Hey, look at this! I got two tickets for the Astros’ Broadway remake of Weekend at Bernie’s! How cool is this? You know I’ll be seated! Later, the lights dim and the curtains go up. On stage, there’s a home plate with an impatient ump and catcher. The ump yells, “This is going to be […]
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Mets are promoting Christian Scott to the majors this weekend–[presses finger to ear] “Yes, I can hear you? What happened? As soon as they gave him the news he was promoted to the Mets Christian Scott became…bad? How does that happen? I see, so as soon as they said the word ‘Mets,’ he suddenly lost […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?I’ll admit to a certain type of satisfaction seeing the Rays suck. We should all be rooting against them for what they’ve done to our great game of baseball. The opener? Sucks! Not promoting prospects? Sucks! Pitching guys so far over their limits they all get hurt? Sucks! Platooning everyone? Sucks! Okay, someone help me […]
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Brewers Dumped Out Their Miller for A Stout
April 30, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 432 Commentsby: Grey
Brewers called up Tyler Black, who has one of the most badass names. He sounds like Johnny Cash’s son if his son’s first name was Cash and was like, “I’m so badass but I’m changing my name from Cash Cash to Tyler Black, because that’s even more money than Cash Cash.” Guess what? Tyler Black […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Rockies Call Up Beck Cuz They’re Sick Of Being Loser Babies
April 29, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 350 Commentsby: Grey
At the Consumer Electronics Show this past year in Vegas, Rockies manager Bud Black was there showcasing his newest sunglasses, they’re called ProspBlockers. Here, I’ll let you hear it directly from the man on his infomercial. “Sick of seeing upside? When you look forward are you sick of ‘looking forward to better things?’ I know […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Nick Senz-L-O-V-E To His Adoring Fan
April 28, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 439 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, Nick Senzel went 2-for-6, 5 RBIs with his 4th and 5th homer. That’s five homers in a week for him! He’s only played ten games all year! Well, of course he has, the 11th game for Senzel is like midnight for Cinderella. ACKSUALLY! Call him Senzella! He’s a Godzilla meets Cinderella monster! Rawr! Watch […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? You Can Buy Heston From My Cold, Dead Hands
April 26, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell, Featured | 257 Commentsby: Grey
Imagine you’re in a deli waiting for a pastrami on rye. Not just any pastrami on rye, but the best pastrami on rye. Like all delis, you have to take a number. So, you pull a number and it’s number two. Not bad! You only have to wait one person! You can do that! So, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Simeon Says, “Let My First Start Be Against The White Sox”
April 25, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 231 Commentsby: Grey
So, here’s where I give you the grain of salt. The White Sux suck. Their team name is White Sux. No worse sucking than a team named Sux. The heart of their lineup is Mendick/Sheets, which is as exciting as the Orthodox Jewish sex image it elicits. Their team batting average is .189! They are […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Cody So-Ribweak Becomes Pete Crow-Armstrong
April 24, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 328 Commentsby: Grey
Ton of injuries yesterday, huh? You ever go to your waiver wire page in each league and type in the injured player’s name to see who has the injured player? Then when I see someone else has the player I say, “Ooh, too bad,” sarcastically, and when I have the player I say it sincerely. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Keeping One Eye On Fedde
April 23, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 347 Commentsby: Grey
This past preseason I went to Japan, which is close enough to Korea, so I am an expert on Korean Baseball Organization’s import Erick Fedde (6 IP, 1 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 11 Ks, ERA at 2.73.) Do I know for sure the O in KBO stands for Organization? No, it could stand for […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Elder Man Has Miami Retirement Plans
April 22, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 315 Commentsby: Grey
I want to talk about Bryce Elder, but first I have to ask is Taylor Swift’s new album an ode to Casey Anthony? I’ve watched the Investigation Discovery true crime documentaries too, Swifties! What is going on here with this track list? I demand answers! [gets dragged away in straitjacket] I will not be silenced! […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Don’t Fear The Patriarchy With A Gil P. Add
April 21, 2024 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 454 Commentsby: Grey
Some pitchers have a “Hitters can’t get comfortable against them” quality. Whether it’s fear that they’re going to get hit because of the pitcher’s lack of control or if it’s the movement on the stuff, it’s a quality that I don’t think any stats measure well. Lack of command + Nastiness = Uneasy. The only […]
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