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Author: Grey

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Grey

Patrick Corbin, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 10, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 102 Comments

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Patrick Corbin will be only 28 years old for half of the 2018 season.  I know, surprised me too.  How did I know that would surprise you?  I read your mind, man.  What’s that?  You’re now thinking string cheese would make a good tampon for a mouse?  Hmm, all right, you shouldn’t share that with anyone.  What is that you are thinking now?  Why not take one McRib and make a McEve?  Okay, I think I’m going to stop reading your mind now.  Seriously *motions to your head*  things are going on up there we don’t need to talk about.  Last year, Patrick Corbin, or as a serial killer would call him Pat Rick Corbin, went 14-13/4.03/1.42/178, and I fell asleep in the middle of that stat line.  1.42 isn’t a WHIP it’s my college GPA.  Four-oh-three isn’t an ERA, it’s an ate-testant’s starting weight on The Biggest Loser.  178 isn’t strikeouts it’s–Actually that’s not bad.  As a male porn actor once said, it’s about time we went under the hood.  So, what can we expect from Patrick Corbin for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Trevor Williams, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 8, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 118 Comments

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This is my answer track to my Masahiro Tanaka sleeper.  If that sleeper was on the shallow side, this is the polar opposite.  As the Guru once said, this post is for leagues that are deep and much too complicated.  Guru from Gang Starr, not Guru who used to write for this site.  It’s funny how I came upon Trevor Williams.  Not haha funny, because I’m not a clown.  For our five lady readers, do you know the benefit of having sex with a clown?  He can take the condom afterwards and make balloon animals.  Any hoo!  I noticed Trevor Williams when I was looking for Trevor Bauer.  I told you, funny!  That means, up next for a sleeper post, Ted Williams!  Then I will talk about a Williams and Sonoma catalog.  What’s that, you love Trevor Bauer and want to talk about him?  #Metoo.  I’m not using that right, am I?  Carry on, Grey!  Carry on!  If Trevor Williams were just, say, Trevor Williams who we never want to talk about, and not Trevor Williams who I want to talk about, we still wouldn’t be here, if it wasn’t for this one little stat:  21.5.  What is this 21.5 that I speak of?  Soon answers will be revealed like the last five minutes of Law & Order.  Clang-clang.  So, what can we expect from Trevor Williams for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Masahiro Tanaka, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 5, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 150 Comments

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Honestly, I don’t know how much of a sleeper Masahiro Tanaka is going to be in 2018.  I’m writing these posts without a ton of draft data.  You down with ADP?  No, actually, I’m not, and you know me.  My guess is Tanaka will be drafted between 100-130 overall.  There’s value to be had with that draft spot.  If people start hyping him and his splits (which I’ll get to), then Tanaka’s going to zoom past the point of sleeper.  I imagine in a lot of friendly leagues where people show up the day of the draft because it’s the only time they get away from their families, who they not-so-secretly despise, Tanaka will be a relative bargain.  And by ‘relative bargain’ I don’t mean the cousin who is living with you who you tried to sell on the Darknet.  Tanaka will have the Yankee inflation even in those leagues, so he’s not going to be as cheap as his last year 4.74 ERA should have him.  Then, in quote-unquote smarter leagues, Tanaka might be drafted in the top 90 overall because in those leagues people want to prove how much more they know than their leaguemates so they push up a guy like Tanaka on draft boards.  In most leagues, however, people will know Tanaka has a tendon issue, they’ll know he had a wretched first half last year (I promise I’ll get to the 2nd half), and they’ll know there’s safer guys while not wanting to prove anything to anyone by drafting Tanaka early.  In those leagues, Tanaka should come at a relative bargain.  Again, not the cousin you put on Darknet’s eBay.  So, what can we expect from Masahiro Tanaka for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Blake Snell, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 4, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 71 Comments

