by: Grey
Guards have Carlos Carrasco, Jhonkensy Noel and now, after their trade yesterday, Lane Thomas. That means they have a Car-Car, JHONK and Lane! You better get out the way! The Guards are changing lanes! Can I be real for a second? I love how competitive the AL Central is. Guards getting guys, Royals getting guys, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yankees fans put on A Tribe Called Quest and sing, “We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…We’ve got the Jazz…” Of course, the Yankees have great players; they always do. I’m sorry, I’m not a Yankees fan, but it’s just true. This year […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Pat Murphy, the Brewers’ manager and the head of the MLB’s Irish-American Anti-Defamation League, Take A Walk After BB (Beaucoup Beverages) is on the phone with his chapter, “Hey, Seamus, I’d like to send this new Giants’ kid, Tyler Fitzgerald, a personal greeting from Colm Meaney and Brendan Gleeson dressed as leprechauns to welcome him […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Dylan Cease (9 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 3 walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.50) throws a dandy, but you know what else? Dylan Cease is a dandy! Not the 1954 through present-day definition! I don’t know if he dandies like that. I’m saying he’s a dandy like the 1776 through 1953. During 1953 to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
So, this is a little unrelated to fantasy — don’t worry, we’ll get to stuff that is 100% unrelated in a second — but here’s the setup, Cal Quantrill (6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 4.09) threw a good pitch to get Reese McGuire to pop-up and celebrated on the mound. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This post is called giving flowers. I am at the headquarters for 1-800-Flowers, answering questions like, “Why didn’t I just call them?” and “What do you mean you don’t know our number?” and “If you’re allergic, that’s even more of a reason not to be here, isn’t it?” Questions like that! But you know what, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
A haltingly groggy voice, “I’m so proud of my son, Hunter,” says Joe…..Greene! C’mon! What Joe did you think I was going to say? “Hunter really knows how to avoid the crack,” Joe stammers, “Of the bat.” Joe Greene again! C’mon! Yesterday, Hunter Greene went 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Brandon Pfaadt went 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.74. Singing a’la the Fat Boys, “The Pfaadt Boy is back! And you know he can never be wack!” [sees Pfaadt’s game log] Okay, so he can be wack. “The Pfaadt Boy is back! And you know he can […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?How’s everyone doing without baseball every day? I’m doing great! I walked into a Jersey Mike’s and told them a story about a Mike I knew from Jersey who owed me money, and told them I wouldn’t be paying for my sub. They can take it out of the money Mike owes me. The police, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This is the weirdest 1st half of baseball in memory from a fantasy standpoint that’s not obviously weird. That’s how weird it is! There’s no offense, but also: There’s kinda no great pitchers. Sure, there’s guys like Seth Lugo (you knew I’d be writing that in March), but there’s no, like Pedros or Big Units […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Holding hands to eyes, sun blinds me, I turn back and call into the house, “Ma, how long is this break without baseball? Ma?” I realize now that I’m not emerging from my mom’s house. I’m emerging from a bunker. I had been in there longer than I imagined. I pick up a newspaper to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Cool Colt Keith aka Dr. Octagon aka Dr Doom aka Hey That’s Colt Keith Not Colt 45, Stop Trying To Crack Open His Head And Drink Him, Billy Dee aka White Elvis aka Poppa Large aka Dicky Long Docking aka Guy who is top 100 on the 30-day Player Rater aka Guy who has 2B […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?