This marks my 100th post here at the Razzball baseball blog and I must say how thankful I am that I have a home at a blog where I can provide below average fantasy baseball analysis while referencing Jules Verne, Scientology, Jon Snuh and ayahuasca all in the same post. It’s been a wild couple a years and I outlasted many a writer I didn’t think I’d outlast. Remember when the Guru disappeared in a van? Remember Razzball TV on the Radio? And what ever happened to Kenyon!? That guy was hilarious. I remember when Grey first found me. I was trying to get my Harry Potter erotica/fan fiction off the ground and writing signs for homeless people to make a quick buck. “Why Lie I Need A Beer,” ever see that one? Yep, that’s a Dan Pants original. Grey said he could use my talents to express undying love for shortstops named Xander and tell people they shouldn’t own two catchers. The rest is history, folks. Special thanks to Grey, Rudy, and Jay. Not Tehol though–[expletive deleted] that guy. But enough about me, you’re here for the sub-par fantasy advice. The New York Mets (lol, Joakim Noah!) called up rookie Brandon Nimmo last Sunday and after going 0-for-4 in his debut, he’s hit safely in his past five games. He’s led off for NY the past two games and responded in a big way last night going 2-for-3 with a 3-run home run (a 440 foot shot). Curtis Granderson remains hobbled and with Michael Conforto “working things out” in the minors Brandon has been given an opportunity to shine at the top of the order. He slashed .328/.409/.508 with five homers and five steals in 63 games AAA this year. If you are looking for an outfielder in NL-Only and deeper mixed leagues you might consider finding Nimmo on your waiver wire.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Brandon Maurer – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, SV (1). So we all though Ryan Buchter, who pitched a scoreless 8th inning and struck out two, would be first up for save chances, but Manager Andy Green had other ideas as he anointed Maurer the closer before Friday’s game. Managers hate lefty closers, methinks? I know this because I have a second sense, aka ESP. I gained it by being a Level II Operating Thetan in the church of Scientology. Regardless of your faith (wrong as it may be), not sure I’d bail on Buchter just yet (he may slaughter you) but you should probably grab Maurer everywhere you need saves. And if you’re interested in gaining supernatural abilities simply by harnessing the natural M.E.S.T. around you? I have some literature I think you should read.

Wil Myers – 2-for-3, HR (19), SB (12). Wil “I Passed the Other L to the Player on My Left” Myers is my Overwatch partner and my fantasy hero. He’s got 2 homers and 2 steals in the past week. Pro Tip* that will help your fantasy team! Doode is OP!

Alcides Escobar – 2-for-4, run. He’s finally hitting, but he’s not really stealing enough for me to recommend him. So I guess I won’t!

Odubel Herrera – 2-for-4, HR (9), SB (12). Odubel likes his slam & legs wit-out onion, but wit extra whiz.

Jeremy Hellickson – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 6 K, W. I feel dirty recommending Hellboy, but that could also be that I havent showered in four days. Who has the time, amirite? Jeremy gets the Braves next week and I could see streaming him there.

Cesar Hernandez – 2-for-4, run, SB (4). Hail, Cesar! was not my favorite Coen Bros. film, but he’s a decent middle infielder option right now as he’s hitting over .500 with a stolen base over the past week.

Michael Fulmer – 7.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 10 K, 8th win. I tried to justify not getting Lucas Giolto to myself by rationalizing that none of these rookie pitchers are ever that good. Then I look at Fulmer’s 8-2 record. I look at his 2.17 ERA, 1.09 WHIP and 70/25 K/BB ratio. I look at these stats and I cry.

Cameron Maybin – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBI, SB (9). If Justin Upton produced like Cameron Maybin I’d still have my right pinky finger and I wouldn’t owe $2,000 to the Yakuza!

Victor Martinez – 2-for-5, 2 HR, 6 RBI. Hitting .346 with 4 homers and 11 RBI in the past week! Someone’s been feeding their thetans extra well this month! They love hot dogs!

Anthony DeSciafani – 6.2 IP, 6 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 8 K. Oh hey, he was a BUY! He’s been quite good rocking a 1.78 ERA, 1.29 WHIP through five starts. JB told you to Marry, and Grey said to Boff, so I guess that leaves me to recommend a kill? But I’m not a violent man…I will hold my judgement until after his start at the Cubs next week.

Trevor Plouffe – 3-for-4, HR (7). His seventh homer of the season but just my first “Plouffe goes the dynamite!” of the year!

