A Loch Ness Monster waits nervously in a doctor’s office. He turns to his left to a unicorn. “What brought you in here?” “I was having a weird pang behind my horn for a few weeks while in Candyland, and I went for an MRI when they found a growth.” The unicorn chokes back its fears, finishing, “I’m having a biopsy. You?” The Loch Ness Monster hands the unicorn a tissue, then, through tears, “I’ve been pooping this tar-like substance, and they’re not sure…what…it…is.” As the the two of them sob uncontrollably, they look across the receptionist area to Vladimir Guerrero Jr. The unicorn fights through tears and asks, “Why are you at the National Institute of Made-Up Injuries and Diseases?” “The Jays said I had an oblique injury to delay my free agency.” So, Vlad Guerrero Jr. has an oblique injury, which, honestly, is likely a real injury, but doesn’t sound serious. Maybe it is just an aching venient injury. Who knows. I’ve been saying for a while that I’m not drafting Vlad, due to his ADP, and wrote a Vladimir Guerrero Jr. schmohawk, so this doesn’t affect me a ton. Nor his MLB ETA. He wasn’t starting the year with the Jays either way. I haven’t changed his projections or ranking in my top 20 3rd basemen, though there have been a bunch of changes in my rankings, so let’s get to it. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2019 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Steven Wright
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The joy you get from watching someone grab Freddy Peralta off waivers, then he throws a terrible start is Schadenfreddy. However, he doesn’t throw terrible starts, so what does that leave us with if we don’t own Peralta, but we long for him? Freddy Kreager beaver? (They get worse, so skim with your eyes if you must.) Freddy Appetizeralta? Freddeeeeeeesire….. I wanna know what the Brewhaha is about, Freddy got fingered by someone other than me? *drops mic, mic lands on foot* Ouch. Yesterday, Freddy Peralta did as he’s done a couple of times before — 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 10 Ks, ERA at 1.59 thru three starts. I don’t think he’s quite this good, let’s get that out of the way right now, said like Gordon Ramsay. He is good, though, and I’ve been telling you to own him since he was called up. He’s short (for a pitcher, still towers over me), but has strike out stuff (12.8 K/9 in Triple-A). His delivery corkscrews out into a, “Get me some boxed vino, I’m a wild man,” pushing a 4+ BB/9, so there’s gonna be some ugly starts at some point, but I would still grab him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Then I Saw Those Ks, Now I’m a Belieber
June 23, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 37 Commentsby: Dan Pants
Cleveland Indians rookie Shane Bieber was dominant Friday night in just his third career start, pitching seven innings, allowing just four base runners and striking out nine for his second win. Talk about a reason to Love Yourself. The Biebs now holds a 2.45 ERA and 1.36 WHIP through his first three starts (18.1 IP) and his 22/3 K/BB is Despacito–at least I think it’s despacito, not 100% sure I know what that means. I’m saying it’s flames. Shane Bieber is striking out lots of batters. Oh Baby, Baby. Baby sign me up. Wow, you sure do know a lot of Justin Bieber songs. What do you mean? I make it my business to know all about the Beibebers. For example, in the minors this year Shane was 6-1 with a 1.29 ERA, 0.77 WHIP and a 72/6 K/BB. If those numbers make you scream like a teenage girl and and write Shane’s name is cursive flirty letters on your notebook you’re not alone, Beiber’s got the stuff to be a bonafide heart throb. He will likely see the usual rookie pitchers highs and lows, but he’s looking like the favorite to run away with the fifth rotation spot in Cleveland. He’ll get a rougher assignment than Detroit next time out taking on the Cardinals in St. Louis but I’d grab Shane for the upside alone and hope he can make a Belieber out of all of us.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Please, blog, may I have some more?[brid autoplay=”true” video=”255110″ player=”10951″ title=”Fantasy Baseball Mailbag Week 11″]
