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(NOTE: THIS POST WAS RELEASED EARLY THIS WEEK ON OUR PATREON. IT’S $10/MONTH OR $13/MONTH WITH AN EXTRA WEEKLY PODCAST.)
So, this Buy/Sell is unlike other Buy/Sells — “Ma nish tah na Buy/Sell,” as Rowdy Tellez would say — this is different because this isn’t a waiver wire smorgasbord for the smorgas-bored. This isn’t guys to grab off waivers who are rostered in under 50% of leagues. Since there’s been very few games since my last Buy/Sell, that column still applies for most guys. A few under-50% rostered guys will show up here, but this is mostly for trading. Or as Michael Milken would call it, “Ripping off the other guy and/or girl.” Let’s start Milken’ing some stunods! (That sounds like someone who was hired to work for Jordan Belfort, but was like 40 years older than everyone else and struggled to fit in.) “Hey, Jordan, we’re Milken’ing them stunods now!” Ha, I’m snorting to myself. Any hoo! Josh Donaldson. Damn, I don’t even like this guy, but his Statcast numbers are about as sweet as you can find. He’s top 2% in the league for Exit Velocity; top 4% for barrels; top 10% for xWOBA and BB% and top 8% for xSLG and HardHit%. There’s no telling when a guy can get scorching hot, but by going off those numbers alone, Donaldson could be a 2nd half MVP. He is a clearcut guy who should be better. It’s time to Milken them like no udder! I am very juvenile. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Cal Raleigh – Wonder if Raleigh has any updates on Eloy. Ya know, because Eloy’s in Winston-Salem which is close to Raleigh. C’mon, let’s be a lot quicker picking up what I’m putting down. I’m not your dad picking up your dirty clothes. We are not related! Dot dot dot. I don’t think so, can I take your DNA? So, Raleigh, N.C., and the N.C. stands for “Not sure if he’s going to be playing on Concurrent days.” Without the catcher eligibility, I’d prolly ignore Raleigh, but his 9 HRs, .324 AVG in Triple-A is interesting at catcher, especially with the elite contact (12.6 K%).
Patrick Wisdom – His value won’t necessarily go up when/Bryant is traded or with Joc gone. Wisdom has 12 homers in 115 ABs. You expect it to go up from that? So, he’s casually a 60-homer hitter? Okay, you should get some Wisdom, but I don’t know if Patrick’s the answer.
Brandon Crawford – Yo, this post pOWNS, amiright? I’m totally digging into guys and you’re nodding your head and I’m like, “Yeah, man,” and I’m eyeing you sister and you’re like, “Stop doing that.” It’s just rad! Brandon Crawford is what is known as a Buy HIGH. See how I made the letters high too? Makes sense right? He has a top 6% xSLG and top 8% barrel rate. The Launch Angle is up, but that’s good because he’s hitting everything hard and bye-bye. He has his best walk rate of his career going, and top exit velocity. Honestly, I nearly left him off my top 100 for the 2nd half, but when I saw his numbers I was like, “This guy f*cks.”
Trey Mancini – Beyond the good story, and he is that, he’s also hitting the ball as well as he ever has. His xBA on fastball is .310-ish, near his career high; his overall xBA is .280; his max Exit Velocity is top 8% in the league and he’s squaring everything up (Sweet Spot % arrow up). The Launch Angle is mostly line drive-focused and he hits to all fields. So, power? Not first, but trying to boost your average in today’s game is far from easy, and Mancini can help. Tie your batting average to Turbo-Jettuccine Mancini!
Willy Adames – I love Willy! Haha, chuckle it up, Chucklehead! I do, and don’t make fun of me. I’m clearly going to “write” a Willy Adames sleeper post this preseason. I say write in quotes because I’m just going to grab a bunch of stuff I’ve written before and throw that shizz in quotes. Prolly will do same for Urias too. Give me all of your Willy and Urias! What? Uh… Any hoo! Adames, still strikes out a bit much, but I buy into the narrative he’s saying that he couldn’t hit at home in Tampa. He’s backing it up with doing well in his new home and I’d grab him, or trade for him.