Ian Desmond – 3-for-5, HR (15). Dez is slashing .323/.376/.535 with 15 homers, 52 RBI and 14 SB. Well, someone struck the jackpot drafting him. I think the last time I referenced Desmond in a post I made a LOST reference, which I can’t do now because know one knows what that is anymore. You millennials and your bad TV. Game of Thrones doe!?

Carlos Gomez – 1-for-4, HR (4), 2 RBI. No seriously, you guys, no spoilerz, but Game of Throooooones.

A.J. Reed – 1-for-2. A hit is a hit! The first of many! Alert the presses! I told you to BUY last week! Grey told you to BUY this week. Everyone overreact! This kid’s gonna be a star! Ha-cha-cha!

Julio Teheran – 6.2 IP, 11 hits, 5 ER, 6 K. Not helping his case to be traded to [insert your home team here]. But perhaps that’s the Braves plan all along!

Marcell Ozuna – 4-for-6, HR (17), 3 RBI. If I was looking for Stanton’s power, Ozuna’s locker would be the first place I check. I just so happened to be camped out in there waiting for Giancarlo to shower.

Jose Fernandez – 1-for-1, 2 RBI. Pinch hit double in the 12th. I know, I know, this has zero effect on your fantasy team, but it’s still pretty freakin’ sweet!

A.J. Ramos – 1.0 IP, 2 hits, ER, K. After converting 33 consecutive save chances, A.J. waits until the Marlins sign Fernando Rodney (1.0 IP, BB, 2 K), to give up a game tying home run in the ninth. Rodney also hasn’t blown a save all year so this is becoming a very interesting situation indeed. Way to mess with a guys psyche, trade for his replacement. I don’t see Ramos losing the gig after one hiccup but it’s worth watching closer than the Game of Thrones finale. OMG you guys, Game of Throoooones! All hail da King in da Norf!

James Loney – 3-for-5, HR (4), 3 RBI. Asdrubel Cabrera hit 2 home runs in this one as well, just in case you thought I was giving Loney any credit at all. I’ve said it before, James Loney is a first baseman for people who have given up on life. People like me.

Kris Bryant – 1-for-3, HR (23), SB (3). Leads the league in ding dongs and has hit five in the past week! THE POWER OF KRIS COMPELS ME! THE POWER OF KRIS COMPELS ME!

C.J. Cron – 2-for-5, Grand Slam HR (7). Cron Air! He’s hitting close to .400 over the past week! Remember when he was a potential 30 homer hitter!? Me niether!

Mookie Betts – 3-for-5, run, SB (13). He’s one of my favorite people in the world. I apologize to my real-life human girlfriend, but you will always be second to Mookie. What? It’s my 100th post and I’ll mention all the Red Sox I want so deal with it! Oh hey, Xander, we still on for tapas on Sunday?

Brock Holt – 2-for-4, 2 runs as he returned from the DL. BROCK HOLT! Brock doesn’t offer much beyond average and runs, but he’s been known to get hot and is eligible at a number of positions. Would bang.

Steven Wright – 5.0 IP, 8 hits, 4 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, W. When your ace is a knuckle baller. When your knuckle baller has to pitch in the rain. When you can’t stop talking in memes. When your real life human girlfriend is upset you won’t stop talking in memes so you send her a meme.

David Ortiz – 3-for-4, HR (19). His 522nd home run, now 19th all-time passing Teddy Williams. Do you know who that is? Big Papi is slashing .342/.435/.684 this year. Why are you leaving us, David? Why!? I will miss your hugs and homers. We neeeeeed you!

Sonny Gray – 6.0 IP, 7 hits, 7 ER, BB, 4 K. When the sky ain’t so sunny.

Wade LeBlanc – 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, BB, 5 K, W. Le’Wow! Wade has now pitched two quality outings since joining the Mariners rotation. I’d be hard-pressed to recommend him, but if you’re into being hard-pressed, you can pick him up and I’ll call you panini! Zing. I will see myself out.

Bud Norris – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, BB, 8 K, W. Okay, he’s not Clayton Kershaw, but this Bud’s for you, friend. This little piece of America right here might be worth a look. He’s got a 1.78 ERA since returning to the starting rotation, and now he’s pitching for LA, who have a slightly better offense than the Braves, to be fair. Pick him up if you hate yourself.

