
Bryce Miller – 3.1 IP, 1 hit, 2 ER, BB, 6 K versus Shane McClanahan – 3.0 IP, 5 hits, 4 ER, 3 BB, K. Both starters left this one early and both are in danger of missing their next starts, with Shane-O-Mac likely headed for an IL stint. And if you own both of these guys and lost both in the frame of two hours my condolences, thoughts and prayers and I’m just glad there’s someone else out there who feels this pain, too. Why is this happening to me.
Griffin Canning – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 5 ER, 4 BB, 9 K. I do my fair share of Griffin Canning in my Hogwarts Legacy beast farm. Griffin’s are a finnicky beast and can be a real pain to can if I’m being real with you. Not worth the hassle when Puffskeins are so easily captured and flipped for sweet cash at the Brood and Peck. I’m running an absolute racket! As for the Angels pitcher, he had been really great up until Friday’s start, with opponents batting just .196 off him in June, but Arizona was able to tame the beast.
Lourdes Gurriel Jr. – 2-for-5, Grand Slam HR (13). You go, Gurriel! His second home run in as many days. Good Lourdes has a tendency to get insanely hot for stretches and right now might be the start of one of those. I’ll let you know tomorrow.
Tommy Henry – 5.2 IP, 4 hits, ER, 2 BB, 8 K, 5th win. The 8 Ks was a season high. His only blemish in this one was the Ohtani homer and well, c’mon, obviously! Should Ohtani bombs even count towards a pitcher’s ERA? I’m reluctant to recommend him but he gets the reeling Mets next week and I might consider the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I still don’t know for sure though!
Shohei Ohtani – 1-for-2, HR (30). The 490+ footer for the league leading 30th homer. Sweet sassy molassy! All the molassys! The shot was the longest of his career and the season, and the longest in Angel stadium history beating Bonds by 10-12 rows or something. I’m convinced if he entered the NBA draft he would have been drafted before Victor Wembanyama. Connor Bedard who? Blackhawks take Shohei at no. 1. He’s the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be, Brett Hart. The only real comp is Babe Ruth and on Tuesday Ohtani matched a record that hadn’t been touched since decades before Ruth was even born. The Ruth comp might even be insulting at this point. He should start his at bats with the Samurai helmet on because it will save everyone the time. He gets better every single day and he’s already the very best anyone has ever seen. He must look at Aaron Judge’s 62 home runs in 2022 and scoff, well what was his ERA? He needs to start the All Star game, WBC, World Series, just all of the things. Some team is going to give him a billion dollars, hopefully, mine, and he will still be underpaid. He caps off a historic June where he slashed .394/.492/.952, with a 1.444 OPS, 27 runs, 15 home runs, 29 RBI, and 4 steals. He also had two wins in five starts with a 3.26 ERA over 30.1 IP, opponents batted just .228 against him and his 37/11 K/BB. Pitching and hitting stats combined we’re looking at possibly one of the greatest months in fantasy baseball. Are you sick of hearing about him yet? Me neither.
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts, or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