Said like DJ Khaled, “Another one.” The Rays called up Willy Adames (1-for-2, 2 RBIs) as they placed Daniel Robertson on the DL. You might remember him better as Commander Willy Adames of the Battlestar Galactica. S’nerdy. “Hey, Grey, if your mustache wasn’t so full and well-groomed, I’d noogie you so hard.” That’s you reading my Battlestar Galactica reference. Sorry, guys and girls, there’s space for both of us. Bam! A line I think I’m quoting but prolly not. Any hoo! Captain Adames is a Xander Bogaerts-type, according to Prospector Ralph. On the top 100 fantasy baseball prospect list, he wrote, “One of toughest types to rank on top prospects lists. The middle infield prospect, who has always been young for his level, with advanced hitting, but neither standout speed or power. Adames might take a few seasons to find mixed leagues relevance, but he should develop enough power to be a very viable shortstop option by 2020. By which time Grey’s a distant memory and I run this ‘itch!” What is up with that, man?! Adames is the kind guy hard to get excited about if he’s a 15/10/.280 hitter, but since he’s only 22 years old, if he grows into more power, he could be a future high-end shortstop. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, deep-league folks, things are looking a little extra thin on the waiver wire this week, at least from my POV — hopefully there’s a bit more to choose from in your world. I have an AL-only team where I have dead spots at OF and CI, and there literally wasn’t a player I could use available to me on waivers over the weekend, so my starting lineup this week includes one guy on the DL and one guy in the minors. When I searched for free agents, the only available player who qualified at corner who’d had a major league at bat over the previous week was Jefry Marte. I went ahead and bid a buck on him because, why not, but evidently there was another team in a position just as dire: I actually did not end up with Marte on my team because someone else also bid a dollar on him, and I somehow “lost” due to whatever our tiebreaker is. If any of this sounds even remotely familiar to you, know that you’ve found the section of the Razzball world where we understand your pain. And if you play in a relatively deep league but there are still at least a handful of options out there, have some fun and make the most of your waiver wire transactions – who knows which random pickup could reward you with a little long-term value. And if you play in shallow leagues, enjoy your freedom and go nuts making those drop/pickups, as I have in the RCL Writers’ League – it gives me a sense of freedom that I shall never experience in leagues where the likes of Jefry Marte get fought over.
Since we’re talking about random pickups, here’s a few players that might be of interest to those of us in the world of deep, deep-ish, and super-deep-league fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Another LA Newbie Getting By Stripling For Money
June 6, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 374 Commentsby: Grey
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Opening a gift, “Aw, geez, Kershaw, you didn’t have to give me your arm.” That’s Ross Stripling at the office Christmas party. “Don’t mention it. Hey, Tommy Lasorda, could you get off my lap, my back is starting to hurt. Also, you’re not wearing pants.” I forget if I ever told you — the royal you since you’re wearing that Burger King crown — but a friend of mine told me Lasorda still goes to the Dodgers’ clubhouse to use the showers and likes to walk around naked. How’s dem visuals! By the by, I’ve reached the age where I forget if a friend of mine told me that, I heard it on the radio or if a commenter told me. Welcome to your 40’s, you don’t look a day older than 27. No, really, I don’t. Anyhoo! Last night Stripling did what he’s done all year — 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.52. The slightly bizzonkers thing is his peripherals say he’s nearly this good — 11.1 K/9, 1.9 BB/9, 2.63 xFIP. Don’t love he throws only 92 MPH, but he’s dominating with the curve. He credits pitching coach, Rick Honeycutt, with his newfound success, saying he told him to throw the curve as hard as he can. I see no velocity difference in his curve, according to the stats, but stats-schmats, Honeycutt-Schmoneycutt, whatever works. At this point, hard to ignore the results(schmults). Anyway, here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball yesterday:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Making a living as a knuckleball pitcher is rather similar to playing DFS. When you have things go just right, it’s all aces. If you’re off, you can get clobbered. Steven Wright is one such pitcher we’ve seen on both sides. Is tonight his night? Let’s knuckle up on Draft.com, get the grip right, and put some stats up.