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The Rays pitching could be excellent this year.  Chris Archer is due for a positive correction; Jacob Faria might take the next step; I’ve always liked Jake Odorizzi; Matt Andriese is underrated; Jose De Leon is ready, willing and maybe healthy; I’ve already told you why my Brent Honeywell fantasy includes heart emojis and unicorns, in that order; I can’t wait for Jose Mujica to be promoted just so I can say, “Mujica Eff Yeah!” and Nathan Eovaldi…Well, he’ll likely still be crap.  Yet, the best one of those bunch could be Blake Snell.  Last year in 129 1/3 IP, his record was 5-7/4.04/1.33/119.  *turns computer upside down, turns head sideways, puts Instagram filter on stats, looks at stats in mirror*  Okay, any way you look at those stats their not gorge.  The 4.04 ERA is particularly vexing when you look at it in different ways because it’s a palindrome.  However, the 911 strikeouts is no joke.  Booooooooi!!!  By the way, leave it to the Rays to keep Snell trapped in the minors for six years when he’s looked ready for the last four.  If Snell were on the Tigers, he would likely be in his fifth major league season, on his 2nd major league team and would’ve won a Cy Young by now.  So, what can we expect from Blake Snell for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Luis Castillo, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 3, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 126 Comments

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In a post last year titled, Good Luck Storming The Castillo In 2018 Drafts, I wrote, “Watching Luis Castillo is officially an ASMR trigger.  *insert onomatopoeia of satisfied exhale, picks up invisible fork and knife, mimes cutting up satisfied exhale, eats exhale*  Do you see how Castillo’s got me?  I’m eating satisfied exhales.  Can I write the 2018 fantasy baseball sleeper post right now for Luis Castillo?  TFW you see Castillo:  Insert Oprah’s o face around Gayle King.  CASTILLO MAKING ME CRAZY!  And not eating sugar for six days isn’t helping.  This Whole30 Diet got me like:  insert crazy-googly eyes.  I got Biggie Smalls eyes right now.  *smacks face*  Be coherent, Grey!  Sorry, about that.  Luis Castillo’s surface perfs:  9.9 K/9, 3.2 BB/9, 3.40 xFIP, averages 98 MPH, and now I’m lightheaded again.  Okay, need to save something for his 2018 sleeper post.”  And that’s me quoting me!  So, guess what this is?  The Luis Castillo sleeper post.  Frank Voila!  Am I little concerned he’s not really a sleeper anymore?  Yeah, he’s being drafted a little high.  He might only be a sleeper, if everyone in your league is actually asleep.  So, what can we expect from Luis Castillo for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Michael Wacha, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

January 1, 2018 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 85 Comments

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I’ve been focusing a lot on hitters so far with my 2018 fantasy baseball sleepers (clickbait).  This is not by design.  Hanging in my kitchen, an Elvis clock that keeps time by swiveling its hips and a poster of a cat making sushi, so I can call that room my “kitsch-en,” that’s by design.  We need to find cheap pitchers who will return a better ROI just as much as cheap hitters.  By the way, ROI is the douchiest thing I’ve ever written on Razzball, and I tried to make “Potatoes to chips” a thing for five years.  Though, potatoes to chips, I kinda want to own Michael Wacha in every league.  You can look at his 12-9 record with a 4.13 ERA and balk, but Steve Carlton had a shizzton of balks, so is this a bad thing?  Not to answer, but to ruminate while sipping a pamplemousse La Croix.  This isn’t even about the Cardinals making explosive players out of duds, i.e., making dynamite out of nitric acid and a manifesto.  There’s one word females aren’t trying to gender neutralize, huh?  You don’t hear anyone complaining it’s not personifesto or even womanifesto.  Sure, leave us white men with the crap words!  Now, that I’ve mansplained manifesto… What can we expect from Michael Wacha for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ben Gamel, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 29, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 58 Comments