Trevor Bauer – 5.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, W. Not scheduled to start until Saturday, Bauer came into this one in the 15th inning after the Injians had exhausted the rest of their bullpen and he managed to get himself the win. Hopefully you didn’t have him sitting on your bench! I did. It’s all part of leading a miserable life. Trevor is rocking the 1.48 ERA, 0.94 WHIP with four wins over the past month. He needs to be owned at this point.

Marcus Stroman – 6.2 IP, 5 hits, ER, BB, 6 K. Stroman has been been pretty awful in between his flashes of dominance. Some might see inconsistency and huge risk, but I see a buy low opportunity! I live dangerously like that. Let’s go with ketchup and mustard on that dog, please! I’m feeling adventurous.

Carlos Santana – 2-for-8, HR (17). Smooth Santana hit the go-ahead home run off Darwin Barney. Ryan Goins also pitched an inning in this one. It was all part of the plan to stretch the Indians winning streak to 14 games without making it look obvious! Which is important because if Taylor and Dorn can’t get along and Vaughn doesn’t get his act together, Phelps is going to move the team to Miami! Gasp!

Lonnie Chisenhall – 5-for-8. Grey told you to BUY Lonnie and I agree! You also don’t see a lot of 5-for-8 nights! LC’s hitting .483 with 3 homers in the past week. What a wacky game 19 inning baseball-a-palooza this was, folks! And how fitting on America’s bday weekend. I hope this was a fitting 100th post, over-the-internet friends. Time to drink too much domestic beer, set something on fire and eat enough hot dogs to make me sick. I can think of nothing more baseball, or more America, than that.

Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below, or you can get at me on twitter @dandemanco. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!

 
  1. Grey

    Grey says:
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    When you cross 1,000 posts and your fingers bleed just seeing a keyboard, come see me!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Grey: I got the carpal tunnel real bad already

  2. Tehol Beddict says:
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    I literally have no clue who Dan Pants is. Literally….no clue

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: So typical. Classic Tehol. But you gotta admit, great rivalries like ours are good for fantasy baseball.

  3. Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
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    THE KING IN THE NOOOOOOTH!

  4. Shoegum Reynolds says:
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    Thanks Pants for not pouring battery acid into my Hammels inflicted gash. A 10spot against the hapless Mets bats…good grief. I can’t even think of a worthy analogy for that one.

  5. Malicious Phenoms says:
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    Great write-up Mr. Pants. Congrats on your 100!

    Started Fulmer, had Bauer in my lineup and Julio, oh forget Julio, thanks for messin up my perfect night..

    On Maurer, his numbers are decent against the NL, he has given up 10 runs in 4 1/3 against the AL however, leaving me to say, bench him against the Yankees this weekend.

    Enjoy your long weekend..Happy 4th my good man!

      • Malicious Phenoms says:
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        @Dan Pants: Instead of finding Nimmo, I am rostering Nimmo..

  6. Sportive Tricks says:
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    DAN!

    It’s Buchter, not Butcher.

    Love ya.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      Fixed. He really should change the spelling of his last name. Think of your people Ryan!

      • Sportive Tricks says:
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        @Jay:

        Yeah, what an a$$hole that guy is.

  7. Sportive Tricks says:
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    So, with that out of the way. I’m thinking of streaming Chad Green in SD tomorrow, as a batting tee has a good chance of a quality start there. Any thoughts?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Sportive Tricks: I like the park and the match up but I’d probably still avoid.

  8. And if Nimmo keeps hitting for your 200th post…maybe something like The Prince of Drakkar Noir?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Wake Up: Ha! I don’t plan on living that long

  9. Luke says:
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    Congrats Mr. Pants

    Question for ya.

    I ve got no room for Duvall, so what do you think of this deal?

    Duvall and Aaron Sanchez for Harvey and Papelbon

    Too much? Fair? Thank you.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Luke: depends on needs. I’d want a better closer in that deal

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Luke: Not a bad deal, I’d like to see Pap return healthy before I deal for him though

      • Luke says:
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        what do you think the better deal is… The one above or Duvall for Fulmer straight up?

        Thanks again

  10. J-FOH says:
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    Great post today. Total dong. Congrats on post 100. You outlasted me. Fantasy baseballers don’t have girlfriends they have a roommate they call mom

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @J-FOH: Ha! Thanks! To be fair, my girlfriend technically doesn’t know about my fantasy blog yet, and technically my mom doesn’t really know about my girlfriend…don’t blow this for me!

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Dan Pants: ha. One of these days you are going to have to come out of the fantasy closet.