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Please, blog, may I have some more?I can’t believe Aaron Judge was caught stealing yesterday. I’d be afraid of tagging him. He should have just put the MI in The Claw, Baron Von Judgeske-style. You remember The Machines? They were the most obvious masked wrestlers in the 80’s. Andre the Giant and Hulk Hogan put on a mask, but wore exactly everything else. Here’s Hulk Machine:
It’s like the Clark Kent of disguises. It’s like if I wore a Hamburglar disguise but you could see my mustache. They should do Baseball Machines. Right now, Judge Machine is my favorite Machine and moving in on my love for Giancarlo Machine, and where the hell is Odor Machine? He needs to pop Bautista Machine in his big, fat mouth and get crazy like Charlie’s mom, Ma Sheen. As for Judge Machine, yesterday he went 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his major league-leading 13th homer as he hits .330. That last number is the real surprise. Is he a .300+ hitter? I’m gonna go unlikely with a side of nuh-uh. Can he hit 40 HRs and .270? That’s looking affirmative. I’m sure he’ll cool off; they all do, but I wouldn’t be against buying him high either. If someone doesn’t believe the 40-homer, 275-pound love muscle, get him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ambulance Chasers, Week 5: Four For Thor
May 3, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Injury Report | 13 Commentsby: Kerry Klug
This 10-day DL situation has really created some nice job security for me. Jeff Zimmerman of Fangraphs has done the work to prove this for me — as of May 1st, players have spent 4,198 days on the disabled list, an 8% increase from 2016. There has also been a 30% increase in disabled list trips from 2016.
If you have any specific questions about injured players or fill in options that are specific for your league please leave a comment below and I will get back to you with my thoughts, otherwise, let’s get to it!
Please, blog, may I have some more?In the 1700’s, magic meant going into an oven with raw meat and coming out wearing a hamburger as a hat. That magic awed people, even though they had seen an oven and a hamburger before. We’ve seen Thames before, and we’ve seen home runs before, but Eric Thames still feels like magic. He is a modern day beef illusionist. I will call him, David Copperfood. Yesterday, Eric Thames went 3-for-4, 3 runs with his 7th homer, and 15th homer in the last four games, as he hits .405. We go over Thames on the podcast that’s coming later today, but, damn, I wish I owned him everywhere. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? When You’re Here (In Pain And Fear), You’re Familia
March 30, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 467 Commentsby: Grey
Jeurys Familia was given a 15-game suspension for domestic abuse charges filed against him this offseason. One could say Jeurys was given a 15-day DL trip to Familia, but the DL in this case is Dangerous Love. If there was anyone predestined for Family Court, it would be him. Familia was helped by his family’s testimony to Our Commissioner Manfred. They asked Familia be allowed to go on all Mets’ road trips. The Mets can sure pick closers. Let’s see: Familia; K-Rod attacked his father-in-law and Jenrry Mejia was permanently banned from MLB. The Mets don’t use a belt with their closer pants. They prefer suspenders! This is all an eerie reminder of past Mets violence when Justin Turner tried to help Ike Davis during one of his prolonged slumps. Any hoo! Familia will miss about six to eight saves and I’ve moved him down in my top 500 and moved up Addison Reed, his replacement. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more? Ambulance Chasers: Don’t Get Tweaked
February 27, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Injury Report | 11 Commentsby: Kerry Klug
Let the overreaction to Spring Training numbers begin! Gregory Polanco went 3-for-3 with 2 stolen bases in his debut — 115 SB prediction for Polanco! Jason Castro went 2-for-2 with a HR in his first game — 60 HR for Castro! Shelby Miller allowed 2 runs, 3 hits over 2 innings — that is actually pretty on-brand for Shelby Miller. Do not trust Shelby Miller! Health is really what you’re looking for in Spring Training and these guys are failing that test so far…
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Please, blog, may I have some more?A little birdie told me our 2024 Fantasy Baseball subscriptions are live. The little birdie also said it includes our Draft War Room. You really wanna lose in a fantasy baseball league to a little birdie? Would be kinda embarrassing, tbhhttps://t.co/1ag7IFSYS0
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