by: Grey
Slather me in Mayo and call me tuna fish! Douse me in Hellmann’s and tell me which circle I’m in! Throw a piece of crumpled paper towards the wastebasket and call me Coby! From your mouth to my ears, please tell me I read correctly that the O’s are calling up Coby Mayo. I did? […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Is it me or can you not hear his last name unless it’s screamed in the sentence, “Someone get me McGreevy!” Meh, maybe it’s me. Yesterday, the Rangers got McGreevied and now they’re McAggrieved. Michael McGreevy went 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks in his MLB debut. Oh, okay, I see, I need […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Every trade deadline deal: [team name] got fleeced and [team name] fleeced them! What was it, anyway? [Player name you know] for two [players’ names who you don’t really know]. Wow! How could [GM’s name] be so stupid? We’re saving money and getting better for [insert future year]. I’m as guilty of this as anyone. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Guards have Carlos Carrasco, Jhonkensy Noel and now, after their trade yesterday, Lane Thomas. That means they have a Car-Car, JHONK and Lane! You better get out the way! The Guards are changing lanes! Can I be real for a second? I love how competitive the AL Central is. Guards getting guys, Royals getting guys, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yankees fans put on A Tribe Called Quest and sing, “We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…” Of course, the Yankees have great players; they always do. I’m sorry, I’m not a Yankees fan, but it’s just true. This year […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Pat Murphy, the Brewers’ manager and the head of the MLB’s Irish-American Anti-Defamation League, Take A Walk After BB (Beaucoup Beverages) is on the phone with his chapter, “Hey, Seamus, I’d like to send this new Giants’ kid, Tyler Fitzgerald, a personal greeting from Colm Meaney and Brendan Gleeson dressed as leprechauns to welcome him […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Dylan Cease (9 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 3 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.50) throws a dandy, but you know what else? Dylan Cease is a dandy! Not the 1954 through present-day definition! I don’t know if he dandies like that. I’m saying he’s a dandy like the 1776 through 1953. During 1953 to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
So, this is a little unrelated to fantasy — don’t worry, we’ll get to stuff that is 100% unrelated in a second — but here’s the setup, Cal Quantrill (6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.09) threw a good pitch to get Reese McGuire to pop-up and celebrated on the mound. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This post is called giving flowers. I am at the headquarters for 1-800-Flowers, answering questions like, “Why didn’t I just call them?” and “What do you mean you don’t know our number?” and “If you’re allergic, that’s even more of a reason not to be here, isn’t it?” Questions like that! But you know what, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
A haltingly groggy voice, “I’m so proud of my son, Hunter,” says Joe…..Greene! C’mon! What Joe did you think I was going to say? “Hunter really knows how to avoid the crack,” Joe stammers, “Of the bat.” Joe Greene again! C’mon! Yesterday, Hunter Greene went 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Brandon Pfaadt went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.74. Singing a’la the Fat Boys, “The Pfaadt Boy is back! And you know he can never be wack!” [sees Pfaadt’s game log] Okay, so he can be wack. “The Pfaadt Boy is back! And you know he can […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?How’s everyone doing without baseball every day? I’m doing great! I walked into a Jersey Mike’s and told them a story about a Mike I knew from Jersey who owed me money, and told them I wouldn’t be paying for my sub. They can take it out of the money Mike owes me. The police, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?