        So scientology. Are you trying to get razzball black listed? I remember some gutter punk kids I knew back in the day that would squat in Hollywood for fun (they made more money panhandling than working a crappy job). Back then the church would comb the streets of Hollywood and these kids would take their tests….do well then mess with the receuiters.

        • Dan Pants

          Dan Pants says:
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          @J-FOH: Whoa now. My Scientology connections can only help bring Razzball to the next level of super stardom. Miscavige? Huge fantasy baseballer. Those punk kids clearly had some powerful, bitter and hate-filled thetans latched to their souls. It’s pranksters like that who need the church more than anyone.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Dan Pants: hey the Mormons said the same thing

            • Dan Pants

              Dan Pants says:
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              @J-FOH: We joke, but the mormons are right about a lot more things than we give them credit for, in particular their connections with the annunaki and the ancient mound builders.

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Dan Pants: are they connected to the Michigan copper miners too?

                • Dan Pants

                  Dan Pants says:
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                  @J-FOH: Who do you think built the mounds!?

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Dan Pants: white guys with beards who came up the mississippi

  11. Nitro says:
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    Head to head keeper league, please rank:

    Sano
    Mazara
    Heyward

    Thanks

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Nitro: mazara sano Heyward. I rank sano ahead because it’s a keeper and sano can win you a week where Heyward is helpful filler.

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Nitro: Agree me JFOH, might want Heyward over Mazara personally.

  12. Reid a book doode says:
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    Who would you drop for Hill’s activation? Fulmer, J Ross, Taillon, McCullers, K Davis, AJ Reed, or Baez? 11 tm keeper.

    Have Belt at 1B. Schoop at 2B. Donaldson at 3B. Polanco, Marte, Duvall at OF. Frazier at utility.

    Thanks! And congrats on your tenure good sir!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Reid a book doode: baez or reed. Depends who you have for bench bats

      • Reid a book doode says:
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        @J-FOH: Bench bats are either K Davis or Duvall, Baez, and Reed.

        • Dan Pants

          Dan Pants says:
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          @Reid a book doode: Tough call in a keeper, I might drop Mccullers.

  13. Hugman says:
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    What’s everyone thinking regarding Matz? I feel like he’s dropped to streamer level. I’m afraid to let go, but I want to do some waiver wire grabbing.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Hugman: I dumped him yesterday. Stream and use MR’s to keep your K’s up.

    • Mark says:
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      @Hugman:
      I dropped him, anticipating trip to DL

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Hugman: I wouldn’t hesitate to drop if you need to

  14. Robert says:
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    If Strasburg comes of the DL tomorrow, do you think Giolito gets sent down?

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Robert: Yes, Giolito most likely goes down when Stras comes back. However, wouldnt be so sure Strasburg is back tomorrow.

  15. Raindoggg says:
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    If anyone has their ears on…..OBP league…..keeper and could keep either for next to nothing but playing to win this year so that doesn’t really matter….
    …….Max Kepler or Trayce Thompson?….
    …..kind of tight in all categories so just looking for best player overall numbers wise…..

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Raindoggg: I’d go Kepler

      • Raindoggg says:
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        @Dan Pants: Was kind of leaning that way myself…perfect….thanks….

  16. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Dan. Pom or Pineda ros? Thanks!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Jerry: Give me Pineda.

  17. Just Busted says:
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    What are your thoughts on Justin Upton? I have had him all season and see no sign of breaking out..Chisenhall is on the waivers…too bold a move? When are we pulling the cord with Upton?

    Thanks!

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Just Busted: He can’t get much worse, right? Utpon’s been okay lately too, .295 AVG, 4 homers, 2 steals in the past two weeks. I’m still holding Justin for now.

  18. Steve says:
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    Kepler, Moya or Arcia? UTIL

    • Dan Pants

      Dan Pants says:
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      @Steve: Kepler

  19. Dan says:
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    Who do you think is the better pickup heading into next week and beyond, Semien or Espinosa? Thanks!

    • Dan says:
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      Or Baez as well.

  20. thorbs says:
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    Nice writeup!

    Norris is certainly going to regress, but I know in watching his last start the commentators were talking about how much he’d changed his pitching style (more sliders, introduced the cutter and dropped the change).

    Could he be a 3.50 ERA, 7.5 K/9, 1.18 WHIP sort of guy from here on out? I’ve got a menagerie of underachieving pitchers at the moment and can use any help I can get (Greinke, Tanaka, Duffy, Guerra, Keuchel, Felix, Liriano, Sabathia)

  21. And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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    guru went from the van to the hospital.

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