Me And Manaea Go Together Like Babies With Pacifiers

Yesterday, Sean Manaea went 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.30. Also, 10 times in this game I screamed, “Why didn’t I stream him?!” Streamonator sorta likes his next one, and give me all the Manaea streams. Please and mahalo! Know why? Let’s talk recent history. Last two starts for Sean Manaea 14 IP, 0 ER, eight hits, one walk, 21 Ks. Elias Sports Bureau said, “That’s cool, wanna see a dead body?” What the hell is going on with that company? Then Elias added, “Sean Manaea joins Tom Seaver and Dwight Gooden as the only pitchers in Mets history with 7+ IP, 10+ K and no runs allowed in consecutive starts.” That’s legit and nuts. The Mets aren’t exactly the Yanks with history, but they’ve had a lot great starters through the years. Only three pitchers have ever thrown a 7-inning shutout with 10+ Ks in two straight starts? Am I going crazy or does that seem impossible? Not is it impossible that I’ve gone crazy. I’m asking–Ya know what? It doesn’t matter! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jeff McNeil – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 10th homer. He’s hitting near-.320 in the last month with 5 HRs. McNeil has earned his place amongst the Who’s Who Of “Yeah, He’s Been Good, I Guess”ers. Veritable litany of “Just Better Than A Shrug”ers.

Nick Martinez – 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.43. And I did stream this guy. I’d stream basically anyone vs. the Marlins, White Sox or road Rockies.

Elly De La Cruz – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 19th and 20th homer. Wild on E! the Miami edition!

Noelvi Marte – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, as he hits 9th, hitting .170. Just barely got the ball over the Marlins’ outfielder (Placeholder Name). (Placeholder Name) did seem to even get a piece. Too bad, (Placeholder Name) is (usually/sometimes/never) a (terrible/great) fielder.

Ty France – 3-for-5 and his 9th homer. France loves Miami. Said in a very effete voice, “Hello, Fontainebleau.”

Jesus Sanchez – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer. Awesome work, (Placeholder Name)! Marlins fans really (despise/love/ambivalent) you!

David Festa – 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 5.55. Guys don’t have to Anglo-up their names for me, but it is a serious missed opp to not have him go by Dave Party. Any hoo! Dave Party has a promising next start via the Streamonator, and I see no reason not to twirl Dave Party out there. [blows noisemaker] Dave Party!

Andrew Heaney – 6 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.99. If you’ve started Heaney at any point this season, you have incredible bravery and/or marbles jingo-jangling in your head.

Alex Bregman – 1-for-5 and his 15th homer. Bregman is like clockwork if the clock’s hands are pointing to ’22 homers on the year’ and ‘.260 average.’

Hunter Brown – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.98. What’s kinda funny is I wouldn’t go anywhere near Heaney, but Brown is interesting to me. Basically same ERA. Guess as the sage, wisdom of Great White said, once bitten, twice shy. Also, in fairness, Brown’s turning frowns upside down since May when he turned his season around. 3.42, 1.16, 3.53 are his previous three months’ ERAs.

Corey Seager – 1-for-4 and his 23rd homer, and 2nd homer in two games, and 4th homer in the four games. Leave Dale Long’s Ghost alone, there was an off day there, then two homers four games ago. I gotta specify because I know we have some crypt keepers reading.

Josh H. Smith – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer, hitting .278, as he hits leadoff and plays left now that Josh Jung (1-for-3) has returned. I know what they’re doing and I appreciate it. See, when the Rangers bat around in an inning they can say they’re Joshing around.

Freddie Freeman – 1-for-4 as he returned from being with his wife and sick child, who thankfully is on the mend. Watched Freddie get choked up talking about his boy Max and how he’s doing better, and I felt like when I was at Benihana and the chef just made the onion volcano and it was shooting its steam right at me.

Teoscar Hernandez – 1-for-4,2 RBIs and his 24th homer. …and the Teoscar goes to…Teoscar! (Seems kinda fixed, to be honest.)

Aaron Nola – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.54 vs. Tyler Glasnow – 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.54. Elias Sports Bureau said this it the first time two starters ended the game with the same ERA since, “God knows.” Elias’s standards have really fallen.

Brady Singer – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 11 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.03. Tied his owners to the WHIPping post, but, if being honest, I can’t believe we got to August before his ERA went above 3. An absolute win for those that spent a ton on FAAB that first week of the season.

Vinnie Pasquantino – 1-for-4 and his 16th homer, 2nd homer in three games, and five homers in the last week. Vinnie doing it all for the gnocchi!

James Paxton – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.42. K-Pax is bax! (No, he’s not, but it’s catchier than James is less lames!)

Tyler Fitzgerald – 2-for-4 and his 12th homer, as he hit leadoff, hitting .314. Not being good until July 9th would make for an interesting NL ROY case. Seriously, Fitzgerald shows you that at any moment you can step in crap and find someone to help your team. Do not defecate in your office while you’re scrolling through waivers, it’s not what I meant.

Matt Chapman – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer, and 3rd homer in three games. Welp, Chapman’s on an April-like heater in August.

Zac Gallen – 7 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.75 vs. Logan Allen – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 5.56. This matchup was billed as “G/Allen. Punk Rock!”

Ryan Thompson – 1 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 2.30, as he blew another save. As I mention on this week’s podcast, it feels like what’s going to happen in Arizona’s pen is we get to Friday and they’re just like, “Ya know what? Just foolin’! Sewald is our closer! All a joke! Gotcha!” Though, Justin Martinez (1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.01) did get the save in the 10th inning, and there’s no reason why he can’t save games. (It matters because the DBags’ closer should get a lot of saves.)

Joc Pederson – 1-for-1, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer, and 3rd homer in four games, but yesterday’s homer was a pinch-hit jobber which is the problem with him. He platoons like Charlie Sheen in Platoon.

Ketel Marte – 1-for-4 and his 28th homer. Ketel’s gonna eff around and find 35 homers.

Gabriel Moreno – Hit his 5th homer then left the game with a strained groin. Damn, wait until you get home to celebrate.

JP Sears – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.35. Sung a’la I Fought The Law, “He got the Sux and the Sux suck.”

Ky Bush – 4 IP, 3 ER, as he made his MLB debut for the Shite Sux. [carving a golden God, dipping it in roast beef drippings because it’s Chicago, holding it up to the light to see the shine] Ky Bush, you are the answer to every White Sox fan’s hopes and dreams to end this losing streak that has reached–Welp, Ky Bush wasn’t the answer. Make it 21 straight losses! Longest losing streak since 1988. The Berlin Wall was still up, Die Hard was in theaters and La Russa was about to curse a totally different franchise than the White Sox, the same team that beat the White Sox last night. Check me out, I’m a regular ol’ Jayson Stark.