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Grey

Tout Wars: Drafting Hitting Like I Just Got The Stimmy

March 23, 2021 | Our Leagues | 214 Comments

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A friend of mine Pete Gabriel looked at my team and said, “This team is going to be a sledgehammer!” Then after a brief pause said, “I didn’t capitalize sledgehammer, and I am in no way related to Peter Gabriel or Peter Gabriel’s estate. Any potential confusion is just unfortunate mistake. Please don’t sue me.” Then after filling out a ten-page contract clearing him of any liability, he said, “Your hitting will go boom, boom, boom! Son,” he said, “Grab your things, your hitters will drive guys home!” Then, after a lengthy reconfirmation that he was 100% unrelated to Peter Gabriel, he said, “The light…the heat…Your team is complete in your eyes.” Then quickly added, “But I didn’t sing any of that so don’t confuse me, Pete Gabriel, with the Grammy-winning singer, Peter Gabriel.” It’s exhausting hanging out with that guy. For those unaware, this league is 5×5 with OBP instead of AVG, two-catcher, 12-team NL-Only league. Anyway, here’s my Tout Wars draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Jonathan India Trying Hard To Curry Favor Of Cincy Coaches

March 22, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 277 Comments

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With Eugenio Suarez apparently the new Reds shortstop after they tried and failed to acquire every garbage shortstop this offseason, Jonathan India has been added to the top 20 3rd basemen. Now…we dance! *long involved Bollywood dance with me somehow sitting on a floating carpet* Yelling into the distance, “I love you, Pashmina!” Was about time that I gave India his due. What, am I British now? My teeth would tell you no, but my love for Olivia Colman and Earl Grey would tell you yes. Which ya gonna believe? I just recently discovered India, while standing in The Bahamas and saying, “Hey, cool, this is America and who wants to open a casino?” Was talking to Podcaster Ralph, who knows a thing or two about prospects, and he gassed my head up on Jonathan India, and I think he can now go 40/10/.260. Then, we deflated ourselves back to earth, and realism took us south, and now I’m in Sri Lanka. “Sri Lanka is better than a cup of Sanka!” That’s me just before getting dirty looks in Sri Lanka. India is a pull-heavy, fly ball hitter. How’s that sound in Cincy? Seriously, take a moment and think about it. You see how I came away with a 40/10/.260 line? Gonna put him down for realistic projections in the top 20 3rd basemen, but looking for a guy who could be 12-team mixed league relevant by May? Look no further than India, Magellan. For now, if your starter is out, outsource to India. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Yahoo Friends & Family Draft Recap: Getting Dangerously Close to Declaring a Fatwa on Pitchers

March 19, 2021 | Our Leagues | 247 Comments

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I don’t get it. This…this…this “pitchers have to be drafted early” …thing! Am I the only one who lived through the last baseball season? Even if you were to say to me, “I always draft starters early,” I’d say you’re living in some kind of goofball world made out of unicorns and iPhones that don’t correct the F word to duck. But fine! If this were a normal year. “If this were a normal year” is the ying, the yang, the sun and the moon. No pitchers are going to throw a lot of innings. Less innings means Gerrit Cole, if he’s the best pitcher, and the tenth best starter are going to be closer together. Pitchers as pancakes. Have one, and it’s Yum City, population: You. Have two, and it’s solid, great. Have three and it’s, “Do you have blueberries or something for these?” Have four and it’s, “Well, I liked my first two.” Have five and it’s, “I want bacon.” Have six and it’s, “I don’t even remember liking the first two anymore, and I never want to see another pancake.” All these guys taking starters crazy early are eating pancakes. Before I even drafted a starter, one team took Cole, Woodruff and Glasnow! “Cole…cool, cool. Yum City!…Woodruff…Um, yeah, but maybe I can get some blueberries or something…Tyler Glasnow? Stop! I’m diabetic!” For those unfamiliar, this is a standard 5×5, 16-team league, and, since it’s Yahoo, it’s 4 outfielders and two UTIL. As always, I used Rudy’s War Room, which is available with a subscription to our Razzball Tools. Anyway, here’s my Yahoo Friends & Family draft recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

