by: Grey
At the Vatican, staring at the Sistine Chapel, and Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam. Because I’ve been staring at so long, Adam morphs from bare-chested to having a Cardinals’ jersey. His, uh, lower half grows into a bat and God is not touching his finger anymore, but tossing him a meatball. An Italian man next to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Tim Tawa sounds like an NFL QB, doesn’t he? “Steps back to pass, and the wide flank is janky, needs to look back inside, and the tight end is loose! Oh my God, he’s a loose tight end! Oh God, this is gorgeous! Tim Tawa’s flanking no more! He’s loosening a tight end! Must’ve been […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, Braxton Ashcraft went 9 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks in 85 pitches, ERA at 3.88. 64 of those 85 pitches were for strikes. From what I’m reading, he made some records. He was the first pitcher with 85 or fewer pitches to go nine innings and get 10 or more strikeouts. That’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Wanna have a little laugh-a-rooski at my expense? Of course you do! For last week’s Buy/Sell, which is really a Buy/Drop (but trademark attorneys couldn’t secure it), I wrote to drop Alex Bregman, but then prior to publishing it, I thought, “Grey, you big lug! You who’s-he-what’s-it’s! You surprisingly tall and slender man, you! No […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Eury Perez might’ve became an ace, I think. I don’t want to say that he did and have him go caca-cuckoo and sideways. I’m very careful about what I say, even if it seems like I’m literally putting my mouth into a megaphone and screaming at speech-to-text on my phone. “Get me a seltzer! Order […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
This lede was derived from the very simple question: Who the eff is Blade Tidwell? I legitimately didn’t know. I asked AI and AI said, “That is the part Cuba Gooding Jr. played in Jerry Maguire with the very famous catchphrase, ‘Show me where your money is.’ If you’d like, Grey, I can tell you […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, Jesus Luzardo went 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 3.32. On the Player Rater, he’s a what? Top 25 starter? Top 20 starter? Top 15 starter? C’mon, guess! I need you to guess! Bzzt wrongo! He’s around a top 10 starter. You weren’t expecting a vague answer, were you? Luzardo […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Funniest thing about me thinking George Lombard Jr. sounds like he’s 120 years old and a former lead in George Cukor films is that he looks like he’s 12: Honestly, if that kid said to me where’s the Axe Spray, because he thought I worked at CVS because I’m old enough to be his grandfather […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Yesterday, to honor Dillon Dingler, I did as I’ve done every day this summer, I dressed up like a poop emoji to watch the Tigers game from my house. I’m the Head Dingler Dangler, as you know. Unfortunately, I went outside to grab my Postmates (three-bean burrito, no lettuce), when my neighbor yelled at me, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The NL MVP race seems to be shaping up to be between two guys. Yesterday, that race shaped up as they shipped out balls. It’s between Shohei Ohtani, the every-year MVP and Ed Sheeran– Sorry, being told that is not Ed Sheeran. That’s Pete Crow-Armstrong. They both lit up the scoreboard yesterday. PCA went 3-for-5, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The 1927 Red Sox are answering the age-old question, is it better to be loved or feared? Neither, it’s better to hit some freakin’ dongs! Louie Armstrong knows where it’s at when he questions, Wilyer or Won’tyer be my baby? By the way, that’s like Should I Stay Or Should I Go. Bro, “If I […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Marlins have been rebuilding since the early 2000’s, but there was never a real feeling that they were trying. I can’t remember a time the Reds haven’t been rebuilding. But the Orioles? They’ve been rebuilding for what, 15 years? Okay, but they were supposed to be done rebuilding! They were sniffing glue on their prospects […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?