Jorge Soler – Guessing you can just grab Soler off waivers in most shallower leagues, and you might not even want to, at least yet. Soler’s power is there but it’s not making direct contact to the Soler panels (his bat), and I need to move my roof over to the left so I can see the TV without scrolling bars and I’ve taken this metaphor too far what am I saying? His Barrel% is down, and his xBA is .217. It’s not all great, but Soler’s power should be much better, and why are my lights flickering still? Get off the analogy grid!
Jarren Duran – What’s up, you giant ding-dongs! Duran’s up! Here’s my Jarren Duran fantasy from a few weeks ago. Still mostly applies, terrible Duran Duran jokes and all! Did you grab Duran without even thinking? That’s called The Reflex. I have it too. There’s no league where I wouldn’t look to grab him. He could go 10/20/.270 in just the 2nd half, and there was a reason why I shoved him onto the top 100 for the 2nd half. If you’re wondering how this impacts the Red Sox, my guess is Enrisqué moves into a platoon with Arroyo and Duran plays the outfield. Unlike the Rays, I don’t think Duran’s called up to not play.
Jake Fraley – The numbers don’t jump off his page like some other guys in this post. O Fraley?! Yes, Fraley’s numbers look like a solid fifth outfielder, who I could see grabbing in shallower leagues, or trade for in deep leagues.
Jarred Kelenic – From Jorge to Jarren to Jake to Jarred, y’all gonna owe me a letter J for my keyboard. Kelenic is returning, per Mariners’ beat writer, and he should be rostered in all leagues. My Jarred Kelenic fantasy for more to chew on, but please with your mouth closed.
Joc Pederson – Keeping the J train rolling. Joc was traded to the Braves last night for a Single-A hitter named Bryce Ball, who is 23 years old and hitting .207. I am not even joking. Wait until Craig Kimbrel is traded to the Astros for Single-A catcher, Tomatillo Jones. Known mostly for his salsa — the dance, not the condiment. Joc should be a Buy in the new park, with a team that is currently playing Ehire dot com and Orlando Arcia in the outfield. This opens up a regular job in Chicago for Ian Happ, so that’s <question mark> good</question mark>.
Oscar Mercado – HAHAHAHAHAHA–Breathe, Grey, damn it, breathe! Oh, wow, I nearly lost consciousness laughing at the thought of picking up a player. I forget who the player is now because I blacked out–*sees Oscar Mercado’s name*–HAHAHAHAHAHA–*blacks out again*
Carlos Rodon – This is a buy high, but it’s a buy low. I will explain now in my most convoluted way possible. If you buy a high-end dishwasher, you clean your dishes once, and they get clean. So saves water. The machine cleans them and they don’t get chipped. So saves on replacements. Cleans the dishes so quick that your wife or mother or mother-wife doesn’t even get mad you don’t clean the dishes by hand. It was expensive, but is a good investment. Carlos Rodon is an expensive dishwasher. His stats — 13 K/9, 2.6 BB/9, 2.55 xERA — are basically those of a top three starter, and even if you pay full price, he’s worth the investment.
Tyler Mahle – Did some digging to find what his stats were in the 1st inning because I expected to have my mind blown with Mahle’s ERA over 8.00 in the 1st inning, but that wasn’t the case at all. He has a top 10 K/9, and an essentially neutral ERA. I could see getting him in a trade for a lot less than that considering I like Mahle a lot, and I didn’t even rank him in my top 100 for the 2nd half, and likely should’ve.
Sean Manaea – Not quite on the level of a top 10 to 15 starter-type peripherals but likely a cheaper option if you’re out looking at the starter market like you go antiquing. Also, was written a few months back, but still is accurate by the Coolwhip: his Sean Manaea fantasy.
Ross Stripling – Just a word of advice regarding my, uh, advice, I’m not 100% sure when guys are starting in the 2nd half, but this is a Streamonator call, like the call it makes to the Harvey Danger fan club.