3rd Basemen to Target for 2021 Fantasy Baseball

March 18, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 202 Comments

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Excuse the exposition and this clunky intro into aforementioned exposition, but here’s the catchers to target, 1st basemen to target, 2nd basemen to target, and shortstops to target. These 3rd basemen to target are being drafted after 200 overall. Keep in mind, nephew (and five niece readers), your Uncle Grey likes to have a corner man drafted by the time these guys appear, so you’re looking at potential utility men more than anything. There are upcoming RCL drafts, if you wanna get rowdy and/or bawdy. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Indonesia) supplement to the top 20 3rd basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2021 projections. Anyway, here’s some 3rd basemen to target for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Shortstops to Target for 2021 Fantasy Baseball

March 17, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 182 Comments

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While the 2nd basemen to target is a necessary evil like changing your underwear. This post, well, have you seen the top 20 shortstops for 2021 fantasy baseball? Dude, why did you not draft one of the glorious top top TOP guys? Did you show up late to your draft because you were delayed by the underwear necessary evil? Bzzt! Wrongo, Bucko! Unlike previous years, I’m hopeful that everyone owns at least one shortstop prior to getting to the sleepers in this post, and likely two. Top shortstops are the bee’s knees, and bees have knees; I’m a scientist. This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Lichtenstein) supplement to the top 20 shortstops for 2021 fantasy baseball.  The players listed have a draft rank after 200 on other sites.  Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2021 projections. Anyway, here’s some shortstops to target for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

2nd Basemen to Target for 2021 Fantasy Baseball

March 16, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 158 Comments

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Psst! This post is gonna list 2nd basemen that you should target in your 2021 fantasy baseball drafts. I’m whispering because you don’t want everyone to see this post. No, I can’t whisper louder, then it WOULDN’T BE WHISPERING! Okay, gig’s up (or maybe that’s jig’s up), the love I’m about to reiterately (Made Up Word of the Day!) confirm is on these guys I love later in drafts. I’m not going to mention Ketel Marte other than this one mention of him where I say I’m not going to mention him. At least that’s my apophasis and I’m sticking to it! These are players that you’re looking at later and all of them have ADPs after 200 (unlike Marte; okay, two non-mentions). Some could be the 2nd baseman on your team, they are more than likely MIs. This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Croatia) supplement to the top 20 2nd basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2021 projections. Anyway, here’s some 2nd basemen to target for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nola He Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen (With Catcher Glove Hand Fractured Fingers)

March 15, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 159 Comments

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Austin Nola was diagnosed with a fractured middle finger. The worst injury that’s ever befallen a truck driver. That’s how they speak! Honestly, it’s how I speak on the road too. Cut in front of me and I go from “One to road rage” in a half city block. Then again, I cut people off all the time too. Just a generally terrible driver, I am! My favorite is when I cut someone off, then can sense them giving me the evil eye or middle finger, and don’t give them the satisfaction of looking over. Stew on that! So, Austin Nola will undergo a couple of days of treatment before they announce a timetable. I’ve still adjusted him a bit in my top 20 catchers, and that could change further. In the mean’s time, you know who this is good for? *saddles up to the bar* “Give me a martini with two carrot sticks.” That’s right, Yu’s personal catcher, could be yours. Victor Caratini will move into the everyday catcher job and this could mean time for Luis Campusano, who is cut from the same white-linen tablecloth as the $54 Vending Machine Steak, Franmil Reyes. In addition to my updated catcher rankings, I’ve also updated the top 500 for 2021 fantasy baseball. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

15 Team, NFBC Draft Champions Recap: It’s War With The War Room

March 12, 2021 | Our Leagues | 250 Comments

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This was the hardest draft of my life. I kid sometimes you can draft something like four of five guys in my top 20 overall, unless you’re in a league with 11 other Greys. Well, this league felt like I was in a league with 14 other Greys. This draft was like everyone was sitting in my head and moving my arms and I was Howdy Doody and my team turned to doodie and GET OUT OF MY HEAD, I scream as I take two Dusty Baker collectible toothpicks and jam them into my ears. Honestly, this league kinda filled me with joy. Y’all are so good. I was very impressed with everyone’s drafting. No teams jumped out as complete messes. Well, except for mine. It was like you flew out of the nest, turned around to me your Daddy Bird, smiled, and then motioned for a woodpecker to take out my branch so I would fall to my death. Why are you working with woodpeckers behind my back?! (By the by, we just added ten more RCL leagues due to demand — Play against a hundred of your greatest frenemies! — signups) Anyway, here’s my 15-team, mixed league, NFBC Draft Champions recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

