by: Grey
“If you mix one part gin with one part speed and one part power and one part average and one part “possibly a Quad-A player,” and one part good contact and one part–How many parts is that?” Excuse me, I’m asking the bartender, Isaac, how to make an Issac Collins. Turns out I had it […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Weird thing happened yesterday, everyone threw a great start, but I had written a lede for all of them this year previously. Hate to double up, even though Shane Baz, Hunter Brown, Cristopher Sanchez, and Kevin Gausman were all worthy. So, instead, let’s marvel at Clayton Kershaw (6 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, Yusei Kikuchi went 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.82. This start had Streamonator losing its mind over it, predicting a start of 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks. Yikes, not even close! Three fewer baserunners! Those two runs ended up unearned! And he had more Ks! […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?How about Framber Suarez! I mean, how about Ranger Valdez! Ramber Suadez! Frager Valrez! How about them all? Can you not put your hands together and celebrate good pitching without them being aces? You’re such a try-hard with your, “Ooh, I need aces,” and I’m like, “These guys are good enough for you,” all preseason, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
“Trevor Rogers shoved, bro!” I hear that, and my first thought is, “I do not have a brother for Rogers to shove.” My second thought is, “Why is he shoving people? Does he need anger management? I am legitimately concerned for Trevor Rogers.” My third thought is, “There’s no third thought.” My fourth thought is, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Chase Burns will be called up for Tuesday. Mr. Burns if you’re nasty or Smithers. Chase if you’re patio furniture or on the show Cops. CB if you’re a terrible ump with the last name Bucknor. Cha-Bu if you’re ordering something in a Korean restaurant and mispronouncing it. He is coming. The 2nd overall pick […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I asked ChatGPT this great philosophical question, “If mom says don’t play ball in the house, and when she said it she was in the Brady House, and Brady House plays ball, is he making mom mad?” ChatGPT didn’t say anything in return, but smoke rose from its robot ears and started sputtering. I defeated […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Philadelphia Phillies is such a funny name. It’s like the California Calis or the New York Yorkies. How’d that get through 150 years of name changes to get to us? ACKSUALLY, I wonder if it’s because it’s such an old name it’s how it’s here. The name is from 1883, and back then people would […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?This is my mea culpa on Chris Sale (8 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.52). I said to avoid him and I blew it like I was Scott Blewett. Why was Sale left in to throw 116 pitches yesterday? That I don’t know, but my guess is Brian Snitker stopped […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Beaten and bruised, the Rockies entered Washington. They just saw their best friend, the great Apollo Creed, die because Bud Black didn’t throw the towel fast enough. Instead, he threw a lineup card with their best hitter in the 9-hole and their 2nd best hitter on the bench, but that’s another story. The odds, as […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Was between Ryan Pepiot (8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks, ERA at 3.11) and Ohtani for the lede and I went with the “eating your vegetables” vs. “dessert as every meal” lede. I mean, which would you have chosen? Dessert? [eyes your waistline] You don’t say. So, Pepiot’s numbers look promising, and the […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?So, I was enjoying my Father’s Day with my dog, Ted. He was tossing me the frisbee, I was catching it in my mouth (in our house, we don’t assign roles). Then it was announced that Rafael Devers was traded to the Giants, and I started rolling on the floor, laughing, and Ted gave me […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?