Kwang-Hyun Kim – This is also a Streamonator call. “My legs were made of flagpoles, so I’m also a ‘Flagpole Sitta.’ Wanna be my friend?”
Tanner Houck – Also, being called up. So, you trying to win? Then karate kick the nearest person to you and charge into the wall right in front of you screaming, “This land is my land!” Good, now you’re appropriately pumped for the incoming prospects. I loved Houck perhaps a bit too much coming into this year, but now that he’s back, I’d grab him. He has sexy Ks, and might walk the farm.
Andrew Chafin – With Kimbrel likely traded in the next two weeks, Chafin should step in, which is better than stepping with Chafin. Stupid bathing suit liner!
Heath Hembree – Not only am I saying you should grab Hembree for saves, but it’s a full-throated endorsement.
Chad Green – Last weekend, everyone said, “Chad Green can’t be much worse than Aroldis!” Then Chad Green said, “Challenge accepted.” Aroldis Chapman is completely broke. My guess is it happened when Donkey Teeth traded him to me, and simultaneously put a hex on me, which also might explain why I find myself eating hay. Stupid Donkey curse! So, Chad Green did an epic shizzshow on Sunday, which means maybe if Lasagna is healthy again after the break (eventually?), he gets the next save. Maybe they try Aroldis again. It’s unclear. I’d guess Green, then Aroldis.
Ranger Suarez – The Phils’ pen is filled with so many poison pills it’s surprising to think one of the guys in there could be worthwhile, and I’m not convinced of it either. Suarez’s stats are 9 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, which is a Shruggy Emoji on a gondola with an Italian guy who alternates between hitting on your girl and singing terribly.
SELL
Randy Arozarena – You get rid of the 20-game sample of The Rice Bowl’s in the postseason, and The Rice Bowl doesn’t exist, because I wouldn’t even bother giving him a nickname. I don’t give scrubs with a .212 xBA and .289 xWOBA nicknames. Ya know what Randy Arozarena is? He’s what happens after the glory leaves. He’s the end of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Charlie gets the keys to the factory and Willy Wonka retires and Charlie’s got to do payroll. Randy’s doing payroll for Oompa Loompas! What a nightmare! I wouldn’t trade away Arozarena for a bus ride next to a guy putting on deodorant, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.
Lourdes Gurriel Jr. – I’ve been so patient with Lou-Gu-Ju. Prolly too patient if being honest. His Statcast page is painful. He’s hitting slightly worse than David Dahl. I will now cackle for 45 minutes until I’m carted away in a padded van. I’m not sure if you can even trade Lou-Gu-Ju.
Anthony Rendon – Something’s so broken with Rendon I’m unsure if I’m gonna be in on him next year at 200th overall. His stats kinda make Lou-Gu-Ju look like Cake Batter. Rendon’s got an awful walk rate, K%, HardHit%, WOBA, xBA, xSLG, Launch Angle and do I have to go on? I could clarify that those stats are awful “for him,” but whatever. See what you can get in a trade for him.
Hyun-Jin Ryu – Already wrote a sell on Framber and that still applies, but rather than rehash what you already know, outside of this quick rehashing, I present you Ryu. Is he a name that people think has more value than he does? They do, right? Good, then trade them Ryu. Liked him a lot coming into the year, but his numbers are all wildly down — 7.4 K/9, 2 BB/9, 4.07 FIP — and is very 4th-ish fantasy starter, maybe 3rd-ish, but is not ace-ish. It’s shizz-ish.
Mookie Betts – Very nearly wrote Miguel Sano as a Sell, then I removed him. Trying to keep this to guys you can actually get something back from in a trade. Any hoo! It’s not all bad on Mookie. I kid about terrible trades you should not make. But Betts — Butts? — is not a sell at all costs. He is struggling across the board, though. xSLG way down; xBA way down; Ks up; barrel% is wildly low, and has become pull-heavy. Reiterately, don’t trade him away for a dancing partner in a bear suit, but I would go to our Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore options.