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Over in the Paul DeJong sleeper, I went over different types of sleepers.  There was the the sleeper who– Actually, just go there and read the categories I laid out like your mother lays out your clothes.  Are you back?  Good.  Okay, Ben Gamel doesn’t fit into any of those categories.  He’s in the category of “Who the eff is Ben Gamel?”  Just on the Mariners alone, I could say Ryon Healy is a sleeper, and some people might agree.  Mitch Haniger has been a sleeper for about three years.  Maybe some would even consider Mike Zunino a sleeper.  Ben Gamel though?  He’s not going to be drafted even in deep mixed leagues.  He’s a sleeper who fantasy baseball ‘perts won’t even talk about, but if you mention him they’ll be like, “Oh, yeah, he’s a good sleeper.”  So, why not talk about him?  “Because no one is going to talk about him.”  That’s right, most fantasy baseball ‘perts judge their sleepers on how much they are not sleepers.  Why is this?  Not sure, ask them.  Ben Gamel is around that of a $2 play in AL-Only leagues.  He’s the Rip Van Winkle of sleepers.  He’s such a sleeper I guarantee you there will be people asking me in the comments as late as June if they should pick him up.  He’s the kind of guy that can win super deep leagues with a very late round pick.  If you only play in shallower mixed leagues, go check out my Paul DeJong sleeper.  If you want a deep league flyer… So, what can we expect from Ben Gamel for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Manuel Margot, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 28, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 47 Comments

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Last year, Manuel Margot hit 16 homers and stole 21 bags, while hitting .263.  *you checking Manuel Margot player page, you furrowing your brow*  A 23-year-old with 16 homers and 21 steals while not killing you in average and being drafted after 200 overall?  Huh?  *you tentatively raising your hand*  You, “Um, Grey.”  Not right now, I’m making a point.  Is he being artificially deflated by the association with the Padres? Knowing the Padres, he’ll be traded to the Cubs for Andrew Cashner.  *you holding your elbow as your arm gets tired from being raised*  “Grey, can I just say one thing?”  What, you?  Smugly, “He only hit 13 homers and stole 17 bases.”  That’s right, in only 126 games, I was prorating his numbers over the course of the season, so eat a D, Smug You.   This was also his rookie year.  What, no player has ever gotten better after their rookie year?  Maybe not Cody Bellinger or Aaron Judge or Ben Grieve, but most do get better after their rookie year.  So, what can we expect from Manuel Margot for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nick Castellanos, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 26, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 75 Comments

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Hahahahahahahaha–Breathe, Grey, breathe!  Nick Castellanos?!  As a sleeper?!  Again?!  Well, it must be fantasy baseball sleeper season with a post about Nick Castellanos.  I debated on whether or not to write this post (for 17 seconds), but I kinda have to write a sleeper post about Nick Castellanos now because if he really does breakout in a huge way this year, I can’t have this offseason be the one year he doesn’t have a sleeper post.  That wouldn’t make any sense.  Kinda like every episode of Mr. Robot.  Elliot is doing what now?  I have no idea, and I watch the episodes and read the recaps.  I nearly talked myself out of this sleeper post, too.  Not because I’ve written the same one four years counting, though that would’ve been a good reason.  I almost didn’t write it because his power was so lucky last year.  He nearly led the league with ‘Lucky’ homers (4) and was fifth in the league for ‘Just Enough’ homers (12).  16 homers out of his 26 homers that could’ve easily been doubles (one, actually, could’ve been an out because it was a misplayed inside-the-park-homer).  Who’s Greek and might only hit 10 homers next year?  Nick Markakis, the Greek God of the Bloop Single, but if there’s room for one more, Nick Castellanos, the Greek God of Hard Contact, seems like a worthy bedfellow.  Though, there’s the thing:  Hard Contact.  So, what can we expect from Nick Castellanos for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Position Eligibility for 2018 Fantasy Baseball

December 22, 2017 | 2018 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 125 Comments

