by: Grey
Yesterday, Jesus Luzardo went 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.32. On the Player Rater, he’s a what? Top 25 starter? Top 20 starter? Top 15 starter? C’mon, guess! I need you to guess! Bzzt wrongo! He’s around a top 10 starter. You weren’t expecting a vague answer, were you? Luzardo […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Funniest thing about me thinking George Lombard Jr. sounds like he’s 120 years old and a former lead in George Cukor films is that he looks like he’s 12: Honestly, if that kid said to me where’s the Axe Spray, because he thought I worked at CVS because I’m old enough to be his grandfather […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, to honor Dillon Dingler, I did as I’ve done every day this summer, I dressed up like a poop emoji to watch the Tigers game from my house. I’m the Head Dingler Dangler, as you know. Unfortunately, I went outside to grab my Postmates (three-bean burrito, no lettuce), when my neighbor yelled at me, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The NL MVP race seems to be shaping up to be between two guys. Yesterday, that race shaped up as they shipped out balls. It’s between Shohei Ohtani, the every-year MVP and Ed Sheeran– Sorry, being told that is not Ed Sheeran. That’s Pete Crow-Armstrong. They both lit up the scoreboard yesterday. PCA went 3-for-5, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The 1927 Red Sox are answering the age-old question, is it better to be loved or feared? Neither, it’s better to hit some freakin’ dongs! Louie Armstrong knows where it’s at when he questions, Wilyer or Won’tyer be my baby? By the way, that’s like Should I Stay Or Should I Go. Bro, “If I […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Marlins have been rebuilding since the early 2000’s, but there was never a real feeling that they were trying. I can’t remember a time the Reds haven’t been rebuilding. But the Orioles? They’ve been rebuilding for what, 15 years? Okay, but they were supposed to be done rebuilding! They were sniffing glue on their prospects […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Dodgers are at 41% chance of winning the World Series. In a game like baseball, where anything can happen on any given day, that’s insane. Dodgers should be more like 98%. Who’s doing these odds? They’re so dumb! Why couldn’t any other team but the Dodgers get Tarik Skubal? It’s not like other teams don’t […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The Heriberto Hernandez buys started on July 10th, when I said, “If you prorate–[Mr. Prorater skydives through my ceiling, legs crashing through, but getting stuck] Damn it, Mr. Prorater! “Sorry, I misjudged the angle. Prorated it at 45 degrees. Anyway! Heriberto is a 30/15 hitter in a full season of at-bats. Wow! Now, can you […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Max Clark was called up by the Tigers and the chain discourse is about to get crazier than what was Nancy Reagan doing on Mr. T’s lap. You look at Max Clark’s sprint speed and I look at Max Clark’s sprint speed with and without chains. We. Are. Not. The. Same. You look at Max […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The title of this post is basically snapping the Twins in half. They are like, “Please, can I hide my face, I’ve been snapped in half.” Which face though, because if you get snapped in half you automatically get two faces. One top face, we’ll call it Face A. Then your 2nd half face, which […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I wanna talk about Troy Melton but first we have to acknowledge the Tigers scored 14 with the hitting stars being: Gleyber Torres (2-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 5th homer). I’m convinced Hinch saw that Gleyber used to bat at the top of the Yanks’ lineup — three years ago — and was like, “Welp, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?You know the concept of Yin/Yang? Definition online (which might be 65% accurate because it’s online): An ancient Chinese philosophy that describes how two opposite, complementary forces interact to form a balanced and connected whole. Let’s use that to explain the two big stars for the Mets. Imagine you have a Yin, let’s call them, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?