by: Grey
It’s not all bad news that you don’t have Nick Martinez on any teams. If you drafted him instead of Paul Skenes in the 2nd round, your leaguemates would’ve lured you into Patrick’s basement. (Patrick is your leaguemate and the stock broker who keeps trying to get you in his fund, and you’re like, “Patrick, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Saw an open house on RedFin recently of the Rockies’ front office. You enter from the parking lot into the lobby, which was built to resemble a giant ear canal. Then you travel into the main workspace, where the office and personnel is supposed to be and it was designed to appear to be a […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Mariners’ Jerry Dipoto watching the giant clock that reads, “Rookie Eligibility Manipulation.” The big hand reads, “Service Time,” and the smaller hand reads, “Under 45 Days Active to Maintain Rookie Eligibility.” Dipoto remarks to his assistant, “Why didn’t they put ‘Under 45 Days Active to Maintain Rookie Eligibility’ on the big hand and ‘Service Time’ […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Messick, a noun, verb and adjective for when you are calling out to work and can barely speak into the phone. “Hello,” you mutter. You’re a mutterer all right, because you have your hand over the phone, so they don’t hear you’re on a raft in a lazy river at the Great Wolf Lodge while […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Kyle Harrison went 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.84, and pitched well enough as the Brewers laid it on thick, scoring 22 runzingas. But did you hear Kyle Harrison had five earned runs removed from his last start, due to a scoring error? That’s right, the scorer, who scores […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Ketel Marte didn’t show up to Fenway Park on Monday, and, honestly, good for him. Mondays stink. As someone who went to school in Boston and went AWOL from freshman through junior year, due to, uh, one Ketel, been there, man. (Okay, in fairness, we put Popov vodka in a bottle of Ketel to try […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
At the Vatican, staring at the Sistine Chapel, and Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam. Because I’ve been staring at so long, Adam morphs from bare-chested to having a Cardinals’ jersey. His, uh, lower half grows into a bat and God is not touching his finger anymore, but tossing him a meatball. An Italian man next to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Tim Tawa sounds like an NFL QB, doesn’t he? “Steps back to pass, and the wide flank is janky, needs to look back inside, and the tight end is loose! Oh my God, he’s a loose tight end! Oh God, this is gorgeous! Tim Tawa’s flanking no more! He’s loosening a tight end! Must’ve been […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, Braxton Ashcraft went 9 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks in 85 pitches, ERA at 3.88. 64 of those 85 pitches were for strikes. From what I’m reading, he made some records. He was the first pitcher with 85 or fewer pitches to go nine innings and get 10 or more strikeouts. That’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Wanna have a little laugh-a-rooski at my expense? Of course you do! For last week’s Buy/Sell, which is really a Buy/Drop (but trademark attorneys couldn’t secure it), I wrote to drop Alex Bregman, but then prior to publishing it, I thought, “Grey, you big lug! You who’s-he-what’s-it’s! You surprisingly tall and slender man, you! No […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Eury Perez might’ve became an ace, I think. I don’t want to say that he did and have him go caca-cuckoo and sideways. I’m very careful about what I say, even if it seems like I’m literally putting my mouth into a megaphone and screaming at speech-to-text on my phone. “Get me a seltzer! Order […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This lede was derived from the very simple question: Who the eff is Blade Tidwell? I legitimately didn’t know. I asked AI and AI said, “That is the part Cuba Gooding Jr. played in Jerry Maguire with the very famous catchphrase, ‘Show me where your money is.’ If you’d like, Grey, I can tell you […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?