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On Dancer!  On Prancer!  On–Oh, I didn’t hear you come in.  Welcome, reader!  Grab some egg nog and brandy it up to the fire.  You look festive.  I love that Rudolph tongue ring.  That’s the great thing about Christmas, no matter what your interpretation is, it’s all about commercialism.  That’s unless you light the Munenori Kawasaki. The 2018 fantasy baseball rankings are not far away.  Right now, January Grey is throwing darts at a board to figure out where to rank Shohei Ohtani, the hitter vs. Shohei Ohtani, the pitcher.  Exciting!   In the meantime, let’s look at the players who have multiple position eligibility for this upcoming 2018 fantasy baseball season.  The biggest surprise from this list is one that we’ve discussed previously.  I’m going to try to stay in the holiday spirit, but Anthony Rizzo having 2nd base eligibility because they switched his glove out ten times is really effin’ stupid.  So, if Mike Trout plays the outfield with a catcher’s mitt, he’s a catcher?  Oh.  *runs a marathon in just under nine hours*  Kay.   Any hoo!  I did this list of multi-position eligible players because I figured it would help for your 2018 fantasy baseball drafts.  I’m a giver, snitches!  Happy Holidays!  I only listed players that have multiple position eligibility of five games or more started outside of their primary position.  Not four games at a position, not three, definitely not two.  Five games started.  If they played eight games somewhere but only started one, they are not listed.  5, the Road Runner of numbers.  So this should cover Yahoo, ESPN, CBS, et al (not the Israeli airline).  Yes, Christmas came three days early this year.  Players with multiple position eligibility are listed once alphabetically under their primary position.  This is the only time a year I do anything alphabetically, so I might’ve confused some letters.  Is G or H first?  Who knows, and, better yet, who cares!  Wow, someone’s got the Grinchies, must be the spiked egg nog talking.  A very special thank you to VinWins, who helped me put this list together.  Anyway, here’s all the players with multiple position eligibility for the 2018 fantasy baseball season and the positions they are eligible at:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Giants Like Investing In Veterans As The Day Is Longoria

December 21, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 76 Comments

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The Giants went out and traded for the 32-year-old Evan Longoria, who has rapidly been declining for years.  Please, keep that in mind while I run down their lineup.  Hitting leadoff…Steven Duggar?  Is that the Christian with 52 kids who is cheating on his wife with his butler or some shizz?  Maybe, it’s definitely not Christian Arroyo, he was traded.  Hitting 2nd…Joe Panik?  We’re only two guys in, but Panik, indeed.  Then will come their newly-minted three-hole hitter, Longoria, followed by the 14-homer, don’t-touch-his-pretty-boy-face, Buster Posey.  Please never let me see another one of those commercials with Posey in it.  Please.  Next up!  A guy whose hits are described as “belting one” because his last name is Belt, and for no other reason.  It is completely and unequivocally not because he hits the ball hard.  Followed by…Is it a bird?  Is it a plane?  Is it my 72-year-old aunt trying to throw a baseball?  No, it’s The Gangly Manbird, Hunter Pence.  Next up, some combination of Brandon Crawford, Jarrett Parker and let’s hope Madison Bumgarner knocks in a runner otherwise they’re going to lose 95 games.  As my intern, let’s call him, Lalph Rifshitz would say, that’s primo, bud.  As for Longoria, he should feel at home with the Giants since he is used to being in places that collect old people.  On the bright side, Longoria plays a lot, staying on the field.  On the dim side, you kinda wish he’d take more days off.  For 2018, I’ll give Longoria the projections of 86/22/94/.271/2 in 608 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nomar Mazara, 2018 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper

December 20, 2017 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 59 Comments

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I know what you’re thinking, haven’t we already called Nomar Mazara a sleeper?  So?  We can’t ever call a guy a sleeper again after calling him one?  I know, this is so logical it’s absolutely nuts.  Crazy Town, population: My Stache.  “I think you should get into government.”  “Why?”  “Because you’re the only one living in Crazy Town, and you can shore up the vote pretty easily.”  That’s some local townspeople and My Stache discussing My Stache getting into government.  Nomar Mazara is so forgotten he’s behind this blank space              and you need one of those special highlighters to rub over the space to reveal his name.  Mezuzah was hung at the door of “Breakout” two years ago and has been collecting dust ever since.  Last year, in his attempt to deflate any optimism about his career, he hit 20 HRs, stole 2 bags and .253.  Hit the snooze alarm, I’m getting drowsy.  “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most boring player?”  “Hmm, does that say Ramon or Nomar?  It’s hard to read in a mirror.”  So, what can we expect from Nomar Mazara for 2018 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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