One of the first things you learn in Spanish language classes is how to roll your cars. You hit a corner as hard as you can and scream, “OYE!” [intern whispers in ear] You roll R’s? What does that even mean? The letter? I have a stack of resumes to replace you that goes from […]
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Connor Norby aka Con-Nor is again the Rockies pulling a fast one on an unsuspecting trade partner. Here’s the Rockies’ front office, “Who will we tantalizingly ruse this time? The Marlins? Okay, watch this,” then they do a move that you’re just left to wonder, “Are the Rockies so insanely dumb that they’re smart?” It’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yesterday, Adley Rutschman (2-for-4, 3 runs) hit his 10th and 11th homer, as he returned to Camden for the first time since his trade. He hit that 2nd home run and you know he was like, “Yeah, former sugar daddy, this is what you’re not getting no more!” Then as he rounded the bases, he […]
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Painter’s Tape No Longer Making Phillies Feel Blue
September 2, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 113 Commentsby: Grey
Another day, another great Phillies pitcher, eh? I said “eh” like I was drinking a bottle of maple syrup with my pinkie in the air. I hate the “we have to talk about” segue. It sounds like Oprah in my head. “We have to talk about something, you know what we have to talk about […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Gavin Invites The Blue Jays To His K-Mitzvah
September 1, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 101 Commentsby: Grey
Gavin Williams (7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (1 BB), 13 Ks, ERA at 3.81) might have the record for most ledes in one calendar year, and he only has a 3.81 ERA! Has any pitcher ever been so good while seeming so bad? Sorry, he’s excellent. Also, he’s got a near-4 ERA? I’m not […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Montes Assumes A Revenge On All Pitchers
August 31, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 136 Commentsby: Grey
Mariners went out and got Taylor Ward at the deadline and ever since they’ve been like: [pokes Taylor Ward with a stick] “Uh, is he supposed to move?” [lights end of stick with a fire, takes burning ember and pokes Taylor Ward again] “No, he’s a goner. Sad. I guess toss him into the Puget […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Little Zebby Baked Up Some Snack Cakes This Week
August 30, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 234 Commentsby: Grey
Could Zebby Matthews (8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.58) of the Matthewsses be having himself a star mitzvah? Let’s see the background on him: His real name is Daniel Zebulon Matthews. Honestly, smart move to go by Zebby. Zebulon is out of this world on its own. […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Buying That Maybe P-Ram Cans Be What We Swansoned From Dansby
August 28, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 131 Commentsby: Grey
You know what’s kinda weird? Those earrings that stretch earlobes? I just shuddered thinking about them, but they’re not weird. Eating turkey makes you tired, but turkeys aren’t always sleeping? That’s closer to weird, but not quite what I was going for. They still deliver mail six days a week, in all kinds of terrible […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Minnesota May Have Finally Found Joe Mauer’s Twin
August 27, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 88 Commentsby: Grey
Many people know Minnesota as the Land of 10,000 Lakes. What they don’t know, who the heck counted all those lakes? What if they were at like 9,877 lakes and someone tickled them and they lost count and just started again at 9,880, then it would actually be the Land of 9,997 Lakes, but no […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Yanks Bring Up Elmer To Befuddle Opponents
August 26, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 109 Commentsby: Grey
Going outside my house in Staten Island in the 103-degree heat to put a little Luis Garcia Jr. (3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 28th homer, hitting .287) jersey on my baby Jesus in my nativity set and calling inside, “How’s that Ma?” Ma screams back, “LuGaJu! LuGaJu! Now put a little Ben Rice […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Now That’s The Loaded Paul (Tato) Skenes We Like To See
August 25, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 89 Commentsby: Grey
Last week, after yet another bad start, Paul Skenes couldn’t sleep. He was ruminating his career. His bad starts piling on top of each other. On top of it all, he was dealing with a girlfriend who had a very bad jimmy leg. His coach, LL Donkey, said to him, “If you’re going to be […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? The Big Dumper Stops Taking A Big Dump For One Night
August 24, 2026 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 131 Commentsby: Grey
Okay, we have to talk about Cal Raleigh (3-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 15th, 16th and 17th homer). I should’ve told you to drop him April. Maybe that would’ve got him going earlier. When not accounting for injury, this season is the worst follow-up to a MVP-like year ever. I can’t think of many that […]
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