1st Basemen to Target for 2021 Fantasy Baseball

March 11, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 236 Comments

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‘Member the days when I told you that you needed a top 1st basemen and you shouldn’t look for sleepers at this position? Don’t remember? Prolly for best, leave more room in your brain to remember an excuse for why you didn’t exercise. Previously, I’d tell you to go to my top 20 1st basemen for 2021 fantasy baseball (not clickbait at all) and draft some top guys and stop fooling around with sleepers at this position. Of course, I’m malleable like Gumby and this year we need to look for sleepers at 1st base *ducks head*.  Whoa, someone threw a wrench into this! Fine, Pete Alonso and Matt Olson get my nethers ablaze, but 1st basemen dry up quick. As with other positions like the catchers to target (again, not clickbait), these are 1st basemen that are being drafted late. For the 1st basemen, I’m going with an ADP of 150 or later to be included in this post. Anyway, here’s some 1st basemen to target for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Catchers To Target, 2021 Fantasy Baseball

March 10, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Sleepers | 155 Comments

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Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2021 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone. I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers. Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that during the Ottoman Empire. Applies to oranges, it still applies. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2021 projections and blurbs I wrote for them. This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2021 fantasy baseball. Now, guys and five girl readers, I am not saying avoid catchers like Yasmani Grandal if they fall, but, to get on this list, a catcher needs to be drafted later than 200 overall, and, to preemptively answer at least seven comments, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late. Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2021 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Gerrit Cole, 2021 Fantasy Schmohawk

March 9, 2021 | Fantasy Baseball Overrated | 191 Comments

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That’s a text message from Gerrit Cole to Brian “Bubba” Hawkins trying to procure some spin-inducing substance. That text message is being used in a court filing against the MLB, as Bubba claims he’s being used as a scapegoat. There’s only so many institutions that could be under fire from someone named Bubba. In the last ten years, the name Bubba only shows up three times in the U.S. court system: Bubba vs. Lowe’s for faulty outdoor furniture; Bubba vs. Pfizer as a manufacturer and distributor of trucker speed; Bubba vs. Bubblicious gum for not being at all Bubba-approved. That last case got thrown out. Okay, I kid, about the latter of this nonsense, but that really is a text from Gerrit Cole and he’s named in Bubba Hawkins’s court filing. Max Scherzer, Justin Verlander, and just about every Angels’ pitcher of the last decade-plus are also named. It’s not just a Gerrit Cole issue. It’s a league issue.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

LABR 12-Team, NL-Only Draft Recap: I’m The My Plan Guy

March 8, 2021 | Our Leagues | 207 Comments

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Never in the history of fantasy baseball posts has anyone successfully pulled off what I’m about to do. I’m going to write out my pre-draft plan here for everyone to see, and leave it unchanged even if the plan doesn’t come together. I’m the world where Mike Nesmith’s mother never invents Liquid Paper. Yo, keyboard, take away my delete and backspace buttons, don’t need ’em. Have you heard of the My Pillow guy? Well, I’m the My Plan guy. Okay, here goes, prepare your eyeballs. My Plan: Buy top hitters, and cheap pitchers. Use Rudy’s War Room (free with a Razzball Tools subscription). Change underwear in case something happens. Surprise! This is the same plan as I’ve used just about every year in NL and AL-Only leagues. I really need to start changing my underwear more than just prior to drafts. I go for balance in 12-team mixed leagues. (If you want one of those, play against me and hundreds others for prizes –> Razzball Commenter Leagues.) In these mono-leagues, I go for a few big bats, and usually around a 78/22-ish split. Doesn’t always work out; let’s be honest, sometimes I barely spend 18% on pitchers. If you’re wondering why I don’t spend on pitchers, welcome to the site, may I suggest starting at top 20 starters for 2021 fantasy baseball? Anyway, here’s my LABR 12-team, NL-Only draft recap:

Psyche! Before going into the LABR draft recap, Donkey asked that I notify people that RazzSlam qualifier leagues are now signing up. Didn’t get into the RazzSlam and wanna correct that for next year? Top 10 finishers will secure a spot for 2022. Slow drafts (4-hour pick clock) will begin 30-minutes after your league fills. It’s Best Ball, so after you draft, you don’t need to change your lineup. Just slowly rub your hands together and smile evilly. Here’s the RazzSlam rules if you’re a completist. Anyway II, the LABR recap:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
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